When to have 2nd baby??? Advice???

I think after an 18 month gap I'm waiting at least another 3 years before ttc no3 (if there is a number 3) I think there are pros and cons whatever the gap we wanted our children together get the baby stage over with, they will be into the same things (though probably not) maybe 6 months from now I will be totally disagreeing with all this!

Agree with sweetkitty it is a personal choice. Ideally I would like 3 years between each of mine and plan to start trying for no 2 when ds turns 2 but that doesn't take into account for any problems conceiving so if I don't conceive within a few months of trying it could be a much bigger age difference. Having said that I still feel like a new mum and there is no way I could even think about trying for one now.

I wanted a 4 yr age gap so that DD would be about to start school. But, nearly a year on, we are still trying & the age gap now will be at least 5 years I was quite hung up on the age gap then becoming too big, but having now been diagnosed with secondary infertility (after conceiving dd1 on 1st attempt), I'm less concerned about the age gap & will be grateful just to be blessed with another child. I think different age gaps work at different times - a small one might be really hard work to start with, but will pay off when the children are able to share the same age-related interests later on.

Having said all that, from your original post you seem to be pretty clear on what age gap you want & I think when the time is right it will hit you like a tonne of bricks anyway

I used a buggy board for my ds who was nearly 4 as I walk every where, but too far for ds so when he was tired he just hopped on. Depends how far and how often you are out walking whether you need a double buggy/buggy board.

NO! That happens with some parents and normal buggies, its not a double buggy thing! I never poke my buggy out into a road. There is never a need to if you cross in a sensible place or stop the buggy and take a step forward!

vickitiredmum, about your buggy, iv seen some people with them and cant get my head round them as most of them push the children out into the road to see if there is traffic, does that happen to you? i dunno if i could do that.

I got a stadium style which is as narrow as a normal buggy but longer. Its much better for doorways etc. The ones that have your Lo's sat side by side are too wide imo. Although my mum swears by them and said she had a side by side one when we were little and used to half collapse it to squeeze us through doorways when we were little .

There will be 2.5 years between DD and her brother or sister when this one is born in December. I would have left it later, but it took a while to conceive both babies and I'm 35 next February.

My sister adn I are 4 years apart and I'd prefer a gap like that.

lol

Compo, you can get the boards where they can sit as well as stand, not sure what happens if they fall asleep though!!! Could be a bit dangerous!!

Nowt wrong with double buggys IME

I wondered about a buggy board too. The thing that puts me off is when I've had a really crap day and me and ds need a break I push him out for a walk and often he still falls asleep (he's 18 months) and the thought of being knackered with a new baby and a ds who might want to sleep on a walk but instead have to toddle along very slowly or stand up just doesn't appeal. Sorry, I sound a bit negative on this thread don't I?!!

staceym11, theres 2.5 between me and my sister, and my mum managed without a double buggy, just a seat on top of the pram (those old fashioned ones), so I'm hoping a buggy board will be enough for us.

my dd has just turned 11mth and we'r ttc #2, so there will be around 20 months between them if i fall straight away, i dont want to push a double buggy either, so either dd will walk or when she gets tired she'l go in the buggy and #2 will go in a sling.

there was almost exactly 2yrs between me and my bro and by the time i was born he walked everywhere and mum never needed a double buggy!

There is only 16 months between my two. It's bloody hard work but I keep telling myself it will get easier, and it does. If I could have done it differently I would have met DH years ago, had lots of fun and then had kids spaced out a bit more but I didn't want to leave it too late and then start again when I'm pushing 40. I'm sure if I was younger and had the two at the same age I'd have had more energy

oh - there is hope then jaspercat!

Actually, the other day my DS was crying and my DD (2 1/2 yrs) went up to him, stroked his face and said - "dont worry - daddy be home soon" aawwwwwwwwwwwwww.

There is exactly two years between my two, and although the first year of the second one was hard, now they are 2.5 and 4.5 they are the best of friends and get on well, so occupy themselves a lot of the time. Plus they like doing the same things. I was getting on when I had my first so could not afford to leave a long gap but it has worked out fantastically.

We didnt want too big a gap with DD and 2nd one - told my DP that we should start ttc when dd was around 15 mths with view to concieve when she was around 2 because of likely risk of not conceiving as quick this time round (conceived within 2 weeks of TTC with DD) and miscarriage risk (i have always felt that if you havent had one then the maths/odds will get round to you soon enough). Got pg approx 7 weeks after ........ left with just 2 year (almost to the day...) gap. Its been an interesting 5 months......

If you try and plan kids - there's never a good time. Give yourself at least a year from your last one to heal properly and then go for it - there'll always be pro's n cons for sooner or later.

I have a nearly 4yr age gap. We started trying for baby no2 when my ds was 2.7 eventually conceived when ds was 3.3 and our dd was born 2 weeks short of ds 4th birthday. Its a perfect age gap for us, like you I did't want the double buggy thing and also wanted to spend time with ds when he was a toddler and got potty training and everything done and of course ds was starting nursery so it gave me time with the new baby. They are now 6 and 2 and when I see them playing together I know it was a perfect age gap for them and for us!

we are going to have an 18 month gap, I know I'm mad but we wanted them close together and he gap is right for us, I think it's your personal choice

I agree with mojomummy. My sil thought exactly the same as Donbean (sorry not meaning to single anyone out) but she had a miscarriage and is now 39 and very It said in the papers recently that your fertility declines after 35 (they don't take egg donation after this age as well) and I know lots of people still successfully have kids after this age but I definitely wouldn't plan to because i know so many people going through the heartbreak of miscarriages and IVF.
(sorry to be so depressing on a Friday afternoon!)

HI, we are starting TTC in nov/dec, our DS will be 15/16mths so approx 2/2.5 if preg straight away (haha!!). I don't want to leave it too long as I am 34 now and we want a third as well. DS has been walking since 9mths and is starting to get independent now, so hopefully by then a buggy board will be enough as I don't want to push a double buggy either.