TTC after a miscarriage - Ready to try again, we can do it this time!!!

sorry to hear it's not going to well for you slinkstah. Don't blame yourself tho, that is the one thing I've learnt from this is its not my fault I did bugger all and still lost my baby so it cant be helped. I'm sure eerything will be fine for you this time tho, besides we're all routing for you.

Slinkie - I'm so sorry to hear you had such a rough time of it. I suppose stress could contribute, but then again, think of the women who lose DHs or family members whilst PG, and when I use dto worry about MC during my other PGs my lovely MW told me that there wasn't a increase in MCs and stillbirths during the war and everybody was stressed then.

Don't blame yourself, hun. xxxx

i blame stress for everything- in my situation anyway, i was trying to complete the last weeks of my 2nd year of my degree - which i was coping with ok and then i was told by the council i had to move house as my flat was unsafe and they had to do works in it. then they offered me a horrible place to live which was damp and didn't even have a proper kitchen. i was strssed to the maxxxx and started feeling unwell rang midwife and they said all is ok. i went for a scan and a antenatal appointment and told them i was feeling unwell and having alot of braxton hicks they tested my urine and said alls well. 2 days later i was back telling them i am still not well. they finally did an examination and said i am 3 cm dialated! then the nightmare began!

this time i am going to be stress free as i have moved into a nicer place which i am happier with and i am going to be a stay at home mum for my next pg and ill go to yoga etc

i am hoping / praying that i haven't got a incompetent cervix - they say they cannot tell untill it happens twice! i could not go through it again.

Thanks guys. Luckily she's not my regular doctor so I dont have to c her again.

I'm so happy and excited for everyone.

Is anyone else testing? or are we back on the bding again?

I'm going to tell my boyf if he wants his child to be oldest he needs to get jump on!!! ha ha I'm just dreading stoping taking the pill cos it always means that I'm in for a good couple of weeks of bleeding (when I'm normally only bleeding for 3/4 days) but I'll go through hell for my kid. So heres to jumping on the bed backwards Cheers

Congrats to you missmibaby!! I'm so happy for you i really am. Happy days!!

Good luck to you slinkstah but I@m sure you won't need it.

I'm so happy for everyone who is having their child.

I used to smoke up until I found out I was pg then I started again when I found out there was no heartbeat and I quite again about 2 months ago.

I dont drink unless my family have come over for dinner and then I have 1/2 glass of white wine.

We're moving 2 a 3bed house in a couple of weeks which is about 1/2 mile from where I work so am gonna cycle to work for abit to shed the worst. As I normally am around 12 stone (still overwight) all this excess is depressed eating (chocolate rules!!) Is it safe to still bike ride when you're pg for the first part? or too much of a strain?

Sorry for all the q's

Lets hope its as lucky for you slinkie!!

i can't wait to test but have to wait 13 days! i hate the waiting bit.

missmibaby- CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very, very,very,very faintline is still a line! Yee-haa! Another bfp - nad the first on this thread! This one is as lucky as the last!!

wowowo congrats a faint line is a line its a big fat positive!!!

mumswish - that's an awful thing for your doctor to say - you can complain. Do you know who runs your surgery. Being overweight has nothing to do with your ability to fall pg or to carry the baby to term. I mc at 8 weeks - I did nothing strenuous (other than chase round after my 2yr old ds). My doctor told me (very gently) that it is probably natures way of dealing with an embryo. Another very good gp friend of mine told me that it is infact very common. She works in a women's clinic and sees a lot of women in our position. She also had a miscarriage, has had IVF (twins!) and has recently fall pg naturally and very unexpectedly. I hope this gives you some hope. My advice would be to come off the pill, try not to get too bogged down in planning brith dates, and get bd-ing.

HC - I tested today - saw a really,really,really,really faint line. Got dp to look and he said he could see it too. Trying not to get too excited.

I think it was very mean of the doctor to put it like that - what ever happened to being sympathetic?

If you eat a healthy balanced diet (and yes, that does include chocolate!), you don't smoke or drink heavily, then I see no reason for you not conceiving. Obviously, in an ideal world, it would be better for you to be a skinny 9 stone, but this isn't an ideal world! There are more important things to worry about, like the smoking and drinking. And exercise doesn't mean running and aerobics necessarily. Walking is said to be the best form of exercise - and its free! Or try swimming.

You have to get things into perspective - yes it would be great if you were nearer your ideal weight and got a bit of exercise, but lots and lots of women who smoke heavily, drink like fish, are grossly overweight, fall PG everyday! Most of which didn't mean to fall PG!

I'm 5ft4 and 14st. I went to docs to ask advice about what to do this time. (different docs from mc as I@ve moved since) and she said "first of all you need to lose weight you're too fat to have a baby" exact words.

I'm really scared that this is true (although she could have put it nicer) we eat heathily, just not one with the excersise thats all, hence the weight.

Being overweight shouldn't make you MC, should it? I've never heard that before.

I think the same as you. I still see these very young mums, with their babies surrounded by the mums school friends smoking, swearing , being generally unwholesome, and I think "why then and not me?". I saw a PG woman smoking just a coupl eof days ago and I found it a real strain not to go over to her and say something. It is very hard. But I just tell myself over and over that it was out of my control, I did everything in my power to make sure my baby was happy and healthy, but it just wasn't to be. I used to get very upset when people said "there was obviously something wrong with it" or "it wasn't meant to be" even though I knew these people meant no harm by saying htat. But now, I can kind of see that there is some truth in that. You did everything you could, Mumswish, to make sure your baby was doing well. It was nothing you did that made the difference.

Being overweight might make it harder to conceive but not impossible, there are lots of larger mums out there. I'm not exactly skinny (although i must say this cold is working wonders for the diet ) and I fell no problem with my last 2. As long as you are healthy, eat well, and look after yourself, thats what counts.

Your time will come, Mumswish. As it will for everyone, even me!! I'm hoping DH will see how much this means to me and agree to TTC again. But in the meantime I'm here to give everyone a bit of moral support, and, when I'm feeling up to it again (bloody cold), a bit of a laugh.

was also wondering does being overweight play a factor as 2 whether a mc will happen? I'm well overweight (doc told me)

Thanks for all the messages guys. I dont really care when baby born I wanted to b pg 2 months after mc. Which I think is a need everyone has and it really doesnt dissapear so Coathanger I really feel for you. My boyf asked me to wait and I waited this long in bouts of tears worrying about when/if it was going to happen again. I'm so chuffed now tho. and I'm not even pg yet.

Is it harder to become pg after mc? Its just after reading these posts it seems as tho everyone is having such a hard time. It makes me think I'll have trouble which is something I really wasnt thinking about. I just assumed that if it happened once it would happen again. I was more worried about whether I could make it stay than whether I could get pg in the first place.

I remember the whole thing at the hospital was "its very normal to have a mc with your first pg" why didnt anyone prepare me for that? I just assumed u only had a mc if you did strenious stuff.

My bestmate is heavily pg, due today and has been in labour (Slow labour) for 3 wks on and off is this normal? I'm not 2 sure how I feel about it at the moment as it bugs the hell out of me when you c all these women with kids who smoke, drugs etc when I couldnt keep mine. My best mate has polysistic ovaries (sp?) and she got pregnant one night when the condom snapped (she was on the pill and took the morning after pill) and she still got caught. And kept it. Why cant it be the same for me?

I'm sorry to ramble and about such mundane things aswel.
Thanks for all advice gals.

Where you all gone????

I know nobody minds but, well, you know what I'm like Diddle, always apologising and being defensive Didn't want to take it on myself to invite folks along! She seems really nice and will love this thread, as we all do

Have just invited another lady over from another thread i hope you don't mind

I know you don't

Slinkie - that sounds like a very posh course!! You must do what you think is right in regards to your course and falling PG. People can ive you advice but at the end of the day it is your choice. xx

Diddle - how do you feel today, hun?

hi coathanger i am studying multimedia computing i am suppose to be going into my 3rd year this week but have decided to take a year out as my stillborn baby was born 3 weeks before i finished my second year so have assignments still to resit and also i don't know whether i am up to hectic 3rd year.
although i am still wondering whether i am doing the right thing, if i get pregnant straight away then that is great as then not being at uni is a good idea.

mumswish- i was only 19 when i fell pg with ds, was not planned but wouldn't change anything.