Million dollar question!

Fedupttcnosucess - I really recommend reflexology. We spent 2 years trying to ttc ds and eventually suceeded on clomid second cycle. However then starting trying almost immediately after ds was born for another and after 18 months started using clomid again ( was recommended by fertility consultant) after 6 cycles was on my last allowable cycle using clomid (have PCOS so don't ovulate otherwise) and had reflexology and fell pg with dd. Now they are 6 and 3, I have recommended the reflexologist to a couple of people and one of them now has bfp. She really is fantastic. We too are near Oxford.
It really helped me to relax, I don't think she's practicing any more but friends have been to another one and she is highly recommended.
As to be honest most of them seem to be.

Well first baby was unplanned so none of the above. Second baby I did the EPO as wasn't seeing much Egg whitage (but still some), fell second month but didn't stick, lost at 7 weeks . And now trying again, second cycle post mc. So just a tad obsessively searching for solutions as really want to be pg again very soon!

Sounds like you might need to work on your cervical mucus (sorry!). You can take Robittussin (cough medicine, you can buy from chemist but it has to be plain Robittussin)which works by thinning any mucus you do have which makes it easier for sperm to swim in. You already mentioned Evening Primrose oil which I take for same reason. Some people drink grapefruit juice to alkalise the secretions. Toni Wechler advocates using real raw eggwhites as a lubricant if this is a problem (I know, sounds gross but might be worth a go) - Pre-seed is meant to be the closest thing to it that you can buy if you can't deal with the egg whites idea.

Do try and get round the cervix issue. It is a helpul sign and also you might be able to get a better handle on what your cervical mucus is doing if you take it from source! When you DO get pregnant (and hopefully you WILL) then you will have to contend with much worse yucky body issues .

Tweeky can i ask about reflexology? How frequently are you meant to go, if you are TTC? I went to see someone and it was lovely and relaxing. But she didn't seem that definite about how often I went. Did it every 3 weeks for a few months, but TBH my cycles were as shot as they ever were (PCOS) and so have stopped now. Should I have perservered? Gone more often? Ta.

Buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Really useful book.

Get to know your cycle inside out by temping (use Fertility Friend website to plot your charts.), use OPKs twice a day round ov time to ensure you don't miss the hormone surge and use the Deanna plan. Google it for details if you don't know it - basically do the deed from day 10 every other day until a positive OPK then every day until your temperature drops. Check your cervix too - it is a good secondary sign of when you are fertile and understand your cervical mucus (yes nice...).

HTH - worked for me. Conceived at 42 and 46 years! Within 3 months for first dc and 12 months for second.

Also did acupuncture for first.

Good luck.

Hi fedupttcnosuccess!! I am based in Ireland, I didnt realise the website is mainly for Uk, but dont want to leave it as it is soooo helpful.
I would recommend you contact the Beryl Crane school of reflexology which is based in Harlow Essex. If you contact there she can guide you to a reflexologist she may have trained. I went to one of her training weekends on fertility after I qualified as a Reflexologist and she truly is gifted as a practitioner.

I'm not sure how helpful this is going to be (I am still in the about-to-ttc phase) but from your posts on this thread it sounds like you might be getting yourself really stressed out and stress can severely lower your odds of conception.

Why don't you and DH go on a short utterly relaxing break together between now and Christmas? After a few days you'll feel able to slow down, take things in your stride and chill.

Fedupttcnosuccess: apologies for delay in reply my friend called and unfortunately didnt have good news regarding her baby so hence my late reply.
I have done reflexology treatments for 4 people who want to conceive, all but one became pregnant, the latter is trying IVF but her husband did not have reflexology with me, in the other cases I gave treatments to both.
I believe the reflexology helps in some way but I am not taking credit for the conception, as I wasn't there!!
Regarding the energy the reflexology does help with that side of it too as well as general well being. Consider it a time out for yourself which you deserve and take the hour to concentrate on yourself. You seem to have your hands full with work and family commitments and would definitely benefit from a treatment. Best wishes!

Anna yes 12 days is normal. 14 is the average, but it's only when it's 9 days or less that it's a problem.

Congrat NoMoreChocBiscuits Brilliant news :). what you and Miffles said about luteal phase is very interesting, i've never heard about it. so does this not affect the fertilisation? so the pregnancy test would still be positive but then you'd lose the baby?
my luteal phase is abround 12 days, is that considered to be normal?

hi fedup

i dont have any tips that have worked to get a sticky bean but... i have been TTC for 3 years for number 2 (DD took 10 months to get our BFP and we had literally 2 weeks before moved into our new house)... in the 3 years i have had 6 MC (7 altogether) each BFP was following something that either helped me to relax (reflexology, spa day etc) or took my mind off TTC (bereavement, changes at work etc) i do have health issues which cause the MCs so i have an 'answer' but i am getting tested for coeliac disease which can cause depleted vitamin/mineral levels causing unexplained infertility and MCs..

a friend of mine has a similar story to you and decided to get her hair roots tested- this is a private specialist test though so not done by your GP. she did, however get results which meant she needed suppliments as she had low level of essential vitamins and quite a high level of zinc and possiblysomething else which meant that despite her cycle appearing 'normal' and she was ovulating every month etc, her body was not in sync with the cycles and she wasnt getting pregnant because of this. she had to make changes to her diet and avoid doing certain things (hairdresser so did alot of dyes and that was the cause of the zinc i think) and within 3 cycles she was pregnant and had a baby girl might be worth looking into?

You could have a look at this page

If you do like the look of something though I suggest researching it thoroughly first though. I've found these sites never back themselves up with any scientific evidence.

No wonder you've named yourself Fedup!! I would be too in your shoes (you can even shoot dagger eyes in my direction, I won't be offended )

Thank you Fedup. You're cycle is perfect so I would not recommend the licorice tea to you. It is supposed to help balancing hormones, but you don't appear to have a problem with that. I had a luteal phase of only 9 days. And to be honest I have no idea if the tea helped or if it was a coincedence!

How long have you been trying for? If it's been more than a year have you spoken to a Dr?

I imagine that anything tht helps you to relax could help (ie the acupuncture and reflexology etc others have mentioned)

AnnaM, Miffles washing machine analogy is pretty good. If you have a short luteal phase implantation can still occur, but there won't be enough progesterone produced to and you'll lose the baby within a couple of weeks. I had it happen twice
However this cycle for some reason I ovulated at 11 days before period due and am just coming to terms with the fact I appear to have a sticky bean on board [hgrin]!

I would recommend that you try alternative methods such as reflexology. Reflexology is so relaxing and both yourself and your partner should book treatments as both of you need to be in sync with each other or at least that is one school of thought!!

There are reflexologist registers so you can find one local to yourself or if you are in england you could try getting in contact with a reflexologist called Beverley Crane she is amazing and is based in the UK, near london I think, she could recommend one to you locally. Her philosophy includes no abstinence, but every day of the week and twice on sundays and to enjoy yourselves .
I studied reflexology myself and find it really helps with fertility issues. Best luck!!

It's all to do with hormones, Anna - I think if your luteal phase is too short, it means the next bit of your cycle is starting too soon. So the implantation bit gets cut too short and it doesn't happen properly. Kind of like a washing machine on the wrong cycle ... draining out the water before the rinse cycle has finished! At least, that's how my doc explained it!!

can i ask a (silly) question NoMoreChocBiscuits. why does it matter how long your luteal phase is? i thought implantation either happens or it doesn't regardless of your luteal phase length