TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

Hi all,

I'm sorry you find yourself here dolly, its such a difficult time. I'm still a newbie to this thread too, but I'm finding its really helping to know that there are other people in the same situation and they're all so supportive. Hope you're taking care of yourself one day at a time. I had three weeks off work in total - one week before my erpc (straight after the scan that showed all wasn't well, I hadn't had any bleeding or pain at that point though and the thought of working while knowing that I could mc at any moment was a bit too much for me to handle), then I had a fortnight off to recover from the erpc itself. I bled the whole time, but I'm one of the unlucky ones - you should be fine. Emotionally though when I eventually went back to work I still felt distracted and miserable, so if I were you I'd take as long as you need x

So glad AF arrived for you kitkey, especially as you'd been so worried. Hopefully that means you can relax a bit and enjoy Christmas.

yellow I'm loving the idea of your Xmas playlist, I need a last-minute injection of festivity so I might copy your idea!

wombat Glad to hear that its helpful chatting to the psychologist, did you refer yourself? Am thinking come the New Year it might be helpful to have someone to chat to and offload a bit, still have lots of thoughts swirling round in my head that I wouldn't mind getting out (to someone who doesn't know me ideally so I don't feel like I'm burdening someone). This week I've been gutted because it was supposed to be our 12 week scan and telling everyone we were pg on Christmas Day. I think I'm the same as you, grieving for the lost plans as much as anything else. Hope it continues to help x

Good luck with the lurgy MrsB, hope you shake it off soon. I prescribe medicinal mulled wine or hot choc spiked with Baileys (you can tell I'm not a doctor )

I got asked for id out of the blue about six months ago in Tesco (am 31) and the woman on the checkout was so apologetic, but I told her she'd made my day! The woman in the queue behind begged to be asked for id too...! I think she was just new though, and sticking to the rules by the letter (rather than actually thinking I in any way resembled a fresh-faced 17 year old...)

ooohhh yellow, ive also kept the pre-seed a secret from my hubby, not really sure how he will react, can go either way really, he,l either think im a nutter and wont go anywhere near me or he,l think it gives him the divine right to bonk away whenever he likes as were using pre-seed!!! (he,l prob go with the later) so will avoid the conversation...
brought, rather chuffed but i also got asked for id in asda last week, was buying a bottle of cheap red for my mulled wine, obviously thought i was going to drink it on the street corner with my teenage friends!!! Lol, whilst eating my asda extra special mince pies, and wearing the pants for my dad!!!! Lol
anyway it was it truely made my dad!! In actual fact it was the day b4 my 33rd bday.... Not bad as i looked as ruff as a badgers bum!!!
Kitkey, glad your af as arrived, mine was also 5 weeks post mc, but has been very light up till now so fingers crossed this is the way its going to be now, looks like were possibly going to be in unison, with mine arriving last night, will be an interesting journey on the ttc train.

In bed with the dreaded lurgy ladies, so will be around alot over the next few days at this rate. X

Morning all

Hurrah for AF kitkey hopefully you can relax a little and enjoy Xmas now.....mine was almost exactly 5 weeks as well. Try not to examine it in too much detail as it might not be totally 'normal' but will be the month after. Mine has been heavier than usual but that's about the only difference.

MrsB33 Sorry you got af but good thinking on the pate/cheese eating and booze drinking, that is def an upside. We can both go on a pre-seed adventure next month. i haven't mentioned it to DP and going to try to get away without him noticing, not sure how possible that will be!

broughthim Google is evil, don't look! My af was heavier after first mc and stayed that way. Not sure if that is good or bad but I guess it's different for everyone. And i'm impressed with the age check.......i dream of being asked......maybe need to get some new face cream or something!

Hi Dolly you are very welcome here, am very sorry to hear about your mc. For me it was my second mc and i am nearly 38 and I haven't got any children either. I do understand what you mean about feeling time is running out but the 'what will be will be' philosophy is one I'm trying to stick to. I'm glad posting made you feel better, we're always here to listen.

Looks like there has been a bit of a thaw in the weather which is good news for me making it to France! Hurrah.

winter I've made an Xmas playlist on my ipod but have played it so much am not a bit sick of it!

On day 5 of af and think it's staring to calm down a bit...and then back to watching for ovulation signs. Oh the never ending roller coaster.......

Well well well Af arrived this morning bang on time in line with the Ovulation kit being positive 2 weeks ago and it is exactly 5 weeks post ERPC. I haven't even been waiting long. I think I have been being really psycho lately and hopefully it was hormone related and I will feel better now. Will be monitoring its heaviness I suspect because I am indeed nuts.

Hi dolly and welcome to the thread although sorry you have had to join us. You will indeed find great support here and re: heading back to work, I had a couple of days off with the first MC (natural) and then with the 2nd, I had an ERPC and then had a week off in the end, but three of those days were planned holidays anyway (grrr.... not how I'd choose to spend my time). I think I would have taken the time anyway even though I don't have a physical job. When I did return to work I was very unproductive for the first 2-3 weeks but it was good to at least be around other people. I went for my first run 5 days post ERPC and felt fine. It's different for everyone though, the only advice I would give is to not feel bad about taking all the time you need and don't be surprised if you're ok one day and not the next - it's quite a rollercoaster. Thinking of you lots x

Brought - my AF wasn't quite "normal" this month - light then heavy then light then heavy, but they do say anything goes with the first one post MC. That's brilliant re: the ID - what a lovely Christmas present!

Bummer re: AF Mrs B - as you say, at least you can enjoy all the festive treats.

I'm hoping to be ovulating within the next week so stocking up on OPKs later today - I can think of more exciting things to be buying at this time of year!

Hi dolly
So Sorry you have to join us and welcome to the thread. Regarding codes, there is an acynoms section on here linked at the top, AF isn't on the list but it stands for Aunt flo/ ah feck, monthly friend or worst enemy depending on your situation!
I was a natural, and had just a day off, as I am a bury your head in the sand kind of girl, I am not in a physical job at all, I waited about 2 to 3 weeks before I went for a run- the only physical thing I do.

Well one more AF for us before we start properly trying again, my AF which started out a bit heavier than usual, ended up being very normal and light, which has got me all paranoid that my hormones are not producing enough for one to get a good grip, damn google....

On a totally un TTC note......I got asked for ID in Asda the other day!!! I am 35! I was over the moon!!

Sending virtual mulled wines out to all xxxxx

af arrived ladies, kinda knew she would, so back to it again, just waiting on my pre-seed now, hopefully it will help me out next month... Cant be doing with all the stress of this ttc lark!!! Tried the temping and gave up, couldnt see anything that stood out on them tbh, there again wasnt really sure what i was meant to be looking for.... Anyway, least i can have a tipple this xmas, eat pate,soft cheese and plenty of nuts!!! Helps me to think that way!!! X

hi dolly welcome, but sorry youve found yourself with us. Me personally i took four weeks off with a weeks holiday added on, as i decided on a natural mc, so a weeks bed rest before hand, a week to miscarry and two weeks off to recover, i also have a physical job.

My story, 33 got pg (pregnant) with our first baby the month after our wedding. Started spotting at 13 weeks, same week as my dating scan, spotting turned into heavy bleeding and back ache so was booked in for a scan, where it ws discovered we had lost our baby at 8 weeks, so a missed miscarriage mmc on the 23rd sept, took me a week to naturally miscarry and 5 weeks to get my first af.

Im now on my first month of trying to conceive TTC as decided to wait three months, having to have my rubella injection, as found to be none immune whilst pg. Now waiting on my either my af or a bfp (af aunty flow, period) and (bfp big fat positive)

you,l find plenty of support on here dolly, were all at different stages ages ect but have all been through a miscarriage so can compleatly sympathize/support.

Tke care of yourself, get plenty of rest and time for yourself. Keep us updated on your progress. X

Hold on, a physical job? Involving exercise?!

Hi Dollly, welcome! Sorry you have found us under such sad circumstances, and Christmas does magnify these things, but you will find us a buoyant and supportive lot. Some people exercise but we are mostly like-minded
You sound a bit like me, I'm 37 next month and was 'not trying but not on contraception'; I got pregnant the month after having my implant removed, so missed the planning stage to a certain extent, but if recent events have proved anything it's that we really do want to give this a go now, you sound the same. I hope the overriding message anyway from us all is that, bar the odd blip, it does get better. You will also see we are obsessed with our periods arriving and take great delight in synching!
I had my erpc on the Friday and went back to work the following Friday but was hopeless, and took a few more days off the following week. Not physically unwell but mentally not in a position to function normally.
Big hugs to you, feel free to unburden when you need xx

Hello Ladies, I've just joined the site and I'm still trying to decipher all the codes but I've found reading everyones experiences a huge help and comfort.

My story, well we found out we were pregnant on Sun 28th Nov. We weren't trying but we didn't mind if it happened if you know what I mean. I'm 39 and never been pregnant before so when I kept spotting and had sore boobs I went to the doctor who referred me for a scan for possible endometriosis?! It wasn't until I fell asleep on the sofa which I never do my other half suggested I could be pregnant. I looked up my symptoms and it all seemed to look that way so we drove around all the late shops on a Sunday night looking for a test lol. We found one in a corner shop and it shot to positive immediately. OMG we were so happy, we couldn't get the grins off our faces. Unfortnately the happiness only lasted 5 days. On the friday I had a dull lower pain for about 40 mins then passed a huge clot! I knew it had gone. The docs referred me for a scan and they said there was no heartbeat but to return for another a week later. Again no growth or heartbeat. I would have been 6 weeks. I had to wait another 5 days so that was 2 weeks with no bleeding but knowing I was still carrying my 'pip' as we called it. I had an ERPC yesterday which has to be the worst thing in Christmas week. The first thing I did when I woke up from the anaestethic is cry, a massive feeling of emptiness. The other half was amazing though bless him.

Well we have decided to just go back to being us. We weren't trying in the first place but I guess not using any contraception just meant it was a matter of time anyway so we are just going to carry on like that. Everyone says it will happen when its meant to but I guess secretly in my head I want it to happen asap when I wasn't even thinking of it before. I miss that feeling of being pregnant and at 39 I feel time is running out.

Can I ask when you all returned to work? My job is very physical and I feel totally unprepared at the moment.

Thankyou, even writing this down has helped xxx

strawberry - totally understandable re: deleting pg friends - it doesn't sound bad at all. Somewhere earlier on this post I admitted that I almost shoulder barged a pg woman as we passed through revolving doors together - probably about the same stage you're at. Couldn't agree more re: coping better with AF arrival and ttc - FX for you x P.S. Loved your description of you and DH shovelling snow!

Had my 2nd appointment with the psychologist today which was really good again. I pinpointed (with her help obviously) that it's the loss of all the dreams and plans that's the hardest, particularly as I have quite a vivid imagination and play out scenarios in my head of what I'd say, what people's reactions would be etc. etc. Just being able to name what was making me sad has really helped. We probably spent half the session on the mcs and the rest on work and why I am finding it so hard to get motivated (which was going on pre MCs) which again was v helpful - didn't come up with anything concrete, but plenty to mull over.

Right, off to listen to Now That's What I Call Christmas that I just downloaded this morning on itunes - yay for Slade!

Morning all,

A mere 3 inches of snow here, freezing cold but I used it as an excuse to burn some calories by helping DH clear and grit the drive yesterday. Proudly pointed out to him that I was the only woman in the street who'd got out there and got stuck in with a shovel. Instead of being impressed he did the typical manly thing of telling me I wasn't doing it properly and was making more of a mess than clearing up!

manamana So sorry that you've found yourself here in such tough circumstances, my heart goes out to you and I hope you're looking after yourself right now x

kitkey FX that the GP finds everything in order and we see you back here soon. Good luck in the meantime and hope you enjoy Christmas the best you can x

yellow Good look for those final blood tests, am totally with you on not being ready for people's pg announcements - I've deleted two facebook friends in the last week because my head's just not in the right place for their daily 'me and bump' updates. Makes me feel a bit awful, but its all about self-preservation at the moment really isn't it? (Hope so, I feel even more guilty now because that sounds so much worse written down!)

So impressed at how you're all doing in the presence of pg ladies, am hoping that once AF arrives and DH and I are back ttc in earnest I'll be able to cope with it a little bit better. FX!

Thanks for your kind words yellow. That's a very good point re: the wise men - After all, Christmas was "invented" in the desert! Oooooh - so jealous re: gastro pub with fire and snow!

Morning all
kitkey I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling bad, I wish I could think of something useful or helpful to say. If staying away or only lurking helps then that's what you should do. I'll be thinking of you and sending some AF vibes in your direction. Hope you do manage to enjoy Xmas.
I'm impressed with the progress MrsB33, winter and nurse with dealing with pg people. I haven't had to test it out yet but I suspect I'm not quite at that accepting stage yet.
MrsB33 2 days to go....you know your body best but I'm still crossing fingers for a lovely BFP for you.
winter you shouldn't feel a fraud re psychologist just cos you are feeling better. And if you enjoy taking the time for yourself to talk that's part of what it's all about after all. You made me laugh with your Xmassy descriptions and then 'a camel comes into view'....I guess that could be with the 3 wise men? And don't worry I'll update you all about pre-seed adventures, I think it may be messy!
I went for a massive roast with friends in a 'gastro' pub yesterday with log fire and everything. And with all the snow outside it felt very Xmassy. V cold here today, minus 2!
I have my final 2 blood tests on Wednesday and then will get the results in 4 to 6 weeks. And will work on a BFP in the meantime.

Big wave to sparkly, strawberry, brought, star and kool.......how is everyone?

nurse and mrsb - lovely to hear that you are enjoying being with your pg friends and we hope to hear some good news from one of us soon - no pressure of course!

Just downloaded some xmas songs on i-tunes so feeling lovely and festive. Bring on the turkey!

Really sorry to hear that kitkey - thinking of you and sending lots of warm wishes. Do please lurk if it helps you x

Hi ladies, I'm not in a good place right now - got myself in a right state and think it is best if i don't think about ttc with you guys at the moment. The spotting stopped - 2 drops of blood so presume that was AF and will visit GP after xmas. Need to try and get a grip before xmas so can enjoy the kids I have. I have PCOS and now my body is in a mess from the ERPC so am in for the long haul. Good luck to you all - I might lurk but trying to stay away. Thanks for all your kindness.

glad you had a good nyt nurse, kindof the same with me and my friend whos pg too, shes 6 months now and has had 3 mc,s so feels very different with her no jealousy or anything, im actually chuffed for her...

Thanks for all the support ladies but honestly think its a bfn this month, i kinda knew i was pg the last time even though it was my 1st and wasnt sure what to expect, my senses were telling me i was pg, this time not.... Oh well only 3 days to wait now

Great news on your progress wombat, you can really see how far youve moved on when things like that happen.

Speak soon ladies

yellow - congrats on AF, which seems an odd thing to say given we are here on a conception bored but I hope you know what I mean. I know what you mean about the tiny bit of hope as were weren't quite SWI but neither were we SWOI.... You can keep us updated in a couple of weeks on your adventures with the pre-seed

mrsb - do keep us posted, we'll be hanging on for news.

nurse - hope your night out wasn't too hard with PG friend

sparkly - enjoyed hearing about your weekend away and the James concert - took me back a few years too!

brought - I have wandered over to Jue in June a couple of times with mixed reactions so am trying to stay off it, but it's hard. Hope you are feeling less sad now.

I had a bit of a breakthrough moment yesterday - saw a girl in the gym who I chat with occasionally who I've not seen for a while and thought she looked PG but didn't like to say anything. Anyway, she came over and told me she was 7 months and it was unplanned etc. etc. and while I was and for the first couple of minutes, I found I quite enjoyed chatting to her and even felt ever so slightly smug as I hopped on the treadmill to do a few kms knowing that I could and also then go and enjoy as many glasses of wine as I wanted - how's that for progress?! I have my 2nd appointment with the pyschologist tomorrow and feeling like a bit of a fraud to be honest but I think it will be good to speak to her again anyway.

Well, enjoy your Sundays ladies - have lots of roasties to stave off the cold!

manamana - sorry, typed too quick - v sorry that you have found yourself on this thread.

Afternoon all. Hope you are all staying nice and toasty. I'm currently sat at my desk at the office staring out over grey rooftops to the boring desert beyond and dreaming of snowball fights, log fires and copious amounts of mulled wine and mince pies - sigh..... I'm not complaining really - the tree went up this weekend and the presents are all bought and wrapped, the shops are full of carols and decorations so it all feels lovely and Christmassy, bar the odd camel coming into view!

manamana - v sorry that you have found yourself. I do hope that you find it a good support. The early days and weeks are very hard - be kind to yourself and your DH and don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Do you have good support of friends and family?

kitkey - how very frustrating for you - it must be an anxious time and it's no wonder that you feel as bad as you do. Thinking of you and sending lots of AF thoughts your way. They say it's not unusual for the first period to take up to 8 weeks post MC regardless of how the MC was managed.