TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

Hi all,
Well Friday night's CDWM seemed to go well! I closely monitored all plates, and apart from one person leaving most of her pea puree, and a couple of boring disciplined bods picking at the posset, there was not much left by the end of the night. For info, we go through 6 bottles of wine (between 5 of us), 3 of which happened to be mine Quite tame really but I think I had slightly more than my fair share Twas the nerves that drove me to it!
In other news, swi since Thursday evening, without trying to look as though it is with intent, so subtley trying to angle myself into a tilty position whilst remaining alluring and post-orgasmically glowing. Having an orgasm after DH is not working, I mistakenly had one before and then had to fake the second one because I knew it wasn't going to happen quickly and I was a bit bored and wanted a cup of tea I also felt a bit giggly, picturing myself worm-shuffling across the floor to tend to myself, and had to stifle myself because I've found in the past that laughing can be construed as mildly insulting
I might be completely making this up but this month does not, yet anyway, feel to be the month. Very little ewcm, and it feels again like I am playing at it, pretending to be a grown-up. Bit silly as I'm 37 tomorrow!
Off now to celebrate my birthday eve (I also have a birthday boxing day ), and may indulge in a shandy or two.
Hope everyone is well, howya doing tomato?

Come on sparkly I can't believe you've been keeping us in suspense all weekend. How did it go? Have you spent the weekend in bed with a hangover?

star sorry for my stupid question, i didn't realise you had to ask permission to take your kids on holiday.

kitkey thanks for the support, sorry you're feeling a bit wobbly. That's totally understandable but we're here to hold your hand if you need it.

worm we decided against IVF for sanity's sake. Not sure if we'd get a free go or not but I know someone who has had 4 goes (all self funded) and the amount of appts, injections etc really takes over your life and I just don't want to put us through it.

wombat I was wondering if I should try temping but I am very lazy and don't like the idea of starting everyday thinking about ttc. Also my cycle is very regular and with EWCM I'm pretty sure I know when I ovulate.

I have had an up and down weekend. At times I feel fine and keen to buy a fertility book and read more and drink green tea, acupuncture and whatever advice they have especially the positive visualisations. At other times I feel hopeless and that maybe I should be starting to work towards a more realistic place.

In any case we've agreed to ask the consultant for a full set of results and then to go and see the GP for an NHS referral. Has anyone read any fertility books that they recommend...I was thinking of either 'the fertility plan' or 'taking charge of your own fertility' or 'the fertility bible' they all have good and bad review on amazon.

Hope you've all had a good weekend...having fun and SWI and that's why you haven't had time to post!

kitkey - hope you enjoyed your Chinese - I meant to add to the previous post that I can understand you wanting to stay away from mn - as wormshuffler says, we are very tentative and hand holding here, and selfishly, it's lovely to hear of positive stories but please don't take this as pressure to post!

Hi all - hope everyone is doing as ok as they can be with all the stresses this ttc lark brings.....

sparkly - waiting for an update on CDWM when you can - did you rescue the tuille disaster?!

I spent a bit of time looking at the videos on feritiltyfriend.com - see them here and while I thought I knew quite a bit about the ttc business, it helped hearing about it again. So far I've taken my temp twice with the digi thermometer I bought. Fri was fine but then this morning the wretched thing didn't beep at all and I had it shoved in my gob for at least 5 minutes.... might have something to do with the lovely glass of red wine or three I quaffed last night. hmmm..... onwards we chart!

star I wouldn't have thought they would put down as unauthorized, as it goes against their figures and looks bad on them. We are using the Feb half term and then the week after, DD is at secondary school so I am trying to avoid time off purely for her sake as she will have to catch it up when she gets home .She goes to a posh grammer where the kids all seem to go off to the alps half of winter and they get away with it...Its not so bad for DS as he still in yr5. Will get DH on the voucher thing thanks.....
strawberry we will be there at the same time... small world ey.

kitkey I don't blame you for trying to self preserve, it was really difficult for you what has happened and if you were like me and did the whole TTC bus thing and then due in ..it was really hard. This thread is lovely and tentative :)

yellow I think a second opinion at the gp's would be a good idea, after all it's what we pay our taxes for..... you said you have ruled out IVF, is that for your sanity or other reasons? Would you qualify for a free go? xxxxx

Hope you had a fun night sparkly

brown you are very clever with your linky things, made me chuckle.

WAves to anyone I have missed hope you all have a nice weekend, laters xx

I'm here - sorry for absence - trying to not think about it all and build my hopes up so staying away from MN but wanted to see how you are all doing.

Yellow, Yellow, Yellow I am so sorry to hear that the news you got yesterday was disappointing especially as I remember (I think) you toying with the decision to get the AMH level done in the first place. I do agree with what a lot of the other ladies are saying in that I think there is a lot of discrepancy as to how the test reflects egg quality. I think a second opinion would definitely be a good idea. I can see how you must feel defeated but it is a new test and I think they used to rely on LH levels only to measure ovarian function. My friend got told she had ovary function of 45 year old when she was 26 so before AMH testing- the NHS let her have 1 attempt at IVF and she has twins now.

I really feel awful for the fact that you have been given this news. I can't say anything to help you feel better but I really want to. You come across as such a lovely positive person and this is unfair.

Please take good care of yourself.

Welcome Brown Sorry you find yourself here

Good news on AF Wombat !0 days late - not too bad - sure hormone just a little messed up form ERPC
Waves to others - got to dash - chinese is here

Just a quick one....
Yes worm you can register now and print all your coupons off before you go.
No yellow, not a teacher. I'm at home with the kids for now.
We're using the May half term from the tuesday of it, but gonna need all the 10 days they can authorise. Some schools have started to unauthorise any holiday during term time. We moved to South Yorkshire in August so it's a new school and we're not exactly sure how they will be. DH says he couldn't care less what they say and will be taking him out regardless . We literally have June when we can book and need to be back by about the 23rd so are really restricted. There's not even any weekends we can go away throughout the year so hopefully they'll be understanding of the situation :)

at pecker!
Gotta be quick, I'm panicking. The tuiles have fallen apart, and it's taken me about 30 minutes to light all the bloody candles, the place will probably go up in flames later! Actually typing on the loo, such is the urgency to multi-task!
I'm quite looking forward to it now I'm prepped, could do with a bevvy though - will let you know how much is consumed by counting the carnage bottles tomorrow!
Thanks for the sloppy kiss, DH is away tonight so that's all I'm getting but swi begins in earnest tomorrow. EWCM so far disapointing, despite grapefruit juice, curses!
love to all, will check in tomorrow to let you know how it went x

oooh brownb I'll have all 3 please!

Hello ladies. Thanks for your kind greetings. Today the dildocam told me I'm finally done with this miscarriage. And my body listened, and the bleeding has almost stopped. Am sad, but have a chocolate cake in the oven (for real, not some sick euphemism), so things will be fine in my house soon...

All that's left for me is to finish the book(s ) on miscarriage, and decide what dosh is available for mc clinics/acupuncture etc etc. If anyone here has had a win after similar tales of woe - what was the best thing you did?

Yellow - that's a proper fucker. Am not sure what you would prefer by way of gift... <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=blog.officelinks.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Chelsea-Chocolate.jpg&imgrefurl=blog.officelinks.com/2010/chocolate-cocktails-and-art-for-a-cause/&usg=__m99gC-BVb4AiWVojnAZhwUaHyhw=&h=300&w=400&sz=79&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=TyU7OTUTGbtZtM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=195&ei=Kr05TbDsJMqahQeNyOGRCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchocolate%2Bcocktails%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1278%26bih%3D680%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=256&vpy=223&dur=14373&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=89&ty=102&oei=Kr05TbDsJMqahQeNyOGRCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This? Or maybe <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.nightclub.com/files/ncb/nodes/2009/354/CucumberSpaCocktail.jpg&imgrefurl=www.nightclub.com/bar-management/organic-green-spirits/greening-your-bar&usg=__amDHWeaRMV9rE_iIDb-Js1hmlvI=&h=530&w=400&sz=198&hl=en&start=21&zoom=1&tbnid=ya7IOditL5L3qM:&tbnh=158&tbnw=112&ei=nr05TeDiFuOAhAfWl5CKCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgreen%2Bcocktails%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1278%26bih%3D680%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C390&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=346&vpy=332&dur=3689&hovh=258&hovw=195&tx=118&ty=212&oei=mr05TfTZCNC2hAfB5pydCg&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:21&biw=1278&bih=680" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this. Or as you're feeling a little green, maybe just <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3092/images/3092_MEDIUM.jpg&imgrefurl=www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3092/ultimate-chocolate-cake&usg=__1AecnzxgoXi0jwsKULbIv0AH_oQ=&h=400&w=440&sz=38&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Ktn0syAnQea-qM:&tbnh=161&tbnw=201&ei=9L05TcHEGMKxhQfXz-TQCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchocolate%2Bcake%2Brecipe%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1278%26bih%3D680%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=594&vpy=123&dur=3885&hovh=214&hovw=235&tx=147&ty=108&oei=4b05TaTeMcKxhQeuxJyYCg&esq=4&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this. Feel free to throw all three all over the place if you're in a bad mood, or are still hungover.

What time does it start sparkly?

hi ladies, sorry not been around for a couple of days, been trying to keep my mind and body busy and trying not to dwell on things too much, it will happen when it happens, it happened once right!!!
yellow god im so sorry about your news, not sure what else to say really, just hope you get some much needed answers soon.
Wombat thanks for the ttc advice and everyone else who had an imput, feel a little silly now, after what yellow is going through, i think i had a moment of sheer panic.
But thanks ladies, feel alot more positive now that were doing everything right
(maybe now i can let dh off from the every day swi action and reduce it too every other day this peak fertile window) the poor begga!! No wonder he hasnt been near me since new year, im suprised his pecker hasnt fallen off!!!
Welcome brown, sorry youve found yourself here and been through some shit times, especially over xmas and new year.
Waves to all, poor dh has had a two week break may see if i can tempt him back into a bit swi action tonight, a cheeky curry and bottle of red, that should do it!!! thats if his pecka has recovered enough!!! If not i recon my little friend maybe needed......

Catch you all laters. X

Morning all

Thank you so much for all your kind words and support. It really means so much to me and even makes me a bit tearful that you're all so lovely.

I got pissed last night and kind of passed out rather than fell asleep. Had rooms spins which I haven't had for ages and so am feeling a little bit today (that is meant to be sick not envious!

I'm not really sure how I feel today. i think confused is the closest feeling. Not really sure what, if anything, to do next.

I think I'll wait for the results of yesterdays tests which I should get early next week. The consultant did say I could email with any questions so I think I'll email him for clarification and also for a written record of all the test results including those that were 'fine'

What I might do then is go to the GP with the results and ask for a referral to the RMC cos they said they would see me after only 2 mc because of my age. I don't think the NHS even tests AMH so they might have some other test.

but on the other hand I'm not sure if it is worth it because all the other tests were fine and if I've got bad quality eggs or they are running out nothing can be done about it. We already know we're not going to go the donar route or try IVF so it seems like just trying not to think about it and see what happens might be the best option.

I do think though that I need to manage my expectations down. I thought it might not be easy and might take a while but I'd get my baby in the end but I think I need to adjust that thinking to a more realistic place.

Anyway, enough about me for one day!

I'm very jealous about all these holiday plans..florida, NZ aren't you a jet setting lot? Maybe I should also plan a holiday....hmm need to get a job first though!

manamana glad you are not feeling too sick yet...I can relate to how you must be feeling as I was very nervous in my last pg and know I would be again. I think your approach is right though, just try to take one day at a time. It's all you can do.

kitkey where are you and how are you feeling?

worm get the pre-seed, can't hurt can it but do put less than they say otherwise you could become a bit too erm lubricated

wombat if you can't get cheaper opks in NZ I'd be happy to send you some. Or can you just order them from the internet? Or is that illegal too? I am impressed with the running, I've been so lazy this week....maybe I should focus on optimum fitness too, healthy in body and mind!

strawberry good luck with the charting.....that has always confused me and I think I'm too lazy to manage to wake up at the same time each day to take the temp. At the mo my EWCM is a good indicator and last cycle was back to normal, only 1 or 2 days longer.

star I have fingers crossed it gets authorised too......are you a teacher? I can't remember if you've said before?

MrsB33 how are you?

sparkly is everything ready for tonight? I'm very excited and I'm not even going to be there....you must update us with all the details. I also need to know how much alcohol is consumed between how many people because I always wonder how I manage to get through so much. Re the mc in a weird way I found the second easier than the first because the first was a total shock and I never thought it would happen to me and didn't know what to expect....I'm not saying it was fun or easy but it was easier.......i was a bit more prepared in some ways. My tick tock is now deafening....especially with my 45 year old eggs....

wellie how are you today?

Ok well I think that's a long enough post! Thanks again all you lovely people, big hugs and a sloppy kiss to you all.

Ha ha, loads of boobs!

Hi all
Yellow, how utterly frustrating and confusing for you. It's horrible having the really bad news about the levels but not really getting a satisfactory explanation as to why it's bad. Glad to hear you are getting more advice from elsewhere on MN but I would go back to your gp and ask for another referral for a 2nd opinion. Tell them you just don't understand what the first one was saying. Take care x

Brown, welcome to the thread, so sorry to hear about your experience and how you feel let down by the medics you've been seen by. It makes things so much harder to bear when you don't feel like you've been treated properly.

Disney trips sound fantastic. I went a few times as a child and loved it, I am desperate to take our boys but dh needs some persuading. Also need to do a bit of saving!

Nice to see you strawberry.

Don't think we've heard from kitkey for a while. Are you lurking? Hope you're ok. I am feeling all over the place . Keep telling myself that I am just pregnant and that doesn't necessarily lead to a baby so not to get involved but then I just have really weepy moments when I think about going through it all again. I have slightly more sickness but not much and no sore boobs boobs but I am only 6 weeks so I guess that's ok. Feel v much like I did last time and nothing went wrong till 9 weeks so maybe all is ok at the moment. Less than a week now until my gp appointment then I'll ask for an early scan.

Hi to everyone else. Good luck with monitoring everything and enjoy the swi. X

Hi Ladies, long time no speak, have been a bit awol thanks to internet breaking on my work laptop, leaving me at the mercy of my iphone which is far better to read with than type I find!

Have thus borrowed DH's computer to send big hugs to yellow, I'm so sorry the result was so sad and confusing, but as others have said you mustn't let that put you off. I seem to be reading so many stories lately - both here and in the papers - of women who've given birth to beautiful babies 'despite the odds'. And plus, so far you have just one opinion, so try not to let that shape your whole thinking (I know that's easier said than done though). Just keep trying as you have been , try to get a second opinion and don't be put off. Am thinking about you and sending you lots of love and luck.

BrownB Am sorry to hear your story, it's a difficult enough time to cope with without feeling uncared for by the hospital. Feel free to rant here any time of course. Even though I've only just been through mc myself I find it so hard to find the right words, so I'm just going to send you (((hugs))) and lots of good wishes.

wombat Sorry you're in limbo but am keeping fx for a positive result for you x

worm and star We're off to Disney in 5 weeks! Haven't been for a few years but love the place, booked it the week before I found out I was pg and have been using the fact that I can now go on the rides and drink cocktails as a positive going forward. My tip on the Premuim Outlets - there's an amazing shop that sells make-up like Mac, Bobbi Brown etc at about a third of the cost of at home so save some pennies (or I should really say cents) to spend there!

congrats to the BFP ladies

As for me, I had an all-clear scan on Jan 5th and the consultant said the bleeding at new year was probably AF, which pleased me for the first time ever! Have been temping and using opks, which put me currently 4dpo but the temps aren't as high as I'd like and its currently confusing me more than anything because I'm worried I haven't ovulated! I think I might pop across to the Charters' thread while I'm online and try and get some advice.

waves to anyone I haven't mentioned and hugs to all x

Morning girls
star We are just staying on idrive, we are florida virgins so have just done a package deal from virgin.......(see what I did there?) We shopped around for the park tickets and have gone for 7 days with 7 free for the disney parks, and a 15 day Universal flexi ticket. We havn't included Busch gardens/ seaworld parks this time as we think there will be enough! I want to go to wet and wild so we will probably just pay on the gate for that one. Thanks for the tip re the outlets....do I register now then while we are here ??? DSIL has just come back and is sending me her kids eat free vouchers which aparently dont get checked ??.
I only need to sort 5 days off school as its half term 1 week.
wombat Fingers crossed you don';t need to buy those sticks :)
Well the EWCM search is not fruitful, last month I was swimming in the stuff on these days in my cycle and tday is day 13. Think I may order some preseed.

Hope you are ok as you can be yellow
xxxx

Sorry yellow - just seen that you have started a post already - looks like galwaygirl has been v helpful. Hope you get some other inputs too x

Morning all and happy Friday - yay!

yellow - how are you doing today? Did you manage to get any sleep or was your mind doing cartwheels.....? So pleased to hear that you are getting some positive responses from your queries - it's no wonder you're feeling - I think waiting for the next results and then starting a thread is a great idea. YOu will probably find you start a whole support group on AMH levels.

brownb - sorry to hear your medics have been so unempathic and unhelpful. I second the advice of going private if possible - while it may be ouch financially, for your state of mind it may be an excellent investment and you will at least feel as if you're doing something and taking back a degree of control that your body will seem to be dictating to you right now. Sorry also that you had such a hard time physically - I admire your strength.

sparkly - good going on the AMH research. I started yesterday and got myself all confused....

mrsb - how are you doing? Not heard from you since you were feeling down - hope you're ok.

worm and star - loving the sound of your Disney plans! Hope the school is flexible star and worm, keep us posted on the EWCM, even though you're not trying kind of/sort of....! Also, good plan re: getting the OPKs posted here - the slight issue with that is the big black hole of the post office quite a bit of my stuff has disappeared into. You only get a PO Box here, no such thing as a residential postal address so it can be something of a lottery. Hoping that NZ or Aus has cheaper versions so I will stock up while we're there, assuming of course there is no BFP by then and and .....

It's the marathon on here today so off to hit the streets for a run soon as they should be lovely and quiet and free of all the usual panting mad health freaks casual joggers.

Hi Brownb. I'm sorry the medics have been so crappy....i do wonder if they are this blase when/if they find theirselves in this position. I doubt it :(. Is private investigation an option? Just a thought if you really are struggling with the notion of having to wait years potentially before getting to the bottom of if there are any underlying issues. Lots of happy thoughts though and hopefully, 3rd time will be perfectly smooth for you :)

Yellow, i'm so sad that you feel so down about this. It's coming accross like this has really hit you like a tonne of bricks and knocked you off your focus. Keep smiling girly as you are our little miss positive. Have faith in those little eggs and keep believing. Try not to let yourself start thinking negatively and fight those crappy statistics cos that's all they are....statistics. If you did well to get pregnant according to that mumsnetter then you can do it again and be the statistic that carries to term. :) Big hugs, chin up and lots of love (and chocolate, wine and cheese....oh and percy pigs!!)

Worm are you staying on site at Disney or are you in a villa? I think we've seen the villa we will hopefully book and it's on Windsor Hills so nice and close for the parks. If you intend to shop, then go to orlando premium outlets website and sign up and it will send you a whole host of vouchers. 25-30% off on some!! Which parks are you thinking of?
I really can't wait. DH's parents and my sister and her partner are coming along with us. DH is contracted in his work till June 2012 and he's hoping to sort an extension out before we go away up until June 2013 which will give us a bit more stability. We can only go away in June so i've had to request the full 10 days off school. Only handed it in today and it's a new school so not sure how they operate, but fingers crossed it all gets authorised

Oh yellow ...I don't know what to say.....
That is just awful news, but as the lady on the other thread said, you did conceive so all hope is not gone. I have no clue about what those tests mean, but it does sound strage that if the test was for the amount of eggs it means more chance of a M/C I always thought an egg was an egg.
Welcome to the thread brown although sorry you have found yourself here.....fingers crossed your body has finished buggering you around and will now behave and produce you a sticky bean, along with all of us of course.

Think we are all ticking on this thread sparkly although I am in the lucky position of already having 2 DC's .
( and I know you porny comment was aimed at me ) Good luck for the CDWM tomorrow night, maybe you will get pissed nice and relaxed and have some good quality SWI.

Wombat that is very expensive! could you not get someone to post you some??
Your parties all sound great tho. Sorry your AF got you, onwards to next month with a hopefully normal 28 day cycle for you.

Nothing here to report I am on the lookout for EWCM, not that I intend to use it this month so close to Florida hol, but just keeping track of my days. I used to feel really horny affectionate before OV before I had the M/C, but haven't had that since, which I am taking as a sign my hormones are rubbish. My Mum had an early menapause too.

Thanks sparkly

I think that there are 2 scales and if you look at this website I am on the one on the left the pmol one so in the 'very low/undetectable column'
results

But what does confuse me is that the test does seem to be about how well you respond to IVF and how many eggs you have left rather than quality whereas I'm sure he was saying that the reason for the mc was poor egg quality as indicated by this test.....hmmm, I have asked on other forums and set up a post and one lady said: I did not think that there was a link betweek AMH and M/C but I am not an expert. For you to be concieving with an AMH so low is amazing. AMH is supposedly a measure of the number of eggs left, but it says nothing about quality of the eggs. So for you to have become pregnant twice with such a low level is incredible. .. I was told by the RMC unit at St Mary's (Prof Lesley Regan) that the AMH test means nothing and is not worth doing except maybe in cases where you are going to do IVF.

So now I'm most

hello brownb sorry you've been having a hard time....I've had bad results today so am feeling a bit down and the advice I'd give from where I am is go private and get whatever tests you might need asap.

Hi BrownB, your 4 provisos at the beginning of your rant musings will have had most of the ladies mentally ticking off the points ("nope, nope, yup that's me, yup)
Welcome! As always, I am very sorry that you find yourself here, and personally speaking I can't contemplate how awful it would be to find yourself in this situation a second time. Having had one mc, perhaps selfishly I don't want to go there.

You have had a shitty time and will inevitably feel very angry as part of the grieving process. The medical profession is not fluffy by nature, and they make me feel like a stupid child in the main, so I agree with being annoyed at the patronising metaphorical head-patting. Maybe one inevitably stops seeing people as an individual when dealing with tragic events on a daily basis.

Here is a good place to vent anyway (not that we can stop you, though I do have rotten tomatoes to pelt! ); you will find us supportive, in the main positive, and a tad porny open-minded!
I'm feeling all cuddly so will send newbie hugs your way, rant any time, it was most lucidly done!

By the way, I am 37 next week

Hello ladies - was wondering if I could join in? Have mostly been lurking in the BESH corner, but kinda fit the bill for this thread too... be aware, most of what follows is a rant. Don't feel the need to read it if you're 1. Happy about your recent BFP; 2. Are about to leave the country and have more important things to do; 3. Have just had bad news and are feeling like protecting yourself; 4. Are sick of angry frustrated MN-ers hijacking threads to talk about themselves...

A-hem.

I am 36 and am in the final throws of my 2nd mc. The first was down to an unexpected pregnancy in July 2009, and I lost it in September. I am also a closet hippy Sparkly and it all finished naturally. There was some pretty serious bleeding along the way, but had minimal medical intervention. 4 weeks from beginning spotting to end.

It then took me 13 months to conceive again. I started spotting the weekend before Christmas, and had a scan on 22 December. I have been obsessively charting and was 100% sure of my dates. I should have been 8 weeks gone, but the baby only measured 6 weeks with no heartbeat. The doctor said it looked fine for 6 weeks, and was predictably patronising when I told her it was two weeks behind. My heart broke then and there and I decided once more that I should have as little to do with the medics as possible.

Bleeding started for real on 23 December and got really bad for a while - was off to Canada for the holidays. After 5 days of bad bleeding and hideous cramps the bleeding got lighter, I got back to London and had another scan on 7 January. The baby was gone, as was all pregnancy tissue, however my womb was still 13.5mm thick. I was told that anything under 15mm was expected to resolve itself. She may have offered me an ERPC, but I didn't hear her (or didn't want to hear her), and left expecting to be done and dusted within the next week. I spotted for a few days, then started gushing blood again last Thursday 13. This was really scary and bad until Tuesday (on Monday tried to get another scan - the first they could do was Friday; tried to get my doctor interested - can't do anything until after the scan... They can tell I hate them...). I think I'm done now. Hope I'm done now. Scan tomorrow and back to work for me asap. Has anyone else had nightmare stories with their miscarriages? Mine seem to be long and at stages pretty freaky. It figures I guess as my periods are very heavy too.

The real reason I'm angry with the medics I guess is their arrogance coupled with their disinterest in me as an individual. They confidently declare that you and your body should perform according to bloody statistics. When you throw something in it rarely seems welcome or respected. Yet when you say, "why did this happen," they say they don't know. When you're me, and are feeling the ticking clock of time passing at 36, they say no to fertility clinics and no to miscarriage testing, pat you on the head and say, "you really have a good chance of having a healthy pregnancy next time." And the dreaded, "at least you know you can get pregnant." I just want to scream at them that if I have to wait another 13 months to get pregnant again, I'll be 37. If I miscarry that one, I will finally be getting tests done when I'm 38. So I will have spent 3 years messing around when if I'd been taken seriously at the off, (and whatever issue I have is sortable) I could have had this sorted and had one or two kiddies clinging to my legs. It's just so frustrating.

However am almost at the end of this, and my hormones will hopefully be back to normal any day now. Am really looking forward to having my body back. Am really looking forward to wanting my DP to touch me again. Am really looking forward to ttc again, and am really really hoping that the next one is a sticky one. My thoughts to you all and bests wishes for sticky beans all round.

Rant over.

www.advancedfertility.com/amh-fertility-test.htm (when I preview there is a gap in 'test' at the end which you'd need to close)

Did you find this site yellow?

You might need to copy and paste, I've no idea how you do a linky thing like wot clever wombat and the like can.
0.85 would put you in the 'low normal' range if I am reading it correctly. There are two further ranges below this one. Where I work, on a scale of achievement that would get you a payrise
Stay a bouyant tomato, do not get yourself passata'd.
The site also says the levels probably do not affect egg quality, as reflected by your other research, so you will have productive eggs amongst the slacker ones.
DH also wishes to point out that 1 in 4 odds is good at the bookies, but he admits this may be scant and insufficient consolation.
More hugs, and remember not all women are rich and coddled celebrities, I reckon a lot of normal 45 year old women became pregnant using their own equipment