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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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27 replies

ArchieandElliot · 29/12/2010 18:00

I have lost two babies this year. The first at five months and the second at three months. The tests have all come back normal both times. I've been told that I will get no more testing done until I've lost another baby.
So here I am, ready physically to start again but petrified that my desire to be a mum means another life won't make it. Our friends and Family are dropping babies left right and centre. We are trying to get through each day without burning up with rage and jealousy. It's not easy.
I've never wanted anything so much and there's nothing I can do to make it happen. I tried to talk to my husband about the possibility that this may never happen for us. His face said everything I needed to know. I feel so useless. I can get pregnant but no matter what I do I can't keep the pregnancy going. I really thought that in this day and age there would be more help available. I am 29, I am healthy, I eat a balanced diet, I do not drink, I've never smoked or taken drugs, I walk my dog every day, I've been taking folic acid for years and I work from home so I'm not exposed to anything that could be harmful to a growing fetus.
Can it really be that this has all been bad luck and there's a chance I can have a pregnancy go full term?

OP posts:
louisesh · 29/12/2010 18:17

Totally with you ArchieandElliot.I m 40, just, i ve had 3 MCs and my dd was stillborn at 41 weeks in October 2010.We have no problems concieving and thought we 'd cracked it with Georgie but she died at 41 weeks due to me having e-coli ,2 sweeps which allowed the e-coli to infiltrate the placenta causing Georgie to die of hypoxia.

Today i received a text from an ex "friend" who concieved within 2 weeks of trying,problem free pregnancy had her baby today [1 day after her due date] with no problems.I , too, attend the gym, don t smoke, don t drink alcohol when pg [don t drink much when i m not pg].I ve since had 2 work colleagues tell me they are pg , with their 2nd, since loosing Georgie.We have had all the tests ;no problems.

Just bloody bad luck with the MCs and bad timing with Georgie, if she had come on her due date, she'd have been fine.So, like you, we are back right at the start,swi, ovulation tests and all that crap.

This year was suppose to be ours but again we ve got to be patient for another year.Sorry for your losses.

Its very scarey but we feel we have no choice as our desire for a child has been excerbxted by having Georgie 100 times over and we don t ever want Georgie to have been in vain.Do you have counselling or attend any support groups? I m doing both as know its the only way i can move foreward.Small steps, don t do anything you don t want to [we didn t celebrate xmas] and if you want to feel jealous or pissed off do its perfectly normal. The only way i can think at the moment is by me getting pissed off or jealous about other people it doesn t help me and it makes no difference to their predicament[sp] they're still pg or have their babies.I ve cut myself off from a few people due to this, i may re-contact them in the future or i may not ????Depends how i feel.

Good luck and take care.Its utter shite XX

lemonsherbet · 29/12/2010 18:09

I am not sure what advice to give. Just did not want this to go unanswered.

I know it is really tough, but people who have lost 2 babies do go on to have a healthy pregnancy. It sounds like you are doing everything right and sometimes these things just happen.

I am sure someone will be along shortly who will be able to offer better advice. Just wanted to give you a big hug.

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