Anyone Fed Up Thinking About it....

I'm so happy to have found this thread - exactly what I needed to read, especially today.

Have just found out that our first ivf attempt hasn't worked (we've been ttc for 3 years) and am in deep gloom about it. Feel like I'm letting everyone down - dh, his family, my family... Also feel like my whole life is on hold until I have a baby and feel guilty every time I have a cup of coffee or glass of wine - anyone else feel like this? AND am turning into poisonous witch-of-doom about friends and family who have children. AND I've got so fed up with people speculating about us that I've told a lot of them that we're doing ivf, so now feel I have to issue a report because it hasn't worked.

Sorry for self-indulgent pity splurge, but I feel much better for it. Hurray for letting off steam!

Unbeknown to us at the time, a friend in our group had been trying for a baby for years, then started on IVF. I cringe at the amount of times the rest of us said 'are you going to have kids then or what' and she just sort of smiled and laughed and said 'yeah maybe'.

She told us the whole story when she was pregnant with her first dd and in a way I can understand because when she went through her next IVF, we were all on eggshells around her, which she understood but hated.

She had wanted to keep things private between her and her dh, which I respect, but I never ask anyone anymore just in case.

On a lighter note, one of my other friends was asked 'how often are you having sex though?' by a practical stranger!!!!!

no-one is saying it to me but I am saying it to myself :
...If we'd been lucky first mth trying i'd be due next mth
...dd needs a playmate NOW - the longer this goes on the bigger the gap (we wanted 2yrs)
...whats wrong with us??

and as for trying not to think about it - IMPOSSIBLE

Yeh they can all piss off!!! Well said Twiggy!!! I keep getting asked are you having anymore? I bet she wants a sis/bro etc.... Well fed up too Twigs, will come back later for more ranting!!!! This thread is the official let off steam thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, how about 'everyone I know got pregnant on their first IVF, you'll be OK.' Yeah, right - 4th time lucky. People just don't think.

What peeves me off is now that I am a certain age (31 just, but been trying since 29) people who hardly know me asking 'Dont you want a family then' or 'are you going to be a career girl'. I've lost count how many times I have said maybe one day.

It doesn't help that I feel enough guilt at feeling I have possibly left it too late. I have always known I wanted children, but wanted to do the right thing in readiness ie Degree, Career, Afford a mortgage, Find the right bloke !!!

Now I think why did I bother maybe I should have just fell pregnant at 18 (when I probably would have fell first month).

Sorry to be such a misery but hormonal got AF yesterday

Twiglett, have to say that I laughed out loud at your message, it was the 'Any News Yet?' line, that cracked me up - in a manic, hysterical, way of course, because that's what I get asked all the time!!! If I didn't laugh I would scream.

Feel free to grumble and rant to your heart's content on here. J XXX

Twiglett and Bogwoppit ....
Oh I know how you feel ...! Wish I could say something to make you feel better but I don't want to piss you off any further.
One of the things that used to wind me up after my m/c and when we were ttc again ... "Oh, Have you just got the one ds then?" (when they have 16 children hanging around their ankles) ... and you want to shout "Yes BUT NOT FOR THE WANT OF TRYING!!!!!"
I know this won't help but try to shut your ears to it all if you can and then come and rant away on mumsnet ....
Thinking of you xxxxxxxx

hey I know exactly how you feel. i have many days like this.
I dread to think how much I have spent on folic acid. I know the 1 moth I stop taking it will be the month I get pregnant.
People often don't seem to think B4 they speak.
I'm always being asked if i am going to have another (my DS is 2). I feel like yelling YES we have been trying for over a year. Just cos I ain't pregnant again doesn't mean I'm not trying.

so rant away I don't mind