Am I too young to want a baby?

apologies for terrible spelling and grammer. Am feeding my baby and am braindead have pregnancy brain

Im pregnant with number 3 and Im 25. I had my first at 20, second at 24 and (please God) this one will be born when Im 25.

This may suprise some but given my chance or choice again to wait and have them - I wouldnt - I wouldnt change a thing. This is despite the fact that I am the only one of my friends who has children, is married, has a mortgage etc.. I do feel slightly out of the loop so to speak at times but I wish sometimes my friends were more settled as opposed to me not being so settled, if that makes sense.

Im pretty sure this one will be our last. I was just thinking the other day that when I turn 40 my children will be 20, 16 and 15 .

I do believe, from antedotcal evidence that childbirth/ pregnancy are much much easier when your younger. Myself and DH do have loads of energy for dc. I love it this way.

Of course theres pros and cons and I do agree with much of the advice that has been offered on this thread but really, it depends on the person. Of course it wouldnt suit some people to have a baby "younger" and I can completely see the sense behind having those free and single 20 something years. That said, equally theres people like me who shudder at the thoughts of having babies in my thirties, teens in my fifties.. its each to their own.

DH has a fabulous career, I have quite a nice job but am studying for my law degree at night (half way there!!), we own our own home in the country, we too travelled when we were 18/19..

I dont know.. just another viewpoint I suppose.

I'm 22, now thinking about #2. I have a 2yo son and a DH I married in May. My life is fantastic!!

Everyone has different situations to contend with, mine was living abroad, unplanned baby. HOWEVER, our son was never unwanted and he has changed our lives in the most amazing way possible! I had to change my life totally, never going out, working as a SAHM 24/7 and being exhausted permanently.
There is so much to having children that people don't realise, believe me I know.

I never went to uni, but have travelled. I don;t feel that I will miss out on anything, in fact I have gained so much experience from being a mum!!

My only concern is, that being a mum, what ever age, is harder than you can ever imagine! I am extremely lucky to have a loving DH with a great job and a good home.

I would wait until you have finished uni so that you can put all of your thoughts and energy into a child. Your baby needs you 100%, even 6 hours of uni is 6 hours away from your baby, plus uni work.

Please think about it, it is not an age thing, it is a situation thing!!

It isn't negative, it is realistic people who really know what a child means and it is very different from how you think! The thing to remember is that they are a baby for a very, very short time, so think child and not baby. Get your degree first, it makes life so much easier.

Don't do it. Finish your degree

And don't take this the wrong way but you sound like a kid chiming after the latest baby annabelle tbh

Finish your degree, get a job, give that a try. If you want a baby after 6 months of working then start trying. Do not waste your university education and chances of a career by dropping out now.

I totally agree with Isla that your age isn't a factor in this decision, however where you are in your life is. Your partner doesn't want to commit to kids yet and you haven't finished your studies. You have a lot to do with your life as it is now before rushing the next phase.
You sound like a very caring and devoted partner and dog owner however rather than writing lists about what clothes and accessories you can buy a future baby can I suggest you go and read as many of the posts as you can on the sleep, behaviour, breastfeeding topics here on Mumsnet talk and appreciate just how incredibly hard mothering is. As you read pay attention to just how near the edge and anguished a lot of the posters are. Try to appreciate just how much having a baby can push your relationship, as well as sometimes your own peace of mind to the very limits. It's the best job in the world, but hands down it is the very very hardest. If you really want to prove how good a mum you'll be wait a bit longer til you know who you are as an adult first. I'm sorry if I sound negative, I'm desperate for my second if it's any consolation... despite ending up in a high dependency unit after having my first. Told you it was hard :)

No, first get married and get a job, and do some fun stuff. Then have a baby.

wow, I'm honestly shocked at the negative posts here. I'm 31, TTc for no 2 and conceived my first at 28. I wish I'd had my first a couple of years earlier (well, I would have done but had to convince DH first... he wasn't ready).

I think you do need a supportive partner but I don't think you are too young. My mum had me at 22. I have really appreciated having a younger mother.

Having a baby is hard work, nothing like uni, nothing like a regular job, but you can make new friends in a similar position. Don't expect life with a baby to be anything like life without one. You may lose touch with existing friends as you will lack things in common.

Its well-known that to avoid fertility troubles conceive in your 20s... don't have a go at the OP for seriously considering having a baby in her 20s... I think she's sensible for doing so.

Just to second the advice about having a baby being boring. I was pretty much suicidal at home with my DD when she was small.
It's no more stimulating than being t home on your own, it's just that you have more tasks to carry out... hence, it's more mind numbing.

Finish the degree. And any postgrad you want to do. Travelling with parents is different to travelling with your DP.

I'm 24, expecting my first in April, I'm dawdling through my masters whilst working and I'm tired already! I can't imagine the reality of completing my dissertation with a baby. It's not something I thought of... And I wish I had!

A lot of people who are young parents are positive about the choices they made but how many of them were genuinely in your situation - mid-degree etc? Listen to people on here who did have children young. Most of them say they don't regret it but wouldn't have chosen it.

Plus the part if the brain which deals with long term consequences isn't developed until your mid-twenties so make sure you 100% realise that a child is for life.

I started my family young. I had my first at 23 after a miscarriage when I was 21. I'm 32 now and my firends are only just started to settle down, start their own families. I don't regret starting my family when I was young but I did spend quite a lot of time being bored as my friends where going out, travelling, had exciting careers and i was at home with the baby. After a few months I did make some really good frineds but the early days where dull and I love new babies!

You have been very gracious in accepting our comments that you should wait.

I know this might not matter to you, but if you and your partner are living together and committed enough to each other to think about having a baby, why not think about getting married?

If you planned for next spring/summer you'd be nearer the end of your course. And all the planning would keep you busy

Then, when you've had a chance to relax after all that, you could see if you still feel so desperate to have a baby, and if you do, you'll be a bit older and have done a bit more :)

I still think you are not ready and not having a baby for the right reason.

Finish your degree - you have spare time so there is no excuse for you not to get a first. STUDY!

As others have said, you are not too young to want a baby, but you are at the wrong point in your life to have a baby.

Finish university, get your degree, start working. When you are comfortable at your job and feel you can go back to it after maternity leave then have your baby.

Otherwise, it is very likely that you will not finish university, and will not be working for a good few years, either.

Then, when your baby is in school, where do you think you will work, with no degree and no work experience?

I second the "get a cat" recommendation.

Also, make friends, read books, stay up all night talking with girlfriends. All those things that you will not have time to do once you do have a baby.

There is a difference between 'wanting a baby' which sounds like wanting another accessory and 'wanting to be a mother' which is where you should be. I was always broody, always wanted to be a mother and never had much ambition to do anything else. I waited until I was 24, had a house and a loving partner before we started trying for a baby and I think that at 24 I had more to offer a child emotionally and materialistically then if I had been 20. I feel I made the right decision by waiting for a bit longer and I am absoloutley loving it.

It does sound like you want a baby to fill a gap so why don't you say to yourself that you will wait another year and in the meantime find another passion, if after a year you still feel the same way and your circumstances are good then go for it.

I want to re-iterate that my mum and my close friend were excellent mums. As kids, although we didn't have loads of money, she was amazing. I wanted to be a young mum becuase of her example. And my close friend sounds like you - in that she has always wanted children and that's what she did. She says its the best thing.

I have plenty of other friends too, who are young mums.

What is right for one person isn't always right for someone else.

I say that you should finish your degree, putting your focus into your studies. Spend the time left over from that doing the things that become hard when pregnant or with a small baby. Let the obsession fade a bit.

Look at your circumstances when you have graduated. If it all looks workable then, then that would be a better time to try.

how lucky to own your own home at 20 ....

my advice , especially as your partner is not keen, is to wait.

you are 20, finish your degree , finish uni and then re assess

if you are lonely and looking for something ot fill your time, try some voluntary work.. maybe something with children /children related , maybe with underprivileged children

The age thing is almost irrelevant, the two main things aer your partner is not keen and you are bored.

you can be bored and lonely with a baby..it is not all fun and games and having someone to love

you fancy wokring from home as an author? great.. try doing it in 1 hour bursts, having had no sleep, or with a poorly child dangled on your knee, with no breaks

you have a very idealised notion of motherhood, whihc is not a bad thing per se, but you also need the support of a partner.. examine why yuou need this for you.. think about the baby you are wanting to bring intot he world

there can be few situations lonelier than as a single mum with no friends and no partner, doing it all 24/7 , alone

while you are independent and financially secure, fill your time with things,. i can think of so mcuh I would love to do, if i didn't have to fit children and work and houseowrk etc into the day

i am 32 and have been with my partner for 12 years, we have now an 8 months old baby who we love and are very happy with... but...
a baby does not complete the package, it breaks it at least for a long while, dh works long hours as i am on maternity, we don't sleeo, i hardly eat anything other than toast, and the first few months, when he got home i gave him the baby and collapse in my bed, i say mine, because he hardly ever got to use it at the same time i did... it is hard and you need a strong partnership and knowing what is coming to survive as a couple.
i am not going to tell you wheather your circunstances are right to have a baby, only you know that, only if you do, know what you are doing, and what the implications are, it is not a doll you can just turn off to have your birthday dinner, or xmas dinner, i spent that feeding and trying to get him to sleep, i hardly ate anything and interact with anyone, and i have a very hands on partner who makes sure that doesn't happen...much.