Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

879 replies

silkenladder · 16/12/2010 19:22

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

OP posts:
QueenFee · 10/06/2011 12:17

Well there is a very faint line!
Dh can see it so I am not imagining it..
However I wont be convinced till I get a darker line as it is very faint!
Feel very excited that finally after 18 months of trying we may have done it!

IslandIsla · 10/06/2011 11:53

waiting with baited breath!!!!

QueenFee · 10/06/2011 09:58

Well af due today by my cycles from 8 yrs ago...
So fmu and I am off to poas...

Mackrelmint · 09/06/2011 18:37

oh Isla, sorry to hear that.

And yes, being told what's going to happen-how much easier would it make things?! 'Oh, so it'll take a year to conceive? -I think I might look into changing jobs then', 'next month? Marvellous, don't have to stress about the feeding, maybe I'll postpone our holiday til after the nauseous period'...

Same as you I think whatever age gap it ends up being will have it's advantages but the waiting and not knowing and hoping and waiting some more is really tough stuff.

Hello bird! we are in similar positions - dd is 10.5mo,no af and on 5-7 feeds a day, including 2 or 3 at night.

QueenFee · 09/06/2011 17:30

Welcome Bird [wave]

birdofthenorth · 09/06/2011 14:45

Ooh just come across this thread! No AF yet for me at 9.5 months but want to TTC ASAP. DD still feeding approx 6 times a day including at least twice at night.

Original poster
silkenladder · 09/06/2011 07:04

Sorry to hear that, Isla. Are you planning to drop the last feed now, then?

I can also totally relate to the swinging between impatience and feeling it will happen when it happens. And to the not testing, mackrel. I mean, if you are pregnant, you still will be a week later, right. And if you're not, then AF is still somehow less disappointing than a BFN.

Hands off the pee sticks, QF!

OP posts:
IslandIsla · 08/06/2011 23:03

Mackrel I know what you mean about swinging between philosophical and impatient! I'm the same. In some ways I wouldn't mind a large age gap of several years - I just wish someone could tell me when it would happen and that it will happen so I didn't waste all my energy on this TTC business. Its exhausting.

IslandIsla · 08/06/2011 23:01

Another cycle bites the dust for me ladies.

How you doing Queen?

Mackrelmint · 07/06/2011 10:48

Good luck for this month Isla!

My natural stinginess helps curb the temptation to test - only did 2 tests in the 6 or 7 months of ttc dd. One bfn which I was still taking out the bin hours later hoping it had magically changed and one bfp when I just wanted to confirm my suspicions.

Killing time in a cafe across the road from nursery where dd is 'settling in' atm. So wish I could be pregnant when I go back to work so I know how long it'll be before I can just be looking after babies again, free from commuting and closed toe shoes! Although of course I know it'll be different with 2, I've so enjoyed last 11 months. Keep swinging between being philosophical and thinking it'll all just happens when it happens and being wildly impatient.

IslandIsla · 06/06/2011 13:15

Queen 7dpo is too early!!! Mind you my first 2ww I tested 9dpo! I so hear you on the 2ww. I think i'm about 12 dpo today (might be more like 10dpo). I've resisted testing so far. Had so many BFNs over the last few months I really don't want to see another one!

I agree on feed to sleep. It really does not matter if you feed to sleep. We fed to sleep until DD just stopped doing it on her own - I'd feed her and think hang on, you should be asleep by now! So I had to change the way we did things. That was when she was about 9 months. Then when she was about 20 months she started falling asleep at feeds again! That didn't bother me - it was only that this timeshe wouldn't stay asleep if I put her down, so I always woke her and put her down in her cot. We've always followed DD's lead - it makes it so much easier that way!

QueenFee · 05/06/2011 22:46

Sorry about all the typos my phone doesn't let me check :o

QueenFee · 05/06/2011 22:44

Yeah its nice to know mackrel! I have many cycleless months waiting with others. I am now resisting the urge to test 7dpo is far too early right!?
Regarding waking I think it makes no diff what you do. I dont feed to sleep when I put him down but do for night wakings and sometimes he sleeps through and sometimes he doesnt. It makes no difference if i'm out and dh settles him either. Sorry thats prob not much help but dd1 I did controlled crying at 13 months and thereafter (because you keep having to do it again) and she probably woke much the same as ds2 now at 2. Ds was a poor sleeper from the minute he was born and only improved when he was older but he had other issues. Interestingly dd was weaned by 14 months so I dont think the bf has amything to do with it either. I would say I think I get more sleep with ds2 as hr is bf and I dont have to hunt for dummies and teddies - I know where my boobs are!
Sorry for the ramble

Mackrelmint · 05/06/2011 18:18

Qf - oh yeah... I don't suppose it helps to know I appreciate being able to vicariously do a 2ww via you seeing as I'm still in the wait of indeterminable length. Fingers crossed for you!

Silken - interesting re first night feed. Actually haven't heard that before. Theoretically I have more energy to work on resettling without feeding for that one,being awake, but I always feel too lazy to do anything other than feed even at that point (night feeds are usually when I get my mn fix too!)

QueenFee · 04/06/2011 12:39

Ahh I had forgotton how long the 2ww was when you're obsessed waiting patiently!

Original poster
silkenladder · 02/06/2011 21:57

Mackrel re putting them down awake. I did that from about 4 months with dd. Never resulted in her sleeping through. What finally did the trick (at 11.5 months) was not feeding at the first night waking. I guess it's the same for us adults: I read in bed every night (sometimes MN Smile). I don't always fall asleep reading, but I find it difficult to get to sleep if I don't read at all. That doesn't mean I need to read again if I wake in the night, though.

Fwiw, I'm not sure I felt much better rested once dd was sleeping through, as she started waking at 5-5:30 instead of 7-7:30. It made a difference to dh, though, since he was waking, too, and had to get up at 6 for work.

OP posts:
Original poster
silkenladder · 02/06/2011 21:43

Yesterday's temp was lower, so I think I probably haven't ov'd. Didn't manage to take it today.

I have cut out the am feed also using the "distract until they forget" technique, so maybe that will help.

OP posts:
QueenFee · 01/06/2011 18:53

Alfie started going to sleep without me all by himself. He just stopped falling asleep on me and snuggled down in his bed. Tbh I think it helped that he is in with his brother so copied him :)
I agree about the night feeds when we do have them he just toddles through and I feed him without waking then when I wake in my own sleep cycle and pop him back in bed.
I am working on the daytime thing by offering snacks drinks etc instead and trying to get him to wait 5 or 10 mins by which time he often forgets.
The only one I can't see me dropping anytime soon is the afterlunch go down for a nap feed. It makes my life easier!

Mackrelmint · 01/06/2011 15:32

Thanks for welcomes and well wishes!

jaggy - a&e and antibiotics and teeth all at once sounds a bit of a nightmare! poor you

we've gone in and out of feeding to sleep periods too. at the moment after a long time of being quite good at settling in cot, we got back into feed to sleep on holiday and now some nights she does and some nights she doesn't. sometimes I wonder if I 'should' be trying harder to put her down awake so she gets more used to it, as most of the books will have you believe, but most of the time i think that's bunkum, like a lot of the crap about sleep 'training'. and when she does just drop off it's nice and easy for me!

very glad she at least goes to sleep most of the time now at a reasonable hour though - for a month or so back at 5/6months it was just hours of screaming and feeding until exhausted...

silken - not sure about signs of returning fertility. defo increased cm for a couple of months now I think, but no ewcm. also more headaches, and I used to get killer all day headaches pre-menstrually sometimes, so wondering if that is hormonal.

re night feeds - I'm finding now after ages thinking they were a problem I had to solve that the night feeds are the ones I mind least/like most. She's all sleepy and warm and heavy and normally drops off again after 10mins and I don't feel too sleep-deprived (except when we have 5am start like this morning). day feeds on the other hand I'm starting to find more annoying as she claws at my collarbone/neck and pulls on and off and often seems quite frustrated. Think ideally i'd cut down to just morning, bedtime and night if needed quite soon, although I'm not so fussed as to start ff in day. Back to work in August 4 days a week so if there's no reduction in feeding naturally by then that'll force it!

QueenFee · 31/05/2011 13:44

I am ready to stop feeding Alfie but he is not. He does make me laugh when he pats my boob and says mummy top melk then when he wants the other side mummy other one or more.
I can't see myself tandem feeding. I get so tired in pregnancy I just can't see it. Especially as I already have 3 to run round after. But there again I didn't see me still feeding a 2 year old and I'm nearly there!

Alfies feeds are anything from 3 to 7 in the day but the key difference for me was def the night feeds he either has 1 or none yay! (only a month ago he was still having 3 or 4 during the night)

Hello makrel and jaggy
I definately didnt feel like dtd till af returned.
Cant help with temps have always just dtd as much as poss and hoped for the best. Its worked 3 times so hoping for the 4th this month.

IslandIsla · 31/05/2011 13:26

well I always find one temp doesn't mean much. Its the pattern you need, so keep on temping! Smile

I love milk cuddles... thats why I'm holding onto our bedtime milk!

Original poster
silkenladder · 31/05/2011 12:47

Temp this morning was about as inconclusive as you can get. I think it's unlikely that I ov'd, but I had a disturbed night (we took the side off DD's cot yesterday), which usually gives me a lower temp. On the other hand, it was a warm night, so Confused. There's no chance I could be pg in any case, since we haven't managed to dtd much.

Welcome, mackrel and good luck. Are you seeing any signs of returning fertility, eg. increased cm? Hope you don't have to wait too long for af.

Grin at "molk", jaggy. DD currently pronounces it "muilk". Unfortunately she seems to have realised that it's a non-count noun and has stopped demanding "want a muilk".

OP posts:
jaggythistle · 31/05/2011 09:28

I was trying to babble back - was on my phone and got fed up though!

I should know by now that just when you think you've got them sussed it all changes :)

I am secretly enjoying extra bedtime cuddles...

IslandIsla · 31/05/2011 08:34

sorry for all the babbling - I was in a babbling mood last night!!

IslandIsla · 30/05/2011 22:32

re feeding to sleep. At 23-25 months DD went through an awful sleep stage, partly due to illness and I wonder if it was also some separation anxiety. I didn't want to feed her, so to get through it we coslept alot (without BFing!). This stressed me out abit as we were/are TTC but I usually managed to get her to sleep in her cot for the first part of the evening then she'd sleep in our bed. Eventually we got her back sleeping in her cot after a gradual withdrawal where everytime she woke I'd lie on her floor until she fell asleep again, then when we'd crack that I withdrew to sitting at the door, then just popping my head in and telling her it was sleeptime. And now, after 2-3 months we are back to sleeping through!!

... so you have my sympathies. Phases do end - remember that!

Swipe left for the next trending thread