TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

Hi Running, do join! I'm sorry you are going through this, I had my bad news at the 12 week scan too and it was awful, I'd have preferred a sign earlier on and will definitely try and push for an earlier scan next time. I hope you have given yourself enough biscuit eating recovery time, I went back to work too soon and spent the whole time on MN . Luckily my boss was really sympathetic and let me take some more time off. Glad you're getting the support at work though, this sort of thing can really show you the good in people can't it? It is scary thinking about TTC again, and so soon for you. I was anxious to get going again as I thought it would make me feel better, but actually having time for DH and myself has helped far more. That and drinking wine, I actually lost weight whilst pregnant as I was off the booze! There are a couple of joggers on this thread, hats off to you ladies! Might hit the gym later

Hello All, can I join you? I had my ERPC last Thursday. My 12 week scan was last Monday and the baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks. This was my second pregnancy - I have a DD who is 2.6.

I am at work today. Several people here know what has happened and I am glad they do. They sent me some lovely flowers last week. One person I work with is pregnant. It is going to be hard seeing her pregnancy progress and knowing I should be not far behind her.

As far as ttc goes, I don't think I want to even consider it until after Christmas. I am 39 so feel the clock is ticking loudly. I honestly don't know how we would cope if I get pg and have a second mc. So at the moment I feel scared to even think about ttc.

Ahhh, you're all so great, thank you!

Thanks sparklywine for your kind welcome. I too was wondering about taking vits - decided to carry on but right now I'm taking them with vitamins in mind, rather than a focus on the 'ante natal' bit! (If that doesn't make me sound too odd!)

Hi rachk32 I'm so sorry that our stories are so similar, it is also reassuring though - of course it'd be much nicer if we were happily pg and didn't have to seek out others in the same situation but there is definitely comfort in places like this. To think that prior to being pg I'd never looked at a forum in my life, let alone write on one!

Hey wonnay and star, thank you for making me feel a bit more normal! I'm sure I'll wean off Jue in June in time....maybe! Wonnay I admire your positive thinking. I'm attempting the same but like you often find myself crying out of the blue.

Star thanks, I did a quick google and I think what you said sounds quite likely. I think it's something about progesterone. I'm having my next bloods done on Friday so I'll see what happens after that.

I hope you're all having the best Monday you can

Hands up here too Mel, i've had the odd peek at the thread. It's nothing obsessive, just mjore a little glance. I noticed 2 more ladies have left over the last couple of days. Hoping they will find us when they feel ready.
I'mj definately not qualified to say but reading other peoples threads, it seems that depending on the amount of tissue left, they can give you a shot of hormone to push out the rest and at a worst case scenario may offer and ERPC. Don't worry too much though as by the sounds of it your docs probably expect the remainder to dissolve into your lining and you'll shed it with your next period. x

I think we'll be a bit up and down all the time. I must say though, i feel fine actually but keep having the odd, dare i say it, 'hormonal' outburst!! Not tears or anything like that, more being irritable and wound up over things that wouldn't bother me normally. I'm usually very laid back.

Hi meltobe and welcome to the thread and v sorry to hear re: your loss. I wish I had some answers to give you re: HCG levels - I can certainly imagine it must be v frustrating not having an end in mind to this.... Do you have someone at an EPU / GPs you could speak to. I totally know what you mean about familiar names, I wasn't ready to join the other threads, but feel very much among friends here. As for checking on the Jue in June - I'm still doing a bit too so you're definitely not alone there. I'm not sure if it's helping, but I honestly don't think it's doing any harm- just makes me a bit sad from time to time, but then a lot of things make me sad. Someone told me today they had a surprise wedding on holiday recently and that made me cry!

I am also anxious about ttc again - if this ended in a 3rd mc, I don't know how long it would take to recover.... however, I am definitely thinking positively and focusing on all the good things in my life. (ask me again tomorrow though and you may well find me terribly negative - all parts of the ups and downs I think).

Hi to everyone else.

Hi Meltobe, sorry for your loss, your story sounds very simular to mine, 13 weeks hwen discovered id mmc's at 8 weeks, went natural by choice (not sure why now) 33 this dec and was my first baby.

I think its natural for you to be checking back in on the jue in june thread, i think the stronger you get in time, eventually that will stop, its nothing to be ashamed about, and jealousy is part of the grieving process...

I found myself on the miscarriage threads quite alot at the beginning but now less and less.

I wouldnt rush your feelings, run with them, it does take time, 8 weeks on for me and i only just feel like ive come out the other end.

Hi Meltobe , welcome, of course you belong here! I don't think you're messed up at all to still be reading Jue in June, I've weaned myself away from the sadder threads to a certain extent, but it is comforting to see familiar names. You'll probably find in time that you hang out here more, when you're ready to move on. At the moment it's very raw for you. I don't know about the hcg I'm afraid, they took my bloods but no idea what they did with it and I never got any feedback. I'm hopeless at asking the right questions I think.
Nurse, I'm so sorry you had a bad weekend, I feel awful for not being around. I'd be the same as you I think, we're meant to be meeting up with one of DH's best friends on Thursday and his wife is pregnant. I think she's a couple of weeks behind where I would have been, but I am dreading seeing her and her little bump, and having to look really pleased for her when I'm crumbling inside. If she's due around the same date I'll find it hard to keep it together. I hope things look a bit brighter for you today.
Re the sex, I don't know if I'm a bit weird now but we didn't really let events alter our dullroutine passionate desire. I was probably secretly hoping to conceive again straight away initially, but that's not the focus any more. In fact I'm feeling a bit indifferent to it at the moment, the thought of spending most of next year pregnant is quite exhausting! I think my period has sapped my energy. I stopped taking my vitamins actually but should resume, I don't know how long folic acid hangs around in the system for, perhaps I still have a reserve, but should top myself up. Hi everyone else, it is nice to have some MN pals.

Hello

may I join you lovely ladies?

Lots of names I recognise from Jue in June and the mc thread and some new names too. I'm so sorry we're all here but thank you nurse47 for starting this thread. I too looked on the other ttc after mc thread, it seems like it's full of lots of lovely ladies but right now I think I need the comfort of names already familiar to me, plus so many of us are at exactly the same point since our mcs.

I guess I don't really belong here as I ended up going natural (not through choice) instead of ERPC but I hope you'll still allow me to be here. For those who I didn't know before I'll keep it brief but I had a mmc, at around 10 weeks (after having seen the heartbeat a couple of weeks earlier) finally completed last Sat after knowing it was over and being in limbo for over a week. I was hoping for the op but my body eventually got going, altho it got stuck so I did end up having it removed but didn't need an op.

I'm only bleeding a tiny bit now. I had to go back for a scan on Friday to see if I was all clear but there's still some tissue remaining. I'm really fed up about this as it's exactly why I wanted the op instead of going natural. They also took bloods and I've just heard that my hcg levels are still "highish" so they've got to keep monitoring me. I asked what would happen if they did't go down but they said they'd talk about that if it happened. Does anyone know? I guess they're trying to put me off asking "what ifs?" but I like to be fully informed! Could it mean that I'll still need an op?

As far as ttc goes, I range from feeling too frightened to even contemplate to having overwhelming feelings of wanting to be pg like yesterday. I want to wait for at least 1 af - if my body still thinks it's pg, that could well be a way off.

Forgot to add, i'm 33, this was my first pg.

I have something awful to admit to, I still keep reading Jue in June, I can't help it but I'm sure it's not helping me emotionally. I feel envious of everyone on there then just feel so awful when anyone else has to leave. Is anyone else still reading it or am I just a bit messed up? Should I stop? Don't be polite!

Morning all.

Nurse - how are you feeling today? I do hope you managed a good night's sleep and will be ok at work today. As star mentioned, sometimes it's good to have some sort of stock answer prepared. Up to you really. Thinking of you x

I have much admiraion for those of you who have done the PG tests - I just don't think I could face seeing the positive come up.... I think it can take 3-4 weeks for the levels to get to a level where they wouldn't show on an HPT. I have read somewhere that HCG levels in your blood need to be less than 5 in order to start ttc....

Re: sex - I read somewhere (can you tell I've done a lot of reading on this...?!) that you should wait til the bleeding stops (I think in case of infection) but other than that there shouldn't be anything stopping you physically. I was a bit worried last night as bleeding suddely seemed much heavier but I blame it on the rather punishing road run I did. I'm desperate for it to go before Thursday when we're off on our luxury weekend..... rach - glad to hear your pampering weekend was such a success - good for you.

beesok - I winced when I saw your post re: NCT classes - seems so unfair. I hope telling them won't be too difficult.

brought - very at the chav on a bike for you - people are so bloomin thoughtless sometimes...

yellowtomato, sparkly and others - hope you all have a good Monday

i spotted for the 20 days after my mmc, but yes we did have sex around 10days after, it felt very raw physically and mentally but i needed someone to be close to...
After four weeks everything felt quite normal for me, but i suppose e eryone is different.
Ive booked in for my first pilates class on tuesday as ive been left with abit of a tum post mc, which again is a constant reminder....

Nurse, i have a good friend that is a couple of weeks ahead of what i would have been, so again i understand the torment. What i've found worse is i saw her yesterday and she wasn't quite her normal self around me so i know she's feeling aware of this. She's ust so lovely that she'll be feeling like she doesn't want to flaunt it in my face. She was still chatty but definately felt she kept a little distance (we were in a big group situation).

Wonnay and Beesok, you are both making me feel soooo lazy!! I think my aim for this week is sign up to the new gyjm where i live now.

Wonnay and Yellowtomato, i empathise with the random blurting out. I've had quite a few people ask since we found out if we are having any more. I got asked yesterday actually. I managed to mutter, yes we would but came across really awkward so she probably thinks i'm up the duff or at least trying. The first time i was asked i ended up telling them as i hadn't prepared myself with an answer so was caught off guard. I'm a terrible lier (even if it's just witholding information) which is why i look awkward.

I've gone to a pale brownish bleed now. Not a great deal. Bought a few preg tests today also. Did one earlier to check if the hormone has gone yet and my body still thinks i'm pregnant :(. Will leave another week and re test.
How long after an ERPC can it take to get out of our system?
Also, a little personal, but has anyone had sex yet? I'm a little worried in case it will hurt and DH has admitted he feels a bit funny about it. I'm only a week post op so need to wait another week before we can even think about it anyway but wondered what your thought were, esp those who have had the op before.

rach that must have been difficult :( on the day of my ERPC I got a confirmation email from the NCT classes I signed up for that I have a place :(
Now I'm trying to get in touch with them to cancel/refund them and will have to explain everything :(

Nurse sorry you're having a bad day :( Don't be too harsh on yourself - this is the place to let those feelings out so don't feel about them! You're not selfish - just perfectly normal!

If it makes you feel better I can confess some weird feeling too - my brother in law got married a few months ago and I would be rally upset if I found out that they are pregnant in the near future -- I know I am a silly stupid cow and I absolutely don't wish them badly at all it's just human nature!!!!!

I think this is why a forum like this is important - no one judges you and everyone has gone through pretty much the same emotional roller coaster and sometimes you have to talk about your feelings to someone other than partner/family/friends so please rant all you want!

As for me - was an OK day, didn't do much really in fact I think I might go for a walk just to get a breath of fresh air, other than a gym session I spent most of today vegging on the sofa :(

Hope you feel better nurse and yes, pls eat something :) and hope you all have a good evening! xx

nurse please chat away, that's what we're here for. It is totally normal and you are not selfish at all. Please be gentle and kind to yourself and as rach says, start with eating. It sounds silly but if you look after your body it will help your mind too.

hi nurse, your not being selfish, your grieving.
You will get through this, it DOES get easier. Im 8 weeks on now as feel alot better about things, can look back now and realise at times i was compleatly ingrossed in grief.
A mile stone for me was last week i had a pampers email to say i would of been 21 weeks, i didnt even realise?? Such a big milestone to miss, but kinda made me realise id come along way!
My SIL is pregnant, and three weeks infront of where i would of been, im not going to lie, its hard seeing her pg progress and them get excited.
Ice had to start to plan my future, as two months ago my future was planning for my baby, for me thats the hardest thing.
Take care of yourself,get plenty of rest and yes please eat something, even if its just toast, it will help you feel less tired and down.
So sorry your going through this, i feel your pain. X

I'm so sorry to hear you've had such a bad day nurse Maybe it will have helped to get it out of your system a bit today and things might seem brighter tomorrow?
I really feel for you and wish I could do more to make you feel better. Maybe try to eat something because maybe low blood sugar/lack of food could be making you feel even more down? Hope you sleep well tonight, let us know how you're getting on tomorrow.

Oh nurse , so sorry you had to go through that last night, I'm sure you will be lucky soon and carrying one of your own. Then you will be so focused on the one you have in your tum and not give the one you didn't . Incedently, when I had my dd, I was pregnant at the same time as my sister in law, and found we were both comparing what our babies were doing and when so much so that I have to say it caused some resentment and un-necessary worry. It will happen for you nurse xxxx

wonnay good for you being back in the gym, and back up to 7k already! I don't go to the gym but road run instead, and managed 6k today but it was VERY slow and nearly killed me! And some little chav on a bike nearly hit me whilst he was riding on the path past me doing a roar in my ear as he went by. Next time he's getting shoved off.

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter today star

waves>> to everyone else :).

hi ladies, just got back from my pamper weekend with the girls it was fab and i feel fab!! The first time since my mmc i actally feel relaxed and in control, im just hoping its a perminant thing and not just temp. Anyway feel great right now and can really start putting my head back into ttc again next month.

Hope you ladies have had a fab weekend, sorry havent had chance to read all the weekend posts, on my phone today.
X

Oh nurse -that's really tough and you have my sympathies. Well done for being such a nice friend and telling her you are pleased for her. Your reaction is completely understandable and we will have knocks like that and we will just have to wait for time to do its healing. Sending lots of thoughts to you x

Yellowtomato - I'm exactly the same about wanting to tell random people and blurting it out to those I know as well (v reassuring to know it's not just me). I did end up telling another female colleague today who was just lovely and I'm glad I did. Interesting re: your psychotherapy training - I can understand you not wanting it to be known for the rest of the course. I hope you are enjoying the course anyway.

RE: bleeding - one week on I am still bleeding like a light-ish period but I think that it's been that way since I stopped taking the methergine. I think it's a question of everyone's different and what's normal will vary quite a lot. I do think I have a case of oral thrush from the antibiotics though - nice!

Hope the rest of you are having nice Sundays.

Oh nurse I'm so sorry that you're feeling so upset. Not sure if it helps but after my first mc i found out that my business partner had got pregnant 3 weeks after me so had to go through her whole pregnancy thinking that should be me plus 3 weeks. It wasn't easy and it isn't now seeing her with her 6 month baby but somehow I've found a way to cope with it.
I really understand the 'it's not fair' and 'where's my baby' feeling. Everytime there is an announcement or baby pics etc i feel the same. I am happy for them but I do wonder when/if it'll be my turn.
It will be tough seeing her pregnancy and baby but you will manage, it is a cliche but time does make things hurt a little less. it doesn't go away but you learn to cope with it a little better. Please know that we are here for you and feel free to rant and rage as it will hopefully help you a little to get it out.

wonnay hurrah re the tax, so much fun to work out what to do with unexpected money. The plans you can make are almost more fun than the actual spending.
And I totally emphasise with the not being sure if I want sympathy or not. Part of me almost feels like telling people in the street/supermarket etc 'be nice to me, have you any idea what I've been through' In the same way I'm doing psychotherapy training and we role play but with our real issues but I've so far not mentioned this. It'd be such a bombshell and wouldn't want to be 'known' for this for the rest of the course. But at the same time when people are talking about the hard week they have I do feel like blurting 'but what about me, I've had a mc and ERPC and it's my second' That would at least cause a big reaction and bit of a drama and lots of sympathy but at the same time I'm not sure if I want that. it is a funny feeling and I guess I feel reassured that you feel the same way!
My brain is also not working properly. I am sleeping well but very very tired still. And i feel like I just can't concentrate on anything and keep forgetting things...it is even a bit of challenge to follow a recipe for example, never mind anything more challenging.

Star re bleeding mine went brown for a couple of days before stopping, so sound perfectly normal to me.

You know I think we are all going to have our little set backs and our down days as we venture out into the world again. i feel mainly ok but haven't really been anywhere, done anything or seen anyone except DP. It feels really safe but I think I am still feeling vulnerable so could easily take a 'knock' in the real world with something that wouldn't normally bother me iykwim

Big hugs to everyone, hope you're doing ok.