Charters Anonymous Volume 6. Charting and shagging our way to victory!

oh, I hate when ov happens over the weekend, late nights, lie in's, boozy drinks don't give trustworthy temps. FF reckons I ov'd on CD12 which I don't know whether to believe! Becasue of the SWI, CM wasnt that reliable either!

Had a couple of ov twinges yesterday, and having some this morning too. Or could it just be post ov pain????!! My chart: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2de1f3

Good looking charts everyone!

weimy defo have doubts, but the 'drive' to have kids is stronger. I even doubted so much in the past that I thought I didnt want to become mum at all, as I always thought I would hate it. But I've changed my mind, and all the sacrifices, small break in career included, will be worth it - or maybe I just look at it through Rose tinted glasses . And the teenage years, by the time they hit you, you'll be ready for it! Promise!

I'm one to drive balance by not asking my DH to step in, but by relaxing my own demands and getting help from outside, anything for an easy life me! works for us. DS of a working mum, I've turned out just fine!

Molly - I don't want to tempt fate or whatever, but your chart looks really promising. Especially as the recent pattern is a bit higher than initially post ovulation. FX!!
As for a 36mile hike I'm not sure I could even do 6 miles, never mind 36! That's going to have to be some pretty brisk walking! Hope it's a lovely day for it though and you enjoy :)

Essence - I think your post makes a lot of sense! Thank you!

Well, am supposed to get AF tomorrow, but temps are still really high. Here's my chart. I think I probably ov'd late, though, so there's probably nothing to get excited about! But I'm feeling pretty nauseous, with bad heartburn (which I've NEVER had before), and to top if off, I've agreed to go on a 36-mile hike today [sigh]...

Right, one final comment on this and that is just to say that I hope my post didn't come across as a working mum being the best/only way. It's not and I have upmost respect for SAHMs as I think it is one of the most difficult and unrecognised roles. What I shared is what works best for ms, DS and DH.

Molly - I'm glad it helped and made sense as I literally was falling asleep as I typed that! I know it sounds really selfish but for me, it works better. Ideally I would only work 2 or 3 days but my career would disappear then and we would struggle financially. DS goes to nursery 4 days and he loves it. He doesn't cry when I drop him off or pick him up but he comes running to me with open arms when I pick him up and then turns round to say goodbye to his friends/carers. I'm really happy with the nursery. If I wasn't, it'd make things 10 times worse.
We get all day Wednesday together outside of weekend time and we have great fun on those days - I rarely do any housework!
DH does help around the house - he does most of the ironing, all the DIY and gardening bits and some of the cooking. In the early weeks, most DHs do feel a bit of a spare part though as the baby really does just want mum - especially if you are BF.

Right enough of all that as this is a ttc thread! (Although I guess that is talk about our ultimate goal!)
I'm 6dpo here and already imagining all sorts of symptoms!

Hope everyone else is doing ok today and not suffering too much from losing an hour!

Essence - it's really interesting to hear you saying that you need to spend some time being focused on something other than DS, so you feel your time with him is more valuable. I'm so glad to hear you say that! I nearly got into an argument with a friend earlier in the week who said that she thought mums absolutely shouldn't work until the child was at least 5 years old (she doesn't have any children herself), and that women couldn't have it all and shouldn't try to. I don't have any DC myself (yet!), but at the moment I'm the main salary earner for DP and myself, and that's not likely to change in the near future: basically I won't really have a choice about going back to work after maternity leave. What my friend said made me feel so guilty about thinking about having children when I wouldn't be able to be at home all the time after maternity leave ends - but it's so reassuring to hear you say that you feel your professional identity helps you be a better parent. Thank you!

Weimy - It's so lovely that you and DH are such a good team! I think DP and I are too, really; but I'm much more obsessive about cleanliness and the state of the house than he is. I don't think he really notices when floors need mopping, or fridges need cleaning! I think that when we have kids both of us will need to compromise a bit - he'll need to do a bit more housework, but I'll also really need to chill out, and not care so much if he cleans haphazardly. Oh dear, I sound like a neurotic b!

Interesting discussion about worries and doubts. Before DS we were ttc for 18mo but I still sometimes wondered if we would cope. We did cope (obviously) and I wouldn't' have changed any of it but the first 12wks especially were tough. DS just wanted to feed the whole time and didn't want to sleep...ever...! That was just 12weeks though out of the many wonderful years (well nearly 2 so far, but many more to come :) )

Now we're ttc#2, I wonder how I would cope with 2 of them, especially as I normally do bedtime on my own during the week as DH isn't back from work. However I reassure myself that there are plenty of families that do cope very well and so surely we can't be any different!

I work all day Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri and Sat mornings. This is more than I wanted to do when I went back from mat leave but I could only have done less if I'd stepped down from my management role and I do enjoy the job that I do. I also believe that having some time when I can focus on something else completely, other than DS, means that I ensure the time DS and I do get is maximised to the full and I believe I am a better parent if I do try and get some time seperate to DS

Sorry, I'm falling asleep now! Apologies if if I don't quite make sense!

lol jaggy I spent so long writing my post I didn't see yours till after I posted.

You've hit the nail on the head tho I'm worrying about the teenage years mostly, jeez I'm not even updiffed yet (hits self with one of DH's smelly socks!). :)

molly I don't know if I have a career as such, I don't want to be promoted or run a dept I just want to teach the subject I love and be creative. So I think as long as I stay up to date upon my subject knowledge a break would not affect me in the same way. It's difficult isn't it?

Reading the article was interesting as I think things would be fairly equal between DH and I, as they generally are now. We are very much a team I think, as in I do the jobs I enjoy doing and he does the ones I don't like. In fact DH, because of nieces and nephews, has a lot of experience with children. I do think that we might disagree over how things should be done tho and consistency (we do that over the dogs).

I worry about what would happen if I made a naughty, rude one who eventually grew up to walk around with his hands down his pants and was lazy or wore jogging pants even tho he wasn't doing a sport, or a girl who had no expectations of herself, smoked and wore lots of orange make up. I worry that my expectations are too high and that I have a temper. I'm not being flipant I seriously worry about these things I think it comes from being a teacher.

don't worry weimy your toddler might be perfect like mine

ok that's a slight exaggeration, but I've met a lot more lovely babies and toddlers at DS's various groups than 'bad' ones. the ones misbehaving are usually just trying to attract their mummy's attention while she has a cuppa and blethers IME! In fact all the babies are lovely as they mostly sit and look cute.

lets just pretend he won't grow into a big grumpy teenager.

it does change your life, it's different for me i suppose, as i definitely have a job not a career. i earn enough to get by and have zero management ambition in my line of work. happy playing in the lab with plenty meetings already!

Weimy Yes, I do have doubts. But they're mostly worries about what having children will do to my career, rather than doubts about whether I want children. My career's at the point where it's just taking off, and to maintain its momentum (in an ideal world) I'd need to stay as focused and work-oriented as I have been over the last 8 years or so. So the career break that comes from maternity leave, but more importantly, the complete change of priorities that children will introduce into my life, will inevitably completely alter my career trajectory. This doesn't make me want children any less, though, and I'm also 31, in a relationship I feel totally happy and secure in, and I don't want to leave it any longer. But it definitely feels like my desire for children pulls me in one direction, and my career plans pull me in another - and I'm sure I'll have no regrets when/if children come along, but it will also be life-changing to a degree that it's probably difficult for me to envisage now. (There is a fantastic article in today's Guardian, which really articulates a lot of the worries I've had about children and how it might affect my life and relationship.)

Auntied that sucks :(

Oh newgolden I'm sorry :(

twizzle that's a very attractive chart!!!

Ok, this is a big question, do any of you have doubts or are you absolutely sure? . Every so often I see toddlers/infants/teens and the way they behave terrifies me.

I have been into town today shopping and it has all made me panic a bit.

Oops not sure how that happened but thanks Molly

I went and got a copy of TCOYF from our local library. Have read a fair bit of it now and I am not sure I haven learnt anything knew. Thing FF is pretty good for providing info.

Have to admit it made me laugh though as my DH had a look at it and commented 'That woman is obsessed with cervical mucus'. He isn't wrong.

Excellent looking chart, fancy some of those cupcakes!

Twizzlestix - I think the link might be wrong. Do you mean this link instead?

Hi guys, just a quick drop in from me will catch up with all the news later. Am so it's the weekend!! This weeks been a killer, am off to shop til DH drops but here's my chart

Sorry to those at the start of a new cycle will be with you soon.

Got my cross hairs. It is good to see them but no swi for miles around that time which is frustrating after the 8 days in a row earlier on in the cycle. So technically I am 3dpo but really thought I was actually due to see af this weekend with my cycles being 24-25 days. Haven't had the 2-3 days of spotting YET so I guess it looks like FF is right and that it still may be anovulatory anyway or maybe just delayed ovulation due to the stress of waiting for results.

Morning all!

NewGold - sorry ERTD got you

Scrummy - I like your thinking! I'm 4dpo and trying to stop myself symptom spotting already!

AuntieD - that's just ridiculous that they can't give youyour test results!

Molly - I've heard great things about TCOYF but not seen a copy. If I don't get my BFP this month, maybe I'll have to invest.

No real plans for the wkend except work this morning. Hope you'll have a good one :)

newgold sorry AF got you . Let's hope with the illness out of the way, there'll be plenty SWI for you this month!

Molly I felt exactly the same way when I read the book. I've been ok on the 'milder' combined pill, but I still wished I'd known all that stuff beforehand. It is MY body after all.

auntied have a on me. Sending lots of (((hugs))) too! You must be going mad by now. If ever there was a way we could make the results come quicker for you!

weimy my temps seem to be that high on LP, so can't read too much into it, but figured that if I can tell myself that I AM pg, then I can relax in the 2WW and avoid any symptom spotting. Let's see if it works.

Happy weekend to everyone
Hope you've all got nice plans to keep you busy

Sorry weimy.

Ive now joined you, AF showed this morning so its onto CD1 and cycle 10.

Thanks jaggy - that's really helpful! I bought TCOYF today too, which seems an excellent guide to charting. Having just read the introduction, I feel really angry that for years I've struggled with contraceptive methods that just didn't suit me at all (the combined pill gave me dreadful migraines for 9 years; the progesterone-only pill killed my libido; the mirena coil gave me severe painful cramping on a daily basis), and was repeatedly warned off the Fertility Awareness Method of contraception by GPs who seemed certain it "didn't work". But, now that I've been charting for around 2 months, I've realised it's actually dead easy, and it seems eminently sensible to me for women to properly get to know their own cycles of fertility - it clearly is a viable method of family planning, despite what various GPs have said. Sorry, rant over!

sulk still no results.

I would have said CD16 at first glance Molly, especially by CM pattern too.

Could it be a 'fallback rise' pattern?

www.fertilityfriend.com/HelpCenter/FFBook/ff_patterns.html

scroll down a bit on the above page to 'Variations...'

www.fertilityfriend.com/courses/lesson.php?p=1;16;0;0

Some illustrations in the above lesson.

Yeah, I am at work and should be doing something more productive again.