TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

I should get those results by mid next week.

I think I will start a thread, maybe next week when I have a full set of results.

wellie sorry I didn't reply to you, thanks for your reply/hug/support

I think that the frustrating thing is that it seems there is nothing I can do except to carry on and hope. But not too much hope as I also need to be realistic. Yes women do have babies at 45 but are they their own eggs? I think even if I don't miscarry the chances of there being other problems are high.

sorry x-post with you yellow. Once again, I have huge admiration for your positivity and strength and you are NOT infecting the thread with gloom - while we can't relate to exactly how you are feeling, we are in this together and supporting you all the way through the good and the tougher times.

There are a number of stats etc, re: mc, again depending on where you read them and also every woman is completely unique.

I will take you up on your suggestion to continue to discuss ttc. I have decided to start charting and temping via fertilityfriend.com owing to v odd cycle this month. sparkly - I do use OPK POAS - just wish they weren't so flaming expensive here - they only do the digi clearblue ones - approx GBP40 for 7 sticks..... however, a good investment, methinks.

yellow - you are one special tomato x

Good idea sparkly with starting another thread on here - there is so much knowledge out there to share and far more accurate than Google. Yellow- V glad to hear that he has repeated the tests and done another couple for verification. When do you get those results?

Can't begin to imagine the range of emotions you must be feeling right now. Loads of hand holding from us all as you work through it.

sparkly sorry for infecting the thread with gloom :(

I have googled and have looked through mn for other experiences. What I've found out is that the result is def very low indeed.....so as to be in the 'almost undetectable' category.

The test seems to have been 'invented' in 2007 and is not available on NHS and is 70% accurate.

Some people seem to be saying that it is just about numbers rather than quality so even if you only do have say 20 eggs left, you only need 1 so that could be fine. But consultant seemed to say it was a quality indicator too.

some people have got pg with low score or even with IVF.

So it doesn't seem to be conclusive but it is not by any stretch a good result.

I'm not sure about the mc stats because I thought 1 in 4 ended in mc for everyone anyway. But his point seemed to be that the egg quality gets worse as you get older and although I am 'only' 37 my egg quality is 8 years older. and it is is at 45 when there would be much less chance of a successful pregnancy whether naturally or IVF because the rate of genetic abnormalities increases dramatically by that time.

I think all we can do is keep trying but try to manage our expectations down.

Thanks again for the support ladies. And please do continue to discuss ttc/pg (for those who are) symptoms etc because I can be happy for you guys whilst absorbing my news. I don't want you guys to think you can't discuss trivia/have fun on the thread now cos i've been so gloomy.

For eg we've got the big CDWM sparkly experience tomorrow to look forward to. :)

Yellow, so sorry the news was seemingly so depressing. Wombat makes some salient points, is this an isolated fact? Are they saying all 45 year old women have a 75% chance of MC, and it's the 'age' of the blood that is leading them to this figure? I'm crap at statistics, what is the chance of MC for someone over 35? Isn't that about 50%? What else can be done to improve your own egg quality, if anything?

We are here for support and hugs, and I can imagine how numb you must be feeling. Please don't say that it is never going to happen for you though, that is not what has been said!!
Have you started another thread or had a browse on here, there must be people that have had similar news and their experiences will be a valuable source of knowledge and support. Try to stay away from google though, you may only see the bad news at this stage. Stay on here and chat though, it might help you to think it through if you type things out. I hope you don't think I'm just being relentlessly positive and glib, I do think there is hope!

Wombat, glad AF arrived at least for you, even though it finally confirms the BFN's which is always depressing, and also you can do without the bizarrely long cycle, makes it a bit harder to calculate next month. My oversharing boss has just recommended the poas ovulation predictors, she uses them as a method of contraceptive so seemingly they must be pretty accurate.
Oh, feel a bit down now, so sorry for the sadness today, yellow we are here for you x

well I dunno if I trust him or not really. He is an 'expert' consultant, works with Lesley Regan at St Marys so meant to be one of the best in the country.

the other tests were all fine so no genetic or clotting issues.

he did the AMH test again today to check and also estrogen and FSH cos they can also indicate or disprove the other test.

he said he was surprised it was so low. He did say that with 0.85 result it is possible to have a successful pg but just unlikely.

It might also be an indicator of early menopause which my Mum had at 38 which I'll be in 2 months.

Basically there isn't really anything we can do. He said IVF won't work and neither of us are prepared to consider donar eggs. So we can continue to try but with the knowledge that if/when I get pg again there is a v high chance of mc. Not a very hopeful picture really but I guess I just have to try to face up to that reality.

Thanks for the support as always ladies, it is really appreciated. I think I'm going to go and lay on the sofa and eat chocolate.

x post with wellie - I agree with her yellow re: allowing yourself (and DP) some time. It will take a while to sink in I guess.

Oh yellow - what a shock for you to get those results..... sending a big hug and lots of warm thoughts. I just want to say that I'm thinking of you lots.

Did you get the results of the other tests too? Does your AMH level have any bearing on the other results, or do they look at them in isolation. How did you feel about your consultant? i.e. would you want to seek a 2nd opinion from anywhere else?

Sorry for all the questions, just desperate to help you yellow and offer some hope to you.

xxxx

(((yellow))) - hugs lovely, I am so so sorry to hear your news. Didn't want to leave you unanswered though I can't say anything useful.

lots of love to you - give yourself time to take it all in before you make any decisions. xx

Morning all

wombat glad your af has finally made an appearance, let's hope it was just your body still settling down post ERPC

mrsB33 twice a day? wow....I've also heard every other day is good cos it helps build up reserves but it sounds like you were spot on for your ov time. And like wise wombat says it is only something like a 25% each month even if you do everything right. Sorry you're feeling glum and it is frustrating but it is still early days.

I've just got back from getting my blood test results and it is very bad news. Basically my AMH level is just 0.85 which is what you'd expect from a 45 year old woman. My chance of mc in every pregnancy is over 75% and he said the best chance of having a baby would be egg donation.

I am still in shock at the moment. He said IVF is not an option cos of poor egg quality but if we continue to try naturally there is a chance but it is a slim one.

So.....I kind of need to get my head round the idea that it is never going to happen for me. Not feeling too bad at the moment but I think i am still in a bit of shock.

Sorry to bring the thread down with such depressing news.....just wanted to let you ladies know.

Well, having said there is nothing to report, AF has just arrived in force! Good in some respects but odd that I had a 37 day cycle - I hope this doesn't happen again next cycle.... think I am going to start charting my temps in attempt to pinpoint ov. Watch this space.....

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down mrsb. What I can tell you is only from the reading that I have done and my interpretation. OPKs measure the surge in LH which peaks just before you ovulate so I think it's more likely you ov'd on 1st or possibly even the 2nd. I know some people recommend SWI only every day or every other day around ov time as sperm take 24 hours to "build up" - DH will of course produce seminal fluid, but it may not contain that much sperm..... also, even if you do time it right, there is still only a 25% chance that sperm and egg will get together properly.

I can really highly recommend the book "what to expect before you're expecting" as it explains everything in lovely simple language. n.b. this book is not "what to expect when you're expecting" but "what to expect before you're expecting" - you can also look at the "what to expect" website that has a section for preconception - here's the link - I'd recommend it for everyone.

Hope this helps mrsb - sending positive thoughts your way x

xmas party for us last night which was actually pretty special -3 different themed rooms, including a moulin rouge one with proper can-can dancers! Nothing at all to report on the SWI / ov / AF front from me as I've no idea where I am in my cycle. At least we are able to now have sex as thrush definitely seems to have gone - hurrah!

Waves to all!

Oh mrs b, just having a quick look before bed and didn't want to leave your post unanswere. Fraid I have no advice about the ov tests but just wanted to send a hug for your shit day.

hi ladies hope your all well, seems a slow day on the thread today....
Right have a question, getting myself abit confused with all this ovulation crap. So heres my info.
Af 21st 1st day, poas from 30th, got a faint line on the 31st,then a clear line on 1st then nothing on the 2nd, so did i ovulate on the 31st or 1st?? Swi from 29th through to 2nd twice a day, then af arrived bang on 28 days later on 17th of jan!!! Did i do everything correctly?? Feel abit bewildered by it all at the moment, feel like giving up!!!!!!! Sorry bad day!! Dh being a twat, 3days into my cycle and period very very heavy!!!! Blar blar blar.........
Waves to all

Yes - do come and stay star - plenty of room at the villa (seeing as we have no DC to fill it - YET!!) YOu're all very welcome here any time. V excited for you and worm for Florida. I would love to do the HP ride.....!

yellow - v good point re: not knowing the questions until you get results - doh!

Another BFN this morning and no more spotting so now very . I figure the doc isn't going to know anymore than me at this stage so I think what I'll do is take the pathetic spotting as AF for this month and see what happens next month..... DH has been super supportive and sympathetic which is v helpful.

Waves to all!

Hey Wormy!!
Guess what?.....I've just booked Florida. We go 31 May for 19 nights. Only booked flights at the moment so now need to sort the Villa, car and tickets out now and then get planning.
We went to Alton Towers before we had the m/c and i was worried about the same then. I think the main risk with rides is placental abruption but that would be a bit hard at such an early stage of pregnancy. I wouldn't worry at all unless you have major issues with your blood pressure. I just need to make sure i don't get pregnant now before May . V excited.....DS massively excited for Harry Potter world!!

Thanks Wombat and also Yellow. Yes i think a bit of Disney planning is just what the doctor ordered :). Maybe we should all just descend on Wombat

Hi all!!!!

Oh sparkly ........that is so lovely. Made me a bit tearful....thank you so much.

wombat thanks for the link, I'll take a look. I think I will take questions but I suppose it depends very much on what the results are. I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to say regarding your cycle. Have fingers crossed for tomorrow morning.....otherwise I don't know what to suggest! re OBEM can't you get it through the internet?

Must go, my dinner is ready.

What nice posts Yellow, I echo what sparkly and wombat said - you really must be made of tough and very lovely stuff. As we're having a love in I'll extend my hugs to everyone, it's great to have such a supportive group of ladies to share this all with x

Hear hear sparkly re: your post on yellow - couldn't agree more. Big hugs to you sparkly for such a positive and heartfelt post and to you too yellow. Hope you had a good chat with your friends and the counsellor. Very keen to know what your consultant says - what do you think about taking a list of questions? The lovely ladies on this thread that I lurk on regularly seem to have some great questions.

I'm really hoping OBEM gets screened here at some point - the posts I've read on some of the other threads here make it sound very good viewing material.

worm - I think your bean (fx) will be fine as they are so teeny tiny and well protected amongst so many layers of muscle, flesh, blood vessels etc. Not long now for you!

So, I bought another PG test today and will test first thing tomorrow - tiny amount of spotting this morning and nothing since.... don't feel in the slightest bit PG or premenstrual. It's a bit hard to say with my cycles. I think that prior to the Mirena coil that I had for about 3 years, they were pretty regular 29-31 days (I never really paid attention to my cycle length) and then when I had the Mirena they were so light I didn't take any notice of them really. When I had it removed last Feb, they seemed to settle to 28 days and then I got PG in May. Post MC in June, again they seemed to settle to 28 days. Post MC in Nov, bled lightly for 2 weeks and then nothing for about 2.5 weeks then a "normal-ish" AF which started on 13th Dec. If anyone has any words of wisdom or experience, they'd be very welcome. Working on a 28 day cycle, I'm now 9 days late.... haven't done any SWI since Jan 8th due to thrush (which does seem to have died down thank heavens!)

Aw, yellow, big hug back atcha!

I am holding out lots of hope for your tests on Thursday giving you conclusive news with a positive outcome and a definite plan for moving forward. The time has come for answers!

I have no idea how I'd be after two and a half years, but divorced would be a probability
You are a supremely lovely and patient human being and will be a marvellous mum, one of those educated, progressive, encouraging, talk-it-through rational ones, with lots of cuddles too.
On the flip side of 'putting your life on hold' is the fact that to not anticipate that in all likelihood you will be too pregnant to fly/study for another year/do the hoovering () towards the end of the year is almost to relinquish hope, and hope is what you seem to have in abundance. I think you are really quite inspirational. Therefore, my recommendation is to plonk yourself on the sofa and eat biscuits until the bean arrives

Morning all

Thanks for the kind words, feeling a bit more resigned today. i think because my cycle is normally 27 - 29 days and yesterday was 31 days I was starting to get my hopes up. And then af appeared in the middle of my lecture. It's so depressing.....I know it took me a year both times last time but i was thinking my pre-seed had maybe had a magical effect.

Ho hum, back to square one.

Yes MrsB33 we can be cycle buddies! I had just started acupuncture when I got pg last time. i can't afford it every week now but I might splash out on a session just before ovulation. I know anecdotes from MN of people that it seems to have helped. I'd try reflexology too if I could afford it.....but not earning at the moment so need to count the pennies. I will be using the pre-seed again and the 'dipping' On the plus side I know when I ovulate as I have obvious signs and it will be before DP goes to Australia so at least I won't have to miss out on a month. Arrrghhh why is this all so difficult? I guess my main problem is I get my hopes up and start imagining what my life would be like. Because I don't have any children and don't ever spend time with kids or babies I think it will be a massive change for me. And for example should I register for the course starting in October and risk the fee if i have to drop out due to pg or should I book the flights to a wedding in China in Sept because I def wouldn't risk going there whilst pg etc...but I suppose I have been trying now for nearly 2 1/2 years so can't put my life on hold........

wombat getting test results this Thursday. Am feeling quite nervous about it...I will def take notes this time so i can remember what he says. I think spotting may be a good sign...hope you get af or bfp soon. You're being v patient! I think I ov'd a couple of days later than usual this month which explains my delay.

worm I'm sure a little bean won't be affected, not too hot on the biology of it but think it would be sooo teeny tiny that it would be fine. I've recorded OBEM but I'm sure I'll cry too.

star it must be frustrating but at least you've got something positive to focus on. Maybe I should start planning the China trip.

sparkly I know what you mean. I like the anticipation of SWI as it could be you it's the 2ww that is the killer, especially the last couple of days if naughty af is late and messing with your head!

glad things are progressing mana and kitkey you are our shining examples of what we can achieve....leading the way

nurse look forward to hearing lots from you in your week off!

Am going to have coffee with one friend today and lunch with another and then see my counsellor this evening..so I'll have plenty of opportunity to talk today!

Thanks again for the support ladies, it really means a lot as I know you understand.

I know this is probably not allowed on MN but big hugs to you all. (feeling emotional and hormonal and stuff.....need chocolate!)

Morning girls
Sorry the evil witch got you both yellow and mrs b good luck with the reflexology.

When do you plan to go to disney star we go on the 18th Feb and will be on the 2ww while we are there. Getting all paranoid about the effect of going on rides/planes may have to a bean.....

mrsb the name change goes back to the a couple of weeks ago when you started of the whole my little friend conversation...

Did your AF's used to be iratic wombat , i'm glad you have already had one, as I could see why you would be worried otherwise about the much googled Ashermans.

Nothing to tell you exciting ladies, did any of you catch last nights One born every minute? I blubbed my way through it!
xxxx

Ah - yellow and mrsb - v sorry to hear that. Thinking of you both x

I've heard good things about reflexology and accupuncture in relation to conception so good luck with that.

yellow - when is your appt for your test results? I think you said end of Jan.

star - great to hear from you and it sounds as if you're being very practical about things - well done.

kitkey - thanks for that. Yes, I have had one AF since ERPC. I definitley didn't ovulate at the normal time of the month for me so like you say, perhaps I haven't ov'd at all this month, or it was late. I had some EWCM, but over a period of about 10 days, about every 3 days . Not much I can really do - I think that's what is sooooooo frustrating.

mana - good news re: going up a week! Glad you're feeling ok.

Hump day for me today although it already feels as if I've put in a week's worth of work already....

me too yellow, we can be cycle buddies this month then?? Are you planning on doing anything different??
Im culling the alcohol for a whole month, see if it helps..
Did everything right last month, ov sticks, plenty of swi, not sure what happened.
My friend who does reflexology, kindly offered to start me with some reflexology from sunday b4 my ov dates, see if that helps??
worm think i missed the thread where your name changed?? Do tell??
Mana kitkey thanks for the virtual flu support, feel positively poo, but still managed to paint my lounge!! Im a woman on a mission!!!
Waves to all xxx

Af got me :(