Feck off with your babydust - The hut of gl/doom, home of inadequate reproduction

hmm.....

*hell, not hello!

Hmm think I just wandered into my own personal hello. On my friend's hen do at a spa day. Her Sil is 14 weeks pg. Swings between going on.about it and whining that her life is over. There us also a girl who's little one turns 2 next week dishing out advice- her baby was a surprise. In guessing the Sil did not have to try.for very long based on het attitude. Just had a massage, should be nice and relaxed but I'm not because I'm a bitter old crone. Vvv glad I chose not to stay over and can drove myself home when I'm ready. However, cannot have stiff drink to.calm nerves!
Rant over.

Glad to hear you are getting support hairy. I agree with not having the antidepressants. I've had 3 courses over the years but regretted it the time I took them when my Mum.died, it numbed the pain and I just ended up feeling it when I finally came off them. Don't get me wrong they have their place but I'm.not convinced when It's grief you're feeling. What you're feeling is totally natural. Glad your doc is supportive:)
I continue to obsess. Feel 'weird/tired' tonight and I have gin and tonic, even bought a lemon but I don't fancy it. Trying not to read too much into this- had happened before with bfns. Ho hum time.to flick.through new Next catalogue and fantasise about how fab I'd look in it. anyone else mark down the pages?

Sleazy I'm in Wales. I'll PM you.

I saw the GP. Had a good chat. Am not going on anti-depressants (although she offered).

Seriously thought I was at risk of being checked in to the loony bin yesterday. I have never felt so crazy in my life. :(

Hairy where are you based? I am seeing a specialist recommended to me as work with women who have had pregnancy issues. Pm if want to know more - I really feel for you as remember going mad with grief as tipped over edge when lost son to abnormalities. Also am in despair denial re tests as now at point think will never know or get pregnant again so resigned.

The therapy has really helped

pinkCustard my feelings exactly, my reproductive system is the home of inaequate reproduction and doom and gloom. Jeeese some people are so insensitive. Oh hairy big (((((()))))) to you.

Bex Hi, thank you.

I've been seeing a counsellor for a while.

I am on the waiting list for the Beresford Centre which offers counselling specific to this issue, though.

I came off anti depressants in October, when I was pregnant. I don't actually feel like I'm clinically depressed.

I feel like I'm grieving, and grieving, and grieving, not only for my lost babies, but the fact that I don't know why they died, and I will never know, unless these stupid tests show something treatable, and that I am a silly woman who left it til she was forty one to try for children (I had my very good reasons).

I simply can't bear the thought of never being a mum.

Hairy are you having counsellling alongside the tests? Wish I could rl hug you right now x

God I feel like I am going seriously crazy. :(

I don't want to be alive any more. I can't cope with it all. Partner is being lovely but I just want to sit and cry on my own. have cleaned the entire kitchen.

Sure I'll be ok, just having a bad day/week, I expect.

What killed my babies? :(

Sympathy and hugs and gin here- holly whatsherface also getting to me

pinkcustard isn't it horrible :(

I feel like I'm going mad today.

:( hugs from me too.

Am also on af.

Silly silly woman at work (hr) asked me if I've got my hospital appointment in my diary . I felt like saying "no it's not like it's etched on my brain or anything. In fact I care so little about why I've lost three babies that I can't even remember the dat of my next appointment at which I get the blood work results."

It's the same person who asked how my blood tests went on Monday. How did she think it went to go back there and have more blood taken and have all the sympathetic looks from the nurses.

I'm going to have to have words in the morning. Can't go on like this.

Hugs to both of you xx

sodding AF just got me.

Hi everyone, seems most of us are feeling the same way at the mo. I was upset last night because a friend had put her scan pic on FB and written 'Here we go again!' as the caption. Then listening to the radio this morning they were talking about Holly whatsername being in labour, so I was still muttering 'fuck off, fuck off, fuck off..' under my breath when my phone beeps with a friend's scan news Aarrrggghhhh!! Seriously can't they all just Fuck Off with their pregnancies and bumps and newborns??!!

And breathe...

Oh man I feel ruddy awful. I'm home alone (DH working late doing a trade show type thing). I'm fricking freezing, it took me 2 hours to chose my dinner and I'm almost in tears at DIY SOS!

thanks bex

E.g. this cycle I seem to have ovulated on day 10(!) So I'd need to get my bloods done on day 17.
I am symptom spotting atm, metallic taste in mouth today. Googled it at lunch. Am only about 5 dpo! Not helped that there's three pregnant women at work joking about a plastic chair you simply have to sit on....I wish!

If you are charting it is best to go 7 days after you ovulated, I'm the same and my first two looked low cos they were too close to af.

I will have a lovely cold Bailys hmmm. I will go to the Dr for the day 21 test, what if your period comes earlier each month and its not predictable, how can they do the test.

Don't mind if I do.
Got mine and dp's appt with gp in the morning to get our referral to sub fertility clinic, will be glad to get it underway. There is about 3_4 months waiting list
I believe.
Sorry to all who have af. Queenrollo I know what you mean. Am due a week tomorrow and will prob remain mentally stable till approx Saturday, after that who knows!

this is the week I hate the most in my cycle. AF due next weekend and i seem to be able to get to this point of the month without spending every day obsessing about getting pregnant.
For the last few months I haven't had sore breasts in the week before AF, but today I started with the tenderness again. And I can't bear to let myself get carried away with the 'what if?' again.

help yourselves ladies...

Well Piglet, sorry you're here IYKWIM, but this is the place where we can all understand to some extent what each other is going through! Put DD to bed, and have a large drink tonight!

Oh Ellen good luck, these children are even more miracles to us