Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

Ive sort of got my next birthday Aug as my end date, it feels a bit close now. I'm wondering about going to the doc as I haven't got anywhere i'n almost 12 months ttc, but I'm afraid they won't bother as I'm older and already have dc. What's been others' experiences?

I've not heard of a fertility diet, red clover or anything other than a healthy diet and a salty diet for a boy and sweet for a girl. They all sound a bit unlikely.

Lovely cup of tea and chocolate cake.

Hi curlylox and all

My details are:
Shandybass - 40, dd4, two mc and then Dd almost 2, ttc since March 10.

Hope that covers it.

Gum I know how you feel. Not sure what to do either. Donor eggs is a possibility, but I always said if I got to wanting that, I ought to have a decent plan B in case it didn't work out. And I can't think of a bloody plan B.

And I'm ovulating NOW and haven't been able to dtd cos dp running a bloody half marathon to make sure 'life' doesn't get put on hold. havent had sex since Saturday morning, so assuming that's another egg gone. He's way too tired after running today and I'm working till 10 tomorrow. Would it still be possible?

Like the 'liberated' line, Italian. Sounds like you've got a plan b that appeals. I must admit, the chance to lie in on Sunday should never be undervalued.

Bad luck bb hope the other plans come together. Diege and Lou hope you're feeling really sick (grins). May your boobs be perpetually on fire, D.

Hoping Hippy is happy. Love to all. typing on crumby iPhone as laptop broken, so will go and make tea to help me forget. Anyone else want a cup?

SORRY that should be

...decide for ourselves ... not ...decode for ourselves...

and

Not sure if that makes sense but it does to me.

rather than

Not sure if that makes sense but it foes to me.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isaboo hope you find the answers that are right for you. If we are successful this spring with our fertility treatment the age gap will be just over 7 years. It is not at all what I wanted but as DD is our only one we do still really want her to have a sis or a brother if possible. I guess only you know what you feel will work for your family. Sorry Isaboo I know that is not much help but I guess we all need to decode for ourselves what will work. I am coming to the realisation that I may not get another baby and rather than feeling very down about it I am actually feeling quite liberated. I have not stopped trying naturally, although the reality is that it is almost impossible for me to conceive naturally (I think) and we do have one more IVF go with donor eggs to ?look forward to?! Blessings to you.
BB sorry about your BFP. How are things on the schools front?

Muchlove thinking of you.

Louise my dear I am losing the plot, how are you?
Hippy greetings and hugs. How are all your plans going?

Jolls been quiet for a while, how are you?

Alba any news?

Diege all well, I hope?

Gum Hi, how are you? You sound very well at the moment and very posoitive.

Tina, any news?

Panshe how are the plans, picked out your flowers yet?
Lia what are the developments?
Waves and hugs to Tank, Nicole, OooohShiny, Curley, Shandybass and Lol* - Love and baby dust to all.
I am fine. I have not given up hope for a new baby in the next few months (I mean a BFP in the next few months) but if it does not happen by the summer I think we will just have to lay that particular dream down and look into adoption or not as we feel right,

I have edited my local NCT newsletter for the last three years (plus) and I have finally decided to given the committee notice. It is huge step for me. It is a chance to move on. If we get a new baby we will not need to volunteer left right and centre as we have and if no baby then I can move on relatively painlessly. Not sure if that makes sense but it foes to me.

I'm now reading Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! by Lisa Morrone.

It is really brilliant.

bad luck with the BFN Beattie it is particularly cruel when it hangs on like that and you start to think about all the stories you read about "not getting my BFP till I was six weeks pregnant" even though deep down inside you know its not going to happen to you .. still its a brand new shiny cycle and you are wretched symptom spotting free for two weeks.

The age gap worried us too ( ours would be at least 8 years if things work out ) and that there will be stuff that will be more difficult to do with the older ones that we really enjoy at the moment ...not to mention giving up the Sunday morning lie in together that we feel like we have only just got back but that all aside it the kids are always asking about another brother and it would be fantastic for us all if I could just get my body to play the game

gum in theory this is my last month I promised DH I wouldn't let this rule my/our lives ....yep I know now that was pretty unrealistic as ttc is getting me more down every month which affects us all.....saying that I think I might have one more go but have promised myself I will make a real effort to relax more ...in fact I liberated myself from the thermometer yesterday and threw the thing in the bin .... and it was great not fiddling around with the bloody thing in the dark this morning! .....

hi all. gum glad you had a good time. I must admit that I haven't stopped drinking really. not that I do it much - so I don't drink at home at all, but when I go out I don't really hold back!

I have cut down on caffeine though, and generally have 1 cup of caffeine coffee. I saw someone on another thread recommend a fertility diet (can't remember the book) has anyone tried that?

Anyway my turn to get up today! (strange how I got up yesterday too because on dh's turn he brought ds2 and dd1 and 2 into our bed )

we have a birthday party for dd3 today at a local soft play place. not my favourite way to spend the w/e.
gum I haven't actually given myself an end date, but i was thinking today that I didn't want to carry on like this for much longer. I didn't really want a big gap between ds2 and the next one, and if things had gone to plan, it would have been 2.4y. As it is now, it will be nearly 4y.

Sorry about the bfnBeattie. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with your body. We have to ait for that special egg, I suppose. I know it is disheartening to have to keep trying. How long did it take to conceive your other children?

We had no trouble conceiving our first 4.In fact our first and fourth, although wanted weren't exactly planned. If I had O pain, I pretty well knew I could conceive. I got pregnant first try each time.

With Charlie, I was 41 and it took 7 months. It felt like such a long time, but now I realize how lucky I was to have conceived and carried to term. With this last pregnancy it was 6 months trying, but obviously not the golden egg.

I hope you get yours soon.

We had a wonderful time at the wedding. I felt much better and managed to drink about 5 champagnes over the course of the night. I probably shouldn't have.I know it's not good when ttc, but I decided I was just going to enjoy myself. Feeling a bit seedy this morning, but that's mainly due to a late night and early morning.

I'm on another over forties thread on an american site - mothering- and there's also plenty of ups and downs there too. The good news is there are many over 40's getting pregnant and having babies, but it seems at our age there are a few more obstacles - cp's and mc's.

In the end, when we are holding our new borns, it will be worth the struggle, don't you think?

There's a lot of advice on that thread about alternative therapies, and it seems red clover and nettle tea comes up a fair bit. Some herbalists insist red clover is the answer to fertility over 40. However Rowing said she took it last cycle and it screwed things up.Not sure if she drank tea or took sups. Must ask her.

Has anyone else tried it?

I think we might all make it in the end, but it's a matter of time, and whether or not we can hold out for that long, IYKWIM. I think if I just forgot about it, didn't use contraception, then I'd be up-duffed eventually. Just not sure if I want to continue persuing it without an end date...

How do others feel about this? Have you given yourself an "end date" for ttc?

So sorry Beattie that af has arrived especially after a delay. It's such a depressing time and then in a few days time I start to get hopeful again, i don't know of you're the same.

It would help for me if I was speaking to dh civilly. Ah well olive branch out I think!

hi all, sorry I've haven't updated, but nothing exciting i'm afraid! poas yesterday and bfn, so had jabs (ow!) (not good had all children with us, it was horrendous!).

and then af arrived with avengeance today. So cd1 for me and taking clomid tomorrow.

I do feel very cross with my body actually. What on earth is wrong with it? why haven't I got pg for a year? eh? but apart from that, i do feel ok. Went to L today to check out different areas etc.

nicole are you still in this month?

everyone else good luck at the swi and lou and diege I'm so excited for you both!

Perhaps you should form a Fabulous Feisty Forty Somethings Grads thread? I feel sure that someone else will be joining you this month...

Hi all.

I m fine thanks XXXX

Been swimming then chilling.Nothing to report here.

Hope everyone's well ? XXXX

Morning Girls!

Beattie, waiting for an update...

Nothing much happening here. I've been ill, I'm starting to think I may have a fructose intolerance to go along with my gluten intolerance. It really sucks having food intolerances, and hard to work out what is causing the trouble. I'm having all the symptoms I had with the gluten intolerance, but I'm off gluten so it seems it may be that I o.d on fructose. I was given a box of fresh pears last week, so have been having a couple of those everyday, and recently started eating high protein bars which have high fructose. I really can't work out what else it might be.

The timing to feel bad is really awful - we've a wedding to go to today. So this morning we have to shop for new trousers for hubby, I'm meeting an old friend for coffee (make mine herbal tea!), she phoned out of the blue yesterday, so can't turn her down, and having my hair done too. Phew, and have to do all this, get ready for a wedding, when I feel like staying in the feotal position in my bed all day!

I bumped into my friend/neighbour on a walk yesterday, with her new little boy. Of course he's gorgeous, and I'm pleased to say I didn't feel sad or weepy or anything, just glad for her. When she described her lack of sleep, I was quite relieved it was her and not me! However, I've always been like that, when it's my own baby the sleeplessness really doesn't bother me.

I got a pm from Rowingboat, some of the older members on the thread will remember her. She is having assisted conception - she's doing an embryo adoption in the Chezc Republic. She was supposed to do it last month but her cycle was screwy, so next month, I think. I really like the idea of embryo adoption - it's nice to think that those unwanted embryos are given a chance.

I hope you preggie girls aren't stressing too much: "For today you are pregnant"

Hi jollster can I be on your list. Not sure what that means or what I need to do but sounds good.

I've just had a Chinese. Bit of all sorts chicken sweet and sour, beef satay, beef and black bean, and pork chow mein. Yum yum.

Hi Nicole at 6 weeks don t think we ll see much.Pauline [epu sister] said we may well only see a sac and yolk but thats enough to start the pregnanyl injections then they would scan me every 2 weeks.I stopped poas.....

BB did you POAS? Am on tenterhooks...

whilst I'm hanging I fancy Chinese... Wonton Soup, some crispy duck and maybe some squid in black bean ... and then randomly some bread and butter pudding and lashings of cream :)

Evening all.....CM/blood update. It's 10DPO for me of a usual 14 day LP, so nothing should be doing until next wednesday. Today I pressed hard with the Andrex after a wee and got a little brown CM again. Who knows what's going on, but feels like AF will probably come early.

Lou Hope the next 2 weeks go quickly for you and your early scan gives you a positive result/experience. How big is the little bean expected to be by then? Have you really stopped POAS yet?!

Hippy I think you have great taste in property lol! Are you moving to the IOW by any chance!

None of you that have children already are being selfish. The need for a family is a very, very strong one. Whether it be starting out or continuing. It has totally consumed me and I feel so determined that this is what I have to do. I can't imagine suddenly waking up one day and changing my mind.

Diege Hope everything is going well for you. I'd like to place my order at the Bistro please
As it's friday night, please can I have a chicken korma, pilau rice, peshwari naan, 2 poppadums and all the chutneys except lime pickle. I'd like an ice cold cobra beer with that please. Mmmmmmm!

Hello everyone else anyone doing anything exciting this weekend? I'm kicking mine off by watching Come dine with me right now.

love, love xx

I've ordered you homemade merangues with fresh cream for pudding Hippy - the ones that are nice and chewy inside Hope this will do!Hi Tina, nice to hear from you
I'll be having chicken I think, fried American style in spices with homemade chips and lots of brwon sauce. Will have this with lots of ginger beer and will nab one of Hippy's meringues for pudd as I'm sure they'll be one left over.
Bye for now x

lou plodding on is good - plodding on works - do that for another 32ish weeks

Thanks for the advice about the smear diege and lou - I did think about telling a lie and saying I was day 14 when i was about day 9 - what the heck! But I might just wait til next month (I know how important smears are and am not belitteling them at all). It's just that I'm paying good money (that we don't have) for reflexology this cycle (in a kind of 'not many more tries' way.)

gum You sound much better, Yes keep moving along, enjoy what life is throwing at you now and try not to think too much about TTCing - ha ha Hippy - practice what you preach!!

Just ate a lemon cupcake which I DID NOT need. Was not hungry and only ate it cos I saw them at the supermarket and love all things lemon. Am now feeling a bit sick and regretting the indulgence.

diege Re; the bistro - I fancy a roast (well I don't cos I feel sick but you know what I mean) - maybe beef but not too rare, heavy on the gravy and yorkshire puds but easy on the horseradish . You choose the pud please [lazy face icon].

Am having a great conversation with my nearly 8 year old about the possibility of going back in time and shooting your own grandfather - fascinating!

tina love the term attack the hubbie - know what you mean.

just popped on to wish everyone a lovely weekend! I'm on to cycle 4 now, around 6 days to go until i get my highs I think then it's attack the husband time

alba hello to you am also hoping I get to experience the knackeredness before too long lol

Hippy don t know much about smears as i don t do them.Just know it needs to be mid cycle.Although the new liquid based cytology is being used i haven t heard that it can be done at any time.

Hi Alba nice to see you.

BB my bfp was on cd10 mid afternoon.Why not???Before your vaccinations then you will know for today for your jabs.

Gum hi...i do feel strangely relaxed. I think its more a sense of detachment.

Hi everyone hope all are well.Love to all.Nothing to report here.Just plodding on.

Hello! Hippy I'm not sure that's right about the timing of the smear. I think with the old spatula technique mid-cycle was better, but apparently with the new liquid based (brush) cytology as long as there's no blood in the sample it doesn;t really matter. I did ask the nurse last time about this, and while she said that you're less likely to come away with an unreadable sample, there was nothing she knew that said mid-cycle was the only time to get one done. I think I would also have left it for now and had a think. You could always say you were day 14 when you're weren;t? Alba, good to hear from you! (and you too Lia). Utter knackeredness sound good
Gum, I really liked what you wrote about 'keeping moving'; that's the solution if you can do it I think. I am starting to get very anxious about this pregnancy, and I'm not even focusing on an actual baby, just getting wanting to feel sick!
BB might it be worth poas this afternoon before the appoinbtment just in case? I also got late bfps with dd1 and 2, def after day 14 even though that was when I was having very regular 28 day cycles.
ON the symptom front I did feel mildy nauseaus/spaced out sensation this morning, but then I was wishing it so much I may well have imagined it . Boobs sore on and off (some days not) and mouth still filled with metallic saliva, esp after eating. Am just going to carry on as normal I think - will still do my usual high impact classes at gym, but just make sure I drink lots of water!
Bistro tonight girls, get thinking what you'd like

Awww, doing it for you now Hippy