TTC after a Miscarriage - Let This Be Our Lucky Thread!!!

And those plans will come again hun! You need to get to a place with DH that he truly understands what this means to you and he should get on board but it need to be clarified as to why he doesn't want another baby!

The post about replacing, i knew that came out as waffle, i didn;t mean that you want to replace the baby you lost, i was thinknig more about the feeling, to be having another baby as it's what you want so much!

Oh god, maybe i shud shut up! Spade, hole, spade hole big huge hole! neck deep into!

See, you need to get DH to open up to you, if you have to him that it's only fair huni that he respect you enough to do the same!

Can i ask you a question without you being hurt or wonder why i'm asking it??????

Why do you want another baby? I know thats a really awful question to ask but you'll see where i'm going with it!

You feel that your on you own now dont you? Well your not, there are so many people out there that care sooooo much for you but in times like having a M/C some people really dont ahve a clue what to say and it results in you feeling like your on you own with no support! Well you will always have us! And maybe the people that aren't giving you the support you need, you shud talk to them if you feel you can! you need as much support around you at the mo! If people aren;t offereing it it's only because they dont know how to treat you! I felt the same when i had my M/C but was soooo thankful that i found Diddle on here, she helped me sooo much (along with others) cos i cud let myself go and say what i wanted! This is why u need to be sad if you want to be!

I don't want to replace the baby I lost - after all , he or she would have developed an individual character and looks that I couldn't produce again. But I know that I hgave gone head long into wanting another straight away because I want to go back to that place I was before I lost baby. I want that future back, the plans I had made the hopes I had...

LL you've really got me going now...

Dh and I have spoken at great length about his and my feelings and I told him all the reasons why I want another baby. But now you've come to mention it I don't think he has given me a real reason why he doesn't want the same as me. I know he has issues with providing, money and the stress that comes with having a family, but he hasn't actually said this, just skimmed over it.

I do respect his feelings, I mean that, but does he understand my desperation? I really don't know...

we are in stalemate right now, and we don't know where to turn. Whoever gets their way, the other is going to feel hurt and resentful...and that person will be me - it always is... I hurt so much, my heart is aching with the pain of losing my baby, feelin glet down by th epeople around me I thought cared and now dealing with not being able to have the one things that would make my life complete.

When i said that there is gap that you want/need to fill in order to be happy I mean that you feel that you need to fill it for you to be happy. This is not tha case, you are still grieving hun, you are going to feel like this! It's natural and for you DH to deny you the oppourtunity to TTC again straight away is hurting you cos u want to replace what you have lost!

Does that make sense?

Oh sweetheart!
Right first of all go and get your self some tissue, swill ur face and make yourself a nice cup of tea with some choccy biscuits!
With all these emotions running through your head you ahev been surpressing them! I can see that with your humour it's a defense mechanism and that inside you are hurting so much and you almost dont want to admit to yourself that you are in pain. this is why it's good to let it allout hun! You have lost a baby that you longed for and now there is a gap that you want/need to fill in order for you to be happy! You really need to sit down with hubbie and tell him exactly how you feel but also try (i know it iwll be harD) and think why it is he doesn't want another baby! Has he actually said a reason in which he doesn't? Does he know how you truly feel or have you only touched on the surface of your feelings?
It is perfectly natural to have these feelings hun, have you given yourslef enough time to grieve? Have you at all? You need to!
About feeling that DH is your soulmate, there is no cliche in that, i feel that about my DP! you are feeling very insecure at the moment and you are going to be feeling like DH is against you but u really need to find out deep down what is going on in his head and he also needs to know what you are going through!
People can say that they have spoke about it, btu have you really spoke about it and been completely honest and open, spoke from the heart, dont hold anything back - but dont argue or raise your voice!
Maybe he needs to know what in your heart CH!!!
You need to carryon talking otherwise u will send urself crazy! And i dont want that! x
Love ya xxxx

It's not possible hun! I think we shud have a ranting session! will feel much better bout it!
go on... tell me whats the first thing that comes into ur mind that ur not happy with!

I wouldn't want to bring you down further though LL.

Oh CH! Glad ur feeling better now hun! If u want to vent anything i'm here for the next 1hr and a 1/2!! bug huge hugs for you CH! XXX

Feeling quite low myself!

Sorry I had to run off like that earlier. I got a bit emotional and needed some time out, needed to breathe. Feeling a bit better now.

LL - I hope your headache eases up. I hate those pressure headaches. They make me feel really sicky.

Diddle - of course not hun! I'll be allright x

Strike - I'm not too bad, was ok when i came back from lunch but have a kinda heavy head now, a pressure head ache i think! Feel bit poo!

Got lots of twingy af symptoms and felt a bit low earlier, but made myself get into my hamster wheel at the gtm and I feel all bright and chirpy now (well..ish) Just want af to arrive so I can enjoy my weekend now. How are you feeling now? You sound back on form!

Strike - LOL at screaming, V good idea! Hows you? x

Ohhhhh I love new threads, they fill me with new hope.

GOOD LUCK GIRLS!!!!!!

Hope you feel ok soon CH. Put on a sad song and have a really good wail, maybe try my screaming into the wardrobe trick I mentioned a few weeks ago, works wonders for me! It's a bit little the primal scream theory, but toned down and sound deaded but clothes....so the neighbours don't think you mad

Why u not feeling to great? Are you ok huni? xx

Sorry, I'm going off for a bit, not feeling too great...
speak later xx

CH - sounds like you have had a busy day! time to put ur feet up now! How you feeling now? Any better?

Great new Thread Diddle! Please please please let this be ours!!! And of course to everyone else!
I totally agree with what u said Diddle, this thread is to be yourself no matter how you are feeling!
i'm leaving behind my thougths of my possible M/C on the other thread. It's over now so i can concentrate on this thread being positive for me! So all thoughts of that are staying there and not going to creep up again! well thats my plan at the moment!
Ooohh, feeling much better now!

I just went for lunch at a friend from work, she has a few days holiday so she invited me round for lunch! She did me a lovely cheese, tom and lettuce roll! Very yummy! Also had some lemonade with frozen strawberries in! So yummy and such a novel idea! By the time you've drank the the lemonade the strawberries defrost and they taste so yummy! Feeling very lifted now!

OMG! Now I am feeling down! Just looked at my calander and noticed I should have had my booking in appt today, and should have been having my 12 week scan on Monday Sorry, can't typr for a mo...

Last post was a bit of a contradiction, wasn't it. Thought I had done nothing ll day, but having thought about it I had