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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Assisted Conception (and all the bits in between) volume 7

785 replies

Italiangreyhound · 13/04/2011 01:23

Hi ladies Pumplinjoy, Shirley, Lissy, Keziah, Womanly,Val, Late, monkeybumsmum, tametortie and Rowing* - hugs to you all.

woowa of course you can join us.

Choco and Horton and londonlottie do you still look in on us?

Can you all find us?

OP posts:
lucylookout · 29/05/2011 20:05

Hi Scrummy, I just wanted to acknowledge your questions, although I'm afraid I don't have any answers. I have just had a failed IUI with a different London clinic and have made an appt with ARGC for further treatment (hopefully). They have a 12 week waiting list though so my appt isn't until the end of July. I have decided to have a consultation with them because they have the best stats in the country for my age group (39 soon to be 40), although the intensity of their treatment would not apparently suit everyone. I have 'heard' (on these forums) very good things about Lister too. Do they have a more holistic approach there? Maybe it's worth finding out if they have open days/evenings at the clinics and you can see what feel you get from each. The fertility friends website is quite good to have a mooch around and see what people say about the clinics. Have you also looked at the HFEA website? They show all the stats for all UK clinics, broken down by treatment type, age etc etc. The info is displayed in the same format for every clinic, so you can really compare like for like.
As for costs I'm not sure. No doubt both are very expensive, but I'm at the fingers in ears stage saying 'LA! LA! LA!' loudly.

Scrummybumb · 29/05/2011 13:19

Hi, can I just ask a quick question.....been trying for 8 months with no luck. Going through the VERY slow process of testing with NHS at the moment, but slightly hoping that the delays will actually lead to a natural conception before the 12 month milestone. I'm 38, about to turn 39, so time is not on my side, but I'm still trying to stay positive and hopeful. But, to prepare myself, I do have couple of questions - we won't get treatment on NHS and to be honest, I would probably choose private anyway to allow myself a bit more control and to keep things moving. been looking at the options around clinics and got my eye on either Lister or ARGC. So, to cut to the chase,

  1. do any of you have experience of both and how would they compare?
  2. have I really understood correctly that a cycle of IVF with Lister would be around £9K taking into account monitoring, blood tests, drugs etc.

I know this is early days for us, but just wanting to do my research in advance. Many thanks for any advice in advance.

lucylookout · 29/05/2011 11:17

Keeping everything crossed for you Rowing, I so hope it all goes well for you. Let us know how you get on (((((hugs))))) x

rowingboat · 29/05/2011 09:44

Hi all,

sorry I haven't been on, having a bit of a time of it. I started bleeding more heavily yesterday and I'm just feeling rubbish. Off to buy a clearblue test to see what it says.
Revoltingly, I have kept first morning pee [disgusting face] so I can use the test rather than wait until tomorrow.
Don't have any symptoms at all. [crawls off]

lucylookout · 28/05/2011 20:43

Italian I have a question, ignore me if I'm being nosey and forgive me if you've already posted the story, but did you have any rounds of IVF after IUI, before moving onto donor?

lucylookout · 28/05/2011 10:49

No offence taken Italian! I was glad I watched it but only because there was no bad news that I didn't already know and I was cheered by women's determination in the face of negative statistics. I get what you mean about patronising, I particularly thought the woman 'specialist' seemed to have it in for other women.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 27/05/2011 23:41

Sorry the baby was asleep and the mum was having a kip! AND Lucy sorry that sounded RUDE, I am glad I watched it, I am used now to being old but I guess what I feel is you are what age you are! If someone said to me at 27 do you want a baby, well yes, I did, but I had no hubby, no home and no job! I think I started trying as quickly as I could. Maybe if I could turn back time I would have started a bit earlier! But that is all in the past!

The good bit was Zita West annalysing people and seeing if they have long to go on their egg reserve. I met her in person at the London fertility show and she was great. She noticed my bloated tummy straight away and asked if I had been scanned! Most people just think I am pregnant!

OP posts:
Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 27/05/2011 23:36

Hi Claralou436 I have one dd, aged 6, conceived through IUI and have been ttc again since she was 9 months old. I'm now waiting for a donor egg so that I can have my final attempt. We had two goes with IUI, the first was with two follicles and no success and the second was with just one follicle and resulted in our dd.

All the best.

Lucy so sorry I did not realise that your IUI was not successful Sad. I hope, really hope that you will get a good result soon. What is the plan for the next step? Please do stay around, if it is helpful to you.

I watched a bit of that programme about too old to be a mum and it was bloody annoying! I mean the basic message was don't leave it too late to have a baby but really it was dreadfully patronising and stupid! So well done those of you who did not bother with the twaddle! I think I have more energy now than I had in my 20s and I stay up later - so yes, it was pretty crap but thanks for suggesting it Lucy for suggesting it, and yes, the lady who adopted was lovely and was a bright spot in the programme (I should say I only watched the second half!). There was a bit where the baby was asleep and the mum was having a kit and the camerman/dad joked 'Are you sleeping because you are 42?' and I thoughht WTF (sorry I don't usually swear as you know!) BUT I am sure any mum to a newborn baby would do what we all get advised to do and sleep when they sleep!

Lissy you go for it girl, your goal, you are going to get there. HUGS.

Rowing how goes it?

Do you all know Signourgey Weaver is over 60, she still looks like she did in Working Girl! I am amazed!

Hugs to all.....Love and hugs and baby dust to all!

OP posts:
lucylookout · 27/05/2011 19:01

Welcome Claralou, nice to have you here. I have just had IUI, it didn't work, so I'm not actually a success story, but italian, who I'm sure will pop along soon is and has a beautiful DD to show for it. My IUI was kind of unlikely to work from the start, but we gave it a pop anyway. I'm now waiting for a consultation to possibly have IVF instead.

I'll hang about this thread though if that's OK with all of you. Having got to know you a bit I want to witness a few more BFPs!

Lissy the show was ok. There was a fair bit of 'women feel young and shiny on the outside when they're 40 but they don't realise how old and wrinkly their ovaries are' blah, blah, blah. Yes, we know all that already and most of us in this position didn't want to leave it this late, it's just how life turned out. However, there were plenty of success stories, including one lady who met her partner when she was about 38, started trying straight away, had no luck so moved onto IVF. Had 9 rounds, including one BFP and then mc before giving up. By now she was late 40s, and she seemed quite sad being interviewed and I was thinking, this is really depressing, poor lady, BUT she didn't give up on her goal to have a family and adopted a Russian baby girl, and she said that now she felt 'complete'. I found that very touching and encouraging and thought about how I was feeling the other day when I said that by hook or by crook I'll have another child, I'm not giving up either. I would have liked to see more on donor eggs. In fact I'm not sure if they mentioned it at all.

Hope AF arrives soon Lissy. I guess after all the drugs there's no predicting when she might arrive?

Wishing everyone a good weekend x

LissySilver · 27/05/2011 10:29

rowing- YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so absolutely delighted for your BFP! I'm sure the spotting is just implantation bleeding. I would definitely phone the clinic for advice and reassurance.

Italian- I agree, I just want to be pregnant so badly! My life won't ever be complete without a child, it is my life goal!

Clara- Welcome to you and your partner! Good luck with your IUI, I hope all goes smoothly. The best advice is to relax and go with the flow. I hope to hear good news from you soon!

lucy- I didn't know that program was on, but I think if I'd watched it it would've made me angry. How was it?

AFM, still waiting for AF....ho hum.

Claralou436 · 26/05/2011 23:41

Hiya,

I'm very new to this, my wife and I had a Civil Partnership in October last year and we are having our first go at IUI next weekend at a Clinic in Europe, we're very excited but a little nervous.

I'm going to carry our first child so feel a lot of responsibility at the moment. Would love to hear some success stories if you have them?

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 23:07

OOpse, Rowing sorry I missed out the question in that post! It was
"Hello. I had my embryo transfer 9 days ago and I just started bleeding like I'm having my period. I have 5 day day to go before my blood test and I just feel really sad and worried.
Anyone out had the same experience?
This is my 1st Ivf, but I have 6 AI. I'm 40 years old. " From 2006 I think! Same old same old.

Hugs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 23:06

Rowing I think I agree with Lucy Googling won't help! But do it if you must. Talk to your clinic if you are worried. Lie down, rest, think positive thoughts! If you must Google try looking at this one

www.medhelp.org/posts/Maternal--Child/bleeding-after-embryo-transfer/show/163259

If you don't want to read it, the first few lines say "hi, are you on progesterone? I more than spotted when I was on that last time. I am pregnant with twins now. My level was low so they increased my dosgage and everyhting is fine. Have you told your clinic? " She goes on to say "We went through it 5 times. The last two times worked. I have 20 month old twins also. It's a rollercoaster ride for sure! I know what you are going through. The days until the preg test just seem to drag and then when the day is finally here you are nervous and scared to hear the results. Hang in there and know that you have support if you need it."

I can't vouch for this post, I just found it with my old friend Mrs Google! Hugs Rowing I am sure it will be fine, I really hope so. All the best, God Bless.

Oh my goodness Londonlottie you are very patient to have put up with all that, I think I would have told your FIL where to sling it long ago (and I am normally very tolerant) but I don't know all the ins and outs and complications. I think that old line that parents used with us 'it's my house, my rules - under my roof' etc would have been well useful!

OP posts:
lucylookout · 26/05/2011 22:21

rowing put your hands in the air and move away from the computer now please.

londonlottie · 26/05/2011 22:08

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rowingboat · 26/05/2011 20:58

Hi all,

Lottie thank you sweetie! How are the girls now? They must be big?

Italian don't think I'll watch that, but let me know what you think. I have seen quite a few programmes of its ilk, can't imagine what they will say that is new.

Keziah keep on going with the physio. So frustrating to be discriminated against, but you will look back and laugh (or do a big angry face) in a few months time.

As for me, still spotting away and not liking it. Wah! Am off to do a bit of googling about it.

londonlottie · 26/05/2011 19:29

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Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 17:47

Oh yes Lucy this is it.

"Too Old to Be a Mum?: Tonight
Madonna, Emma Thompson and Cherie Blair all had babies in their forties - and it seems to be catching on. The number of women having babies in their forties doubled in the last decade, but fertility experts warn that choosing career first and starting a family second is a gamble and may put the health of both mother and baby at risk. Presented by Jonathan Maitland. HD
Today on ITV1 London HD from 7:30pm to 8:00pm
Also: at least 3 repeats.
Too Old to Be a Mum?: Tonight on ITV.com"

I think it will be quite depressing and to be honest I am frustrated with the view that people who have babies in the 40s do so because they have put off having children because of a career. I have been trying to complete my family for about 9 years and when I started I was in my 30s! But I bet I will still watch it!

Hugs to all.

OP posts:
lucylookout · 26/05/2011 15:01

Oh, it's at 7.30 x

lucylookout · 26/05/2011 14:59

I'll post longer later but for those to whom it's relevant there's a programme on itv about women in their 40s having babies. I plan to watch it, hope it's not too depressing!
Italian, I don't think it's greed. We are lucky to have a dc, I thank my stars every day and am full of constant wonder and awe at my ds, and it's just because it's so wonderful and special that I want to experience it again. Who wouldn't!

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2011 13:34

Keziah hang on in there. Sad I feel sure it will get better. Just get well. Be strong.

I did another pregnancy test today, because my period is still missing. It was negative Sad. Really I don't feel sad, just numb. When will it finally dawn on me that I won't get pregnant without help. I so much want it all to be over now. I do want to be pregnant again, I do want a new baby. Photos of DD as a baby regularly appear on our electric photo fame and they so much remind me of how fab she is and how great it was when she was little. I feel OK, I just want to get on with it now. Please pray for me.

I know I am greedy, I have one, and she is fab, I just want it again!

Love and hugs to all. Wink

OP posts:
babybarrister · 26/05/2011 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rowingboat · 26/05/2011 11:06

Hi all,
thank you all for the very kind thoughts and the wishes of boredom and dullness! Grin I do know exactly what you mean. [nodding vigorously]
Very appreciated. I'm not getting ahead of myself here, still have to get that blood test thing where the tell you if it is viable or not. URK! So will make an appointment tomorrow.
Just wondered, did somebody mention a group - (yahoo?) where you could pass on left-over ivf drugs. I have been looking all over the place, or perhaps I imagined it?

Keziahhopes · 26/05/2011 10:45

Rowing huge congratulations for you Smile Smile

Am doing ok, had more physio - am making good progress there. But found out yesterday that ALL the females under 50 in my team are no pregnant or on maternity leave. 2 told me yesterday they were 14 weeks with 2nd babies - obv very pleased for them - but they are due the time I would have been if ICSI worked. And not allowed IVF due to welfare of child issues as I had 4 days in hospital with a physical problem in April.... gah, even physio said I would be ok being pregnant now (not ideal, obviously I would wait until better) but disabled people do get pregnant and don't have forced abortions - it is just I can't get pregnant! So low.

FlipFantasia · 26/05/2011 09:40

Rowing GrinGrinGrin was lurking all day yesterday to see what your news was and am just delighted for you. Wishing you a boring and utterly uneventful pregnancy!

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