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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

First post - Likelihood to conceive at 18?

144 replies

Kazine · 09/11/2010 20:26

I know what you are probably thinking - "Why is this girl trying to conceive at 18, she is just a child herself?" But I do have my reasons for trying to conceive, number one being that a baby is what I want more than anything. Number two being that I suffer from very bad depression, and the idea of a baby is the one thing that keeps me in a consistently happy mood. I wouldn't say that I was still a child myself as I have been through more difficulties in my 18 years than some people go through in a lifetime. I hope you will all treat me as just another mum-to-be trying to conceive!

Now, onto my question. Since I am so young, and my partner is also young, is there a greater chance of me conceiving? I know it can take a while to get pregnant, but I'm just wondering if the process of conception may possibly arrive sooner because of my age? :)

Thanks for your help,
Kazine x

OP posts:

tethersend · 12/11/2010 16:34

No, it is attacking you.

BeerTricksPotter · 12/11/2010 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:34

"You silly, silly, selfish girl."

And this ISN'T attacking me? Seriously, it's starting to bore me. I came to the forum, I was honest about what I wanted to do, and now I'm just getting a load of abuse. It's boring. Advising me against something, fair enough, but name-calling is just a bit pathetic.

OP posts:

tethersend · 12/11/2010 16:33

Kazine, that was me being nice.

I actually think you are a stupid, narcissistic girl who is potentially about to ruin a child's life.

Report and delete me if you like.

Or just start a blog.

Faaamily · 12/11/2010 16:32

Kazine, be realistic - not many people are going to say: 'You're 18 yrs old, with no real qualifications, no career, no home of your own, a history of depression and a boyfriend who, despite this, thinks it's a good idea to get you up the duff. Yeh! Go for it, girl!'

No sane, responsible mother is going to say that. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I don't think anybody wants to attack you or hurt your feelings. I think most people are just quite afraid for you, and for your future baby.

Longtalljosie · 12/11/2010 16:32

BOF

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:31

"No pressure on your child there, then.

You silly, silly, selfish girl."

So friendly, welcoming :). Glad I posted here.

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 12/11/2010 16:31

But sassy, Tethers, don't you think?

tethersend · 12/11/2010 16:31

You think, BoF?

I hope so.

tethersend · 12/11/2010 16:30

"I have to find something that I actually want to stay in the world for. This is what will keep me here. Someone who needs me. Someone who I can love and care for unconditionally."

No pressure on your child there, then.

You silly, silly, selfish girl.

BitOfFun · 12/11/2010 16:29

You have to be careful looking after baby laundry too- you should always wash with care.

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:29

"Ah a baby, that well known suicide prevention device hmm"

No need to be sarcastic. If you people are so concerned about my future baby, and are convinced I'm going to mess up so bad, surely the best thing to do would be to be friendly to me now, so that when I do encounter difficulties, I will want to come back to this forum for advice, and not want to avoid this place like the plague because the majority of responses I got were negative?

OP posts:

Faaamily · 12/11/2010 16:28

You're right, nobody knows how hard it is until it happens to them.

I longed for a baby, had no history of depression, a very good job, a university education, a wealthy, devoted husband, a large house and a wonderful mum around the corner, was 27 yrs old...and I still got crushing postnatal depression.

It won't be horrible for you, I sincerely hope so for your unborn child's sake. But I do think you should work on making your life better before you bring another, helpless life into the equation.

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:27

memoo, I haven't even started university, and I don't intend to go.

OP posts:

BooBooGlass · 12/11/2010 16:27

Ah a baby, that well known suicide prevention device

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:27

Yes, GetDown, I do have supportive family and friends, who would be very willing to help me should I ever need it.

OP posts:

memoo · 12/11/2010 16:27

Kazine, can you not wait until you finish uni to ttc?

memoo · 12/11/2010 16:25

Kazine, Please listen to getdown, she talks a lot of sense

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:25

Do you think anyone fully appreciates how hard it is? I've done my reading, I know it's difficult, I know you get barely any sleep, but I don't think anyone knows just how difficult it is until it actually comes along.

Junebug, put it into that context, and yes that probably is the last thing a baby needs. But what about a mother who used to be suicidal, who brought a child into the world, dedicated their life to theirs, and will not have a need to take their own life because they actually have a responsibility and a reason to stay in the world.

Look, I'm bored of defending myself to you lot. I really am. If it all turns out as horribly as you all say it is going to, then I'll put my hands up and admit it was a stupid mistake.

OP posts:

Faaamily · 12/11/2010 16:25

Kazine, if you are going to be a good parent you need to get into the habit of assessing what will be best for your child and not for yourself. 'It will make me happy' isn't going to cut it from now on.

I'm not attacking you but, seriously...think about it some more...

GetDownYouWillFall · 12/11/2010 16:23

I think it's worth saying that you can have a history of depression and still be a good mum.

Also at 18, you can still be a good mum.

But I think it's important to have the right support in place around you.

You are more at risk of PND. There is no question about it. And the "screaming, vomiting ball of need" as someone put it, will not solve your depression.

Have you got supportive family / friends around you that can help you with the baby? Being isolated after having a baby can be a huge thing, and will increase your risk of depression greatly.

Just to add - I had severe depression, and I love being a mum now. I have a very happy little girl. How I would have fared at 18 though, I just don't know.

memoo · 12/11/2010 16:21

Kazine, do you think you fully appreciate how hard it is having a baby?

JuneBugJr · 12/11/2010 16:17

Sorry to be blunt, the last thing a baby needs is a suicidal depressive teen mum, who views it as a short cut to solving all her problems.

I sympathise with the need to have a baby, but we have a responsibility to make sure there's some stability in our lives before a baby comes along. I hope for you're babies sake it all turns out alright, as this reads like a disaster waiting to happen. God knows what the services involved with you are thinking, they are probably horrified.

winnybella · 12/11/2010 16:06

Original poster

Kazine · 12/11/2010 16:05

No I haven't had the idea within the past couple of days. It has been months.

OP posts:

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