TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

ha ha ha....
It was kinda stop start for 5 hours!! It was bloody knackering....
When we had the conversation, he was slightly embarrassed but i seemed to fix things really like all the pressure was off, thats kinda when my little friend got introduced...
Took my first ov test this morning, nothing yet.
More bad news last night another one of dh friends wifes in preganant, thats 3 since xmas!!!
Life is so unfair, i want it to be me!!! See says stamping her feet,rolling on the floor like a 3 year old

pecker wow, a year......and so when you found out what did you say to him? And you may not want to say but what percentage was foreplay and what was the erm main erm penetrative part?

Thanks brown I'm on day one of temping so I'll have to see how it goes. I am def not setting my alarm to take it at the weekend though. i did a test today and took it as soon as I woke, then I dozed for 45 mins and took it again, then opened eyes and chatted to DP for a bit and took it again. It had gone down almost a whole percentage point in that time so I guess it does make a big difference.

star how funny...did you two ever discuss it again?

I think first times are often a let down, I know mine was.....

wombat what do you mean that you can't get a reading? Mine is digital and beeps when it's ready, I got it from Amazon. Was cheap too only about 6 quid. i could post one to you if you can't order one there? And you're off on your hols soon too aren't you? How exciting......but don't forget us will you?

So another friend of mine (and don't start it was a friend) was receiving 'oral pleasures' and suddenly there was blood....and he was like 'arrghh yuk you've got your af' but she hadn't.....he'd got a nose bleed! Must have been all the excitement or something!!

Right I think that is enough of the sex stories from me..

brownb - good to hear from you again and thanks for info on temping - I'll keep at it.

Awesome story star! Don't think I would have been able to concentrate in those classes! I remember my first time being a bit of a let down - is that it then? I thought.... however, practice makes perfect!

pecker! - 12 months of 5 hour sessions - am seriously impressed with your stamina....!!

Haha. That's been an entertaining catch up :)
Got to say i don't have anything near as interesting to share. I think i must have gotton away with massively embarrassing moments. Off the top of my head there is only really one thing that stands out really.

I was 15 and hadn't lost my virginity yet. I sort of just wanted rid of it in a way so i knew what i was doing and it wasn't uncomfortable with any future boyfriends, should we make that leap, . Anyway, i had joined a friend's family for a weekend at Center Parcs and it clicked.....a wee holiday fling would be a good way cos i'd never see him again.....yay!!! I applauded myself at being so clever .
Fast forward a day or so and i'd managed to pull myself a nice chap who was working as a lifeguard there. Whilst he wasn't on duty, we decided to go have a sauna and quickly decided to get it on in the steam room (as you do ) but realised when i had my cossie half way down and he had his pecker out that we may get caught so he managed to get us into a massage room where we could lock the door. Previous to this i had mentioned i was on my period.....more or less just coming off it but he wasn't bothered and i thought well if he isn't, i'm not. Part way through doing the deed i felt a bit wet and i think his poking must have triggered the remainder of my period (sorry tmi). We decided to stop as was concerned it could get a bit messy. Don't think it was my hymen though as i expect that would have broken years before through the amount of sports i did but none the less, i was horrified by my first sexual encounter. I'd never even given a BJ before so think i skipped several bases!!!
Anyway, he was all very nice about it really given we were 15 and 16 and knowing what boys are like but i took comfort in the knowledge i'd never have to see him again anyway.
Oh dear....how wrong was i?
The 'encounter' happened in feb time and i started my A Levels in the September. I walk into my A Level PE class and who was sat there?.....only Mr lifeguard from Center Parcs!! Cue much from me, especially as i was such a goody goody two shoes and school. I was mortified....truly. I ended up spending the next two years with him in my class as he was also in my Geography class too!!
At least it was memorable but i didn't have sex again till i was probably 17!!! Hehe xxx

Yellow - it took me a while to get used to. I would wake up at 2am and be unable to get back to sleep wondering if I should take my temp then, or when I woke up later on. (The correct answer is of course - go back to sleep!) After four-five months, it's okay now. And very useful - I could tell when I got pregnant, and when my hormones were back to pre-pregnancy levels. And yes - a hot drink will fuck up the reading.

to clarify, the 5 hour sessions lasted for around 12 months!!! Thats why i was a size 8 and now a 12.... Lol
i gave up on my temps as i also got alot of 96 reading, which surely isnt normal...waves to all. Seriously funny stories...

wombat I think it's meant to be about 97..over a 100 is a fever....but it was 97 this am so much have been tea/wrong time of day or something. It seems to be crucial to take it as soon as you wake for some reason. this is fine for during the week but will be more of a challenge at the weekend!

Ooh worm - I like the sound of your first love's defect!

yellow - I started charting and am signed up to FF but cannot seem to be able to get a reading on the thermometer. What is a normal temp in Farenheit then? I only know centigrade. Could be the tea or perhaps you're just a hot babe!

Also I have to admit that I have cracked and now have my BBT thermometer and am signed up to fertility friend and have started on my chart! i just tried the thermometer and it says my temperature is 99.18....that can't be right can it? I know you are meant to take it in the morning and it's higher in the evening but that seems a bit high...do you think it was due to the tea I'm drinking?

In the case study they showed the woman's temp chart and how it had improved etc so i thought I'd give it a go.. who else here is a charter, I know someone is but I can' remember who...

Lol you lot make me laugh. I have already shared enough in this thread thank you very much! Not that i have any defective willy stories to tell you about anyway. Except my first love had a bent one and it reached the parts most willys can't reach :)
I have a good feeling for you yellow you are going to beat the odds :)
pecker 5 hours !!!
Best of luck with the swi/2ww ladies, can't wait to come and join you all, 2 weeks and counting :)

I'm with sparkly on this one.... a friend, my eye! Either way, big ouch! They must have really been going at it to involve stitches....! I wish I did have a more exciting tale to tell.... talking of which, you must have something to add to the storyboard sparkly, if not, can you make something up? - ooh, maybe we should do that anyway - one true story, one false and we have to guess which one is true....! As for teaching Colin anything (seriously, how many Colins do you know who would have been born in 1983?!) I think I was a bit too tipsy to have impressed him with any graduate style inflagrante moves!

So pleased to hear about your positive acupuncture session yellow - what he says about being put in a box rings very true. I don't have any experience of Chinese medicine personally but I have a friend who is usually very conventional who swears by it for her IBS. I guess a bit like the pre-seed, it really can't do any harm. What do you think? Do keep us posted on the lazy private test results too.

it wasn't me.....it wasn't honest! I admitted the bj situation but this wasn't me...made my eyes water when she told me about it though...

A friend you say, Yellow?

pecker forgot to say that EWCM stands for egg white cervial mucus (well you did ask!) and it refers to the consistency of the discharge you get when most fertile....ie it looks and feels like egg white. So when you get that it is the start of your fertile period.

I have mine today so we are good to go!! tmi again? Hmmm I think we passed that point some time ago!

Tee hee sparkly are you sure? Nothing at all to add?

No we are not still in touch now...it was many many years ago....but we did go out for at least 6 months or so after the incident

A friend of mine (no not me a friend) was doing it canine style and at one point he sort of missed and she ended up having to go to hospital for stitches......blood everywhere apparently.....sounds very ouch to me.

wombat did you teach Colin a thing or two? A night in catching up sounds great. Why are there so many fancy dress parties where you are? I hate fancy dress parties....never can come up with a good costume, i always end up feeling a bit lame.

In other news I saw the acupuncturist today and he was really lovely and supportive. He said that he thought with acupuncture and Chinese herbs I could be pg again in 3 months! Sounds a bit optimistic to me but he did give me a case study to read about a 45 year old who had had 2 failed IVFs and went on to conceive naturally after 5 months of treatment. His view is that western medicine is too quick to put you in a 'box' looking at one result rather than the bigger picture. Still waiting for the other results that I was meant to get early this week....grrr after paying all that money you'd think he could pull his finger out a bit. So..........I guess that is a much more optimistic point of view but I don't really know what to think. The herbs would involve drinking some kind of tea twice a day...not sure what I think about that kind of medicine but I guess it's worth a go? Does anyone else have any experience of Chinese medicine?

Wombat, you are so cute. I love that Yellow practically circumcised a bloke with her dubious bj technique, and Pecker has five hour love marathons with a crooked member whilst your tale involves an innocent young thing called Colin. Love also that you found out his geeky name, something I never remembered felt necessary
I have nothing else to add to this debate!

Oh my goodness yellow - you must have been mortified at the time but what a great story to share now! Dare I ask if you're still in touch?! I am wracking my brains trying to think of something to share..... the only thing vaguely interesting I can think of is a one night stand when I was 32 with a 22 year old whose name was Colin! Talking of one night stands, I saw a hilarious post on facebook the other day of an fb friend in Queensland whose one night stand turned into a 3 day stand as they were trapped by the flooding! Can you imagine?!

Pecker (love the name change by the way) - 5 hours?! How long was it before you had the sex telling session at work when you found out it wasn't a "standard" time....?!

Keep us posted on the job news yellow - fingers and toes crossed for that and the SWI action over the next few days for you and pecker.

DH out on a boozy work night tonight that started at 4.30 straight from work - hmmmm, wonder what sort of state he'll be in.... so I have the place to myself and lots of emails and phone calls to catch up on - ooh, aren't I wild?! Tomorrow night we are off to another fancy dress night - a decade of your choice.

well job thing is uncertain still....looks like on paper I'd be a good fit but I just gave them CV yesterday so waiting to see if they call me...so finger crossed and positive vibes please ladies.....

pecker FIVE HOURS I'm just glad he's managed to reduce that a bit otherwise you'd never get anything else done! Not to mention how exhausted you'd be.......I can't believe you thought 5 hours was normal....bless you!

Well if you want details re blow job.....those that don't please move on, nothing to see here.......so the foreskin bit is attached to the 'main' bit and in this fella case that bit of skin was a bit tight......but it wasn't any more after i'd accidentally erm unattached it a bit with my teeth.......it created a fountain of blood spurting up in the air but after the shock and the healing it was actually better for him and less tight.....soo in a way I did him a favour Didn't I? come on ladies roll up roll up don't be shy....

in other news i will SWIng into action tonight with pre-seed and dipping and waving my legs in the air like I just don't care!

yellow forgot to say, do fill us in on the job front when you know more, how exciting!!!

hi yellow what does ewcm stand for?? Im sure its really obvious but i just dont!!! Dddeeerrrrrrr lol
well my story is, me and dh got together when we were 18, he was my first, him, three more b4 hand... The last one he slept with was a bit excitable and bent his willy back during a session and did some damage, so i received damaged goods!!! Lol
for two years, it would take him up to 5 hours to come!!! I was bloody knackered!!! But carried on thinking that was all normal.
Its wasnt until i got into an interesting sex story telling session at work i found out 5 hour sessions werent normal anyway, his all corrected now, but he still cant manage a quicky!! 20 mins is his quickest to date!!!
yellow how on earth did you make the poor fella bleed, your meant to suck not bite!!! He he

Afternoon all

I might have a hot lead on the job front so keep your finger crossed for me.....

No sign of EWCM here but swi action tomorrow regardless......

sparkly the books all say wine is bad...so moderation is probably better...but so hard to achieve. Since I decided on Sunday to cut down a bit i've wanted a drink more than ever! All this charting and calculating is very complicated indeed......sometimes I wonder how anyone ever gets pg.

liking the new name pecker you must be careful not to damage it cos then where will you be......

I once erm damaged and ex boyfriend during oral sex.......he bled everywhere and all i could think about was the stains on my parents carpet!! ....is that tmi?

Come on any other funny/embarrassing/painful sex stories?

hey ladies its me mrsb33 ive changed, no sure its a keeper but thought id give it a try to see if it fits...
need to clarify, three times in one day was only once!! the day i ov;d hich happened to be the day i spend in bed recovering from my new year celebrations.. he he.
after that me and dh didnt (do it) till saturday, oooopppps poor fella, maybe his pecker got damaged!! lol
sparkly all sounds like fun to me!!

Feelingpeckerish perhaps?
First day back to work after a long weekend so feeling in a daze, and had too much wine last night. Yellow, we have a 'dry' night on Monday and occasionally manage to abstain of a Tuesday unless we can find an incredibly tenuous reason for a drink ("Huzzah, full moon Tuesday, a snifter of wine my dear?"). All other nights we will easily polish off a bottle, and nearing the weekend this will be two and some spirits. This must stop!

I am getting fed up of being hungover and having a pink shiny face, and it is definitely no good for conceiving in my made-up humble opinion. Not for me anyway, I don't seem to have an effective cut-off mechanism. So we are now attempting a detox, bar a binge beverage or two planned for Friday after work with a few colleagues.
AF is due 2 weeks today so that puts me officially in the 2WW camp. However, due to lack of ewcm and general confusedness I'm not sure if and when I have ovulated. Further research on the charting threads seem to suggest that the average luteal phase for a 30 day cycle would be 14 days, which means I ov today, or possibly yesterday - the one day without any swi action! However, by ov day it is apparently maybe possibly too late anyway.
My head hurts with all of this, I need a drink! [bgrin] Oooh, Scottish emoticons! Hoots everyone!

loving the new names for mrsb - I wonder if you'll end up the same as worm with people asking where it came from!

Great that you and yellow are sync cycle buddies. I vote for with alcohol yellow - seems to have served you well in the past

For the record, DH put in a request for the 5am action, however, there is nooooooo chance of that happening. If it was for SWI purposes then I would consider it, but he was just feeling hard done by after 20 days without any sex (don't blame him) due to thrusah / AF. Anyway, just managed a quickie before yoga so everybody's happy!