We're not cheap but sore bits are on special this week.

Lou, you don't have to speak to him! I would have thought you would know how to make babies by now What's he done/not done?

You have to be speaking to your "D"H to TTC. So that will be an absolute no then.

I think that was Lou but whoever it was was going too quickly!

[Snogs FG and runs out again....].

FaaiiiiiirryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyGGGGGGGGG

Helllllooooooooooooooooo

Big Snog!

I am pleased someone has been very drunk, we have looked under most of the bushes in the park, but we obviously didn't look under the one you had fallen under!

Sorry to hear about the 7 week cycle and bad RTD But glad you have crawled out from under your shrubbery!

Umbongo the consultant told me on my due date that my cervix was firmly closed (she said it was stubborn) and booked me for an induction and said I would most likely have a c section. Three days later my waters broke after a very long walk.

Dd1 was two weeks late and I was induced so I believed the consultant.

You need to lend a fan dangled phone so you can do a live birth Fred!

Fairy come back, nothing you say will upset us, we are all here for you good and bad.

Yup we are going to ask you all the time "Where is baby 5alive? Until you get bored of us and start hanging out at the bus shelter where the chavs are much quieter.

I am worried about young Fairy too. I hope she is ok and not too down in the dumps. If she is she needs to come to the park.

Still here, Lemony don't be so impatient! Am only 2 days over, and fully expect to go to full term (42 weeks!) or very nearly!

Do you need a daily "Still here" message?

I won't be able to update you in hospital cos I don't have a clever phone (don't want one either!) so when I do go in you will hear as soon as I get home

I hope FairyG isn't hiding cos of my bump. She has been missing for nearly a month. [worried]

Have just seen the St Georges day and wanted to use it so Happy St Georges day everyone Odd how everyone celebrates St Patrick and not St George whether you are Irish or not!

Umbongo are you in labour or have you had bongo baby? If not then what's your excuse for not keeping us updated?

Fairy hope you are ok.

Lou are your bowels back to normal? You don't have any secrets with kids, they make sure every one knows your business especially if it's embarrassing.

Um haven't you had your baby yet?

Well that is just slack I tell you.

Nice of your ds to tell your brothers Lou I hope you are feeling better and your ds has not told too many others (and your brothers have not felt the need to tell everyone!)

(Still here by the way!)

This will make you all laugh.

The other day I had an upset tummy and didn't make it home before it emptied itself... DS shouted at the top of his voice "Mummy did you have an accident?" He then proceeded to tell my brothers that "My mummy did a poo in her pants!!!!".

That stopped any signs of broodiness.

Lemony how's Jeffrey? Has she said anything funny recently? She must have done.

Or "Thank you for calling the umbongo house. I am still pregnant so stop phoning."

DS told everyone at nursery I had a fat tummy and exposed it to the other parents waiting. Cheers matey.

Smartypants Lou! Ds was 13 days late so I am not holding my breath!

I may have to change my answerphone message to something along the lines of "Thankyou for calling the Bongo house, there are still 3 people in this family, if you have any other questions please leave a message"

When you are that late the only amusement you have left is frightening shop assistants by saying "last week" when they ask when you are due!

I can't believe someone told you you had a fat face Lemony I like your t-shirt though. If I EVER do this again I will get one. (not that I am going to)

See if you have early babies you never have that problem.

Just saying.

I hope Fairy didn't get really drunk down the park and forgot the way home or fell in to a bush and can't get out!

Umbongo I was two weeks late with dd1 and went out for the weekly shop, couldn't trust dh with a list, when I said I was overdue the checkout lady was shocked I had left the house.

Someone told me I had a neat bump but a fat face!

Your t-shirt should be simple and to the point

                            STILL WAITING
                            
                            A BABY

                            BOG OFF <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Smile" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/smile-iCO8d7ST.png">

You should have a text message that says the same and just text it to everyone each morning so you don't get everyone texting and phoning all day. It really annoyed me as I would just get comfy and start falling asleep and some bugger would ring with some helpful advice on how to get things started.

FairyG can't still be on holiday? Hope she is Ok.

Where can you get a t-shirt printed. I want one with
"No I haven't had it yet
It's due on Saturday
No I don't know what it is. (I am fairly certain it's a baby human)
Next person to tell me I look neat may be harmed physically"

So, no takers for a return to SWI then? Can't say I want a re-run of the last 3 years.

[Passes Lemony the turkey baster].

FG are you ok?

I would love love love another baby but sex is required, unless we get the turkey baster out from the back of the cupboard!

Plus the extreme morning sickness and toddler nappies are not a good mix (sick face)

Umbongo not long now (envious squeal), mini muffin is nearly fifteen months and is at that so cute and funny stage with a few temper tantrums thrown in ,I love this stage but really miss the tiny baby stage where they are still new and you are just getting to know them (sob) they will soon be grown up and leaving home.

Dd1 is nearly nine and at the annoying stage of nothing I say or do is right or good enough, but she did say she would love another sister!

That requires having sex. So no more babies for me!!!

Lou wants a baby! Lou wants a baby! Lou wants a baby!

Bless your DS. I managed to keep mine away from the MW.

I might be broody. DH is pissing me off so probably will stay at 2. But part of me would love another tiny baby. Foolish.

Oh, and also trying to drink Raspberry leaf tea ( with honey in) [Bleargh emoticon]

MIL had a lovely time at MW this morning, as did ds, he pumped the blood pressure thing up and helped MW with the sticker in the notes, squirted the jelly onto the heartbeat monitor thing and just as we were about to leave was even allowed to play with the up/down controls for the bed/couch! She said she doesn't usually allow children to play with the bed controls but as he had been such a help!!!!

Everything normal, wee, blood pressure, size of bump, not quite 3/5ths engaged of head, so not heading for an early baby - nothing I didn't already know, but always nice to hear it from the professional.