Feck off with your babydust - The hut of gl/doom, home of inadequate reproduction

just marking my spot, will be back later to catch up properly x

Thanks pooch. Don't think many private health insurance policies would cover this, esp if I tried to take out a policy now right before wanting treatment! Shame we don't have anything like that in place already. I would also support France over Wales any time . Enjoy your - just tell yourself it's medicinal!

Ellan - probably no help but a friend of mine had all her fertility treatment incl IVF, scans & birth on her healthcare - she's got a really good job though & probably had the top-of-the-range package but even so I was surprised any healthcare provider included stuff like this. Am watching the rugby and shouting 'Vive La France' much to my Welsh husband's disgust! Saw 2 of my NCT friends today,16 and 17 weeks PG -was really hard, left and shed a few tears on way home. Now finishing rest of bottle of wine i started last night to drown my sorrows.

Evening all, how is everyone? I'm feeling a bit up and down today. Really sad that it looks like we can't have another child naturally, and boy does IVF cost a lot, esp as it would prob be with ICSI. So that means a while of saving up etc, and waiting longer to have even a chance at another child. Wish I was rich .

ninja - i'm 35, DH 45.

I've reproduced. He hasn't. The GP seemed to take this into consideration when deciding to do DH first.

This is probably relevant. I have discussed my cycle with this GP before. He knows I was irregular, he knows i had herbal treatment to become regular. I was having severe hormonal migraine in the early days (after coming off the pill), and discussion with both him and my medical herbalist (fertility is a speciality for her) pointed to a massive progesterone imbalance in my body in the six months I was having very long cycles (up to 48 days). Since regulating my cycle i've not had one migraine. I have a 16 day luteal phase, last six months this has not wavered. I do feel 'mittelschmertz' but only ever on the left side. I felt it when i conceived DS, after 8 months of trying for him it was the first time I felt it and bingo! i got pregnant.

bex sorry you're having to wait so long. I know our PCT are quite quick with the male side of things as my friend went through the same. It was longer for her though (she had lap and dye?).

Can we go private? We do have private medical insurance through DH's work, but reluctant to use unless for something really worthwhile if you see what I mean?

nah just waiting and promising myself i won't test early. I can't tonight and tomorrow night as staying with my folks while dp strips our bedroom ceiling wallpaper and strips the paint off the windowsill in our bedroom. Lucky me gets to spend 2 nights sleeping next to ds instead. At least he doesn't snore as badly as dp!
How are you dealing with yesterdays news today? Are you guys feeling more rational/ in charge about things? Have you found out any more info?

bex I think it just works differently in different authorities. Here a SA is just ordered by your GP and you drop off the sample at the hospital for analysis, but the referral to fertility consultant is separate and takes 3-4 months at the moment apparently. Sorry you're frustrated at your situation -it does seem silly it takes that long just for a SA.
ninja any news with you?

hi queenrollo I would push for the day 21 and day 1-5 tests as it is basically a simple blood test for each one. I had mine done at the same time as dp did his sample. It really shouldn't be more than him filling out a piece of paper and you getting appointments with the phlebotomist. Your gp doesn't sound very helpful to me. How old are you both if you don't mind me asking?

Right I need to vent, can't believe how quickly your Dh can get checked out! My Dh had referral made in Jan, appt to provide sample and have appt to go through questionnaire was last week. His work booked a meeting for him he couldn't miss so the next appt is JUNE! Grrr.
You should push to get your bloods done, he needs to check your thyroid, fsh and lh levels. As ellangirl said he needs to check your progesterone ideally for 3 months to check you're ovulating. Gi back and tell him he's an idiot and he needs to sort it out!

Hi queenrollo, I think it's quite usual to do a day 21 blood test for women quite early on, just to check that you're ovulating. Any other tests on women tend to be done by fertility specialist not GP. My DH is struggling a bit with our recent diagnosis, as now he has confirmation that it's 'his fault'. I now have to be very supportive and not show how upset I am, because he's hurting. I think it's a huge thing for a man to go through this test!
By the way, the pot they give the man is huge- made me snigger!

DH just got off the phone to the GP. he has to go in on Monday to pick up 'the kit'

I did get upset this morning and told DH I feel bad for effect this is having on him and I almost wish we'd never started the whole TTC thing

Then we got lighthearted and said 'we'll get another dog if we can't have a baby' 'or a cat' - i replied and said 'several cats!' (he's not a cat person)

I know this has the potential to get tough for us, and that we'll need to be strong to see each other through any problems that may crop up.

been to the GP this morning. I'm not sure what to think.
he said 'i don't need to see you just yet' (to me) 'it's often a problem with the man' (so of course DH who is already worried this is the case came home and was a bit upset).
So he's referring DH to get a sperm analysis first, then if that yields good results he will refer me.

I suppose in one way this is good, no point putting me through a load of tests if we first need to address a male fertility problem, but what if there is also a problem with me?
It should be quick to get DH through the system, so hopefully we're going to get some answers soon.

Doc didn't say much, apart from take vitamins etc which DH already does. He doesn't smoke, maybe marginally overweight but not really, doesn't drink excessively. Obviously we did once conceive, and we have no way of knowing what the count etc was then. But, 0% are fast moving, 85% not moving at all, so regardless of the count, the chances are so miniscule. We have been referred, but it's a few more months of waiting to see anyone...

Welcome Queenrollo nice to meet you.
Ninja you have to stay positive using words like 'it could be'. Not to get your hopes up too much is wise of course (I recall in July I sobbed when af came I was so convinced- talk about demented I spoke to phantom baby! Had 'morning sickness' and everything.) However, you really never know!
Ellangirl that's rubbish. What have the docs said? Is there chances if improving things through diet, cold showers etc?

Hi ladies, have been away in RL and having a jolly time, but nice to see you all again :o
Need help- have DH's SA results and it's awful. Have started a post to ask for advice. Don't quite know how we have a child at all. A bit at a loss for words actually!

pooch i had a previous name but it was very close to one another poster used. It was related to kids TV and so that made me think of King Rollo, but as i am a girl i'm obviously the Queen

Thanks for the gin ninja - as much as i'd rather i didn't need to be here (you know what I mean) it's nice to find a thread where the other posters have a much better idea of how i'm feeling.
I too am surrounded by people falling pregnant or having babies. Some of them I can share their joy as it's been a rough road for them too but others i just want to stamp my feet and wail 'why you! why not me!'

ninja - that does sound positive and i'd be thinking exactly the same as you - plus if you've never had a MC you've got every reason to hope that you'll get a BFP. I'd try to hold off from testing as long as you can - but thats just from my personal (v negative) stance that if I do a test and its a faint BFP and then af comes as normal I'll know I had a v early MC & be even more depressed than if I didn't test and AF started. Probably not v helpful advice - if you went on the zillions of positive threads where a BFP is a BFP and stays a BFP right through to bouncing bambino they'd probably test as soon as humanly possible.
Hello rollo - is that a reference to the yummy chocolate?? .
At moment am trying to type this propped up on pillows after persuading DH to have SWI. Its not v. comfortable. Only another 15 mins to go...

Oh pooch and sleazy you both sound so down, you poor things. Sleazy I've never had a loss but I imagine the amount of feelings and also depth of the feelings must be overwhelming, its not surprising you feel like this. However I like the idea of planning various holiday thongs - good auto correct there!

bex glad you had a lovely holiday, you sound all relaxed and positive vibe-y

pink your friend sounds very insensitive. But yes you're right maybe she just doesn't get how you feel about it. I don't blame you for opting out of going out, think i'd have tried to do the same.

ladies I need you to help me keep a calm head. I have 28 day cycles and last got AF on 25th Feb, ovulated around 7th March (day 11) and yesterday (day 19) when I went to the loo there was pink/ brown blood when I wiped. I have never, ever had spotting mid cycle or in fact at any time ever before. The rational part of my brain is telling me it could be nothing but the irrational side is now taking over completely and I am trying my hardest not to convince myself it was an implantation bleed. I also have a crampy abdomen but wonder how much of that is pyschosomatic or just the elastic in the waistband of my leggings. There is pretty much no point in testing this early as not due af until next thursday! I think my head might explode with all the what ifs by then and also if it turns out that i'm not and it was just spotting I just know I shall feel doubly more shit than normal when af arrives. I haven't told dp as really there isn't much to tell as it is likely to be nothing knowing my luck but if I didn't get it out somewhere I shall drive myself demented
There I said it. that feels a bit better.

Hello queenrollo nice to see you but shame you're here iykwim? Have a gin.

Can I join you?

Have DS from previous relationship. Been trying for over a year now with DH and nothing. Have got an appt for us both to see GP on Friday.

Sleazy - you're right, alcohol doesn't help as I feel even more depressed the next day BUT the PG ones won't be drinking so a couple of glasses of a really expensive Chardonnay will help me deal a bit better with their wearing maternity clothes & comparing notes.

Pooch it's crap- am afraid it's something that alcohol doesn't always help. I think it's best that friends say nothing although I maintain that the people who are pregnant etc I find hardest to deal with are ones who piss me off generally anyway.

Sleazy - had a shit weekend too, all the same feelings of despair and overwhelming - not even copious amounts of champagne at a friend's 40th & free tickets to Eng match at Twickenham helped me feel better. Have finally snapped out of it, tiny rekindling of hope as another weekend of SWI looms up. A couple of friends who started TTC after me are now 15/16 weeks PG, will be seeing them both this weekend - I think they may lay it on thick how bad their PG symptoms are to try and make me feel better that I haven't got heartburn, SPD etc etc - will just have to grin and bear it - & drink lots to numb the pain/jealousy/bitterness!

Hij is think. And pink agree re alcohol - whilst have cut down haven't cut it out.

Aw pink - that is tough but agree that best to skip it. And I don hij anyone who hasnt struggled can understand .

Felt really down last few days- woke at 4am on Sunday despairing of ever having another child . Just felt completely hopeless - didn't wake dh , didn't cry - just lay in bed feeling overwhelmed not least as i know I have plenty to be grateful for. Somehow tho ttc takes over and I have no perspective at times on good things. Doesnt help that work a bit pants. Usually I find it a relief but bad atmosphere due to some organizational changes and I feel generally unappreciated and like going no where.

That said felt bit better today(starting to plan various holiday thongs for summer) and it's a bit early to be pmt so maybe it's just necessary part of dealing with loss .

Hello,
Good luck with your health-kick Bex I keep half-heartedly vowing to give up alcohol but then AF arrives and I end up needing a glass of vino (I don't drink loads though).

I was supposed to be out with some friends next weekend but one of the group is about 4 months pregnant and last time we met she was just starting to TTC whilst I'd already been trying for ages. Can't face all the preg chit-chat and everyone saying how fertile she must be etc so I've made an excuse. Glad I did as yesterday she texted me complaining about what a pain it is to be 'preggars' and how she can't wait for the pregnancy to be over etc. Very insensitive I thought as she knows my situation. I suppose you can only understand how hard it is to be desperately TTC when you've experienced it yourself.