TTC after a Miscarriage - Wishing you all more baby dust than is physically possible to type!!

he he, I remeber my mum & dad making a deal once that they would only spend £50 on each other as they were going on holiday the next month. Dad bought mum a fish tank (complete set-up) cost him £500 and mum bought him season ticket for football on skysports (I dunno) cost her £70 (I think) It was really funny watching them opening their presents

No nothing! Can't afford to spend om each other. And we have to say nothing at all, coz if we decide to buy a little something, garenteed one of us will go overboard (me!) and spend too much

awwww nothing at all? Not even something from the pound shop? I was out of work last year so everything df got was from pound shop. I think I oly spent about £20 on him. Felt soooo guilty unwrapping all those presents from him and him only having crappy poundshop things.

I'm going abit mad on him this year to make up for it tho.

Well, that got us all talking didn't it! Nothing like a good debate (not a mass debate you understand )

Not getting DH anything. We don't buy for each other. We would rather spend it on the kids. We haven't exchanged xmas pressies for years

SH - I know you didnt imply it but my first msg did, hence correcting it for those who don't know me and come on and read that.

oh I'm ok there, the only thing I liked that I had to give up was tuna. Which was ok. Everyhing else that they said I could deal with. Although quite like my pate now. I knew I shouldnt have started eating that! LOL

What you bought everyone for xmas?

Sorry... i know change of subject and that....but I didn;t mean it to sound like I thought you delibarately tried to harm your baby ( Of course you wouldn't !!

And 1 more thing, you do have to watch what you eat, hun. The midwives will be the first to tell you that. No pate, no mould rippen/unpasturised cheeses etc, etc...

Never hard feeling SH. Although just to clear it up. I would never drink as soon as I knew in the first 12 wks at least and then I'd prob just have a glass of wine, once in the whole thing. I'm not a drinker normally anyway. I just don't want to cause myself more worry by checking everything I do/eat/drink. But I definatly won't set out to harm the baby I'm carrying. - Thought I should mention that, as after reading what I wrote orginally it looked as tho I said I was gonna drink, smoke and take drugs in my pg which I would never do. Hence giving up smoking 6 months ago instead of trying to do when I know I'm pg. That was hard

But like you've said SH. Theres no hard feeling, just different opinions. So I agree with the change of subject.

Whats everyone buying their DF/P/H's for xmas? Anything expensive?

Sorry Mums. I didn't mean to come across all balshy (sp?) but I feel quite strongly about this. You are right though, it is up to the individual. If anyone choses to drink during pregnancy, then fine, as long as that person is aware that by doing so it can increasse the risk of MC, cause defects of all sorts and cause premature birth, which in itself carries risks.

The next time I fall PG, I want to be safe in the knowledge that I have done all I can to stop that happening.

I'm glad you took all the measures when you found out you were PG, and you are absolutely right in saying you were not to blame for losing your baby. But surely, after going through such a horrid experience, you would do everything in yourpower to try and stop it happening again.

Right! no more on the subject! It is closed

No hard feelings Mumswish? Just differing opinions, eh?

I didnt actually think about it til you mentioned it to be honest Didds not that I'm saying I wouldnt have. I'm ok tho. I just keep saying... house, baby.... family. Then I'm ok. We just weren't prepared for it then(living in flat, crappy paid job), maybe nature realised that and fixed it. (horrible way to put it I know but it kinda, gently makes it the tinyest bit better)

On the snow front. They reckon it will snow this weekend. How cool"?"?"?

hope you're holding up ok mums. keep smiling and think of all the snow we'll be having soon

anyway enough!! Drink or don't drink everyone's choice. I actually fancy a nice glass of white sparkly wine now! You fault SH for saying about your bottles of wine

Diddle: Mine was last year. About this time (I think) I try not to remember too much.

Mumxmaswish - I think women worry about it because it can be so damaging to a baby and when you're trying to conceive, you want your baby to be as healthy and well as possible.

I ahve found an article that outlines some info about it, and I know we all have different opinions and of course we're all here to express them, and mine is that its not worth the risk, if you're actively trying then its not worth drinking anything, but obviously for the people who fall pregnant without consciously trying it is unavoidable.

drinking in pregnancy

you're right, you're miscarriage isn't your fault, and is good that you realise that, it was totally out fo any of our hands and we'll never know what caused them. We need to look to the future.

I understand it, I just worry that all this worrying and checking makes us even more stressed and increases it.

I had a mc 2 but that doesnt mean I will be more careful than I was last time cos I believe (finally) that it wasnt my fault and I did do everything carefully I dont drink (normally) I gave up smoking, I ate heathily, even gave up tuna (my fave butty food) just to make sure but still didnt happen so I'm trying to keep a little calmer and a little more relaxed around all things babies including drinking.

Everyone has their own opinions and I wanted tryin to force mine on anyone just wondered why everyone got so het up about it. (even women who havent mc'd before)

yep i agree carly, so true, we've all had such awful years, its about time it all gets better. gonna be really annoyed if next year goes tits up too.

im with you on the new year and fresh start, i think for me personally this has been one of the worst years ever. things can only get better so they say

can't believe we have had such a naff year. i'll be glad when january comes.

Mumswish - when was your m/c? was it this year or last year? brains getting fuddled?

i understand stockinghanger - totally agree, i was the same wheni was ttc, stayed away from it as much as i could, had the odd drink if we went out, but never over the limit and often i drove so i didn't drink anyway. Its just not worth the risk is it, after all we've been through, its worth trying for a healthy happy baby.

Hello all!

Just had a lovely 2 and a half hour sleep And feel a little bit better no

I wasn't implying that there is a problem in drinking before you know you are PG Mums, just that if you think you could be it isn't exactly "sensible" to then go out and drink 3 bottles of red and 1/2 a bottle of vodka, is it? I have every intention of getting wasted on Saturday, and not worry about it (until the next morning) And remember, after havinghad 1 MC, I would rather do things properly. Yes, you are right, woman who neglect themselves and their unborn baby do go on to have their babies, but after losing a precious little on, I will do everything in my power to stop it happening again. I won't add to the chnaces of losing another baby.

Sorry got a little narked then But I'm sure you understand my concerns..

I've only got a few to buy now as wel to be honest. I did all my xmas shopping on the net tho. As most of the things everyone wanted was specialist stuff (eg: I found a basketball themed chess set for my lovely guy) Everything else I'll be getting from places like woolies (Mp3 Player for him) and Book Shops etc

yep, all the present i've bought have been wrapped as i got them, so i'm totally ready, they just need ribbon putting on before i dish them out, but i didn't want it to get squished while they're all piled up on top of each other.
only got 7 presents to buy now apart from DH.

Wrapping them already diddle? It's not even december yet.

busy entertaining the kids and wrapping xmas pressies mumsxmaswish. haven't stopped today.

Well I'm back from lunch and no-ones been talking! whats going on? This used to be such a chatty thread and now no-one is talking.

Yawn

right girls I'm off for some lunch. Speak to you later.

well it wasnt just alcohol to be honest it was everything i remember having a cold and blowing my nose, smelt the tissue and promptly threw up!!