Feck off with your babydust - The hut of gl/doom, home of inadequate reproduction

Ellan I can't afford acupunc/massages but am past the point of caring. My bank mgr will catch up with me at some point. Sorry AF started and no I wont' get a pet unless DH agrees - its hard enough persuading him to DTD at requisite times without landing a furry companion into the mix.
My new boss at work is 9 wks PG - did have an ectopic same time as my MMC so am pleased for her!! But seeing another friend tomorrow who is 20 wks PG - never had MC, no problem getting PG - am insanely jealous of her - hate feeling like that - but being on here at least I'm not alone in feeling like a cow for someone else's good fortune.
Off to counselling now - feeling upset already at thought of having to 'talk' about everything...

i've been lurking around. nothing much to report here. Not sure I ovulated this month. Every other month I get pain on the left side that coincides with EWCM etc and that happened the month i fell PG with DS so I do wonder if im only working on one side, or if there's another reason why I only feel it there. On the 'off' month i still usually get EWCM but nothing this month.

Two more friends announced pregnancies. Finding it harder and harder to muster a 'congratulations' without wanting to burst into tears and stamp my feet and wail at the unfairness of it all.

Hugs ellangirl that sucks.
I am fed up with it all atm.[starts shaking up a gin cocktail to pass round. To be served in classic cocktail glasses with an olive].

AF arrived today, as expected. Was really upset for some reason. Ah well. Wish I could afford lovely massages and acupuncture. If I could I totally would, why the hell not! Not sure goldfish and hamster really count :o And pooch wouldn't recommend getting a pet without DH thinking it's his idea- mine still brings up the fact that I got a dog without really consulting him when he's cross!! (In my defence we weren't engaged, married or even living together at the time...)

I think when ur ttc and down you have to do whatever you can to feel better!

Bex - didn't know you could get long haired hamsters!
Having acupuncture which makes me feel stoned afterwards and when I can afford it massage too - all feels v. self-indulgent but don't care.

Long haired hamster called Peppa. She's not very cuddly.
I am having therapy to help my anxiety issues, they peak with pms but I realised through counselling the issues are ever present but while I hold it together rest if month I lose it with pms. Had 3 sessions get up to 3 more. Massage also v good.

Bex sorry you've had a bad few days, hope the cake & alcohol have helped.
Sleazy ninja - yes think the counselling may help, have to have another 5 sessions - a friend who'd had one MC said she'd had therapy, so maybe having had 4 I should have done this before now... AF started as predictably as ever so the tiny glimmer of hope I had over the weekend ended Sun night.
AF has been really really light the last couple of months - not a good thing as that shows I'm not producing enough progesterone - prog affected by my ever-soaring stress levels.
So plan this month is to forget TTC as much as I can - start the day with a large coffee followed by several more, alcohol at night, SWI whenever...
ellan am seriously considering a furry friend substitute - DH would hit the roof though.

does a lonely goldfish count?

That's so shitty bex, sorry and hugs. A few friends of mine are due any day, all started trying after we did. We're distracting from the no baby situation by getting a puppy to join our other furry children. Anyone else have children substitutes?

Another of my friends is pregnant. Started trying 8 months after us. Drowning my sorrows in cake.

Ah yesterday, sucky day. Today much better. Lovely dad got choked up and told my sister she'd given him the best present ever (it was his birthday), her ds. I felt like crap! Ah well this time next year...
How are people?

my god I'm feeling sooo broody its unreal. This WILL be my month!! It bloody has to be!

Anyway, now i've let that out, how is everyone faring?
ellangirl good luck for your appointment and fingers crossed for dh's sample.
pooch how are you feeling? Do you have to have the counselling often? Maybe its something you have to do a few times to get anywhere with? I hope it gets better for you.
sleazy how are you? Whats your plan for after easter? Hope your dp can resolve his problem with his tube.
bex self pitying wine fuelled rants are ok, they need to be had once in a while or you'll go mad. Sorry the day makes you feel so sad but I can totally understand why, have a gin on me x

hello to any lurkers on the thread too.

Man I hate this day. I don't get it either way: my Mum died 3 years ago and I'm still no closer to being a Mum myself. Bah!
Sorry, self pitying wine fuelled rant over.

Ninja- goo on you for getting help.

Ellen - I am with you. Am on wagon after Easter as given up on natural route (think I mentioned dh having check on tubes Identified an issue there at his medical which tallied with his erratic sperm count).

Pooch- I have been therapy for 4 years and hateful/crying base tho it is it is a life saver as only place outside this type of thread I can vent.

Talking of which am afraid I took the bait and waded in on a I wish o was having a girl aibu thread...

Hello to anyone lurking (hairy lissie any anyone else).

ninja - oooooh have been reading about your dermatitis and admire your bravery in going to dr & getting it sorted - had piles after giving birth - was like shitting razors for ages & eventually plucked up the courage to show my dr - got cream etc which eased the agony - felt really dumb to be so embarassed by it all!
ellan am 11 dpo - going through the usual mind games of imaginary pg symptoms versus telling myself I'm not PG. Refuse to do any more tests - hate seeing 'not pregnant' so will just wait for inevitable AF & drown my sorrows in alcohol.
Went to see a counsellor today - my boss would only let me stay doing an office job instead of going back to 24/7 shift work if I did.... Was as upsetting as I thought - cried through pretty much all of it & still feel crap - maybe it'll help after a few more sessions!! But it certainly didn't today.

Hi all,
Sorry bex, how shitty for you. ninja glad you're getting your itchy bum sorted! I have had some sort of folliculitis/dermatitis on my inner thighs in the past, made tons worse by sanitary pads. The cream the doctor gave me worked a treat- some kind of antibiotic steroid thing.
I'm 10dpo and can't say I've really been thinking about it (backed up by the amount I've been drinking- ha!). I'm just accepting that I won't be pregnant naturally now! Got appointment with consultant through for 13th April, so just holding out til then to find some answers. DH dropped off another SA this morning so we have the results through for the appointment. They're a bit close together to show much difference but at least we have two then to back up our situation.
Sun is shining- off out for a walk- lovely!

Af arrived thus morning. V heavy. Am in agony. Nuff said!
Glad you've got a diagnosis ninja. Have you considered a moon cup? Can sterilise it by boiling it, only 20 quid and lasts for years. Good for environment too. Got mine from.boots.

morning! how are you all today. I've been to GP. I have some kind of dermatitis on my bum which has caused the swollen bits. So i have got a cream on prescription, been told to wash with aqueous cream and do whatever else i can to minimize contact with anything that might irritate it. So need to buy new washing liquid and source some unbleached sanitary towels (it got loads worse when I had af). I had dermatitis on my hands about 18 months ago and it was awful, I'll never touch a tomato plant again without gloves!
I didn't get my referral, but me and dp have a joint appointment with gp in two weeks to go over exactly what will happen if we get referred to make sure we are happy with it. She implied that there was a 3-4 month waiting list and once you are referred they are very much going down the route of assisted conception.
Anyone else got any news? Sorry mine was a bit icky!

Bex my boobs don't change size during AF, although they sometimes get a bit sore prior to its arrival, but both the same I think

Ninja Hope you see a helpful doc who gets you sorted on Wed, sounds awful.

Well I'm having my usual pre-AF spotting - Bollocks!! That means I haven't escaped the 'dye in tubes' procedure which I have to book in for on first day of AF; I'll still have to badger DH into getting his follow-up sperm sample done; I'll have to look pleased next weekend when my sister announces her 2nd pregnancy at a family gathering; and I have to continue with this never-ending bollocks which is TTC!!!

Arse

ellangirl it could be anything! I did think upon inspection (again way too much info, don't eat whilst reading) that a couple of the, er, puckers looked rather red and swollen, am not ruling anything out, just have to put up with it till wednesday more's the pity! i was wondering if it might be bacterial infection? Maybe its a random unknown illness and i will magically become pregnant once it has cleared up? that would be nice

ha ha! nice conversations! Only get mildly tender boobs normally, bex, and don't thing there's a diff between the two. ninja are you sure you don't have worms? Not nice but quite common around young children!

not me i'm afraid, but i don't really get sore boobs anyway. not even when af is due.
what i do have is the itchiest bottom known to mankind and i can't really show it to a gp till af has finished. it is driving me up the wall! Anusol works for so long but bloody hell! not sure if its piles or what but i really wish it would stop.

sorry that's prob far tmi!i really hope when i go on weds she knows what it is and can prescribe me something.

hopefully someone else will be along with more boob info for you shortly?

Feeling a bit random today so feel open enough to ask. Anyone else find during tww both boobs tender but one seems to grow while the other seems normal?! Obviously they're naturally slightly different sizes (like eyebrows, they are sisters, not twins) but this seems particularly strange...or is it just me?!

ninja make sure you find out how long the waiting list is! Phone up the consultants secretary if you want to know.
Was it oestradiol (sp?) they checked for? I'm sure Zita will tell you what they will check for next, but tubal blockages would seem to be an obvious one. I read somewhere it was a more common cause of secondary infertility than primary.