Anyone else TTC after a stillbirth?

Thanks Badger, I completely know what you mean about forgetting that you aren't pregnant. I am still surprised by it

I am glad you're feeling sick and tired (in the nicest possible way!) it must be reassuring to have symptoms to hold onto.

We do talk about Bobbie, I've had to tell people that I do want to talk because they had assumed it would be best to say nothing in case I got upset . I do understand though how hard it is to know how to act to help someone.

Seeing the doc tomorrow about some of the blood test results (from the post-birth blood tests). Apparently they've found I have an underactive thyroid which I'm quite anxious about. It might explain though why I am so knackered and can't stop sleeping. I'll need to get it investigated and treatment sorted before I get pregnant again (fat chance right now as I am still waiting to ovulate!)

Hope you are ok x

Awww spilttheteaagain,

Big hugs to you. It will get easier i promise, well... actually you just learn to cope with it better.

I find myself having days where i start daydreaming and then come round realising im crying... Its such an awful empty feeling.

Took me ages to stop stroking my non existant bump and thinking like a pregnant woman. But i promise you will get to a place where you feel you can cope a bit better but you will never forget your lovely little Bobby.

Do you talk about Bobby in your family?
I refuse to let anyone forget about Freya as she was and always will be my beautiful daughter.

Its really hard now im pregnant, i cant let myself get too excited incase it all goes wrong again and i dont think i will until i have a screaming, breathing baby in my arms.

The nausea and exhaustion have set in now but im actually enjoying it

Be kind to yourself spittheteaagain xxxxxx

Hi Badger
I'm still going but having some really awful days. Today's been ok ish but it just all feels like such a pointless trudge at the moment. Very down.

How's about you? Any sign of the vomiting yet, or are you not a puker?

Hi Loopy,

How are you doing? How far gone are you now? Have you had any early scans?

Hope everything is going well.

Spilttheteaagain,

How are you? I hope your doing as well as can be and getting lots of suport and hugs in RL xxx

Oh, congratulations Badger!

It'll be a really hard time for us all, but statistically it should all be fine, and we have each other....... also trying to pep talk myself!

Take care, sickness has just hit me and I'm struggling today, but at least my mum has gone home!

Lots of love all xxx :)

Thank you Spiltheteaagain
No the post mortem came back with nothing, her heart just stopped beating... It still kills me everyday but thankfully i have my DS to keep me going ( a very big job for an 18 mth old).

Its gonna be a very long pregnancy i think but, im gonna try and enjoy it as if it does go wrong again i wanna make sure i have celebrated my 3rd addition to my family. Can you tell im trying to pep talk myself already hahaha

BDB fantastic news! Congratulations on your BFP!

It's going to be a very different experience I feel, a pregnancy after such a late loss. Like you I'm shaking my head at my previous naivety when I thought that 12 weeks meant you were pretty much safe. The thing is, you are pretty much safe, but having been in the minority once I'm terrified of it happening again. I've been shocked over the last week or so to see how many people on MN have been affected by a late loss.

Did you get given any reason for what happened?

Hi Loopy, sorry I havent been on in a while. Congratulations!!!!
Whats happening with your Mum?

Spittheteaagain - Im so sorry to hear of your loss... I can remember the pain of losing my daughter like it was yesterday so know exactly how you feel. I too was desperate to be pregnant again after Freya died 3 months ago. Take your time and be very kind to yourself as you need it.
I hate the fact that so many woman have to go through this pain. I wish I was still the woman that believed once you have passed the 12 week scan it was plain sailing til the birth...

I found out last night I am pregnant too. Was a very faint line on an ebay cheapy so this morning was banging on the door of Boots as soon as they opened and my Clearblue says 1-2 weeks... Not even due till Sat.
Im so happy but so worried about getting too excited incase this goes wrong too.
My due date would be 3rd July xxx

Due date should be 26th June, which is DD's birthday! :)

Yes I just saw your other thread and was at your mother's responses, both to this pregnancy and your last one! I hope she'll come round in time, hope it doesn't spoil things for you and DH now.

So have you worked out your due date now?

Thank you! He does know, he's very pleased but it's a bit tricky right now as my mother is here, and although I told her she doesn't seem to believe it and is totally in denial. :(

Congratulations!

I'm so pleased for you. Does your DH/DP know?

I am! Positive digital test this morning! :)

Of course you're welcome to join us! I'm so sorry to hear your story, make sure you take some time to grieve with one another. Take care. :)

And thanks, keeping my fingers crossed! :)

May I join you? My loss was a very late MC that needed a vaginal delivery so to me it was a stillbirth.

We're working towards ttc again soon. We lost our baby to a MMC detected at the 20 week scan last Thursday. I was induced and delivered Bobbie on Saturday.

I'm so sorry to read about all of your losses which are so much later than mine.

I'm devastated by the loss and also feel a need to be pregnant again, but it's so frightening after the experience we've just had.

Loopy congratulations, it sounds like you are pregnant! They say a line is a line, and I believe the digitals are less sensitive? Let us know what the tests say tomorrow morning. Good luck!

UPDATE:

Did a test today (due on Monday). Faint line. My mother (with poor eyesight and even poorer attitude) refused to believe there was a line. Did Clearblue digital: not pregnant. The other (1st response) is still showing a faint line...

When I was pregnant before the line was so faint that I had to buy a digital, but that time it agreed. That was on expected period date though, and twins, so still faint...

Oh I hate this! Am I or aren't I?

As I was helpfully reminded lots of times scanning isn't going to prevent anything happening but it did give me a little bit piece of mind. On top of the fortnightly scans I often went to triage in a panic if I did not feel any movements, the midwives were happy to let me sit with a trace on just to reassure me. They said it was normal behaviour for someone who had a stillbirth and were happy to give reassurance.

I think if you choose to get pregnant, once you are in the system and dealing with not only the docs but the midwives too you will hopefully be treated with more compassion. My consultant was fab so I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have to come away from your appointment feeling the way you do.

LL it doesn't sound like you have had very good care, I would ask for another appointment so you can both go in together, write a list of questions and concerns you have and address each one individually.

We had a still birth DD at 38 weeks in March 09, same again that PM inconclusive and it was then put down to assumed abruption. We did start TTC straight away as it was what we felt would help, and I was pregnant by June 09 and delivered DS2 in Feb 10 by c sec.

The pregnancy was consultant led with all apps at hospital with regular, almost fortnightly growth scans and assessment of liquor volume. None of these appointments were for any health reason or benefit other than keeping me sane although I knew myself that nothing could prevent it happening again if bad luck (!) were to strike twice.
All the staffs were very supportive and apart from the odd misplaced/inappropriate comment the care was great but I was aware the whole time that I was just being managed to the end.

It is hard and not something I think I will do again but so worth it.

Don't write off trying again on one bad appointment, perhaps contact your local sands and see if they offer some form of contact with the local hospital.
I hope you feel strong enough to try again.

Loopy im so sorry for your crappy meeting.

Can you request another consultant? My post mortem came back with no results but im still high risk with consultant care so what that woman said is complete rubbish!!!

I have also been told I can choose when to be induced/sectioned from 37 weeks depending on how the baby is growing?
If i get offered all this i dont understand why you arent being offered it too as we have both lost babies in pregnancy.

How you didnt smack her after her folic acid/ drinking/smoking comment i will never know. You are a better woman than me

Big hugs to you tonight xxx

Thanks for the hug Loopy, believe me i need it sometimes.

Partyorganiser and Izziesmummy im so sorry to hear about your DS and DD. Congratulations on your pregnancy and 13mth old son. It gives me hope to know others can go on and have healthy pregnancies and children after such heartache.

I spoke to my consultant when i had a meeting to hear my daughters post mortem results and he made me feel much more positive about another pregnancy.
I have lots of scans lined up for when i finally get pregnant as well as a choice of c-section or vaginal birth. I hope your consultants are as helpful as mine.

Loopy -Good luck tomorrow

Partyorganiser - I hope the spotting is nothing (i had this too with my DS)and good luck with the scan

Haven't seen a consultant yet. I plucked up the courage to speak to my old midwife today and she was lovely - (remembered what we'd been through). I've actually had a little bit of spotting today and she's going to organise a scan for me asap. She also offered to come and see me at home if all is ok on the scan which I thought was lovely of her, instead of going up to the GPs. I've had spotting with all 3 previous pgs, only 1 of which was a MC so here's hoping. It will be good to know if there is anything there though.

I'm sure the consultant will be lovely and will understand how frightened you may feel about being pg again. Hope it goes well x