and ANOTHER one of my friends is pregnant, bringing the total up to everyone I have ever met in my entire life except for me.

Thanks to the people who posted nice thoughts for us - still no news here on TTC or anything and still waiting for first AF post MC but I think everything is moving again indoors (won't go into detail as relates to cervical mucus!!!)

I completely understand everyone who feels horrible every time anyone is pg....have just got back from a weekend with my family and they have all been completely lovely yet had NO IDEA at all that I would feel uncomfortable during a conversation about my stepmum's best friend (who, credit to her, has just had her first at 43) and her niece who has also just given birth.

I am very proud of myself for not having a strop - I kept fantasising about sobbing "I can't handle this" and flouncing out, then having everyone apologise for being insensitive and never ever speaking about pregnancy again (til it's my turn...) but then realised that my mum would have a stern word for me if I did that.

So, I waited for a lull in the conversation and went to get a LARGE refill of wine. Don't think anyone realised I was a bit down which has made me feel like a "proper" grown up (I'm over 30 but normally feel like a big kid!) Also avoided mum-lecture!

I am also very keen on the theory that others may also have had trouble ttc, they just haven't said so...that should keep me chirpy for a while. Thank you for that idea!

Good luck everyone for getting through Xmas gatherings with pg friends and family - I'll be thinking of everyone on here when I see my pg friends in the next few days.

I agree with Sweetsherry, people can be thoughtless about the feelings about others, they are so wrapped up in what is happening to them that even if they know that there are friends who are having trouble they still want you to be excited on their behalf.

There really is nothing that you can do, bar having a little cry when you are on your own, I guess that mostly they havent gotten pregnant deliberatly to upset us, but it is heartbreaking to hear about it, especially when we want a child so much!!!

I hope everyone has a good xmas and plenty of time to SWI!!!

FWIW, I'll probably be intolerable if I dont manage to get pregnant

Sweetsheery - I hope I won't be. I'll try very hard not to be but I know I'll be so excited (and scared!) :) :). That's why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I keep repeating to myself that it's not that I wish they weren't pregnant and happy, it's that I wish no one had to go through the heartache that is not having a baby when you desperately want one. Doesn't do me any good though . I still feel like someone's knocked the stuffing out of me whenever I think of pg friends or see mention of their excitement :(

The problem is, people are fundamentally egocentric - they would probably be apologetic if they knew how you felt, but it doesn't occur to them to imagine that someone may not be as excited as them about their pregnancies.

Pregnant people are smug, happy and annoying that way..!

(But we won't be..)

Sorry about the "all about me" rant. [Lychees passes mulled wine around].

I have un-friended two pregnant FB friends and blocked two pregnant relatives from my FB newsfeed. All these are #2 or #3 pregnancies. My relatives should know better as they both know our situation but there they are on FB, patting each other on the back, constantly having nothing to talk about on their statuses or walls except for pregancy related things. Not a thought spared for me even though I selflessly supported them through money and marital problems [never mentioned my own worries until they were all sorted and happy again as I didn't want to bother them when they had worries of their own]. I have been all but abandoned by them now that all is well for them.

Okay, rant over ... feel a bit better now. Where's the mulled wine?

Fantastic I am also the most awful selfish person in the universe I know when it comes to other people's preg/birth announcements . I keep thinking I'm learning to live with it and then the comes and bites me again .

2011 will be our year!!!

another one at work just announced. glad to be working from home today.

Oh fledtoscotland; hope you are okay; and to everyone else on here struggling tc.

It's harder than I ever thought to 'put on' your face and be happy for friends when you are desperately TTC. As much as I love my friends dearly I am being a bloody bad friend now that they are announcing pregnancies. I am so jealous that it feels easier all round to avoid them - apart from maybe a bit of emailing etc but I just can't face having the usual baby/pregnancy orientated conversation if we got together. I'm the most awful selfish person in the universe I know.. but it is so disappointing when it isn't you announcing.

Not a fan of that whole baby dust thing but I really, really am crossing my fingers for us all... and hopefully this will be one of those threads that in a year, all of us will be happily bouncing along with great big bountiful baby bellies..!

can I join you for a general moan (and a few tears) that yet again I am not pregnant.

Have two gorgeous boys but have been TTC #3 for about a year (properly charting etc for 7 months). Totally devastated every time AF appears. DH does his best but two close friends found out they were pregnant by accident and although I'm over the moon for them, I'm in pieces inside.

We are off to see GP in the new year although my PCT wont offer much as we already have 2 live children :(

thanks in advance for listening to my moans that I daren't voice in RL

Yuleno 3 weeks ago I knew a grand total of 12 pg people. I also had no one to drink vodka with and had been battling infertility for almost 2 years as a result of a nasty mc which wreaked havoc with my insides. At the end of October my best friend announced her pg when she'd previously told me she'd gone back on the pill and wasn't trying anymore. I felt irrational hatred towards her for getting something I wanted so badly so easily and it seemed that she wasn't even that happy about it. So, might I commend you for still being able to muster the ability to be happy for your friends?

3 weeks ago, I discovered it had finally happened for me, but I won't be announcing it until I'm absolutely sure it's viable, or my bump prevents me from hiding it. I still feel decidedly anti pg announcements and worry about everyone who announces theirs before even having a scan. It's a very hard time, but don't feel you have to smile and be congratulatory all the time if you don't feel it. I told my friend I was pleased for her but, due to my situation, I couldn't really be around other people's bumps right now. She was a bit put out, but no more than she'd be if it was the other way around - and it was quite liberating to be able to tell the truth for once instead of hypocritically congratulating someone else when all I wanted to do was punch every pg person within my reach.

I really hope it's your turn next.

I do completely understand how you feel, four months ago you were me - both our secretaries at work announced pregnancies, one sister in law had just had her second child, the other was about to pop with hers, then DH's neice (she is 23 I should stress) announced she was pg too, oh and DH's nephew's partner.... it felt like a conspiracy. I had had 2 mcs in the space of six months in 2009 and basically felt like I hated everyone who was pregnant. I like to think I hid it with grace.

(whispers - am now 7 weeks pregnant....)

It's worth rehearsiing the words 'are you? That's lovely (for you)!' So it sort of sounds like genuine congratulations. I've had to do it quite a lot recently.

On the plus-side, everyone I know of child-bearing age/circumstances is indeed now pg, therefore there can be no more nasty surprises.

Twojack that is a great theory and I am so going to steal it!!! :)

I guess the one thing to remember is that they might be having trouble too and just pretend that they havent had.

I try to think so anyway, makes it a little easier to swallow and hopefully me a nicer person too.

Hi ladies this is a great thread and I am glad I am not the only one who is feeling this way, when my sister announced her pregnancy after one month of trying I was genuinely in bits! I had a miscarriage in august last year 16 months later and still not pg despite 6 mnths of fertility treatment :(

Why does everyone else around you seem to find it so easy??? Since my miscarriage there have been si many babies born amongst friends and I just can't be happy for them it just seems so unfair!!!

Girls, so glad I stumbled on this thread - it's good to hear that I'm not the only one that has to suppress complete jealously and rustle up a lukewarm attempt at being pleased for pregnant mates..... It's rubbish isn't it. yuno a couple of months ago I would have been at you for complaining given that you've been able to experience being a smug preggy woman twice before but I've come to realise that I think once the "neeeeed babyyyyy nowwwwww" hormones kick in I don't suppose it matters whether it's your first or your third that you're trying for, it's just as all-consuming. My problem is the nagging little worry that maybe I'll never get to be one of the smug preggy women.... I am working v. v. v. v. hard on squashing that and focusing on being positive - it works some of the time!!!!

The video is BRILLIANT, I am quite tempted to post it on my facebook too....

Bexamundo Similar to you, recently referred. GP tests back, now waiting for appointment with the shhhhhhhhhh! fertility clinic ahem

Level Completely agree. It's awful when a friend says "it was a shock... we weren't trying... completely unplanned" and then they look as smug as anything. Sorry, being unreasonably

I've just gone for bloods - ttc 13 months now. Have given up not drinking (or not drinking much!) in the TWW as i'd be spending half the next year sober.
Also sick of my friends telling me they accidentally got pregnant!

I've been TTC for 12 months now (just approached the GP to start to ball test rolling). Friends getting pregnant and having babies at the drop of a hat .

Here's to stretchy clothes! We will get pregnant eventually - we always knew we needed them.

*delete as appropriate

Thanks knackered, I'm doing my best to enjoy the booze until the point that I might get pregnant and then have to stop for all the pregnancy and bf period.Positive thinking and all that!

Really thought I was pregnant a couple of months ago, DH had to stop me from going out to buy those extra stretchy clothes, which I am sort of glad of, comfy though :(

I'm not pregnant, I'll be your friend.

Don't feel bad about not being unconditionally happy for them - did you see the 'wh has won berghaus coats' thread? Lots of envy there and that was only about a jacket!

@ Knackered. I have a very similar jersey dress, also unneccessarily rouched. At this rate it will have gone out of fashion before I have anything to fill it but my choclate biscuit induced tummy rolls.