Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 12)

mummya sorry you're going through problems. As izz says it's a real strain on both, ttc. I hope the counselling helps. It doesn't sound like overkill to me, if it makes you unhappy, try to fix it.

chloe and collie I'm in Shipley.

Had a busy 2 days painting the house and decorating, busy, busy. Still got loads to do, so will try to check in tomorrow. Waves to all.

Thanks ladies for your thoughts/experiences.

mamapower It's not impossible that I could be pg as have been ttc since bleeding stopped. However think it's doubtful as haven't got any pg signs.

mummyabroad will look out for those signs thanks. If i'm still getting the pains in a weeks time and still no AF think I will go to my GP. On another note sorry to hear about your problems. Think you and DH obviously care about one another to work through your problems which I think is a really positive sign.

Since my post this morning I've been reading up on ovulation signs and cervical mucus. I've had a look at mine and from what I've read think I'm getting ready to ovulate! Well if I've examined it right! Think I'll have to go for it this week just in case!

((mummy)) :( Hope you guys work it out xx

Just wanted to send some big (((hugs))) to mummya sorry you and dh are struggling...this whole ttc/mc stuff is a real strain on the best of relationships and after the extra stress you've has with AS I'm not surprised you're having problems. Fwiw, I think the counselling (both lots) is a positive move forward and I really hope it helps you xx

< waves to everyone else>

mummya so sorry you're having dh problems. It's not overkill if it helps.

Hi Lilli8 I had pains like those, I thought it may be ovulation or cysts rupturing as my body spluttered back into action. Do watch out for:

smelly discharge
fever
chills
pain

because these are symptoms of an infection which would need to be treated immediately with antibiotics. Why not make an appointment with your GP and describe the pains to them? They might want to prescribe antibiotics as a precaution anyway.

still BFN overhere. 11 DPO today, so two days off "official" test day.

Problems between DH and me have spiralled out of control, we've just decided to go back to couples counselling, and I am also going to see a different counsellor on my own. Might seem a bit like overkill, but I am getting seriously worried that I will end up fertile again but with not DH to TTC with! Life is a bitch sometimes.

lili sorry m unsure as to what the pains could be, I can't remember having them (but the way my mind is at the moment that doesn't mean i didn't get them.)

i am having the weirdest af. i had bloody cm, then had brown spotting on the 28th, quite heavy bleeding yesterday but no clots or anything. medium today and seems to be petering off. I used to have 2 days heavy, 1 day very light almost nothing then 1-2 days med/heavy. Although was quite heavy yesterday just hasn't been as heavy as normal.

Hope everyone is ok.

Waves madly to everyone.

Hadrian at place's you've lived! I did live in Paris for 6 months which was fab and have been fortunate enough to travel to a lot of the world, including Tokyo and Kyoto... both wonderful places and the peeps were so genuine and lovely, what were you doing in Tokyo?

Chloe I'm with velvet on early posa'ing but given I did it 4 days in a row who the hell am I to comment and I know you're probably gonna do it anyway... so fx for when you do

wellie hope the move goes well. My dh is an ozzie, so we go every other year and my best friend emigrated there about 5 years ago and has never looked back! Good luck

lili wtf cycle is sadly just that!! It could be af on her way, could be ov pains, could be your ligaments returning to normal. Have you been ttc since your mc bleeding finished? Is there any chance you could be pg again?

Velvet could dh ask bil to perhaps stay with friends on a fri or sat so you get some qt time together? Or could you two go away for a few well timed, romantic long weekends over the course of the next couple of months? Or perhaps you could just start leaving 'making a baby' leaflets all over the place in the hope bil gets the message

Zam any advice on how to stop mentalling will be appreciated here... men are really good at the box thing... except they never go back to deal with it

mummy izzy yrmotb how you girls doing?

Waves to everyone else

Hi lili I'm in my WTF cycle too and have also had those pains. Can't help any more than that though as I have no idea what they are! I've got period-like pains today so am hoping AF is on the way and I can get back to some semblance of normality.

chloe I'm thinking it's POAS time! Any idea when you ov'd?

velvet and collie I lived in Tokyo and absolutely loved it. There's loads to do in Tokyo - splash out and have a drink at the New York bar at the Park Hyatt for amazing drinks and views. I would definitely recommend Nikko and I also liked the open air museum at Hakone. Kyoto is an amazing place and I went to Hiroshima too which was a sobering but worthwhile experience

wellie are you really moving to Oz? How incredible! Good luck with the move. Whereabouts are you going to live? I lived in Melbourne for a few years (before Tokyo!)

LILY - that does sound like ovulation pains but I am not sure it would last that long if it was. Could just be your body trying to return to normal, I guess that's why it's calle the WTF cycle, we never have a bloody clue what's going on!

Sorry for the me me me post but got to go out shortly so time is an issue but had frineds over last night and they all, individually, commented on the size of my boobs and the fact they look like they have grown a cup size overnight! - we have no shame amongst my friends They have been really painful, achy and occassionally stabby pains and I find myself doing the whole groping boob thing then having to remember that I am in public! I know this could be ov/AF etc but also having a very strange sensation which I have to share and see if others ever get this. I am not sure if any of you experienced this after your MC but I could def feel my uterus contracting back, like flutters. I actually thought at the time I was feeling the baby move early as it was my second, little did I know it had died 3 weeks previous Anyway, I digress. Basically I am getting these flutters again and am now . I don't think it is wind. Have any of you BFP felt this? Or even does anyone feel this before AF is due? Argghh I know I will relent to POAS this week

Morning Ladies

Wow this really is a fast moving thread!

You all seem very knowledgeable on this thread so was wondering if I could ask your advice?

Just to remind you I'm on my WTF cycle but for the past 2 weeks I've been getting pains in my lower right and sometimes lower left side (very intermittently) and they don't last long.

Last night I thought my AF was going to arrive as i was getting cramps but there's nothing there today.

Can anyone remember when they were on their WTF cycle getting these sorts of pains? I'm not sure if the pains in my side are ovulation pains?

Anyone's thoughts would be much appreciated!

Thank you ladies and hope you're all doing ok this morning :)

Collie It took me 6 months and three rounds of fertility treatment after my mc (one IUI and two IVF), but I'm not representative - it took me 7 years to get the BFP with the pg I mc, so I think 6 months is pretty good!

Not a charter myself, so I can't help with the temp thing, sorry :(

Morning everyone. Sunday already?where do the weekends go?!

Cep, how?s dh today? Letting you use the laptop in peace I hope

Velvet I love Japan too, we (dh and I) travelled it for a month last May. It was fantastic and the people there are just so unbelievably friendly, to an extent I have never experienced before. I am sure your friends will have lots of places to recommend but I?d suggest Nikko (about 30mins outside of Tokyo), lots of History. I?d really recommend Mt Fuji, we went out of season so couldn?t climb it but its just breath taking to see. Kyoto was our fav place, it?s a beautiful city with lots to do. I?d also suggest if you have time to visit Takayama. Its quite a small town in the middle of Japans alps but its really traditional and has great sake! I?m sooooo jealous!!

Hadrian where did you live in Japan? Sounds amazing. I?d love to have lived abroad for a while.

Hi wellie. Good luck with your move to Oz.

I hope everyone else is ok??

I took my temp again today. 98.34 (97.45 yesterday). This seems like a huge rise to me???

All the people with recent BFP?s (congratulations), how long did it take you to get one after your mc?

of course not, just letting you know we'd miss you.

I'm not going anywhere! I just thought it was a bit unfair to freak out on here about diffedness symptoms so i set up the other thread for freaking out.

meant to say dachs i hope you don't all completely go we'd miss you. (and stalk the other thread)

morning all, hope all are ok today.

wellie Good luck with the move. enjoy OZ.

velvet i would definately get dh to take you away for a weekend or something, to have someone in the house for that long, giving you no privacy argh. you need some time alone. As far as what the dr would need i don't know but is best to do and take everything that they might even possibly be interested in.

I've never been to japan, can't see me ever going either to be honest dh just isn't interested in travelling anywhere. we only go to greece cause that's where some of his family still live. When are you going?

wellie Good to see you! And good luck with the move :)

Peeps - I've set up another fred for the bfps to freak out on so we don't do it on here - I'd post a link but I'm not sure how! You should be able to find it without too much difficulty

It's been very quiet since Friday - is there anybody there?

Well hello
Welcome to all the newbies, sorry you need to be here but welcome and hope you find it a lovely safe place to be.

So sorry I haven't been around for ages getting organised for the big move has been an absolute nightmare but it has finally come around

mouse - so so sorry to hear your sad news hope you are being well looked after

Dachs glad you are feeling optimistic, have been thinking of you

due to the big move down under, I probably won't get online much for the next week or so but I will be thinking of you all and sending happy vibes, and then I will become one of the internationals on this thread, as I don't know what I would do without you guys!

(((hugs))) to all.

Yes mamap he has outstayed his welcome but it looks like he's here fro a few months - he wants to buy a house now.

hadrian our friends live around 40mins outside Tokyo so we are visiting them, Tokyo, Kyoto (dont know how you spell it!) and generally travelling around for 2 weeks. Anywhere in particular we should go?

I'm not sure if I'm gonna stop temping after ov. I want to be able to take my charts to a Dr if it gets to a year of ttc with no luck so would he be interested in LP temps or not?

Hello everyone, I can't keep up with you lot!

Just wanted to share with you a new way I've discovered to reduce mentalling....
close eyes, visualise box(es) with lid (& label if necessary) then visualise bundling up all the mental thoughts and putting them in the box(es) for "later" - then at an appointed and appropriate time you can get them out again, but they also sometimes just go away of their own accord. If they reappear again at an inappropriate time, you just bundle them up again and calmly/quietly put them back in the box, a bit like a toddler going to bed

I know it sounds all airy-fairy but it does actually work, at least for me anyway.

Om!

izzy I like your stress-free approach, it makes perfect sense to me. I know it's easier said than done but I'm going to try and focus on things I do actually have a bit of control over like doing some new projects at work and planning holidays.

velvet I love Japan, where are you going? I lived in Tokyo for six months a few years ago.

chloe I saw the RSC's production of King Lear and it was awesome. I'm not normally that cultured, my Dad bought us the tickets for Christmas

Another BFN for me too mummya. I feel like such a fool but it's great to have a partner in crime!

izzy makes perfect sense I think it's a really good strategy and I hope it works for you

velvet men are indeed from mars and also, hasn't you bil outstayed his welcome yet??

velvet feck it, it's your house, just ignore bil and just engage in some really noisy sex as many nights as you can manage. He'll soon move out.

mummya bonus points for effort, you're making me with the daily poas update. I keep thinking of Dory in Finding Nemo...just keep peeing, just keep peeing...Anyway the charts looking good so fx for you x

loola no I'm not going to worry about missing ov, I'm monitoring temps and using opks and cbfm until ov is identified so I think it should be fairly clear. And I do think the stress is counter-productive. Will be lovely to get past ov and then just bin it for a week or so and it won't make a blind bit of difference to the outcome anyway!

I think part of the stress for me is that it's so out if my control, I can seemingly do everything right for months on end and it makes no difference anyway...I think instead of getting all uptight and frustrated about this (as I have been) I need to embrace it a bit...kind of accept that it's not something I can control and therefore the pressure's off to some extent. I can't stress too much about how to get pg because it's not just down to me; as long as I'm looking after myself and swi-ing around the right times everything else is out of my hands. Does that make sense?

orange glad to hear you're chilling a bit (you too, dachs ). I think if we want anything doing we would have to think about going private. I spent last night studying the PCT's criteria for even getting assessment/investigation on the NHS and we wouldn't qualify, ever, for anything because we already have children. Bizarrely, if I left dh and got together with someone who didn't have children I would qualify . I'm not sure how dh would feel about private testing; maybe I need to ring up and get some basic costs details and then talk about it.

loola glad it's coming to an end, enjoy your shopping.

Velvet It's got to be so difficult with you bil in the house. I used to live with my mil for about a year or so. Thankfully she moved out into a house with her boyfriend shortly after she found out we were expecting ds. Do you go out just the two of you? Or maybe have a night away somewhere. last minute.com sometimes has some cheap hotels on offer.