TTC after a Miscarriage - Wishing you all more baby dust than is physically possible to type!!

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I'm sorry Carly, I really dont know what to say to help you. I still dont understand why they wont give you a scan. When they say a lot of pain what do they mean? (why would you be in a lot of pain if the pg hasnt progressed very far, it would just be like having an af) are they worried about ectopics? or is it just af pain they're worried about?

i took in the tests that i done tuesday and compared to them the line was hardly there and they were both 25miu she did explain that if i hadnt done the early tests i probably wouldnt have even known i was pregnant, and this happens in almost 50% of pregnancies???!!!! then she said to go home as there wasnt anything else i could do until next week (and that is only if im in a lot of pain)

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carly82,
I wish I had told my family about my m/c's. I told them about the first one and never mentioned the others. This was just because my father had died not long b 4 I m/c the first time and my mum was distraught. I suppose I did this to protect her. If you feel that they will be supportive then tell them. It helps when you talk to someone.

I cant believe they're refusing to scan you. How do they know whether your mcing or not? Just cos the line is fainter. What does that mean, it just means that your levels arent very strong. You'd be about 5wks now wouldnt you? So surely something would be there. I went for a dating scan when I was only 6wks and there was a fully formed baby (sorry if that upsets you) you're only 1 wks behind where I Was.

Sorry for ranting carly but I think that it is just shit, How can they not check? Can you get another GP's advice? What about Hospital visit?

O Carly, I'm really sorry, I hope by me saying the stuff I have its not upset you, or anything. I just get confused by the medical proffession.

Just lurking to see how you all are.
Carly- so sorry about what you're going through. Why is life like this?

Wannabump- I've worked in nurseries and schools and I'm amazed at the amount of backstabbing that goes on. Wondered whether you might consider going to Citizens Advice? I really don't think they've got a leg to stand on with all this "no holiday until you've been part-time for a year" cr@p, especially after having worked there for 4 years.

Hope everyone else is well.

Carly im so sorry to hear this. I dont know what to say. Take care xxxxxx

my gp said they wouldnt scan as it was too early and will only scan me in a weeks time if im in severe pain this time the bleeding is much heavier and im still bleeding this morning

Carly - I'm sooooo sorry. Is it a definate mc or could it just be bleeding during the pg? Is there anyway they can tell for certain? Can they not let you have a scan and check for the sac?

I really dont know what else to say, I think you should tell you family, or at least the close ones that you see everyday so they dont think you're just being moody.

Whatever you do, whatever happens, we're all here for you and feel for you. You're a great gal and I really hope everything goes ok for you.

Sheeley I meant she not he (boss).

carly82,
I am so sorry.
Be strong and don't give up. It will happen. I need you guys to be strong with me. We will all be sucessful one day soon. I am sure of it.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Shelley as you already know I have been in the same position as you. There is obviously some weird human pattern here. This happened to me to. I put it down to fear of the unknown. A lot of people will do absolutly anything to avoid the real issue and sometimes are quite harsh and that's when flight behaviour comes into it. The xmas do scenario was probably because the guy was in a position where he was unable to express any sympathy firstly because it was too public and secondly because he did not want to upset you by talking about it. I really don't want to seem harsh but could you have imagined it if he had asked how you were and expressed his sympathies to you infront of everyone. He could have put himself in a very awkward position. A similar thing happened to me on my rtn to work. I asked to speak to my boss alone (I was terrfied, but not as terrified as I am sure he was). I told him exactly how I felt and he apoligised to me. On my first day back, I didn't even see my boss. On my second day, he walked into the office spent 45 minutes talking and joking with others then as he walked past me asked how I was. He didn't even wait to hear a response and just walked on. I felt like shit. I spoke to DH on the phone who told me to leave there and then. I stuck it out and now have a better relationship with my boss.

Shelley, it is so hard but once you have said something to him, he will probably admire you being so gutsy. Why should you let some spur of the moment insensitive comment make you leave a job that you love doing.

One last thing if you have a human resources person within your company speak to them regarding your hours and leave. Ms jobsworth has got her blinkers firmly positioned and has obviuosly swallowed the mannual on what you can and can't do when working part time. MAKE SURE OF YOUR RIGHTS!

I really don't want you to think that I am lecturing you or anything. Though there are similarities in our circumstances we are both different individuals. This is only some freindly advice. Do what you feel is right for you. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

just a quick post this morning, started to bleed again last night quite heavily so this morning i went to gp and when i told her she done a pt and said the line was v v faint and it looked as though i have had an early m/c if i get any severe pain or feel generaly unwell to go back!!! How much more unwell can i be???? i think i am ready to give up now, i cant keep going through this i feel so drained in every way possible, and the worst part is that none of my family know what im going through so i cant tell them why im so low all the time. just have to plaster that smile on my face and pretend that everything is ok . im sorry for waffling on will keep you posted if anything else happens.
Shelley huge hugs to you xxxxx

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wannabump- this sounds awful, i think you should resign. nothing is worth this much stress. you need some time, people should not expect you to jump straight back into it, but they don't really know what you hae been through, they might know the facts but they have no idea how you feel. and they will never understand. this is why all of us are here on mn as we really do understand.

maybe a change of job would be new start, i moved house after i lost my baby at 23 weeks and that really helped me start stepping out into the new path of life.

your health is more important than your job. walk out of your job today tell them to stick it. of course i realise money might be a big issue why you might not beable to do this, but plan b would be go to your drs tell them how you are feeling get yourself signed off sick for a few months, you will get full wages for a while, look for other oportunities and then tell them to stick it!

Sorry i had a little rant there but i hate to see people treated so appallingly.

Shelly thats terrible, how awfull for you. i dont blame you for resigning in, its not a good envoirement for you to be in. A new job and a fresh start will be good for you. Also are they allowed to not pay you holiday pay. Partimers have exactly the same rights as full timers and that year shit is exactly that.Shit. xxxxx

oh shelly that is terrible, i'm not surprised you feel so low, they should be supporting you, and helping you back into your role, you are obviosuly good at your job. I'm sure fi you were feeling stronger then maybe you woudl be able to say all these thinsg to them, about how upset it is making you. I can't believe they are treating you as though you ahve never worked there before regarding benefits etc, surely thats not allowed, have you been off sick, or did you leave then go back? They have obviosuly never been in your position, I think if you see no sign of this getting any easier or them being any nicer then i would find something else. Your healh and wellbeing is so much more important, and if theres ones thing miscarriage has taught me, its how short life can be, and that we need to make the most of it. I hope you sort something out shelly, and we're all here to support you.

firstly shelley, I'm really sorry to hear your feeling this way. I wish I could come and give you a proper hug but I cant so a cyber ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))) will have to do I'm afraid.

Dont hand a resignation in on monday, leave it another week at least, it may just be thats its hard to settle in straight away and feels as though everything is going wrong.

Have you got a HR person in your workplace? if so, go speak to her, explain how your feeling. Tell them everything, if they dont know they cant understand. If you're only working part-time holidays arent a big issue at the moment, try and work past it but dont sign the contract if you want to try and get them later.

Other than that I dont know what else to say Shelley. I just hope that everthing turns out alright for you. Have you looked for a different job in case it doesnt turn out ok? Make sure you've got another job to go to as its a lot easier to get a job when you've got one.

Hi everyone,only just got up....have been absolutly exsausted for the past three days.....oh god,what do i say!!??....well firstly i'm ok 'health' wise,but mentally i'm falling apart
I went back to work for the first time on tuesday,and had been sick with nerves all weekend,all the girls were nice enough,asking how i am,checking if i'm ok etc etc,but the management are something else!!I've never really got on with the director/owner of the company,hes very 'money' orinentated,and if he can get the workers cheaper and for longer,he will.
He came into the nursery on tues and the first thing he said to me is,'ah,michelle,are you attending our christmas do,i need numbers'!!!!...i was like,'oh,um i don't know really',..I was gobsmacked!!!no 'how are you' etc,nothing!!
So i basically got hassle on the first day about stuff happening at christmas,and how i really should go,i don't even think we're doing alot of celebrating this year anyway because of all thats happened.!!!
Wednesday,i wanted to discuss my contract with a lady who works under the director,as she deals with all that....because i'm trying to settle back into work i'm only doing tues-thurs part-time for awhile,then i was going to see if i wanted to carry on doing part-time or go back to full-time later on.
She basically said i'm being put on a part-time contract,that i wouldn't be entitled to holiday until i'd been part-time for atleast a year!!(i've worked for them for nearly 4 years!),and that this month i'd only be paid 2 weeks money because the payroll cut off period for part-time contractors is the 14th of every month!
I was gutted.........in uncontrolable tears
Thursday,i heard from several collegues i work with,trust and have known for a long time,that there had been alot of back stabbing chat going on behind my back,and the new manager who has only really been there a couple of months,hasn't got a clue about people skills,and REALLY can't do her job,i have instantly taken a dislike to,as she shows no sympathy to me atall,she just expects me to be as i was before,and i just can't!!!!I haven't got it in me anymore!!
I couldn't wait to get out of there last night,and again,i was in uncontrollable tears!!!!I feel like there treating me like s**t!!.I'm good at what i do!!I just need abit of time to settle back into it,is that so much to ask!!?
I feel betrayed,heartbroken,and on the verge of a break down,all over a bloody job!!!
I'm going to hand a letter of resignation in on monday,and look else where,i just didn't think they would make it so hard for me to try and return to work!!
What do you all make of it?(sorry i've written an essay!!).x

morning slink. Maybe I shouldnt do the coil then cos I get ridiculously heavy af's so minipill is looking more likely at the mo.

Good luck with your uni deadlines, I was never good with deadlines. I'm abit better here now luckily!

morning all
mumswish - the coil is ok, you can get one with hormones and one without. it does hurt a little when putting in and out and can make AF heavier, so not really good with people who are heavy already. i had a coil for 5 years and it worked well.

my due date came and went and only my sister rang to see how i was bless her, i got extremely pissed. it was september. hang in there maddyd and dids

its been a hectic few weeks for me i am feeling very tired and have uni deadlines every week for the next 6 weeks so mission on! its good to keep busy though.

I could try the mini pill, not sure if they'd give it me tho. I remember something about it when I went to go on the pill the first time, I dont know if they said I couldnt have it. Will look into it. Thanks Maddyd

Mumswish, never used a diaphram thingy, have had coil but i didnt get on with it. For six months though it may be the best option. if you go on the pill for 6 months it may stay in your body for a while. What aboout the mini pii????? You take it constantly with no break and it doesnt have as much hormone stuff in it so will leave your body alot wuicker iyswim. You have to take it at the same time veryday.

Coat hanger id love to pop over but not allowed to do too much on mn as meant to be working also im a bit of worrier and i need fate to let me leave theese ttcing threads when im really really pregnant as in at least 16 weeks.