Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

Curly sorry about the funeral. Hope it was OK. The last one I went to was for a lady from my church who I barely knew so it was not too sad, it was actually a service of celebration so not an actual funeral, not so bad. I always feel with older people that it is actually a testament to a long life that they die aged 70, 80 plus or whatever so although sad it is expected thing and a chance for relatives to remember their loved one. Your gran crying sounds appropriate to me, rather than being very sad, if you see what I mean. My Mum has lost touch with a couple of her siblings (pretty much) and that seems very sad to me.

Anyway, sending you hugs.

Hi LOL ((())) hope you re okish???? I read about Jo Brand recently also another woman flying the flag for us older women [though did i ever tell you i m virtually the baby on here!!!!]

Hi Curly yes we re all virtually at the same point now!!!! Today is 9dpo for me.I have had a headache and felt naseaus for the last 2 days but i think its more to do with sorting out my return to work and opening up that whole can of worms than anything else.Hope you re ok? X

Tina any more testing? None for me....aren t i good?????

Hi Panashe know what you mean i m so sick of waking up with the dread feeling and heavy feeling about Georgie.You ok?

Hi Italian you ok? X

Where's Much ? she is MIA....

Oh Hopeful big FX for you...what a lovely birthday present indeed that would be????Another 8 dpo er!!!!!

Hi to everyone else Jolls,Hippy,BB and Diege sorry i ve missed anyone oh Nicole

Do any of you read "Heat"? I m having a letter published in it next week yeh!!!!! See what you can do when i ve no work!!!! Basically, I wrote about "posh" complaining she is worried about being fat due to pregnancy and I wrote she should be grateful to be in that position etc......Cue: 2 lovely e mails from "Heat" saying they will publish my letter.So girls you are now in the midst of a "celebrity"!!!!!!It's funny as they used to take the piss out of me at work as i love celebrity gossip and all things superficial and trival and every Monday i got giddy as was nearly "Heat" day so i ve told them all to buy it as i ll be featured.[mind you; not falling out of "china whites" or anywhere like that!!!!]

Hi Panache - woke up this morning feeling pretty much like you described. I'd told my ds (14) and wished I hadn't - she was at home when she heard the anguished shriek from the bathroom when I got the bfn.

This morning I started to bleed at about 9 am - exactly four weeks to the hour from ov pains. Cried; felt better; cried a bit more; then thought, 'Right, thank god it's all got going and I can start to get better.' I'm going to try to get fit. I want to feel well again.

I have mixed feelings about trying again. It would be good to try immediately as I'll still be awash with progesterone, apparently. Sometimes I think, 'of course I can do it.' Especially when I saw Jo Brand on Chatty Man last night saying she had kids at 45. Then I look around the shopping centre at the young mums and think, 'who are you trying to kid, grandma? You've had your day.'

If it wasn't for dp, I wouldn't be thinking of it. I'd love the chance to have another baby but it would stay as a thought - not a challenge. I feel I'm making myself look ridiculous. My mum, ever tactful, said, 'are you sure you were pregnant? It could have been the (whisper) menopause. Silly cow. She really knows how to wind me up.

Soz about needing the antibiotics, tina. Hope they don't wipe you out. Italian I gave all the info you asked for to Diege by mistake - sorry both. Yes, I have 3 kids (teens and a 23 year-old) but Gum this is my first chem preg/mc. The others were all conceived in my 20s, at first try for each one. Those were the days...

curly, Jolls, thanks for your thoughts. You've all been great. Will stick here, if that's ok with you. L x

No Curly my shoulder's are very warm but I must have missed your post! Sorry. How are things going, you don't seem to have posted in last few days or am I being blind!

hi italian thak you for your kind words and I absolutely respect your opinion :-) Lol so sorry about your news, hope things work out soon and gum I am also 8 dpo but not hopeful to be honest - had to have a big dose of antibiotics today for an infection so am actually hoping I'm not preggers lol

Hello lol how are you feeling this morning ? I found waking up each day hard, and the sinking feeling in your stomach that Yes this has happened and not just a dream.

Can't remember if you said you had told your teenagers, I did and still wonder if it was the right thing to do. I do hope that you carry on ttc, I know what you mean without the pressure. I am determined not to get worked up about it but its easy for me to say at moment, I am sure after af I will be counting the days like everyone else.

Morning to everyone else :)

Tina hello, I know you are quite new and I may not have spoken to you before. I tend to post for a few days and then disappear! I'm so sorry you are feeling unhappy about the situation with your hubby. I don't know all the details but I do think you should be confident in yourself, I mean if you can - because confidence tends to make things better. If you are always uncertain then it is not helpful. So please give yourself a hug and a pat on the back and all those other things you are meant to give yourself in difficult situations. He is still with you and you are working at it. My hubby had very few girlfriends when I met him but he has become a very good husband, but it takes time. I have no idea how long you have been married but I just wish you all the best. Life is not about how many boyfriends or partners you have had. If your hubby strayed in the past I?m glad you are working it out. I agree with Beatie that counselling is helpful. I have had lots of counselling for infertility and it helped me. Tina I really wish you all the best. Also, (IGNORE me if you want to) but as a Christian I would say that a spell from a coven is not a good idea at all. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs so I am not trying to tell you what to think but by your own words it sounds like it is not really what you believe but you think it will not do any harm. I think these things are not helpful so although (of course) you can ignore me I would not wear it or use it at all. I really wish you all the best.

BB well done for keeping up with the SMEP, I think I have fallen at the first hurdle in that I do not own any OPK sticks (or whatever they are called!) and also got too tired for sex one day. But it has been about every two days from day 6 so does that kind of count!?

Diege I can't believe you were on the telly. How amazing. I'm limited to having been in the audience of a game show in Singapore!

Muchlove how are you doing sweetie?

Lou all the best, hope you are feeling brighter and better.

Hippy, Gum, Jolls and all, big hugs.

oh Lol, I'm so sorry to hear this.Have you had previous chemicals/miscarriages?I know how sad you are feeling, but don't necessarily give up - it can and does happen to us "oldies".

There must be a few of us at the same stage? Tina and Lou and I - anyone else? I'm 8 dpo today. Fertility friend says if I'm pregnant then Due date is 7th Nov.My birthday is 10th, so it would be the perfect present!

My friend had her baby Sunday night.Don't know any of the details - a boy and a quick birth.Haven't spoken to her - just had a text.I feel so happy for her but a bit robbed myself.Keep thinking "if only I was still pregnant I'd be nearly 18 weeks and looking forward to my babe". I know, I know, I need to stop thinking about what might have been and move on. I am trying!

I have no idea which reality tv show I'd be in. I've hardly watched any of them. I did see one about an English family who bought a house in the country - some designer guy.I think it was called "To the Manor " something or other. Sorry, have bad memory for this stuff. Anyway - wouldn't mind being in that as they had a very nice house and tonnes of money to spend on it. However, I'd hate to be watched all hours by a camera crew. That would be so stressful.

I hope one of us (or all of us!) have good news soon.

diege et al no cramping/spotting just very flat tummy overnight plus sixth sense. The boobs and queasy yum tell me I'm still pregnant. Wonder how long I'll be 'pregnant' before my body realises I'm not. I suspect a while yet.

Lots of yummy crispy duck and wine comfort food. And comedy. We need to laugh. Will try again but without the pressure. I'm hoping this will bring us closer.

Thanks for all your support. Knew I'd need you! X

lol am so sorry. You must be devastated :(

Look after yourself. And keep posting so we know how you're doing x

On god no Lol I'm so sorry for you. Have you had any cramping/spotting at all or was it just a sixth sense you had to test? You must stop torturing yourself too over the woman at dp's work - don't you dare imagine soemthing that just won't happen! Please take care and keep talking - I think pretty much everyone has been through a cp/mc here, sadly xxx

Thanks guys. Felt I was pushing my luck, thinking I'd beaten the odds. Wish my body would Get It. Boobs still throbbing away but no af.

lou after all you'd been through, a chem must have been a real kick. Pan it's a large glass of Shiraz, a 4 yr old step d plus Thumbelina DVD. Life goes on.

Diege I've got 3 kids (23; 18; 14) plus 4 yr old stepdaughter. So, frankly, we're being greedy. Dp really wanted a second child. We parted last year because he couldn't drop the dream, but came back after a few months. Then a couple of 'maybe, oh, not) months and now this. He's trying to be brave but he's desperately sad. He's only 38 (I'm 44) and there's a beautiful bloody Joleen character aged 30 at work who's desperate to settle down and have kids. Both are on the school trip to SA this summer. Makes me v nervous - now even more so.

One day at a time ;-) I know. thanks all x

lolfactor that must be devastating. Hope you get well looked after and be kind to yourself xx

Sorry lolfacter they are shit.I had one 2 months after Georgie at xmas.Much love and hugs to you ((()))

BB yes swi on Sat,Sun and Mon night according to the ems plan,then Tues off 1 last go on Wed night.

I started my al on Sept 4th then went on mat leave on Sept 20th.Started on sick leave at the end of October.So i ve been off just over 6 months altogether.With Georgie i was supposed to return from mat leave on March 7th .i ll be going back on or around 14th March so roughly the same time.Do you not normally work full time?

Oh Tina we re going to run up the national debt buying pg tests!!!!!! I ve got a load of free tests from work but will be purchasing some first response tests on Fri, payday!!!!!

Hi Panashe,Jolls and Curly XXXXX

Realised i d omitted you all earlier!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, sorry everyone. Looks like it was a chemical pregnancy. I woke up this morning and felt absolutely flat stomached and beautiful - ie, totally unlike the last 3 weeks. Did a clearblue digital and got bfn. Sobbed uncontrollably, spent the day in IKEA looking at everyone elses bbs and tried again - bfn.

So, that's a 'no' then. Absolutely gutted. My poor dp. He's being really comforting but I know he's totally gutted. Why am I worrying about apostrophes?

At least I had one last chance to see a positive test. Will try again when I get my sense of perspective back, but I think I'm stuffed. 45 in 3 weeks. Just gutting

Just wanted to say Hello to everyone and thanks for your messages.

Still feeling but watching my 15,13 and 12 year olds playing twister is making me smile ! They found it in the garage, am sure I will be at A&E before the day is out.

louise i did one on day 18 then yesterday on day 19 lol so we're both mental

so I saw the smiley face at around 5 pm on Saturday (did it late because I forgot!) but didn't have one on the clear blue monitor in the morning.

I had a "peak" on the monitor on Sunday and Monday mornings. Do I dtd Sat, Sun, Mon

or Sun, Mon, Tues?

(I don't know why I'm obsessing - I know I'm in action tonight!).

When are you returning to work lou? My boss's partner died last year (they were both early 40s v sad) and she was off for over 3 months. but you shouldn't feel pressured into going back.

Yes, CD18 - mad to do a test then! I have ordered some from amazon which should be here in the next few days - I'm either 0 or 1dpo! will start obsessing at 7dpo I expect.

Am v bored at work today. But on the plus side, I won't come in tomorrow to a million unread emails and stress.

Was reading that other thread about salaries. I am thinking I am in the wrong job.

No signs yet...the odd twinge of back ache i think but i never know wheter i m imagining these signs or not!!!!!

Hi Italian Yes you re right about dh...i know that sometimes he cant do right for doing wrong!!!! I know its displaced anger as mad at the situation and shite we are going through.You sound in a "composed" place now although your office sounds very fertile!!!! Maybe you should sit on the up duffed lady's seats!!!!!!

Tina Hugs (()) XXX Don t worry i m the looser who did a pg test yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!on cd 18 wtf????I m officially a mentalist now.

Hi Diege You re only a couple of days behind me.I m 8 dpo now.

BB you need to swi 3 nights on the trot after seeing a smiley face.

Whats "tool acamedy"????

Had a so so morning.Went to get next sick note for 3 weeks dr cocked it up!!!! Filled it in as i m returning on phased return now for the next 3 weeks!!!! So i ve to return tomorrow for another sick note!!!!!Went to Occ health and saw a lovely nurse.She has agreed for a phased return [not sure wheter 2-3 months yet]she came up with a load of strategies for when i return to work.Said she ll e mail me every week to see how i managing then as soon as i m pg again to see her about helping me again.I m setting up myself for clinical supervision weekly and having a "buddy" to talk to also.She is extending my appt times i get for my patients when i start my lists again from 20 mins to 40 so if i need to take time out and reflect i can.She said , 20 odd years ago,her neighbour had a stillborn child at the same time Liz[the nurse] was pg and this neighbour went on to have 2 children not long afer.

So all in all a productive visit....time for a siesta tired now........

Hi to all Gum,HippY,Lol ,Much and anyone i ve missed!!!!

thanks diege :-)

Morning! A very wet one here. Older girls back after half-term, but dd3 at home as they don't go back til tomorrow. Working from home thankfully, with dd3 on dd2's Bratz doll computer and me on here!
Fertlity friend has been messing with my ovualtion date, putting me back a day which I'm sure is wrong...anyway,no point obsessing. A good result this month for me would be a LP longer than 10 days. I will have to take next month off as have to have smear done, and daren't ttc in case I get abnornmal cells and need surgery (have past history). 6dpo, and only symptom is very vivid dreams, oh and the usual sore boobs...
Tina I don't blame you for having insecurities I suppose there's nothing really you can do other than accept the reassurances and hope that with time you will be able to get your confidence back. Pretty horrid for you though
Italian oh yes, the model show, absolutely . I was on Body Heat years ago (anyone remember that? before Gladiators?) when I was young and fit!
BB hope work's bearable. I know what you mean about feeling ok about no more dcs and then seeing a very pregnant tummy/newborn!
THank for good wishes about marking . Marks electroncially 'sent' so just have gigantic parcel to take to post office now.
Thanks for the Lol. How goes it?
Hi to Hippy (any symptoms to compare yet?), Gum, Muchlove, Panashe, curly, jolls, Nicole, Louise