TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

poppet just a thought but do you have any couple time? In some ways I treat dh as another of the kids and factor in attention for him too. Date nights are a good way of reclaiming that coupley feeling without a sitter. I have no family close by so totally understand. I have also discovered that making the effort to have more sex puts dh in a better mood and he is therefore more understanding and helpful I know it's the last thing you feel like when you are sleep deprived though. I also decided to run my house as if it was just me and then anything he did was a bonus. I have become very organised as a result and works well for us. To be fair dh does chip in a fair bit. Don't know if these ramblings are of any help

Bfn here tonight for me. I think I have to do some soul searching as to whether to follow my head or my dream regards dc4 so many people say oh you're brave and now I am beginning to wonder if they are right :(

I know that she isn't as old as yours Poppet- but I am also having some problems with painful latch at the moment. I get indentations ( yes... bitemarks ) where her upper incisors sit just on the edge of my areola. The biting is obviously painful; but that is constant. Not got a clue how to stop her from digging in with her top teeth. ...Sorry to steal your question; hoping someone has info.

Poppet- also really, really sad to hear that you are having a nasty time with DH at the moment. Thinking of you xx

Hmmm I think it might be thrush not mastitis, as it's both boobs and DS's hand is permanently in his mouth and he's being v fussy foodwise but really his final molars don't seem to be that close to cutting through - so maybe it's in his mouth too? As for the other discussion I'm going to ask DH what he thinks to us trying after DS's second birthday in August. Obviously I don't know when to quit but cross fingers for me!

Poppett, it's not mastitis is it? I got it for the first time when DS was 15 months, very odd.

Will add my voice to the chorus saying your DH is bonkers if he thinks life will ever be back to 'normal' after a baby. There will be a new 'normal'.

I'm the same as you, I'd rather get it over and done with and I'm 35 this summer so not getting any younger. I also have no career to speak of so it's the best time for me, rather than going back to some kind of shite job and then giving it up again.

DH keeps saying 'when things settle down'.... And when might that be dear?

Thanks Marthamay and good luck! At least you're in with a shot!!

As an aside, and because there's no one answering on the bfing topics has anyone got experience of suddenly painful bfing with an older baby? Suddenly my boobs are very painful, I think because DS is taking less into his mouth and pulling his head back - ouch! I think it might be teeth as we're waiting on the final four molars, and sadly I know it's not a pregnancy as I tested because they were sore, which kicked off this whole delightful discussion with DH.

Hi poppet, that's sad to have that reaction from your DH. I think he's mistaken, really! I would totally agree with you that it's important to get these 'tiny baby years' over with in one short burst, rather than dragging it out over say, 7 - 10 years. That's very hard. I hope that he starts to see it - good luck.

My DH is very nervous about going through it all again but he's aware that although I want to be at home with my babies I don't want to be doing it for a whole decade, maybe just half. I think we can both see the benefits. I hope that he doesn't change his mind!

I'm now on the 2ww. I still feel that this month is just not my month though. SWI a couple of times but I'm not entirely convinced that I even ovd. We'll wait and see I guess.

Thanks Silkenladder. To be honest the nights are getting better since we nightweaned at xmas. DS now wakes only once or twice and goes back to sleep with a shush and a pat from his dad, or after a brief tantrum then a shush and a pat from me. I think the relationship damage is from the months of more serious sleep deprivation. I just feel in limbo a few months ago when he finally appreciated how much sticking to our original agreement of two kids meant to me, we had a chat where I asked him to tell me when we could start ttc and for him to decide, and instead he's gone back to one child again. I really feel this could be an absolute deal breaker for me but he will take it as an ultimatum. I don't plan to be a long term SAHM but he now wants a few years of us doing coupley things then to do it all again. I want the chaos years to be done with once and once only!

Bless you QF thanks for that. I think I'm on the spectrum of pretty normal too, but because some days the house is a tip, others I haven't got tea ready, or we have words about ooh I dunno him leaving his DIY stuff on the floor so DS can play with it, or never remembering to shut the stairgate, then I'm not coping with one so we definitely shouldn't have another. I think with no help at all - other than his mum helping us out for the first two weeks of DS's life and DS still not sleeping through at 17 months - we're doing more than coping, we're doing really blurry well. He however wants us to do badminton or something together as a couple in the evenings.... FFS.
I'm totally with you in that I want to get this stage over with so our family can grow up together, not space it out as long as possible. I'd like to retrain when DS and hopefully another DC are old enough and I'd like to do that before I'm in my 40s. I also want the DCs to be able to play with each other. We'd both agreed before I got pregnant that we'd aim for two kids, now he keeps pushing for DS to be an only, as if that will somehow miraculously turn us back into the single couple we were a few years ago and get him his old sex life back again . I'm just so sad because I would have to have thought so long about having an only as I don't think it's fair. Thanks for letting me whinge.

poppet you sound totally normal having a baby changes you irrevocably as far as I am concerned. Dh is also trying to say no more here after a bad few days with the kids :(

My theory was that by having the kids close together the sooner we would 'get our life back' as I think that it is harder when they were small

Hope you sort things out

Well I think I'm going to have to drop out of this thread for fraud because DH has decided we won't be trying for another DC in the future... and dubbed NTNS as just aimlessly drifting along. Apparently I've changed completely since DS, we don't have sex as often as we did or go out and do as much fun stuff just the two of us (we have no family nearby to babysit) and until we do these things again for a couple of years he's not interested. :(

It's interesting I must admit I look back now I have one that won't wean and wonder how on earth she did it. However she did just drop down to one feed at that stage which I just changed for a cup of cows milk. She was quite happy with that. I would say I was less attachment parenting with her, and she was always a very independant child anyway. I also think with subsequent children it is easier to feed them than get other types of snack. Oh well I am sure ds will wean at sometime :)
I have to admit secretly I am putting down Ds lack of feeds to early pregnancy hormones but perhaps that is wishfull thinking.

that was meant to be peer supporter- not supported! ( but i am supported too)

silkenladder- and others; thank you so much! i feel Loved can't say i have ever thought of amalgam as a problem- esp. since I worked until 40 weeks pg( i DID look into the research, and DID use a double mask!)

Well; I have to report that we had a 7pm-630am sleep ( yes, wooooo) on Thursday; horrendous last night- but it seems quite hopeful; when all she had managed before was 4hrs. She's got another tooth and had a bad cold now- so could be why...

DH is pretty keen on me stopping now. I am a peer supported too- but not actually going to any groups (apart from my own Christian mum's group)at the moment due to work. I am just finding all the pro's and cons difficult to assimilate.

I find cake is the answer ( which is nicely offset by bf - another Pro)

silken was that me I am a peer supporter who had a 14 month old who self weaned lol yeah she really did ds1 weaned at 16 months but that was by accident as I was really ill.
However we are still going strong at 19 months with ds2 ironic when I could do with weaning for ttc!
Due to test this week not holding my breath though as not much swi going on here this month.
There was a good website for safety of drugs whilst bf trying to remember what it was. Will try and find it when on pc later.

Cheers Isla, kellymom didn't have the stuff I am going to take, but googled the brand name and breastfeeding and found this on the electronic Medicines Compendium:

For CitraFleet neither clinical data on exposed pregnancy nor reproductive toxicity are available. As picosulfate is a stimulant laxative, for safety measure, it is preferable to avoid the use of CitraFleet during pregnancy.

There is no experience with the use of CitraFleet in nursing mothers. However, due to the pharmacokinetic properties of the active ingredients, treatment with CitraFleet may be considered for females who are breastfeeding.

So I guess breastfeeding is ok, but unclear about pregnancy. But as you say, I wouldn't even know if I was pregnant if the colonoscopy is happening in the next 4 weeks. So am going to quit worrying about it!

p.s. YNC kellymom has info on BF and laxatives

Its a difficult one YNC - I mean if you've just come on your period, you won't ov until 2 weeks at the earliest or know you are pg until 4 wks... and if your cycles are longer than that would obviously be all delayed. My general opinion is that not much damage can be done until you know you are pg, as before that there is no blood supply to the embryo. But you may also want the peace of mind of knowing you definitely aren't pg! I also hope things go well

I agree about Clomid, suppression of ovulation is just a normal consquence of breastfeeding. I don't think I'd take anything that messed with hormones while breastfeeding.

I think you need to think about whether you really want the chance to conceive now, or whether you'd be happy to wait a little longer. It took probably a couple of months for my first AF after night weaning/cutting down feeds. Your LO is so young, its totally normal that AF hasn't returned, and really its just a waiting game now. In the whole scheme of things, a few months isn't a long time, honest!

Had hospital appointment today, I have to have a colonoscopy in about 4 weeks so undecided as to whether we should be TTC now. They think I might have ulcerative colitis, but because I had food poisoning, all the damage seen on the sigmoidoscopy could have been due to that instead.

I have to not eat for about 30 hours and take some really powerful laxatives, so need to contact breastfeeding network about whether it is ok to still feed (nurse was a bit skeptical but I think over cautious).

I said to DH 'I'm not sure we should try this month' and he said 'oh are we trying now?'

Yes dear, that's what it's called when you quit using contraception!

got my own answer... that 'friend' is not very pro-bf and may not have understood my situation as apparently Clomid 'SUPPRESSES LACTATION' not exactly helpful then.

so a friend is a GP; and mentioned Clomid. What is the generally accepted opinion on this here?