Freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC to hold hands and support each other...

Yay!

Barbs I was hoping you would run into Dachs at some point as I was desperately crossing my fingers and sacrificing goats for you both during latest rounds of IUI/IVF. I like to think the goats worked their magic.

Hairy I wish I could switch off your brain for the next four days. I bet you do too.

Bee excellent work on the barfing

chocs you poor thing, that sounds bloody awful, not surprised you are still shaky. The bean will be fine as is well-cushioned. Do not worry about absence of symptoms - I have checked back and my symptom diary entry for 7+6 says "I MUST NOT PANIC WHEN I HAVE NO SYMPTOMS, IT IS NORMAL" . At 8 + 4 it says "cooked roast pork and nearly barfed on it". Your time will come, oh yes

ooooh dear! Hairy

Triplets!! Barbie and Dachs I'm 5+3 today too - except I don't know when my scan might be and I didn't have a fertility clinic. Maybe you two can be the identical twins and I'll be the fraternal triplet hanger-on!

Hairy I know I've just arrived in this thread but do you do meridian tapping? I did this quite a bit during fertility treatment, you basically reinforce a positive message by tapping areas of your body and repeating a statement. I can go into it a bit more if anyone is interested.

pink meant to add... what EXACTLY does your consultant say about bad tummies and it being a good sign?!>!>!>!>

Hairy I really like the Test, operate, test exit. I will try to remember that.

Thanks Pink and digital I am 5w3d today. I've got an early scan on the 22nd as part of my fertility clinic to make sure everything is looking ok.

All this baby making business is very hard eh? Seems a lesson in trying to learn that TTC doesn't always = pregnancy, and Pregnancy doesn't always = baby. Fingers crossed for those waiting for tests and scans, especially if the scans are in the same place as you have received bad news before.

Oh hairy im sorry i didnt mean to fuel the fire of doubt with my comment earlier. Like the others say, its also a sign of increasing hormones. Try to relax a little and find something to keep your mind occupied!! (otherwise you will drive yourself mad!)

My DH bollocked me for constantly thinking about MC... told me i would become a self fulfilling prophecy if i wasnt careful.. harsh but had a point

Pink (smile)

hairy that's really useful, I'll have to remember those.

Hi Pink

Test : test your thinking (eg: I want to get in to the car to go to London)
Operate: make it happen mentally and physically (eg: get in to the car, and drive it)
Test: Am I now in London? yes
Exit: Get out of the car.

so it's the same for pregnancy

Test: I want an ongoing pregnancy
Operate: have a scan and an HCG test
Test: Did they tell me I have had a miscarriage? No
Exit: Stop thinking about it.

Also reading a really good book by Byrom Katie about 'the four questions'

so for my scenario:

Step 1 Is it true? NO

Step 2 Can you absolutely know that it's true? NO

Step 3 How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? I feel less stressed

Who would you be without the thought? Much happier, and creating a happier environment in my body for my very much wanted child

Hehe great minds think alike!!

mamap I was in Kent this weekend-whereabouts is your pub?

Hi barbie love your name!!! Make yourself at home. How far along are you?

Welcome barbiesbeaver (great name), how far along are you?

X post. I see you've got a counsellor, that's brilliant. You're doing all the right things. Just need to get through it.

Ooh what's the test operate test exit thing? I am v interested in all of this stuff because unless I concentrate my brain on this sort of stuff I start imagining all sorts

Hello, I've been reading this thread and was wondering if I could join you? I already know owl from other threads. I had a MMC discovered at my 12 week scan just over a year ago, after seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks. Am currently pregnant after my second attempt at IUI and am shitting myself wrt to symptoms/no symptoms. Can I join in the mentalling please?

hairy you poor thing. Is there a mc counsellor attached to your epu? The one I've been seeing mentioned that she would see me when I get my bfp in order to help me through these weeks (unfortunately she's on holiday so can't see her till the 22nd which is a week after my first scan but before my last mc date). It might help having someone who can rationalise all your fears.

The fear can be paralysing. I've had insomnia for most of the week as it's the early hours where my mind seems to over think things. The darkening hpt has helped me for now. But I second the 'compartmentalising' suggestion - give yourself small achievable goals, like making it to the end of the working day. Then making it through to bedtime and so on.

Just popping in to say good luck to wombat x

You're so right, Pink and it's something I've been working through via counselling and meditation.

But it seems to have gone out of the window completely for me at present.

I'm going to do my daily meditations more religiously - they do help.

Part of the counselling work I've been doing is about 'evidence base' - and so far there's no evidence base it's gone wrong, but I keep getting pulled into the 'what if' scenario.

Also about Test, Operate, Test Exit. I have no reason to exit the 'ongoing pregnancy' and every reason to exit the 'it's doomed' feeling!

hairy something I got out of my book that I've been trying is that youve got to live in 'daytight' compartments. This means that youve got to forget the past-it's in the past and not relevant to now. You've also got to not stress about what might happen in future-so if you're worried about friday you've got to say to yourself "I'll deal with what happens on friday, on Friday". So then you're left with living each day at a time. So I know as much as any ladies on this thread that forgetting the past is not exactly straightforward but that was then, and this is now. Also v hard not to worry about upcoming scans and dates but no way of dealing with whatever the outcome till they crop up anyway, so better to get on with today and worry about these things when they come up. Not saying this is easy or that I'm 100% successful but I definitely think it's helpful.

Thanks Emoo that's just what I needed to hear.

I am actually feeling really traumatised at the thought of the scan on Friday, so am trying to put it out of my head.

I think I may be developing a real problem with it.

I feel like getting signed of work, but if I do I'll just end up mooching around feeling miserable.

At least I've got other (freak out style) stuff to do in work (budgeting and business planning) to keep my mind off things.

Thanks Ladybee.

I could just fecking give up and sign myself into a loony bin at this point :(

Am trying and trying to keep positive, doing affirmations, etc, etc but I just have this bloody doomed feeling again.

And my endless symptom spotting doesn't help, nor does suddenly feeling like I'm going to faint (the last time that happened was when my suspected ectopic kicked off for the second time).

Am so glad of this freakout room though.

Honestly what would I do?

Dizziness, fainting and nausea are classic pregnancy symptoms, not of course offering any guarantees, but not symptoms that should cause any extra panic? Even if you have your hcg tested again, it's not going to change the outcome of the scan on Friday. Even if your hcg has dropped, you're still going to go for the scan, and you might be more mentally prepared for bad news, but you'll just have shifted your stressing to earlier in the week. If your hcg has risen, you'll still not feel properly reassured until the scan has happened.

I would work out how much money the private hcg would cost, and mentally put this money aside. If things go well, I'd spend it on a special baby outfit/item. If things don't work out, I'd spend it on something like a spa day or meal out with DH.

That's not to say it's what you should do... but you did ask! Sorry you are so so worried.

Yes, nausea did ease this weekend. And I did wake up feeling not the same nausea-wise this morning. However after my post I then spent some time getting intimately acquainted with the toilet (although with nothing in my tum, so not helpful). Right, so I will attempt to remain positive that in the absence of evidence otherwise, I will believe things are ok.

Nickster sorry to say, but with DS I had nausea until wk 15 at least. Felt very hard done by when wks 12-13 passed by and I was still feeling rubbish.

wombat hope the busy-ness helps to keep you distracted until scan time arrives. You can imagine us sitting there waiting with you. Really hope it's all good.

Emoo at homeopathic pee-stick line.

HK hoorah! Fantastic news!

lastly hairy "really fecking nauseous and almost fainted " that's INCREASING symptoms. You nutbar. I know you're terrified, and speaking from experience, it's impossible to judge your own situation with any semblance of rationality in that state of mind, so trust me. Nausea, dizziness, faint-feeling etc = increase in symptoms so much more likely to increase in hormones for your body to deal with than decrease.
I know you don't want to be told the worst on Friday. WE don't want you to be told the worst on Friday. God it's awful, isn't it. But do please just hold on. Nothing is over yet.

Sorry choc crosses posts with you-you poor thing, that sounds so scary!! Did the dog owner come and help you? I'm sure the bean is fine though, surely well tucked under your pelvic bone and in a fluid bubble, an I'm sure the adrenaline surge won't have hurt it. Maybe get a scan to be on the safe side?