TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

Hi Star yes, i live in London but haven't actually been to the Winter Wonderland :) sorry can't help! x

Also, Beesok, is it London you're in? Just wondered if you'd been down to Winter Wonderland, at Hyde Park, before and what you thought of it? Considering going next month as DH down with work on the Saturday so thought we'd stop Saturday night and go on Sunday.

Thanks guys :). I do think i'm a bit strange though. The only film i've cried at is Marley and Me (during a flight i might add!). I cry at really inappropriate times though, like we've had a problem with DS's attention at school so i'd gone it in to see the head and got really upset about it. I think i try as much as possible to hold in emotion but then it bubbles up at times and people must think i'm insane. Not sure why i do this but never mind, i feel better now, thanks.

Sorry also to bring up the weight issue, was just pointing out that i'd put on quite a bit proportionatly :). I am also booby. I'm normally a 34 DD in my trusty Freya bras but bizarrely in a 32 F following the pregnancy. Hope they go down a bit again.

Gosh how awful MrsB, after 9 weeks i'm sure you weren't thinking about coming up against comments like this. It must have really hit you hard.

Lol at Wonnay nearly steamrollering said pregnant woman. Not really funny of course.....but hehe!! All the best for the new job too.

Yellow, sorry lovely but i don't think you will be able to better protect yourself next time. All you will do is inwardly grieve as even though you wont voice excitement to others, you will still do all this subconciously and it will still be an upset. It's just that others wont have witnessed the excitement or you wont have voiced it out loud. I think just do as always. Look forward to what the pregnancy could bring but be aware that there could be complications at any stage. All worry and excitement in moderation. :) Smile :o

hey everyone I am really really tired and you have all been busy chatting so apologies for not responding personally to everyone,

re check ups my dr told me to come back a week after I get my period for a scan and check up to make sure everything is clear and that my lining is regenerating etc..

honestly, I think work is good, when I am busy I have less time to think and in my job I rarely have a "quiet" moment so don't really have any time to feel sorry for myself, need to keep it calm in front of the children - they pick on every emotion and it's not fair on them but hey, I am NO hero I have had moments when I just had to get out for a coffee/sob and thankfully everyone in my centre who knows is very supportive and some of the parents that I have a close relationship and had told about have been really sweet too - one had exactly the same situation as me/us in February and now she is pregnant and due around Valentine's day so I keep reminding myself of her example.

Don't know about you guys but deep down in my mind I am hoping to be pregnant by Jan/Feb and that is the only thing that's keeping me sane and emotionally stable.....I know it's a dangerous thought to hang on to but I can't help it.

have a good evening ladies xxxxxxx

so much for me thinking positively, had someone ask me today to see my bump.... She obviously didnt know id lost the baby 9 weeks ago!!!
I do a regional job within retail so see people once in a while, its a good job id already had that happen to me twice in the last 9 weeks as it would of really set me back, i managed a calm, id lost the baby 9 weeks ago, without bursting into tears!! Is it going to get any easier i ask???
I think im trying to put on this positive, strong front but actually every day is a struggle!! Its getting easier day by day, but theres not a day i dont think, what if?? Its so sad....

yellowtomato - sorry to hear you're having a bit of a glum day - sending lots of warm thoughts your way.

re: follow up appointment - my ob/gyn said to make one for 2 weeks after op but for some reason I keep forgetting to make it and she's always really booked up - have made a diary reminder for first thing tomorrow!

sparkly - poor you with a cold too. Def time to head home for some rest I'm sure.

star - not strange at all. I sometimes find I don't cry at this I "should" cry about but then I'm a total blubber at films that shouldn't make me cry (had to be v quiet when blubbing in cinema the other day when one of the Harry Potter characters croaked it!) Re: work - it has been a good distraction but I have found I'm not as motivated as I should be, particularly as I've been asked to run a couple of new initiatives that I would normally be v excited about.... I guess it's a matter of time. I actually applied for a new job yesterday which felt as if it had been written for me. It seemed a bit mad applying for it if I'm planning to get PG, but I figured I can't put my life on hold forever....

Still feeling very angry / envious / mixed up when I see other PG women and almost barged my way past one today. Also avoiding facebook right now.

meltobe - I'm an English girl abroad too so also private but even so, it's a bit hit and miss.

nurse - most impressed with your title! and goodness, take advantage of what you can at work, heaven knows you nurses work hard enough!

Hi to everyone else.

also another random thought.....ok so we will stay in 'denial' about the pregnancy until the 12 week scan, but how in reality to achieve that? If I am not drinking that means I cannot go and see any of my friends without seeing them.

I am constantly checking on boobs, knickers for signs and symptoms.

I just can't see how to protect myself better next time...it is so tough but just doesn't seem possible to me.

I guess this time I was a bit like 'well I've had one mc so statistically it's not likely to happen to me again.....' but here I am.

Anyway, probably not making much sense. As you were!

I was told that I did not need any follow-up and that I should see my GP if anything worried me.

Like yellowtomato I cried on the day of my scan and that was it.

Sparkly, I hope your cold gets better soon.

Hello sparkly poor you with a cold, hope you feel better soon. I'm 5ft 3 and 10st 7 so think a diet is def on the cards. Well I'm on day 2 of the diet and v hungry. I don't have any full length mirrors at home and just caught sight of my massive tum in the mirrors here........how did it get so big? So annoying....love food......oh I guess that may be a clue!
star re working, I have my own business so it is kind of like being at work when I go and see clients but also I work a lot from home. i guess on the one had doing work is a bit of a distraction but on the other i do feel very vulnerable and wouldn't cope well with someone being annoyed or aggressive with me. Also I haven't cried that much either. I had some tears on the day i found out but only for a few mins and it didn't go as far as sobbing. Since then there have been a few occasions of tears in the eyes but nothing more. We are all different and deal with things in different ways and you just need to be gentle and kind to yourself. And eat chocolate

Does anyone else know if they are having a follow up after an ERPC to check it's all ok? It must be tough having a lot of scans meltobe but I guess at least you'll know for sure when it's all sorted out. Which I really hope for you will be soon.

nurse I really am glad to see you feeling more positive, we're all making progress on the rocky road to recovery. I hope we are all pg by our due dates, however, I know I wasn't last time and as I'd had that as a deadline it made the date even harder. I hate the due date and wish I didn't know what it was because it is burned into my brain.

Sorry this was meant to be a positive post, just feeling really very tired today. I think a very early night tonight will sort me out although chocolate would probably help that too but trying to resist at least until I can fit into some of my clothes again.

Oh not at all sparkly....I just wanted to give you your very own message, honest! . Sorry you're poorly, look after yourself and make sure you eat plenty of chocolate vegetables to aid your recovery

Oh yes, miss me out again! Hi everyone, I've got a stinking cold so won't say much as it'll be nonsense. I'm 5ft 5 and 11 stone so now thinking I'm hee-yooge! It's mostly boobs and brain though, ha! Star, don't worry about not crying, it's not how everyone expresses themselves by any means. I didn't cry at my Nan's funeral, sometimes things either don't sink in or are so momentous that they almost require a different response that hasn't been learnt yet, so the default is to carry on as normal. I don't know if that makes sense, blame the lemsip! Off for soup so can't linger, I may be back later when I have skived off gone home sick x

Sorry sparkly, to you too

Hey ladies

Thanks for your welcomes. I completely agree with everyone's sentiment who say they won't relax until they're in the all clear next time (there WILL be a next time for us all ). I must admit to taking that a step further and not relaxing until I have that little bundle in my arms...and then the worry begins all over again...!

brought I'd forgotten you'd gone natural too, how is your physical recovery going? My bleeding is next to nothing now which I'm a bit annoyed about as there's still tissue remaining. You mustn't feel greedy about already having 2 dcs, this is my first experience with the whole thing but I do have hope that it will happen. You mustn't feel bad for not wanting to hear about your friends pg updates, it's completely natural. And you're allowed to vent on here, we're the last ones to judge as I'm sure we all pretty much feel the same.

Beesok I was really sad to read about your nct email. You sound wonderfully strong, especially working where you do.

Hi MrsB33, I like your positivity name change .

Nurse I'm so glad you had a good day at work. I completely related to your feelings of absolute unhappiness and wondered too if I needed ADs. But it sounds like you had a really good day yesterday. I do believe we'll all start having more of those as time goes on.

at wonnay and running and anyone I may have missed...

Hi yellowtomato you'd asked how they know if all the tissue is out? I'm an English girl currently living abroad - the health here is all private so everything is done directly with my OB who is still scanning me so last week was my first scan since the mc which is how he saw the tissue. It's pretty depressing going for the scans though, as the sight of an empty uterus (besides the tissue) is bleak. Not to mention the cyst which looks huge on the screen!

Star I wouldn't worry about the amount of tears (or lack of) you have. I do think it's important to grieve but we all do it in different ways. You are certainly not cold hearted . I totally agree with wanting to be pregnant by by due date.

Sex? What's that?! I think I've forgotten how!

Hi all!!

Still not got myself to the gym......oh dear. It will be done this week!! I hopped on the scales this morning and was 9st12 (i'm 5'6") and i'm normally about 9st7, never less than 9st4 though. Looks like i've put on about 5 pounds. I definately feel bigger around my middle so would like to get rid of it in timje for Christmas :). I know, i know....i'll probably just put it back on again over the festive period but better that than add on more to what i already am!!

Hope you're bearing up ok this morning Brought. All normal feelings i'm sure and it doesn't make you nasty at all. Just shows you're grieving and working through your feelings.

Nurse, in a way, i do think it would help if i knew i was pregnant by my due date as it would take the significance away a little from the date.

Good luck at your pilates class Yellow. Maybe get there a little early to speak to her if that's at all possible. Also i've not been told i have any follow up appointment which i find strange. Same goes for you MrsB with your class this week. Let us know how you get on. I've never done it before. :)

Sparkly, you seem to be a girl after my own heart......wine and chocolate is a common evening pastime for me too!! :o

Have you girls who work found it has helped or hindered that you've been at work whilst all this has been going on? I can see the pros and cons to both options so wondered how you found it.

I have something to admit. I haven't actually cried over all of this although have felt myself about to but held it back (more when i've been explaining what's happened to people). Am i wierd? I am a bit of a bottler but feel strange how most of you have been openly upset and cried. I feel like i'm a cold hearted b*** or something. :(

On a brighter note, enjoy your day and i hope something makes you smile today......what do you all think of snow by the weekend????

Morning All! Hope everyone has a good day today. I really need to get myself fitter and lose some weight. Not sure how I am going to manage it though. DH will be away for most of the next month so I have no free time for myself (work full time plus DD to look after). I think I will have to just try to eat sensibly for the rest of this year and then join a gym in the new year.

Eat sensibly? Who am I kidding? I am at work now, so I am about to have my usual morning danish.

Morning all

broughthim you are not nasty at all, it is so normal to feel as you do. And it is good that you can express it here rather than bottling it up. Please don't be hard on yourself for having some jealous feelings, I'd be surprised if you didn't.

welcome running and meltobe

Re sex, I was told to wait 2 weeks to allow cervix to close/avoid infection but I can't remember if they also said 'or when bleeding stops'. But in any case I'm waiting 2 weeks to be on the safe side.
I was wondering how they know for sure if they got all the tissue out? Apparently I'll have a follow up in 6 weeks but not a scan?
I feel in a weird kind of limbo waiting for a sign things have got back to normal but I guess the 'best' sign would be a period and that isn't due for some time I suppose.

Re weight gain, I'm not sure how but without putting on weight I put on fat on my tummy and hips. It is so weird because I was less hungry during pg and so eating less and more healthily and no alcohol.......so how did I manage to put on so much fat....and more importantly why hasn't it gone! grrrrr
I am planning to go to pilates this week but I had told the teacher my news so not really looking forward to telling her otherwise, I fear I might breakdown in the class.

I agree that up and down days are normal. I had a full on busy day yesterday and felt quite drained and emotional by the time I got home in the evening. I put that down to the strain of wearing the 'mask' all day and keeping myself together.

Hope you all have a good day, bon courage to us all.

Morning Ladies, glad you are feeling a bit brighter today nurse

I have 2 friends having 20 week scans to find out the sex of their babies today. So I will be staying away from my facebook today!
They both have their first scan photos as their profile and one of them is always moaning about being sick, I would so love to be having MS right now . It is both of them first and one of them thought she couldn't have children after having chemo for a brain tumour so can't blame them for being so excited. Now I have written that down I feel really nasty and so wish I wasn't so jealous.
Hope you all have a nice day xxxx

Morning all and welcome to running - hope you are recovering as well as you can.

Beesok - I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to be in your work environment right now and I have massive admiration for your strength to continue. I do hope you have some good support there.

Nurse - v glad to read that work wasn't too bad and that you're feeling a bit better. I'm sure we're all going to have our blip moments / hours / days / weeks. How handy to be able to do your bloods at work! What sort of nurse are you if you don't mind me asking?

MrsB33 - well done on booking up your pilates classes - I've done a couple and found it v hard to do properly - I really had to concentrate!

meltobe - your post about posting made me chuckle - I was exactly the same and now you can't keep me off here! I do hope you get your remaining issues sorted asap.

brought - good to hear that you have both decided on another try and enjoy the PG free festive period!

sparklywine (love your name by the way) - I know just what you mean re: time with your DH - gives you a new appreciation, don't you think?

star, yellowtomato - how are you guys doing?

Wishing you all a positive Tuesday! x

I agree beesok and brought, next time round im not going to even except im pg until ive seen that 12 week scan.
And thanks to you guys ive booked myself onto two pilates classes this week to try and get myself back into pre-mc shape again..

p.s have had a name change in spirit of my new positive outlook on things, lets see how long this one lasts....

previously rachk32

hey guys! welcome to new/old faces ;)

I don't check the jue in june thread anymore - sort of lost interest in it and they are a chatty lot so hard to catch up but it's the little things that "remind" me - like the NCT email :(

Also, as I've mentioned before, I work in a children's centre and they have baby drop in a few times a week, it was very difficult for me to see all the mums with their tiny babies in today :( Sometimes I think about it and it's just a piercing feeling in my heart and I really have to hold back the tears, other times I can talk about it with zero emotion - depends on the day, I guess.

I am def trying to get in shape - did a pretty good job before I got pg but then of course eased of on the training and I did put on a few kgs over the past three weeks - mainly due to depressed mood and not wanting to leave the house...

re sex it's only 4 days post op for me and frankly I am a bit "scared" of it - sounds silly, I know. I decided to wait a few more days and see how I feel, still have minimal spotting so will probably wait for that to ease off. Poor hubby must be suffering but he's being very understanding about it :)

brought I totally agree about the 12 week scan - honestly, next time I am going to keep my cool or try to at least and NOT get hyper over baby stuff until I get the all clear........well, I'll try at least! :)

Hi Ladies, and welcome to the newbies, although I'm sad for the circumstances of course.
sparlywine and meltobe make it a mars related choc bar if u don't mind that will keep me in work!
I was a "natural" too meltobe

I found it too hard to keep in with the jue in june thread and removed it from my watch list quite quickly, although I did make a mental note to look in on them and wish them all luck as they got closer to their due dates. Hopefully we will all be PG and past the danger zone by then. We have decided to give it one more go after christmas and if that ends in M/C then I will accept that is it for us, and as far as I am concerned I am definately not thinking of myself as pregnant until I have had a healthy 12 week scan. Maybe tests should say "over the first hurdle" instead of pregnant!
I am so lucky to already have 2 and feel a bit greedy sometimes wanting more when I hear you first timers having such a difficult time.

Hi running, sorry to see you on here but welcome. I think I'll be thinking about ttc after Christmas too.

sparkly I like your style, I'm much prefering kitkats to the gym at the moment! Whilst pg they discovered I had a 5cm ovarian cyst which is still there. It is being monitored and I may need to get something done but they're concentrating on my weird hcg levels and remaining tissue first. Anyway that was a roundabout excuse reason for me not being able to get to the gym as they said I can't do any exercise because of the cyst. Grrr, I just want to be back to normal, I don't even feel like I'm back to square one yet.