The TTC List of ridiculousness (TIPS)

wow sweetsherry hats off to you, that is seriously putting in the effort!!

I have just spent a week taking red clover blossom after 8 weeks of no AF post ERPC for mc (apologies for all the abbreviations, hope you are keeping up ). I guess it has worked as my temp chart says I have ovulated! At least I am one step closer now

Oh goodness Bee Pollen is one I haven't tried - and I thought I'd tried everything! I also haven't tried surrounding myself with orange- it's really not my colour, but needs must..

+++++++++++++++

Here's what I've tried:

Wearing rose quartz (didn't work)

acupuncture (may have helped #1)

baby aspirin (isn't helping, but may have helped #1)

Gaifensin - doesn't work

Preseed et all - doesn't work, but doesn't hurt

Tampon inserted post DTD (tmi, sorry. Not sure if effective, may have helped with #1, not helping #2)

Having a nappy (a clean one!) under bed (hasn't helped)

Fertility hypnotherapy CD (early days)

Burning Baby Powder candle (yankee candle)(hasn't helped, doesn't hurt)

Eating Maca (it tastes gross, but is palatable mixed with barley coffee)(hasn't helped)

Agnus Castus (didn't help, quite the opposite, my cycle went crazy)

B Vits - (didn't help)

Progesterone cream to lengthen luteal phase - (hasn't helped)

Losing weight, going teetotal, cutting caffeine - (hasn't helped)

The big O post-DTD - (wasn't necessary with #1, hasn't helped with #2)

Buying a CBFM - (helped with #1 (didn't get chance to use it!))

Drinking Fertilitea - (doesn't seem to work, but haven't really given it a fair trial)

Fertility bath oil - (rip-off, no use)

Consultation with NHS Fertility Specialist followed by LAP&DYE - did the job 4 months later. This is what worked.

All the rest is b(sht!!

Right that's it, having Googled it myself now and so today I'll be off to Wholefoods to buy some and add it to next cycle's ridiculous schedule - Thanks MA

I was really hoping this was my month but did a sneaky test this morning and BFN (cd28) and now can fell that ol' familiar heaviness and dragging in my lower belly . . ..

bee pollen!!

I bought some for DH years ago to help his tummy troubles (woman in the shop told me it helped promote intestinal flora) It tastes gross so after one spat out dose I inherited the bottle, and I decided to take it everyday - waste not want not! and then...

A very short time later I got pregnant (unplanned) and when I googled to see if it was safe to keep taking it I found a million sites proclaiming it as a miracle infertility cure!! I have since lent the bottle to a friend who also fell pregnant a short time after.

Want more proof? Before trying to conceive number 2, I just BOUGHT a bottle and got pregnant from just one shag!! Didnt even have time to eat the stuff!

Summary: scientific evidence = zilch
In my option: foolproof plan.

Mamapower, Zita will probably tell you what she thinks about anything you like if you cross her palm with silver...
Goddess of fertility my fat northern arse! Marketing genius, nice filler and spin-nurse, ya bet cha!

hum! Zita West, whilst arguably the queen of fertility she's not quite god, even though some people worship her as though she was There are lots of alternative idea's out there that aid ttc that aren't advocated by her but that's not to say they won't work. I'm gonna stick to my post shag orgasm for now ... wonder what Zita thinks of that ?!

'Tis true, the concentrate ones are full of sugar. I will be participating in a bit of nut crunching, grapefruit squashing and pill grinding this forthcoming month

owls i wish DH would bugger off to make himself a pot of tea post Shag.. and let me sleep!

I'll give you ttc nonsense. Zita West. End of.

Hairy I just know that the 'from concentrate' juices don't have the same nutritional value as the fresh pressed/squeezed varieties and have read that you should buy the fresh as opposed to the 'from concentrate' types.

Grinding pills into his dinner?? Nicks that takes the .

Oh; one more : ensuring maximum chance of swimmers ending up in correct place by (ahem) "finishing" one's self post-shag once DH has pottered off to make cup of tea. I just don't do well under pressure, y'know.

Loola that sounds like the best excuse ever for eating toffee crisps. Yum :)

Oh Hairy well done for getting this together, I've been meaning to try and collate all these Top Tips for ages!

I'd like to add that this cycle I tried the cough medicine thing for EWCM pre OV and it definitely did the trick but also had a crazily runny nose too which was not so helpful and not particularly attractive!

Another one is Australian Bush Flower tincture She Oak which is supposed to help you not stress specifically about fertility/conception . ... .oh come on, what harm can it do?!

I've done a lot of these things this month (not cat, rollercoaster or orange though) and if it doesn't work I'm adding in some of the others until I have a fully ticked checklist!

I eat three/four brazil nuts every day after OV and drink a glass of pineapple juice (pressed not the 'from concentrate' stuff) at this time also as I read that women doing IVF had often been advised to do this on the LP.

clareanna I think thats actually scientifically proven believe it or not, remember hearing it on the radio about 5 year ago! some German study.

Apparently surrounding yourself in Orange things/clothes etc. as Orange is symbolic for fertility?! It was reason enough for me to eat a toffee crisp everyday while going through IVF (with dd!!)

Owlshoes my poor DH also has no clue.... gets his pills ground into his Dinner

what is Maca?

Well, I went on a roller coaster a few hours after we had done the deed ( not in the theme park obviously!) am convinced that being hurled around and upside down helped the swimmers find their target!!! Rofl!!

Pumpkin seeds - have been sprinkling them on top of DH's food pretty much every meal time (lots of zinc I think?).

He has no idea what I'm up to. He thinks I'm just trying to feed him salad to keep him healthy.

I'm sure someone told me maca was good for men, helps increase volume of liquid?

Has anyone heard of Maca? Am not entirely sure how much of this is a good thing for conception - but the literature I have read seems to suggest it's a really good thing for fertility. Hmmm...

IzzyWizzy Loving the image of letting the car drive itself

I have been told to relax, that what will be will be and that if it's meant to happen it will happen. Funnily enough all by people who already have children Other than that I think the only tips I've got from other people have included wine and forgetting to take the pill!

Dont have any to add that haven't already been said but just marking my place.
Mama We do that too

MMM firm believer of position! Woof Woof style - delivers sperm right up inside as far as they will go so have less distance to swim, plus they dont fall out!!! Orgasm helps carry them further in aswell.

Agree - elevate hips on a pillow as gravity always helps. Feetup on the wall!!! Attractive!

Mamap just awesome!!

Zinc and selenium for DH swimmers
Fish oil also apparently - something to do with mucas! (cant quite remember - i just follow the list)

Agree with Carib about the BVits.... although they arent helping my spots at the min GRRRRR!!

Interested in grapefruit juice and brazil nuts tho