Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

Morning Lovelies. It's Valentine's day here, so Mwah, mwah, kiss, kiss, hug, hug for everyone. I don't usually give a damn about Valentine's, but today I'm making a big effort. I'll make a really yummy dinner, with dessert and have bought a very nice bottle of wine for DH. Hopefully will get him in the mood.I think today might be O day, I got a + OPK yesterday, but temp didn't go up yet, so I'm thinking today.

Curly, I don't think the fish Oil will do you any harm at all with TTC. In fact it is probably really good for it. I guess you could start with maybe 5 capsules, spread out over the day? I usually take two with dinner. I find they have really helped with AF cramps.I think the acupuncture also helps with that. I used to have to take meds for the pain, but since taking the oil and having acupuncture I haven't had any trouble with cramps.

Have you thought about acupuncture? I'm sure that it could help with depression too, and is great for fertility.

Louise, I can see how excited you are about the smiley face! I'm sure all your efforts will pay off and you'll get pregnant soon. I actually think we all will, that although it may take longer for the golden egg, we'll get there eventually. Of course I feel optimistic right now, give me a couple of weeks and we'll see how I am then!

Jolls, how are you doing?
Deige, how much longer with the marking?
Hippy, your move to IOW is exciting.
Italian, what's going on?

Sorry not to give personals to everyone, I just can't keep up!

I'm back to work today, but it isn't like a real job. I only do two hours of tutoring. It is a great job because my DH can mind Charlie as it is after school hours and he's a teacher. I also get paid rather well for a cruisy job with hardly any preparation and no marking at all!

Have a lovely Valentine's day - hope it is filled with L-O-V-E.[pumping heart emoticon]

Evening all.

Thank you for your welcome!
Louisesh AS is Aspergers Syndrome, a very high functioning form of autism. Ds2 is 6 and as much as I would love a little brother or sister for him I do worry as he has terrible meltdowns that can seemingly come out of nowhere, he struggles with empathy and I am currently fighting so hard to get him help at school and to get a dx that I can't believe I'm even considering, never mind actively trying, for a new LO!

As to giving out tmi I'm the queen of that, especially after a couple of drinks.

I think I'm CD20 and I don't hold out high hopes for this month. We were quite impressive there for the first week but somehow life gets in the way when it counts and we haven't had swi since. Dh has just asked if he should drink tonight....things could be looking up!

Will post in a less self obsessed way next time.

Btw very happy to see Gum back! and I'm glad I'm not the only newbie on the block, much less scary!

Oh forgot to say : Welcome back Gum ....Lovely to "see" you again.XXXXX Good luck with swi.Glad you got stuff sorted with your dh.

Curly you sound a bit brighter.Good

Much where are you??? Still swi'ng!!!!! [not swinging but SWI ng!!!]

Wonder if Italian is swi also???

Hi to everyone hope all are well.

Nicole hope you "enjoyed" the gym.You ve done well i ve not been since monday.Couldn 't be bothered.

Good news here; I ve got a smiley face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEH1!!!

Cd11 so to continue on ems plan back to it tonight,Mon and Tuesday.Wed off then Thursday.Trying not to be desperate about wanting to be pg again asap and know it's only 4 months since Georgie but its all i m bothered about ,all i want.I want it so much.Think returning to the ward on Thurs has upset me again.It's lovely to see all the midwives again but i m sick of doing things to "commerate" Georgie instead of having her here with us alive and kicking. xxxx

Hi there. Sorry BB I did a very flippant post when i got in last night and realised that I hadn't mentioned your worries about Ashermans at all. I'm sorry to hear you think that might be your problem. I had only briefly heard of it before but have been having a quick look now. I think you need to be very well prepared for your appointment with lots of info printed off and go there determined not to be fobbed off. When I first had the coil removed and my LP was short I went to the docs about Luteal Phase Defect and even my lovely GP had never heard of it. BUT because I had printed everything off she took the time to read it all. Be strong when you go, matey. remember we are mature sensible women (we just don't always act that way ). All the best.

Likewise curly I didn't mention your depression last night either, sorry. It's very difficult to know sometimes where feeling very down ends and depression begins. MY DH has suffered from depression on and off throughout our relationship so I can spot HIS a mile off. You've had a tough time these last couple of years, an MC, wanting more children and most recently you thought you might be preggers and then had all that disappointment. As women we are bloody martyrs to our hormones. (when my AF came this time I wasn't even upset about not being pregnant, I was very excited about the move and was feeling great - then AF arrived and along with that came a progesterone drop and I felt myself deflate and I knew it was a purely chemically induces sadness cos there was no other reason to be so flat).

I think you need to find a sympathetic doctor and have a good chat (and cry) with her and see what she thinks. I agree with the others that it would be good if you could find a natural way of dealing with it rather than prescribed meds. Thinking of you my little curly top. X

Morning!

Gum lovely to see you back, with your renewed hope.

Welcome to the newbies, hopefully reading your posts will encourage other lurkers to show themselves!! Lolfactor Congratulations to you

Curly so sorry you are feeling low. Have you thought about natural remedies? Exercise and diet can help aswell as offloading and not carrying all your thoughts yourself. It's horrible when you know you could just burst into tears at any given moment. We've all done it though, and in front of people we'd rather not!

Hippy I havn't forgotton your message, off to do your reply now! I feel like Kirsty, just need 'my phil' to boss around! So exciting and it's not even me moving!

Big wave to everyone and a shorter post from me this morning. I'm on CD3 and really tired at the moment. I've started eating crap again the last few days, so only myself to blame. Busy day today and off to the gym to get rid of some guilt.

Happy Sunday everybody

gum so glad your back - whoop whoop!

jolls that was my joke about the buses

diege good to see you again, matey.

Hello to all new people - i'm sure you'll be telling us all intimate details about your sex lives real soon

Well i've been out tonight and had so am now home and having a .

CD7 for me but have started SWI already - I am gonna try very hard this month. We should get loads of BFP's this month - thanks to the SMEP.

lolfactor congrats on the BFP - 1 day at a time is the only way to approach early pregnancy - all the very best, my dear .

Hello and nice to meet newbies!
Yes it is me - gumblossom- with a new name and renewed hope.

Too cut a long story short, DH and I had it out the other night, a very long conversation, and it was revealed that he is so worried that I might have another miscarriage and be even more devastated, so is very reluctant. Bless him - he just cares so much about me. I told him I know it might happen again, but I would rather give it a go, than not.I just have to.

So SWI has been at Gum's house and I think today is O day, so we'd better give it another go. Even if he changes his mind again, we've had sex at the fertile time, so I'm in the running for this month. It's such a relief.

It doesn't erase my sadness about losing our LO, but at least I feel "hopeful", which is better than feeling hopeless.

Curly, I'm sorry you are feeling down, I hope you can get some help. I had PND with my first and I do know how dark things can be. My midwife suggested up to 10 capsules of fish oil a day (1000mg each) for depression.Apparently it works as well as antidepressants.

Will catch up again later.Have a and a on me!

Hi Lambskin welcome .Whats "AS" ? XX

Hi Jenbe again , welcome XXX

Get to it Diege go girl!!!! You know you want to!!!!!

Jolls you sound better....good.

It's so good to hear you've all managed to keep a sense of humour - thanks for making me laugh! I'm absolutely sure that's what's been different this month. I got the f**kits; I drank (finally - YES!), laughed a lot, and almost accepted that it wasn't going to 'be'. And maybe it won't be. But it definitely seems to be helping at the moment.

I had kids really young - started at 22. I've got 2 boys (22 and 18) and dd of 14. Then I got divorced, and met someone 6 years younger than me. The good news is, he has a lovely 4 year-old. The bad news is, he's been known to cry himself to sleep at the thought of not having another. Which is so sad. And not helpful when you're 42-44. I just feel I've been catapulted into menopause territory when I thought I had years left.

Your posts have kept me sane. Truly! That, and my Cherie poster. Your stories?

oooo, lovely fresh blood...! Hippy'll be delighted, new peeps to laugh at her hilarious and totally original jokes .

So I'll kick off with one. New posters on the 40+ thread are like buses, you wait ages for one and THREE come along at once... . Welcome lolfactor, jenbe and lambskin. Look forward to hearing more from you and more of your personal details that you currently have no intention of sharing but within a week or two you'll have shed all inhibitions.

lolfactor you must be feeling totally freaked!! We can hold your hand all you like, I have all crossed that all works out for you. Chant Cherie Blair, Cherie Blair in moments of self-doubt.

Anyway am dashing off to finish chores - I'll pop back later if I get all done.

Big squeeze for all x

Hello all,
Another first time poster.. Also totally in awe of the courage and support on this thread, what an amazing lot you are!
I'm 40, TTC since last summer, have DD - nearly 3, terrified of getting pg but really want to!
Curly - I got post natal depression and took a supplement called 5HTP which pretty much saved me! It's a herbal thing, not addictive and no side effects, can't recommend it enough.
So glad I found this thread, been feeling a bit wobbly, nice to know I'm not alone in the Fab 40's!!

Hello all! A bit as I've been lurking for a while and although I am ttc and 40, you all seem to have been through so much and I am in the incredibly privileged position of never having suffered a mc or stillbirth so I was too shy before! I have 2 ds, ds 2 is being assessed for AS so I've been posting on the SN threads before now. You all seem lovely and I'm in awe of the work you put into getting pregnant. Because of ds2 I'm still thinking 'oh shit' about getting a BFP as much as a BFN! Is that weird? Anyway have to go - can't do this very often!

Will post again now I've lost my ttc thread virginity!

ooh Louise you've got it out of the way . I have it all to look forward to tonight, and not even a glimmer of a second line on my opk. Dh has agreed to sme this month after me saying you ot were all ging to be at it. With our synchronised cycles we'll produce enough energy to run the National Grid I need to book a smear for next mth, so if not successful I'll then have to take a mth off (have v.dodgy smear history and would need op if bad result - not great in pregnancy).
Hi Lolfactor and many congrats! I'm sure we'll all want to interrogate you about the ins and outs so to speak. For now, enojoy that line!

Hi all..

Panashe thanks.I hear many stories of people concieving after stillbirth so this gives me hope and now thats all ive got.Georgie WILL not be in vain and thats partly how i feel if we were to give up now.Won t anyway as we ve no other children.

*JollS you sound a bit better?

Diege SNAP....cd10 here also.swi done already today....give me a gold star!!!!!

BB hi you ok???

Welcome lolfactor congrats.FX for you....Is it your first? XX

mmmmm................the booze was good yes we definatly need more1!!! chin chin!!!!!

As i say cd10 here no smiley face as of yet but we re "hard" at "ye oldie ems plan" so no worries this month!!!!

Who am i trying to kid......

Sorry - for those of you who AREN't psychic...

I've been addicted to ttc threads for the last year. Finally, I've got a BFP - I'm 44, going to be 45 next month.

It's very very early days (13 dpo) - and I know the possible heartaches that could come. For now, though, I'm just sitting here kissing the blue line and thanking whoever that we had a chance to see what one looks like.

Is there anyone else out there who could keep me company while I sweat this out?

Thank you SameOldJollster! Didn't want to gatecrash. Sitting here with large cup of tea, terrified. I want this to be a success story - but I know statistically it might not be. I've spent the last year searching for good news stories, so thought I'd post straight away just in case there are other addicts out there who need to hear something positive.

I'll join you on your quest for health BB! I have relapsed over the last few days with the work pressures, but have been feeling so much better going to the gym and eating healthily. How are is the 'shredder' going?Jolls do you actually have geese? Was chased down the school footpath by 2 as a child and have never forgotten their hissy anger.
Panashe. I am 40, 41 in May this year. Did you say your age? How old are your LOs? . I ma taking the ac and vit B for a short luteal phase which I've read can contribute to early mc/fertility problems. Hadn;t heard ac could have such effects
Dh has taken dcs to supermarket, so that I can work so had better get off here just in case he gets back early

hi all. curly would agree with others that you sound depressed. Do you think it is worth going to the drs? Alternatively I suppose you could try things like exercise, healthy eating etc which are meant to boost seratonin (or summat!). anyway, this time of year is pretty bleak I think.

Like jolls I also feel that I am as well (and my dh thinks I am), but often I just think I just feel sad not depressed. anyway, have drunk alcohol this week and it definitely has a depressant effect on me, and that along with a few late nights has made me feel a bit rubbish. I am going to try to eat healthily, have no alcohol and have some early nights, see how that makes me feel.

Lovely day here now, I am going to go out and get some sun (if I can drag the dcs away from the wii that is!).

morning all

good q panashe, I think in reality of course there are less women TTC in their 40s. But there are more on other threads on MN that I hear talk about getting pg in their forties, they've just not found us here, or not wanted/needed to share their TTC journey perhaps?

Good news diege on scripts, boo on having to work proper job this weekend though :(.

Right must shake a leg and get out into the sunshine, there are squirrels to chase and geese to feed. x

Hello Diege, nice to meet you, another mum of four :) Sorry about your mc, do you mind me asking how old you are ? I have heard B6 is good and noticed it in my Alpen, I like marmite on toast and am sure that is full of B vitamins.

Had agnus castus once and thought I was going to die - it gave me the most horrendous stomach cramps I've never had. This was years ago and I think was something I read in a book that it was good for pms ??

Is this just a small group, or the reality that not many ttc over 40 ?

Hello! Hope you all enjopyed your bistro meals last night - Louise's booze order cleared out supplies though, so must order some in if we're having a mid-week one again.
Panache I don't think I've said hello? I've also got 4 dcs so am in the greedy club. Had an early (7 weeks) mc 3 mths ago, and a mmc 2008 before ds was born (dc4). Have been trying 9 mths now, having formally got pregnant after 1 to 5 mths trying with the dcs. Temping, doing opks, and taking agnus castus and this mth vit B6 (thanks for info btw BB - do you know the rationale for stopping taking after ov?). Feb also a sad mth for me (as for many on here) as due date for mmc was Feb 13th.
Anyway, on a happier note only 85 scripts left, though am having to work solidly through the weekend as behind now on 'real' job. Cd 10 I think, and not pos opk, but have promised dh tonght, so I suppose am reluctantly in vest and pants phase
Love to all I will try and keep up a bit more now that the immediate marking pressure is off.

Morning

Hope you all ok...I am sat in bed on laptop feeling a little guilty as dp gone off to do long shift. We just had a couple of nights in Manchester in nice hotel, relaxing.I find it hard to act 'fine' around the children all the time so it was good to have some time out.
I did a pt this morning and think it one of the few times in my life I wanted it to be negative, and it was :) So at least I know if I do one in two weeks then I will get true result. Not going to stress too much this month, just hope af returns when expected.

BeattieBow know what you mean about name changes,have done a couple of times, my exdh found me when I was posting about our break up a few years ago. I guess I am being greedy like you as I had 4dc with exdh ages 12-19.And also never had problem with conceiving etc so my mc was very unexpected and felt like my body was letting me down. I know you mentioned Ashermans, don't know anything about it, and that you have had other tests,suppose when you haven't had problems before you start to think there must now be something wrong but it just could be a waiting for a good egg game.

SameOld Hope you are feeling better, and that you may be preparing to test next week??
I admire your strength to keep going, in my head I have thought if this happens two more times then I would have to stop. I truely hope you get your 'golden' egg :)

Hello CurlyLox I hope you are feeling a little brighter today. Just the thought of the days getting longer makes a difference to my mood, just makes me feel more positive. Your cycle took a long time to get back to normal but hopefully it is now. did you have a natural mc ?

louisesh Am sat here struggling to find words which is crap I know. I am just so very sorry for you.My friend had twins that were born sleeping but there were genetic reasons. She went on to have two sons and the boys know they had two other brothers and her Dad wrote a beautiful poem which is framed and on the wall with their pictures. Your circumstances must be unbearably hard and the constant 'what ifs' must plague you. You sound like you are very open about your experience, and that you got wonderful care from your hospital.xxx

hippy am sorry about your mc, but I do hope that you keep on trying, although I imagine it must get harder.I guess realistically we know that chances of mc are higher I was told that 2 weeks ago at epu,but we also know that it can happen and does happen, and if we strong and patient enough it will happen :) Your shocked faces at your age made me laugh

hello to everyone else x

Curly is there anyone you can talk to in rl? I hope you can find some help soon to help you feel better.

Hi all.I 'll join you all in the bistro but not to eat just booze please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Already eaten!!!!!

Everyone else ok?

A bit sad tonight been to the pub for a couple of cheeky drinks but it just makes me sad to be doing stuff like that when i should/want to be at home with Georgie.My sadness comes up to bite me when i least expect it.Going to bed.Tomorrow is another day XXX