TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

Wow, we've popped up on Most Active for some reason! I always have a flick through to see what people are talking about. Anyone else follow the woman seeing how long it took to poo out the little piece of lego by any chance?
Christmas Do day today so the mood in the office is bouyant. I've foolishly kindly offered to babysit my 2 year old niece tomorrow night so will have to take it fairly easy, she is quite exhausting. It's X-Factor final night so I will be mooting a cosy early night and sending DH up to do the bedtime stories, he loves a silly voice (you can only imagine his 'Elvis from Fireman Sam' )
Had some period-type pains last night so expecting it to arrive shortly, which will be bob on one month since my last AF, at least things seem back to normal. I really feel I can relax and ejoy Christmas now, and start in earnest next year. Might get some ov sticks, anyone find them worthwhile?
I'm 37 next month, so am hoping this will be my 'favourite age' so far. Yellow, know what I thought when you said miscarriage risk increases dramatically at 39? "What about my second one?!" Talk about glass half empty One step at a time, eh? Have a good Friday, ladies x

hello winter I am a bit scared about the AMH test but as my Mum keeps telling me she had her menopause at 38 I guess I'd prefer to know how long I've got!
Yes i am 37 and on second mc so the good news is he thought we are far from a hopeless case even with it normally taking a year for me to get pg. Will let you know when I get my letter which has details of the actual tests!
I am very impressed with how healthy you have been, I've started my Xmas drinking early in order to build up my stamina And thanks for the EWCM update....i think I had the same thing. I normally just have it for one day but it went on for a good 7 days this time.

I forgot to say last time hello sparkly glad you are ok. you don't have to have anything witty to say to post....just waffle on like I do!
nurse Thanks for the af I update, i wondered how it would be. After my first mc my periods were a lot heavier and have stayed that way. Hope they don't get worse again....
Right must dash to the last day of my course.
Have a good day everyone

Hey yellowtomato and thanks so much for the lowdown on your appointment and so glad that your consultant was both knowledgeable and nice. Very interesting to hear re: the facts and figures. I'm 37 (as I think you are?) and this was my 2nd mc (I think yours was too?) so I'm very eager to hear all he had to say. Chuckled re: the lederhosen 4! V brave of you to do the AMH test - fingers crossed for good news on that and all the others (and the 2ww, kind of)and enjoy the tea and sunshine!

Feeling terribly virtuous at the moment as had super healthy salad for lunch, only a jacket potato for dinner and also managed an 8k run outside - is my halo still shining....? I'm probably just making up in advance for the highly boozy xmas do tomorrow night!

hello ladies

MrsB a ball in germany, how glamourous!

nurse i have used ov sticks before but found my EWCM to be more reliable....

winterwombat glad you are feeling more cheery and that the psychologist is helping. I think it is so useful to have the uninterrupted time to just talk about yourself.

I am kind of on the 2ww, we've done it twice (whoo hoo!) but not sure if it was the right time or not cos the EWCM seemed to last all week!

In other news I went to see the consultant today. He was very nice and full of facts. He said that 5% of couples have 2 miscarriages but that in medical terms 5% is a lot.....so I guess you ladies who have had one miscarriage the odds are in your favour that you won't have another. He also said that the age when miscarriage risk increases dramatically is not 35 as I thought but 39......so i am young after all
He's organised lots of tests but I'm not certain which ones cos I didn't write it all down because I felt a bit shy about getting my pad and pen out. But he did say he'd write it all down for me and send it. I had about 5 vials of blood done today but have to go to St Marys in Paddington for the other 2 tests because they have to be done within 2 hours of you giving the blood. i know one of the tests was lupus and one sounded like factor 4 lederhosen....tee hee. i will google later. But also he did the AMH test which tells you how many eggs you have left. i had wanted to have that one done although the results could be scary. i think he said that a number of the tests were for blood clotting disorders.
he was really nice and I feel good that we have done something positive. We're to go back in about a month to get the results.
i think i'm still processing it but overall he made me feel that it is all perfectly normal and that there is probably nothing wrong but it is also a good idea to double check.
Right must get on as my sister in law is coming to stay tomorrow and she sleeps in my office which is a total mess. And then I'm off to meet a friend for afternoon tea...yum.
Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine.

Oooh MrsB - a ball in Germany - what fun! Enjoy and happy birthday!

Nurse, Nurse (couldn't resist the double up ) - I used the ov sticks last time and it worked first time! However, it does kind of put added pressure on as you know that you have done it on the "right" date and expectations can be raised higher and then you get dashed lower.... on the other hand, it does take some of the guesswork out of it. I do know what you mean about feeling the need to be pg to move on - it's the seemingly slowing down of time that's so hard, especially when you're thinking about it all the time.

I'm not really on the 2ww but seeing as we didn't take precautions last weekend, I kind of feel I could be, particularly as there was plenty of EWCM around. However, not quite sure what is going on down there as there is still plenty of EWCM being produced - about 10 days now and and a bit . I'm wondering if it could be down to the mild infection they picked up, but (TMI alert coming up) it's not at all smelly or discoloured. Anyone else having this post MC? I'd like to get an AF in a couple of weeks just to know that things are back to normal.

As you can probably tell, I'm feeling much perkier than I was a few days ago. I think it helped massively being able to talk about it non-stop for an hour with the psychologist. Plus I have an afternoon of beauty pampering tomorrow afternoon before DH Xmas bash which is always a good laugh.

How's everyone else?

hi ladies, thought id drop in with an update as have a busy few days ahead, bday fri then off to germany for the weekend at a ball with my hubby and friends.
Well this week has been THE WEEK!! Tested my ov with the sticks and only got one positive, sunday so fingers crossed its worked!! As according to ff my most fertile day is today??? Derrrrrr....
Well amyway, Ill find out the 22nd so will pop back in and gove you all an update then.
Hope you ladies are all well. Speak soon xx

Hi everyone
I'm back from a few days internet silence after being on a course (yawn emocion) nothing useful like yellow boring sales course. I am so not a born salesperson and really hope I get preggers soon so I can give it up!

I too am really impressed with the gym action going on in this group, running is my only exercise and there is no way that is going on around here at the moment unless I do it in ice skates!

So nurse you have your period! great news (ish) I will be happy when mine comes then I can start thinking about fertile days etc. I would drive myself to an early grave if I used a proper ovulation testing method! Your "friend" doesn't actually sound very nice........ hope you are ok x and don't worry about not having been here a while you make up for it by saying everything twice
xxxx

Hi laydees! Sorry to worry you with my silence, I've been popping in and out keeping updated with you all, thanks for thinking of me

Haven't posted as had nothing smartarsed amusing to cheer you up with, and the EWCM phase passed unhindered by coupling of any kind because we couldn't heave our fat arses off the sofa. Bit sad about that in retrospect but drink like a fish over Christmas so it's for the best

I intend to go on a health kick in the New Year, lose weight, get less weezy fit and take full advantage of EWCM. Feeling broody in the sense of wanting a little babygro'd bundle to cuddle but I think that's just the prevailing sense of family at the moment, and maybe because my niece is 8 weeks old tomorrow and is becoming a proper little bundle of cuteness now. Also because I am terribly superficial and just want to to buy cute things for my baby, and impress with how Christmassy and attractive we both are, as we waft through John Lewis smiling angelically

Gosh yellow - your poor employee and you - what a tricky situation for you both to be in. I hope you can get some support from each other. Glad you are feeling a bit more normal despite "the rage" and your victims of crime training - heavy stuff!

How's the snow in the UK right now? Pain in the a+se or putting you in the festive mood?

brought, sparkly, mrsb - how are lovely ladies this fine Tuesday?

Wow winter you don't hang about do you? Talk about a woman of action! Glad the links helped and also that you got on well with your counsellor. It is totally normal to feel tired after a session, i normally feel quite exhausted the next day if it has been a particularly emotional one.
I did tell her about me the week after the op. She was upset and had tears when I told her which I thought was odd but I guess she must have felt awful cos she was at the same stage as me and hadn't/didn't want to say anything.

beesok i am totally jealous impressed with your gym attendance and results achieved. I seem to just be too lazy tired at the moment to get stuck in. But I am hating having the extra weight.

I think I am feeling a bit more 'normal' now although I do have 'the rage'. I am normally fairly even tempered but at the moment some things make me beyond furious. Don't get me started on Royal mail.....

And sparkly, sparkly where are you? I hope you are feeling better but even if not come and talk to us.

right off to day 4 of training. It's all about victims of crime......I didn't sleep too well last night with it all going round in my head. Must learn to compartmentalise!

Morning all and thank you v much for all your lovely comments and useful links and tips. It's really fab to have this support here.

When I called yesterday to make an appointment with the one person who had been recommended to me (there is not a huge choice here in the sandpit), she had a cancellation that day and so I decided to bite the bullet and see her (and she was English too so fortunately no language barriers). She was very good at putting me at my ease, empathisising, asking the right questions and making me feel normal. In my job and at home, I tend to be the one doing the listening and so it was wonderful to be listened to and get a lot off my chest - I think that a lot of the thoughts were going round and round in my head and getting all tangled up in themselves and it's not until you say them out loud that they begin to make a bit of sense. Felt quite exhausted afterwards and ended up having a half hour nap, but definitely felt better after that. I have a bit of "homework" to do in between our next session which is scheduled for a couple of weeks.

yellowtomato - a big thank you for those links - lots of good info on theose websistes and it definitely makes a bit more sense of all the different types. The person-centred therarpy you have experienced sounds very positive. I'm even more impressed with the training you are undergoing - sounds as if there is an awful lot to learn.... so sorry to read about your employee - that must have been really hard. Did she / does she know about you?

koolforcats - wonderful advice re: the lactobillus - I'm heading to the health shop at lunch time today - thank you! Very glad for you and beesok that you feel you have turned a bit of a corner - I like reading about positivity on this thread.

kitkey - symptom spotting is a sure way to drive yourself a bit mad, but we all do it! Hope you feel better soon.

Nurse - grrrr re: your friend.... re: first period, from what I've read, it's anything goes - it could be lighter, heavier, shorter, longer than usual so that's really helpful isn't it?!

How is everyone else today?

Thanks again for all your support ladies - you got the first mention in the session yesterday when she asked what I was doing to help myself!

Beesok I totally agree about the NCT's insensitivity. All I can imagine is that refunds are dealt with by people in a department who just deal with the money side of things. It surely couldn't have been that difficult for someone to pop a quick note in though, like you said

wombat when I just namechanged I was struck by my due date too, it's very hard isn't it. I've been seeing a counsellor for a while now - I'm not sure what type of therapy it is but I do find it really helpful. I wish you luck with finding the right type and the right person for you. Also, re antibiotics - if ever I have to take them I used to often end up with thrush but was given fantastic advice by my doctor a couple of years ago to go to the health food shop and get some "acidophillus lactobacillus" (they'll know exactly what you mean in the shop!). I know it's a bit of a mouthful but it's just a probiotic. She said the probiotic drinks and regular vitamins which claim to be probiotic just aren't strong enough and don't have enough 'friendly bacteria' but the pure ones are really good. They're usually in the fridge in the health food shop. I was a bit sceptical but they really did the trick for me.

nurse I'm very at your friend. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she soon thinks about it and realises how insensitive she was. I do hope so.

Beesok I too kind of feel like I've turned a bit of a corner this week. I'm sure there will still be some down days but time is definitely making things seem less raw. Mind you when I first thought I was feeling better it led me to feeling guilty that I was feeling better....can't win!

sparkly how are you doing?

Thanks winterwombat (like the name change!) and yellow - good luck with your appt on Thursday.

wonnay sorry to hear you're feeling down - I do hope it gets better for you and maybe Christmas will be a good time to rest and just think of happier things...

nurse sorry but I agree your friend is soooo insensitive (trying to be polite here - I wanted to use the b word

I am off to the gym in 10 .....soooo don't feel like it but have a session with my trainer so can't cancel and at least I will be told what to do ;) I ran by myself Fri - Sun and must say can see the difference in my legs and tummy already!

Something weird has happened to me lately - I am still a little upset about the mc but I am finding that I don't cry as much at "triggers" and actually find myself secretly hoping that I don't get pg for a while...it's almost like my brian has gone to shut down mode - don't want to talk about babies, think about babies let alone have a baby.......even FB pics of recent newborns don't make me weep or jealous....
I think this is a reaction - maybe my brian is in denial and trying to protect itself but honestly I have felt so much better over the past week...

We are ofcourse still trying not bothering with protection and ultimately I want a 2011 baby but I;m not in as much of a rush panic now and sort of calmed down about the whole thing.

He he he watch this space in a week ;)

Afternoon all, hope you've had a good day?
I've just found out my employee has had bad news at her 12 week scan today......that is almost exactly where I would have been. Feel quite winded....so sorry for her but also brings it all back. Arrrggghhh, why do these horrid things have to happen? i didn't even know she was pregnant.....

Hi wombat sorry to hear that you are struggling a bit at the moment. I think that the lack of focus and the up and downness is totally normal after what we've been through and I think that we are sometimes a bit impatient about the timescale within which we 'should' be feeling better.
Having said that I am a big fan of therapy! I have had 'person centred' therapy for some years and it has been particularly helpful at this time. I don't think you are in the UK are you? but these 2 websites from the main organisations for counselling and psychotherapy have some info about the types of therapy and what to look for in a counsellor. Kitkey is right that CBT is the most common, short, solution focused type of therapy. It tends to just look at changing your thought patterns from negative to positive and giving a practical way forward. Sounds like that could be useful for you right now. I'm really only at the beginning of my training so not really an expert..... but these links might give you more info so you can know what the terms mean etc. types of therapy If you look at the link on the left it also has a section finding the right therapist. At the bottom has some questions to ask/think about etc. This website is the same type of organisation you might find it helpful about therapies

Poor you re anti-bs, I haven't heard anything about my check-up yet

kitkey sorry that you are feeling down. I hope that with the kids getting excited about Xmas this may take your mind off it a little and you can start to heal. But once again I do think seeking help with a counsellor or something can also be v useful.

Sorry have to dash cos going to a training and apparently my tube line has 'severe delays' oh the joy on a cold Monday morning!

Sorry about your infection winderwombatland - at least it has been spotted whilst it is only mild so it won't cause any problems. I understand how you are feeling - ttc and the mc is occupying my every waking moment and I hate getting up in the morning as have to face real life. I'm no expert but what you are talking about sounds like cognitive behavioural therapy which I think will help in your situation - I think is focuses on helping you to correct the the negative thought cycles you have - but I'm no expert, just looked a bit into it for myself when i have been low before. Sleeping is so much better for me right now. My kids are distracting but not totally as the thoughts are always there on the back burner and as soon as they are quiet I am back to obsessing. My patience is very low. I think if I don't feel better after Xmas I will do something about my mood as it is nearly 3 weeks since my mc and I feel really down. The mc seems to be behind me but I just feel that my body is doing nothing to get back to normal. My boobs hurt but I have no EWCM or signs that there is going to be ovulation any time soon. I have has a diagnosis of PCOS at 19 when my period when AWOL for a good few months but I have manged 3 pregnancies now so thought it wasn't really an issue - have got it into my head that this is now a major issue for me and I will never ovulate again. I am crackers already and am going even madder looking for ovulation symptoms. I would have expected it around now - 3 weeks after ERPC leading to a period 5 weeks after - sounds right to me as they said to expect a period 4-6 weeks after ERPC.

P.S. Sorry to be so miserable on a Monday morning

And just to add salt to the wound, I have just had a call from the nurse who works for my ob/gyn - the swab she took last week has shown a mild infection so that's antibiotics for me for the next 6 days which always seem to give me a dose of thrush too - lovely!

Bah bloody humbug.....

Morning all.

Please do report back yellowtomato and fingers crossed you get some answers at least. Fingers crossed also your pre-seed isn't lost...!

I had a bad afternoon yesterday - when I changed my name, I had to go into my account to do it and sitting there was the calendar where you can enter your due date - it didn't hit me at first, but on the drive home I became more and more sad and wasn't in a great state by the time I got home. DH was great though (and a couple of glasses of vino helped too ). I have decided that I am going to speak to someone about this - I have been considering finding a coach for a while to help me get some focus at work and look at long-term career issues and I know that I definitely need one now as I'm achieveing virtually nothing during my working days and the MC / conception issues are definitely now impacting my work . What I want in a coach at the moment is someone who will listen to me get it all of my chest - I know that I need to do this before I can then talk about, and put into action, any next steps. So what I am doing is getting in touch with a psychotherapist here first who also uses "Brief Solution Focused Therapy" which I think may be a little like coaching. In fact yellowtomato - with your training, can you offer some advice on this - do you think the psychotherapist route is a good one? And in fact, anyone else who has any thoughts, your advice would be welcome - thanks x

Hello ladies

Beesok i think that they should have put a note in too.....it might be a 'policy' but it would just be showing some human kindness.

I also still have the weight that I put on. It really is unfair....and I know I didn't eat more at the time so was puzzled about where it came from but I am certainly not doing what I need to now to lose it again. So I just look more porky than usual.

Hurrah for everyone getting on with dtd...makes things feel a bit more back to normal. We're gonna get to it again today...which with all the EWCM might be a 'good' time or a 'bad' time depending on how you look at it cos we are meant to be waiting too! Tbh I don't really think it'll make much difference considering it took 12 months last time......

Am seeing the consultant on Thurs. Am trying not to build it up too much because I think it might be a bit of a let down as he won't have all the answers and I won't be pregnant just from seeing him......but I will report back anything useful.

I think I am going to try to hold off buying a CBFM as it'll just make me worse....still no sign of my preseed though....hope it doesn't get lost in the post. That could be embarrassing to report!