We're taking the train...some now boarding, some delays, some still standing on the platform! TTC 'Waiters' IIT!

Ooh Squirrel look at you standing on the edge of the precipice and getting ready to jump! So excited for you.

I think you speak wise words about threads 'amplifying your own thoughts' by the way, I'd never thought about it like that. I think I definitely felt a renewed sense of 'agghh!' when thinking about the amount that one's life changes when one has children. But looking at it positively has made me think about whether or not I'd feel fulfilled as a full-time SAHM though (I don't think I would) and so to give some thought about what I'd like my ideal set-up to be and has lead to some interesting discussions between me and DP about how we would manage to retain the important bits of our life around caring for a child (not easy but at least we're discussing it positively).

I think it's nice that we're all at different stages of things on this thread, it helps to put the whole thing in perspective.
WYorksLass it's really good to hear about OHs who have moved their position in regards to having babies. When you're stuck in deadlock over something like this (as some of us here are or have been) it feels like nothing will ever change, so it's good to hear that it can and does. Saying that I definitely feel like mine is moving his position quite rapidly compared to a few months ago - I don't think I could have foreseen that tbh.

I had swine flu last year - do I still need a vaccine for it this year or would I be immune anyway? I would get one if I asked as I am asthmatic.

Hehe, glad to hear I'm not alone! It's not just the pay itself, but also I'm not keen on starting a new job and then almost immediately taking a year off. I don't think that'd go down well with any employer.

Your dress sounds nice too - simple and elegant is my style.

lol Squirrel, the only reason i'm still in my job is maternity pay too :) I'm soo bored, the only thing keeping me going is the fact i could be out of here in under a year (fingers crossed), this message board helps too!

Very good news about your coil, how exciting! My OH is also very excited and i'm sure brings the topic round to babies more often than i do. This is in stark contrast with a year ago when the the very mention of "baby" freaked him out. So have hope you others with reluctant OH's.

The dress is a fairly simple white (actually ivory but that's a bit poncy for me!)strapless number with a bit of a train and some silver detailing at the left hip.

I'd probably have the flu vaccine whilst pg too. They use a "dead" virus so can't cause flu etc. I do have quite a lot of faith in doctors though which may be naive. Having said that my Grandma was offered Thalidomide when she was pregnant many years ago, thankfully she didn't take it. Perhaps i need to research!

Hi all! This thread goes quite quickly! I've only just managed to catch up sounds like last week was an emotional one for everyone!

bebe how exciting that you have no more jabs, have you talked any more to your dh about it?

jbells I've been to japan once before, but I find it quite hard to get by there! Not being able to read anything is tough. Enjoy your holiday, Malta sounds fab

amummy and js sorry to hear about your work situations :( I have work issues too, but mainly I'm just a bit bored and don't think that management care enough about the area I work in! Luckily I have no issues with any of the people I work with. Am sticking it out here for the maternity pay!

ac that's tough about going back on the pill. Any more progress with your oh?

wyorkslass exciting about the wedding dress! What does it look like?

Hi also to everyone else

I got lost on the bike talk too - although I cycle to work every day, my bike is an old fashioned style one with only 3 gears and a wicker basket! I prefer to run for serious exercise.

I also read the 'is it all worth it' thread, and it seemed mostly positive to me! Difficult, yes, but worth it in the end. TBH i think there were so many different opinions expressed that reading it would just amplify your own thoughts.

I had a quick look at the vax thread, have to say I'm not fussed about getting vaccinations while pg. Don't think they'll do any harm. But I had the swine flu one earlier in the year and it made me feel rough for days so I'm keen to avoid this year's if possible!

Exciting news here is that I get the coil removed tonight, so I guess that makes me officially ttc #1. DH is very excited, he keeps talking about babies - I think it's only kept in check because we have a friend staying short term, and obviously we don't want to let on to her! I'm excited and nervous, but mostly just in denial at the moment.

this new piece of advice was only isued on 30th September 2010, so only very recent

as well as the at risk groups, (elderly / ill etc) they recommend that all pregnant women have the new flu jab (which this year is seasonal flu + swine flu)

However when i am pregnant (or breast feeding) there is NO WAY i will allow them the inject me with all that stuff

jbells hope you feel better soon

just a quick message go to malta to see my family tomoro for a week, and wont have internet access, i hope u all have a good week, and i will speak to u all when i get home... i just hope this blooming sickness passes... bye bye

no one has even mentioned the flu jab to me at drs etc, is this something that they reccomend?

hello again

JS so sorry to see you are sad . i know what you mean, i would want my OH to see his ex ever again, (though wouldnt mind if he met up with his ex ex)
He doesnt like it if i see my ex, but trusts me and if i do i do. we talk on facebook occasionaly and he doenst mind
hope your boss gets nicer [hug]

100 years good luck with your Drs i have managed to get an appt for next week where i am going to discuss the flu / swine flu jab and see of i can have it before TTC, (will explain that i wont have it while pg, end of) will also make it a pre pregnancy check up! ooh how exciting

right i should be doing school paper work now i better get on with it

AC I think you need some hugs. I couldn't imagine stopping contraception to only have to start it again. :(

I don't understand the bloke who say there is no difference between TTC now and in 2 years time, it's a who broodiness thing and wanting a family etc thing the reasons you want it now, and 2 years to wait is a f*cking long time etc etc, it may not make any difference to them, but to women I think it makes a lot of difference. Fortunately my OH is very understanding of my broodiness and knows if I am a little down why I might be that way, he is exceptionally good and I am hugely grateful for that.

jbells I've been dreaming as well about babies, although I'm not upduffed yet. Mine aren't quite as vivid as yours.

just shagging sorry you are still having shit at work :( Poopants really for ya. Regarding your DH meeting his ex, for me at the moment with my OH I am very laid back, chilled and have no worries when he meets his ex or one of his female friends, however with my ex I was totally the opposite, I was jealous and insecure, and hated the thought of him even texting one, though I would have never stopped him. Now with OH I am fine, I think for me it's to do with how he makes me feel generally and I know how much he loves me.

WYorks Yay, another bike lover :) This is ace. I used to have to carry my bikes up 3 flights of stairs, you get the knack of it after a while. Glad your dress fit perfectly for you, excitement building then :)

I'm feeling proper broody again today and I'm not enjoying this whole waiting thing. It's not good when you are counting down to your period, and even then it's not been 100% confirmed that its is next month. I have warned OH that there will be tears if he puts it back and I may take to acting like a small child. I can't remember if I have already posted this in here, but it's how I'm doing at the moment. Hopefully less than 4 weeks to wait. I dread hearing that someone else is preg at the moment, I just want it to be me and I want it to be me now.

I have booked appointment at the docs for Friday so will know then about the meds I am on and if I have to stop them.

Was hoping to have a swim this morning but the pool had some kind of pool party thing going on and so I couldn't, I think that might be accounting for my lull in mood as I am missing the exercise, got a gas man round at the moment so I'm stuck in till he's finished.

Must cheer up

Hugs for JS and AC and anyone else who wants one ((((((((((((()))))))))))).
I hope everyone is feeling better now. I was a bit down in the dumps at the beginning of last week but i think that's because i was off work with a flu-like bug and PMT to boot :( I'm back to happy again now though.

I am also a bike lover and have a Giant SCR road bike as well! I also have an ancient mountain bike with broken gears and dodgy brakes, it is mostly used for cycling along the canal. I did cycle to work occasionally but the driving is so atrocious round here it makes me nervous on the road and i nearly got knocked off by a white van man last time. I have a turbo trainer too but it hasn't had much use lately, i need to get it setup somehwere. I do find it pretty boring though. When i lived on my own i used to carry bike up to my 1st floor flat and do it in front of the telly :o

I had my 1st wedding dress fitting on Friday and it fitted perfectly :) It was a bit long but that's to be expected. I can't wait, 8 weeks to go, arghhhh!

oh i thought she was here, like quod says he prob wants to see her for all the right reasons, and i do bump into and speak to my ex every now and agen, but i know his gf does not approve of him speaking to me, i wouldnt ever go for a meal with him not because it wudnt be nice to catch up we were great friend more for the reason that i wudnt want DP to do it as i wud be extremely jelous, panoia and jelousy are def something i need to work on, not good traits and i know im wrong for it, its great that u can be so relaxed bout it like quod, i think im just a generally very insecure person tho :S

JS sorry you're having a shitty time. I think definitely when you are down about stuff generally it triggers you to feel more paranoid.

It's a difficult one with exes, isn't it? I am still friends with all mine and see one of them really regularly as he's still a very close friend, luckily DP doesn't have a jealous bone in his body! (And of course he doesn't have any reason to be jealous.) I also have another ex who lives abroad and if I was in the country I'd definitely want to catch up with him. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that IME spending time with exes can be totally un-"charged" and just about spending time with someone you obviously liked as a person for good reasons.

Still, I can understand why you feel uncomfortable and it's annoying that he didn't check how you'd feel. If he hasn't seen her for ages perhaps he's nervous about it and not really dealing with it very well? I think it can be really cathartic to see an old flame in the right context when you're happy and secure in a new relationship, and put old ghosts to rest, if that makes sense. Maybe he wants her to see that he's happy and fulfilled without her...and quite possibly he'll come home going 'Oh my god I'm SO glad I'm not with her anymore!'. Saying all that though I think you have to be really sensitive about your current partner's feelings about it and maybe he's not been as sensitive as he should have been.

Totally understand that it's hard when they're away a lot, my DP has been away 2 or 3 nights a week for the last month or so and loads more coming up. It definitely makes me feel lonely and exacerbates anything I'm feeling a bit low about.

Sorry to hear your boss is being a bell-end too...

He's in Germany - and meeting her.

i ma definately the paranoid type, an when you r unhappy with things it def accentuates the feeling, atleast she will be going back to germany thousands of miles away soon :)

I don't think they've met up since they broke up about 4 years ago. She lives in Germany and isn't often in London so they have never really had the chance. I think they email but probably not that often.

I haven't really stayed friends with my ex's but I occasionally bump into one of them at the station and DH knows that.

I should know that he won't do anything but sometimes you can get paranoied!! Think it's probably because I am really unhappy with everything else at the moment that I am worried about it.

hey JS, sorry your felling so bad, know how you feel with DP being away its really lonely isnt it :( y is your boss being so difficult, do u think he/she is doing it on purpose?

and wow u must be very laid back am a really jelous person, my dad cheated on my mum loads and my first serious boyfriend i caught in bed with someone else and i dont think that was the first time he did it, so i know i have some trust issues, do u know why hes meeting his ex, have they stayed good frineds since theyve split up? dont want to fuel the fire but he prob shud of checked that u didnt mind b4 he arranged to meet her :( do u ever speak meet up with any of your ex BFs? i think if it is worrying you that you shud tell him because like u sed he may just think that meeting her wudnt bother u

Morning laides!
What a lovely grey Monday it is..... :(
Sorry I've not been on here for a while, things have been quite hard at work and DH has been away so I've not had anybody to talk about it with and have ended up getting pretty miserable.

BFH has been a complete C*ck (so much so I was in tears on Thursday night !!! ) He made me stay late on Friday night because they hadn't got their shit together for a big presentation they were supposed to be preparing for today. No thanks or anything......

DH has gone off on business again today. He's back on Wednesday at about midnight. Feeling a bit sad as I really missed him last week.

Am also feeling a little bit funny because he is going for dinner with his ex tonight. I know that I shouldn't care and I do trust him 100% but there is still something about it that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. She was his last love before me and I think that she ended things and broke his heart. He only told me on Saturday that he had arranged it and didn't ask if I was ok with it. I guess that he just assumed it would be ok as I am prety laid back about things and don't really get jealous but this ex is different.

The week from hell also made me really frustrated about the TTC issue. I know that if DH would work on my timetable then I would be so much happier in general and the problems at work would seem much less important.

Just want to be tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and a good book, not in the office :(

morning all,

sorry youve had to go back on your pill AC i do agree with bebe that most people are never 100% ready, if i waited for DP to be a 100% sure about anything i wud be waiting forever he over thinks everything, it sucks that men think u shud just wait for them to be ready what about your needs and wot u want? sorry for rant just feel like babies are something there shud be more compromise on and tends not to be

so on another note had another i had another dream last nite this time i was having triplets and i remember being in labour and pushing them out which was suprisingly unpainful but by the time the third one was ready to come out i was to tired so they kinda pulled it out my belly hehe, i am having such vivid strange dreams every nite, least theyve moved on from being really scary like they were in beggining

i am supose to be going on hol tomoro, and DD is starting to come out in rash, i really hope its not chicken pox :(

Strawberrypie I think you're right. DH thinks it's only right that we should wait as long as it takes for him to be completely ready and takes the view that there is absolutely no difference between ttc now and ttc in, say, 2 years time.

Well not sure whether it's the right decision or not but I'm back on the pill for now sigh See you all tomorrow x

I had the swine flu vaccine earlier on in the year/end of last year(whenever it was out) through work, I'm currently undecided about getting the flu vaccine this year, it does contain the swine flu vaccine and 2 other strains, I can't remember off hand what they are, we had all the bumpf about it at work again. I think for me I potentially only have one month before I would have to think hard about having it done. When I see the doc I will ask her about it and see what she says. If she says they will give it me then I will have it there and then, but I'm not sure when they start rolling out the vaccinations.

strawberry this is the one I am thinking of getting, it has good reviews from people I know who have one, turbos can be quite noisy, this one apparently is one of the quieter ones.

Started the day with a cross trainer session :o Feel good for it, but a little tired now!

I think someone commented about how nice this thread was because we talk about all sorts, I must admit I think the same, I may have a look at some of the other threads soon, but for now I will stick to this one.

nannyl I think you have got to weigh up the risks involved in having the swine flu vaccine whilst pregnant (very low) against the risk of contracting the infection (potential death for both you and the baby) and decide. It would be an ideal option if the GP could give it to you before TTC though. I certainly believe in vaccinations for what it's worth.

Do you think one of the reasons you might be feeling so frustrated AC is that the timing for TTC seems to be entirely up to your DH at the moment and he keeps changing his mind?

I find things are easier to deal with if you have some degree of control over a situation. I know you can't force him to give you a definite date to start TTC but I think to be fair on you he really should!

100years I see what you mean about the cost of the turbo compared to gym membership! Looks much more sensible now! :)