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Conception

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TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

981 replies

nurse47 · 16/11/2010 10:23

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

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nurse47 · 21/11/2010 11:17

Why the hell does my phone post two replies! I can't do anything right!

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nurse47 · 21/11/2010 11:13

Morning, well went out last night had a brilliant night out with some close friends. We got talking at the end of the night and my close friend let slip she is pg, but also we had the same due date! I haven't stopped crying since we got home last night. I told her I was really pleased for her and all that, and I am but I'm devastated for my self. All I can think is scan dates due date, how am I going to feel when she has the baby? I can't stopped crying I look a wreck! DH is trying to help but I feel he doesn't understand how I feel! I feel so robbed of mt baby, and why me again! Its so not fair! I'm still in bed, I don't want to get up or see anyone. I was doing so well and now I feel I'm back to square one! Sorry for rant just feel like s**t!

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nurse47 · 21/11/2010 11:13

Morning, well went out last night had a brilliant night out with some close friends. We got talking at the end of the night and my close friend let slip she is pg, but also we had the same due date! I haven't stopped crying since we got home last night. I told her I was really pleased for her and all that, and I am but I'm devastated for my self. All I can think is scan dates due date, how am I going to feel when she has the baby? I can't stopped crying I look a wreck! DH is trying to help but I feel he doesn't understand how I feel! I feel so robbed of mt baby, and why me again! Its so not fair! I'm still in bed, I don't want to get up or see anyone. I was doing so well and now I feel I'm back to square one! Sorry for rant just feel like s**t!

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wonnaywombat · 21/11/2010 07:09

Morning everyone.

Yellowtom - well done on the gym. I made it there too yesterday (despite hangover) and felt heaps better after a 7k run on the treadmill.

star - sorry to hear you've been feeling a bit flat - I know what you mean.

I'm back at work today after the week off (2 days for post ERPC recovery and then it was a public hol here for the rest of the week) and no-one here knows other than one female colleague and I'm finding it v hard to field all the "did you have a lovely holiday" questions - grrr...... in some ways I feel like wearing a placard with "I've just had an MC" on it - I can't work out if I do want people's sympathy or not. I think my brain is not functioning well at the moment though - I was awake from 3am today with my mind whirring and so consequently functioning in something of a haze today....

Sorry for the rather glum post. On a more positive note, I've just received a letter from HMRC advising that I overpaid tax in 2005/2005 by 1187 quid and I should expect this rebate shortly - wonder what I can spend it on! Smile

sparkly, rach, brought, nurse and others I may have missed (sorry!) - how are you all today?

Star82 · 21/11/2010 00:15

Yes, i suddenly felt real tired last night. Went up at 9 which is unheard of!!!! Even DH commented!!
I've cancelled my DW membership as there is another gym much nearer to where we've just moved. Need to get down and join really but waiting on my bleeding to stop. i'm only wearing a pantyliner but am still bleeding lightly. Gone a bit more brown last few days. Does this all sound normal?

yellowtomato · 20/11/2010 23:40

star I think flat days are to be expected, all part of the healing process. In some ways the whole thing seems like a dream, something in the distant past but for me it was only last week so I am expecting more blips to come. I guess we just carry on on day at a time and see how we go.

This week I've been more or less on holiday and so has DP so I am a little nervous about facing the real world again.

It is a big comfort for me to have you ladies to talk to.

Off to bed now, still feeling so tired. Although also pleased that I made it to the gym today!

Star82 · 20/11/2010 23:06

Ah, that's good brought, i still need to do a test so i know everthing is out.

Had a bit of a flat day yesterday. Not sure why. Just wanted to be away from everyone and felt a bit numb. Feeling better today so hoping it was just a just a healing blip.

yellow, Hi!! Beesok, sounds a lovely day. Been to watch a football match today so got a good bit of fresh air which was good. I'm in at the hairdressers friday. Can't wait. I'm going back blonde from being near enought black (and a bit of red in between) xx

broughthimroundtotheidea · 20/11/2010 15:39

Hi Ladies
I am still taking folic acid, as I am in the habit now so may as well keep taking it ready for when we start trying again in feb.
Well I had a weird feeling in my tum this morning, and got myself worked up that I could feel movement in there! Absolutely crazy seing how I actually saw my sac during my M/C! Anyhow I pee'd in a stick and was negative, had expected a faint line if there was still a bit of hcg in me, but no it was completely clear which I am taking as a good sign for future ovulations.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend planned.
xxxx

yellowtomato · 20/11/2010 12:14

That does sound like a lovely day beesok I think positive thinking is def what we need!
I am still taking the vits, I think you are meant to take folic acid for 3 months before conceiving so might as well carry on. Having said that I am also getting stuck into the diet coke and alcohol. And have been getting pleasure from plenty of cheese and pate. You also made me chuckle with the idea of baby making in the new year when 'there's not much else on!' I think that'll stick in my mind now......'oooh there's not much on tv tonight....what shall we do.....ooh I know... Grin

rach ooooh that sounds great to be off to a spa for the weekend....jealous! Poor you to have fainted twice during your mc. My first was natural and was v painful, i almost called an ambulance which is why I went for the op this time.

wonnay hope your head is starting to feel a bit better, how about a nice fry up? I had quite a lot last night but feel surprisingly fine today. Just trying to decide whether I can drag my lazy bum to the gym or not. Haven't been for a couple of weeks so would probably do me good......but not sure I can be bothered!

Waves to everyone else sparkly nurse star pink broughthim and wombat

Hope you're all having a good weekend.

wonnaywombat · 20/11/2010 06:22

What a lovely positive post beesok - glad to hear that you are treating yourself.

Rach - fainted twice?! Eek - must have been bad.....

Valentine's day would be lovely wouldn't it? I'm going to practice the power of positive thinking for that one!

Feeling a bit second hand this morning after a joint 40th/50th birthday party last night. I was a bit anxious about going but v glad I did although not so glad about the number of glasses of wine and corresponding head this morning!

Beesok · 19/11/2010 21:30

yellow nice to see you again!!!!!

rach hope you enjoy your weekend :)

are you guys still taking you antenatal vits? I stopped for a while and actually started drinking coffee again, just came back from drinks with hubby (haven't done this in a while!) I am now just spotting the bleeding after my erpc was very sparse so hoping things will go back to normal soon.

I had a lovely day in london today - woke up, sun was shining so decided to treat myself to a nice breakfast (normally there are massive queues at this place on the weekend) then got some errands done, decided to get my hair done and managed to book myself at my hairdresser, went window shopping and then had drinks with hubby. And to think I had an erpc yesterday morning....I have a positive feeling that somehow everything will be OK. Well, at least am really hoping it will!!!

Fingers crossed for everyone, whether it takes a month or five we;ll get there eventually ..soon enough we will all be complaining about sleepless nights and nappy changing ;)

rachk32 · 19/11/2010 19:18

mine af came back 5 weeks after i actually mc,d so fingers crossed that happens for you to beesok.
Our bodies are all very strange arent they, i started to bleed on the monday and by the following wednesday i had physically mc,d i couldnt of waited three weeks, so i think you made the right choice. Natural for me was horrendous, like a mini labour, i fainted twice, so wont be repeating ever again.
Valentines baby sounds fab, ive got my fingers and toes crossed for you.
Im off for a weekend health spar so will catch up with you guys sunday. Have a good weekend, its nice to have some MN friends. X

Beesok · 19/11/2010 17:23

Hi sparkly yes I remember your post :) It's weird, not even a month has passed and it seems so surreal now....

It was a painful experience but taught me a few lessons - I don't think I will allow myself to be this excited next time, sounds sad I know but it might save me some heartache :( I found out very quickly - must have been 2 weeks!! and I did tell a few close friends + parents when I was about 4-5 weeks so yeah had to do the explaining bit too. This time I will wait until I get a 12 week scan because I just can't handle the disappointment.

I'm glad people at work knew - they were v discreet and supportive and understood my need to take time off and have breaks during the day (I work with children so it was hard at times) that def. made my life easier.

I am excited about trying again but at the same time feel fragile and I think that waiting a month would be good - just want to relax, take it easy and not put pressure on myself.

I say let's party over Christmas and get to it in Jan when it's boring and cold and there's pretty much nothing else to do Grin Grin Grin

yellowtomato · 19/11/2010 17:20

hello ladies

yum, mulled wine, I love it. I guess that is another thing back on the menu Grin

I'd love to be pg by valentines day but am really trying not to get my hopes up as it took so long both times before.

Off for a nice dinner out tonight so hopefully that'll cheer me up a bit.

Hope you all have nice evenings/weekends planned?

nurse47 · 19/11/2010 14:56

No one knew I was pg apart from a couple of close work friends, but I'm a sister at the hospital so I know the epau nurses and I knew the aneathetsis and the consultant!! I've worked there since I was eighteen. I work alongside a lot of the consultants too so with me being off work for a couple of weeks the managers told them why I was off and the gosppiers will have spread the word too. I'm glad they know as they will be a bit more understanding but then I don't want all the questions that go with it x
I'm going to the xmas markets on sat so I'm getting some of the mulled wine its to die for and so christmassy!!! So I want to enjoy that too he he!

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nurse47 · 19/11/2010 14:56

No one knew I was pg apart from a couple of close work friends, but I'm a sister at the hospital so I know the epau nurses and I knew the aneathetsis and the consultant!! I've worked there since I was eighteen. I work alongside a lot of the consultants too so with me being off work for a couple of weeks the managers told them why I was off and the gosppiers will have spread the word too. I'm glad they know as they will be a bit more understanding but then I don't want all the questions that go with it x
I'm going to the xmas markets on sat so I'm getting some of the mulled wine its to die for and so christmassy!!! So I want to enjoy that too he he!

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Sparklywine · 19/11/2010 12:32

Afternoon, and welcome Beesok, sorry you have gone through this too. I read your posts (I am such a serial lurker!) and think I posted in to say that I had the erpc after waiting a week for something to happen naturally, which would have taken me to 14 weeks, and couldn't take the wait any more so went in for the op. Like you, if I had bad news again (please no) then I would see if they could do the erpc straight away, it definitely helped me move on.
Nurse, you've created a lovely little haven, thanks. Did people at work know you were expecting then? A small circle of my colleagues did as we do a Come Dine With Me and one of them rumbled that my sparkly wine was alcohol free, which is very unlike me. Amusingly, her first reaction was annoyance as she thought she'd been tricked into drinking it as well Grin

After I got the bad news at the scan, I actually went into work (think I was numb with the shock looking back), and one of them asked if I had any scan pictures Sad Anyway, although I am a very private person and don't want to talk much about this in RL, I found/find them knowing a real comfort, and it means I don't have to explain my snarling moods. No-one broached it unless I did, and baby talk was kept very low key which was really sweet. I think you'll find people will be really understanding and will be able to tell if you want to be left alone.
I can't wait for one of us to have a bfp, it'll be lovely. I've just managed to get some of the Marksies £10 champers though so could do with being able to enjoy that over Christmas first!

nurse47 · 19/11/2010 11:11

Morning ladies, we have a nice little group forming!!
Beesok when I had my last erpc we waited two af and I got pg around valentines day!!!
As for me I'm pretty much back to normal physically and I'm back in work monday, I'm just dreading the how are you? It wasn't meant to be? Feel like saying to them all just don't say anything!

I'm excited for us all, and I bet by xmas we have had a bfp!!!

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nurse47 · 19/11/2010 11:11

Morning ladies, we have a nice little group forming!!
Beesok when I had my last erpc we waited two af and I got pg around valentines day!!!
As for me I'm pretty much back to normal physically and I'm back in work monday, I'm just dreading the how are you? It wasn't meant to be? Feel like saying to them all just don't say anything!

I'm excited for us all, and I bet by xmas we have had a bfp!!!

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Beesok · 19/11/2010 08:47

Hi rach thanks and sorry to hear that you had to go through it too - it does sound exactly like my situation!

I wanted to go natural initially but waited 3 weeks and there was nothing - no cramping, not even a spot so got fed up and had the op. To be honest, if this ever happens to me agan (god forbid) I will have the op on the same day if I can. It was absolutely fine and I finally feel like I am recovering.

Re emotions, I still have my moments but I think that is absolutely normal.... ironically what really sets off my tears is when my hubby asks me if I am OK :S but now it's more of a 5 minute tear and over ;)

I was 6 weeks when they discovered it. I am hoping that my period comes back quickly and that I will be pg by Valentines Day (at least that's what I am aiming for he he he )

rachk32 · 18/11/2010 22:28

meant wouldnt go natural again...

rachk32 · 18/11/2010 22:27

hi beesok, sorry for your loss, you story sounds very simular to mine, im also 32 and this was my first pg too, i also got pg on my 2nd cycle of ttc.
How far were you along? I went natural as the bleeding and cramping had started, wasnt really sure what to expect to be honest but would go natural again( god forbide i ever have to).
Two months on i feel physically better than i did, also back to my normal self, mentally its going to take some time, for me it hit me a month after, and have had three weeks of pure built up emotion, its now getting better on a daily basis, thank god and im ready to ttc again, im just hoping it all goes smoothly this time....
Fingers crossed we all get 2011 babies x

Beesok · 18/11/2010 21:58

Hi everyone!! Nurse thanks for inviting me to this thread :) Maybe I'll start with a proper introduction as well, I'm 32 and as many of you know recently had a mc (my first pg) and actually just had my ERPC this morning. I'm surprised at how well I recovered and although I still feel a bit sensitive I am "OK".

Oh I am the panicky type: before I got pg I was worried that what if I can't conceive (got pg 2nd cycle we tried!) now this so naturally am worried about what next, will I get pg quickly? will it happen again???! But then trying to not dwell too much on that and let go of the control freak in me - it is what it is, can't really worry about something I cannot control...

re ttc, I want to wait until I have one period at least and get the all clear from my dr and also feel like I need some "timeout" - I want to go back to the gym, not worry about how many teas/coffees I had and just have a bit of fun and then start properly after Christmas/New Years. I'm really hoping for a 2011 baby and keeping fingers crossed for everyone here!!!!

:)

Sparklywine · 18/11/2010 16:56

Yoohoo yellow! I'm just being sensitive as I don't have many friends in RL and was then rejected virtually, it all felt so unfair Grin I only noticed because I've been takingthepiss at work with internet access all day.
Of course you'll be fluffy and vulnerable, a week is no time at all. I looked at the clock at scan time for the first couple of weeks, remembering but also trying not to if that makes sense. I actually had to check myself as sometimes I think I'm in Eastenders and become a bit melodramatic, I was at work so looked like a right loon! It's awful to find out at the scan though, it's meant to be such a happy moment

yellowtomato · 18/11/2010 16:32

Oh sooo sooo sorry sparklywine that was not intentional. I spent time looking back on page one to make sure I hadn't missed anyone but still did.
Please accept my grovvling (sp?) apologies. Only excuse I can offer is that I'm still feeling a bit fluffy brained after the op, have been making quite a few mistakes with various things. Will you forgive me, can we start again?

Hello sparklywine how are you doing?
It is tough, especially as I looked at the clock this am at 9.30am and realised it was exactly a week since I was being scanned and getting the bad news.

yes, let's be positive and look to the future. i think Oct would be pushing it a bit for me, erm, not too good at working things like that out. But soon......let's go for soon.