Clearblue Fertility Monitor Support Group Buddies Vol 4!!

Choccie I am so sorry to hear what you have found out.

However, it does appear that you GP would be supportive. IVF can only be denied if you are likley to pose a significant risk to a child OR they do not have enough evidence to demonstrate that you are unlikely to pose a significant risk. Do you think it might be worth discussing the HFEA guidelines with your GP in advance so that you know that she understands it is about risk to a child and NOT your ability to cope with IVF. If she understands this and knows you are unlikely to pose any risk then it might pre-empt the situation and prevent her sending irrelevant information regarding your depression.

That said, I am really worried about what's on my medical records now. I have had three diagnosed bouts of depression in 10 years. I've had time off work, been on AD's and undergone counselling. All on the NHS. Fortunately, I've never seen a psychiatrist though, so maybe that's a good thing....

Actually ignore my last post Missy, I just scrolled up. You peaked on day 15 so you will need to wait until next cycle. My brain's not working properly today. Preparing for an interview tomorrow and v. stressed at the mo.

I peak on day 15 and ov day 16 (28 - 29 day cycle). I had my bloods done on day 22 and they were fine.

keziah I promised to report back after my appointment with my GP re possible impact of 'depression' in my notes affecting my chances of receiving IVF. She was very reassuring, and said she didn't think depression should be a factor and that people had 'ups and downs' throughout their lives.

I pressed her though, wanting to know exactly what my notes said, and it turns out that although I was not diagnosed as depressed last year, one of the psychiatrists I saw has nevertheless written (after a 30min meeting) that she thought I was 'prone to recurrent bouts of depression' in ym notes. This little gem has never ever been relayed to me before. I was appalled that that was in my notes, and when I said to my GP I thought that was a big stretch to make after such a short meeting, my GP turned all 'expert' and said, "Yes, but these people do this all the time and they are trained and they know what they are talking about....".

So I guess because my notes say I am prone to this, that as far as anyone in the NHS is concerned, I am. This is despite the reality that I experienced depression once in my early twenties after a violent attack, and a second time nearly two decades later when I had a MC. There you go, expertly 'labelled'. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I'd have thought it not totally weird to experience depression in the wake of shocking traumatic events.

So although I am reassured that my GP thinks I should not be denied IVF based on my medical notes, I am nevertheless a bit bothered by the fact she insisted (thinking it would support me) that both she and the aforementioned psychiatrist should be involved in the decision if it were to become an issue. I have no idea what that pyschiatrist would think! So.... I just have to cross fingers it doesn't come up.

And I am more certain then ever that no matter how much of a crisis I ever find myself in pschologically, I will NEVER EVER again turn to the NHS for support. Learned my lesson well.

The only thing I can offer you in support though for you experience, was my GPs feeling that depression alone should not be a reason to deny IVF. x.

Missy Did your doctor book you in for bloods on day 21? As your cycle is 32 - 42 days, this is probably a bit early. Bloods should be 7 days beefore AF due. So for you, anything between day 25 and day 35. They are going to be a bit harder to estimate.

When did you get your peak day on your CBFM this month. Just thinking you might not have missed the window to have them done this cycle...

Well, that went better than I thought. He booked me in for bloods on day 21 which'll have to be next cycle now as I'm on day 24 today. I'm also going for a smear with std tests to rule all that out. Hubby will be next so I'll get him registered at the surgery.

I feel better just having done that. The ball is rolling.

Poor notnearly 2.5 hours? Wow. My cycle goes from 32-42 days so can empathise with you.

Thanks for good wishes boba KC Keziah and NN plus anyone else I've missed. A weight has been lifted for now. Next stop bloods. :)

Good luck Missy

Hi ladies, just popping in (being back at work is very inconvenient, has severely curtailed my MN'ing
)
Good luck Missy, hope your Dr is on the ball.

Storm, I think the laterns are a wonderful idea, your post made me very sad for you.

Am still waiting on AF, day 33 - will it ever come? I thought it was settling down as last month was 28 days bang on, but no my body has other ideas

I have the huff today, bloody tube strike took me 2.5 hours to get to work

How weird I'm super nervous about seeing the doc. Hope he's understanding and doesn't just say carry on trying. Wish me luck girls...........

Thanks, yes a cry did help - just got lots out. Dh not well after a week on antibiotics right now (he is NEVER ill) so sending him back to dr's tomorrow and not allowing him to go to work. Got bit stressed about that, not sure why.

Missy - understand your logic. When I first went it was good to hear we were doing all the right things and I got offered general blood tests etc - to check things like thyroid etc, to see if any physical issues that can prevent pregnancy etc.

Thanks guys, we did the chinese lanterns thing about a week after my termination back in may, just cos we both felt like we needed to do something - our baby was so alive in our hearts and although we never actually got to meet him/her it just seemed right.

We're planning on doing it again, like I said, for some sort of closure, cos every week since I've been like "I would've been 20 weeks this week and so on" - I've been counting down the weeks/months, every scan that would've been, every doc/midwife appointment that was never and every movement that I never felt.... for nothing really!!

Missy & Izzy you can write on the lanterns if you want to0 - just need a couple of them sharpie markers.

knackeredcow I bow down to your superior knowledge!!!!

Yeah it probably did work, and I will probably keep going with it next cycle, I'm just getting very frustrated at the late ov/short luteal phase. MC was in July and I'm starting to wonder when or if I'm going to get my normal cycle back!!!

storm I think the Chinese lanterns sound lovely, we're planning on doing something similar on my due date (21 Dec), as it's something nice we can do as a family to remember DC3 and DS and DD can be involved without it being morbid. I think it's a great idea x

Hi All

Izzy to put your mind at rest it sounds like your CBFM is working just fine. Women are fertile up until the day of ovulation, but generally not beyond as the egg doesn't live for very long. NICE guidelines suggest that women are most likely to conceive if they BD 2 days before ovulation. Temping tells you when you ovulate, so it confirms ovulation has taken place, but by this point it's generally too late to conceive. The CBFM looks for the peak in LH, which occurs 1 - 2 days before ovulation. It sounds like your CBFM was spot on and temping has confired that you did ovulate.

Been doing some reading around the subject and sperm has to undergo a biochemical reaction before it can fertilize an egg. This is induced by the female reproductive tract. It does take some hours. Although sperm can get to an egg very quickly, it isn't ready to fertilize an egg for some hours. The process is called capacitation. Therefore, you need to have sex before you ovulate so the sperm are not only in the fallopian tubes waiting for the egg, but they have also undergone capacitation.

Bless, that sounds a a really nice sentiment, Storm I'm thinking of doing that on Christmas day for my Dad who passed away 2 years ago. I'm hosting Christmas this year so I'll get everyone to write a letter to someone no longer with us and send them up.

As you said, I also think about that 'just because someone is pg it doesn't effect your chance any more or any less.

I've finally made an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow so I can at least start the ball rolling. I'm going alone first just to see what he says the next step is as I'm 34 in Feb so want to 'register' while Im still 33. Sounds weird but it makes sense in my head!

Hugs to everyone as sometimes that's what we all need.

Hello all - sorry haven't been posting, I have been lurking though. I've been irrationally at the CBFM this month because it gave me a peak on day 20 but my temps confirmed ov on day 23 so I think we missed the window. It also gave me 10 highs before the peak which has to be wrong, so generally hasn't been very helpful!

Anyway enough about me, hope you're all doing ok - rosie sorry honey, that's really rubbish luck, especially two months in a row . Totally understand you taking a break, hope it helps and you get your sticky bfp soon x

Right, now I just need to update my stats which were a couple of days out. Am not getting close to testing though as although at end if normal cycle length, I'm only 5dpo . I'm hoping AF will just be delayed and give me something resembling a decent luteal phase but as I only got 8 days last cycle I'm not too hopeful!

Todays stats:

In School
wantbaby TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 4, age 38, UCL 30, CD36
Notnearlyasblondasiwas TTC#2, Cycle #1, CBFM Cycle 1, age 33, UCL 28-39, CD32
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC #3 Cycle #3, CBFM Cycle 3, age 34, UCL 26-28, CD28
Stormbird TTC#1, Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 4, age 28, UCL 28-32 CD25
EmmaC29 TTC#1, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 1, age 29, UCL 26-29, CD25
Missyraines TTC#1, Cycle #12, CBFM cycle 7, age 33, UCL 32, CD23
Ses TTC#2, Cycle #4, CBFM cycle 6, age 37, UCL 30, CD20
Birdietimestwo TTC #1, Cycle #2, CBFM Cycle 1, age 36, UCL 24-25, CD19
chocciechip TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 9, age 39, UCL29, CD17
Starlet22 TTC#1, Cycle #15, CBFM cycle 9, age 34, ucl 25, CD17
alien06 TTC#,1 Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 1, age 28, UCL 30-33, CD15
Boba82 TTC#1 Cycle #18, CBFM cycle 5, age 28, UCL 30 (FX), CD12
Lychees TTC#2, Cycle #13, CBFM cycle 9, Aged 36, UCL 30-35, CD9
Keziah TTC#1, Cycle #27, CBFM Cycle 15, age 35, ucl 28-31, CD8
AnytimeNOW TTC#3 Cycle #6 CBFM 5 age 38 UCL 28 CD8
KnackeredCow TTC#1, Cycle #14, CBFM Cycle 3, age 31, UCL 28, CD5
PinkCustard TTC#2, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 6, age 33, UCL 30-32, CD4

The Dog Ate My Homework
Headbanger TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM Cycle 2, age 30, UCL ?, CD?

Playing Truant
FlyingCat TTC#1, Cycle #26, CBFM cycle 2, age 30, UCL 28-29, CD132
Rach879 TTC#1 Cycle #7, CBFM cycle 1, age 30, UCL 30-34, CD99
Jenni4 TTC#2, Cycle #5, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 26, CD79

Graduates
HairyTriangle BFP ?
Emmylou30 BFP 22/10/10
MissLolita BFP ?/10/20

Todays stats:

In School
wantbaby TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 4, age 38, UCL 30, CD36
Notnearlyasblondasiwas TTC#2, Cycle #1, CBFM Cycle 1, age 33, UCL 28-39, CD32
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC #3 Cycle #3, CBFM Cycle 3, age 34, UCL 26-28, CD26
Stormbird TTC#1, Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 4, age 28, UCL 28-32 CD25
EmmaC29 TTC#1, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 1, age 29, UCL 26-29, CD25
Missyraines TTC#1, Cycle #12, CBFM cycle 7, age 33, UCL 32, CD23
Ses TTC#2, Cycle #4, CBFM cycle 6, age 37, UCL 30, CD20
Birdietimestwo TTC #1, Cycle #2, CBFM Cycle 1, age 36, UCL 24-25, CD19
chocciechip TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 9, age 39, UCL29, CD17
Starlet22 TTC#1, Cycle #15, CBFM cycle 9, age 34, ucl 25, CD17
alien06 TTC#,1 Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 1, age 28, UCL 30-33, CD15
Boba82 TTC#1 Cycle #18, CBFM cycle 5, age 28, UCL 30 (FX), CD12
Lychees TTC#2, Cycle #13, CBFM cycle 9, Aged 36, UCL 30-35, CD9
Keziah TTC#1, Cycle #27, CBFM Cycle 15, age 35, ucl 28-31, CD8
AnytimeNOW TTC#3 Cycle #6 CBFM 5 age 38 UCL 28 CD8
KnackeredCow TTC#1, Cycle #14, CBFM Cycle 3, age 31, UCL 28, CD5
PinkCustard TTC#2, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 6, age 33, UCL 30-32, CD4

The Dog Ate My Homework
Headbanger TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM Cycle 2, age 30, UCL ?, CD?

Playing Truant
FlyingCat TTC#1, Cycle #26, CBFM cycle 2, age 30, UCL 28-29, CD132
Rach879 TTC#1 Cycle #7, CBFM cycle 1, age 30, UCL 30-34, CD99
Jenni4 TTC#2, Cycle #5, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 26, CD79

Graduates
HairyTriangle BFP ?
Emmylou30 BFP 22/10/10
MissLolita BFP ?/10/20

Hi All,

Boba I remember that post about "just because someone else is pregnant/has a baby doesn't mean they've taken your chance " - I have tried really hard to remember that!!

Lychees Its definately not just you - I try to remember when these times come around that thats their life - not mine, and when my time comes around and I'm the one thats up the duff, then there might be someone I know who feels the way I felt when there were all these PG women about or announcements and they were struggling!! Its a horrible way to feel but its normal.

My problem is that I hate it when people gush about how theu 'are now 12 wks PG and can tell everyone and its been so hard trying to keep it a secret' (recent situation). I also hate it when someone is over sensitive and has to tell me first like I'm some kind of special case (also a recent situation & yes I know she meant well) - You just can't win with me. I blame hormones!!

Anyway Lychees I hope you can feel a bit more upbeat soon hun. On a lighter note (and please take this in the most lighthearted way possible) sometimes I deal with situations like that by thinking 'she might be up the duff, but she hasn't got my legs' - thats terrible isn't it .....

Keziah , Boba is right, sometimes a good cry for no real reason does us the world of good. I'm expecting one soon, a) cos AF is on her way so am feeling rather volatile on the mood front, b) cos a week today would have been my due date! I'm hoping that as this is the last (for want of a better word)'Milestone' then I will get some sort of closure from it - I will be going to Epsom Downs to let off some chinese lanterns to mark the occassion.

Pink Good question ..... I never thought about that. Hope someone can shed some light on it.

Will post again soon.

xXX

Hello lovely ladies,

I've been thinking and have a question: why are men asked to refrain for 4 days before providing a sperm sample (sorry for diving straight in with the use of the word 'sperm' at this time of the morning)? Does it provide a 'better' quality of sample? If it does then I'm considering the radical action of not having sex throughout all the High days, and maybe holding out til the final High (and then still doing it on the Peak days too). Is this a crazy idea?? Thoughts please...

Lychees it is certainly not just you, I think Pink summed it up so well.

Boba sorry you had that drive home, I have had a few of those.

I cried today, lots (thankfully day off work!) for no real reason ... other than the obvious!

Hugs to all -think we need them sometimes x

No Lychees it isn't just you at all.

Sometimes I feel quite positive and optimistic, and then something small suddenly makes me feel all sad and 'it's not fair-ish'.

Today I'm feeling quite fed up that I have spent the past 10 months thinking, obsessing, planning and getting upset about something which happens so effortlessly for other people and yet which still hasn't happened for me.

It is very very hard, but I'm just hoping that when (if?) I finally get pregnant this time in my life will seem unimportant and will fade away.

Can you nip out of work for 5 minutes to clear your head?

It isn't it strange what little things affect you!?! I'm thinking of un-friending my cousin's wife on FB because she's pregnant with their second and posts things like, "another month closer" on her status. For me, "another month" just means another month that we have failed to get pregnant and now, I'm sitting at my desk, close to tears and unable to concentrate on work.

I was perfectly fine before. Is it just me?

P.S. Sorry about the "me" post.