Clearblue Fertility Monitor Support Group Buddies Vol 4!!

Kezia: this is why I keep on reiterating that you are welcome to support us and we you, because from that perspective we are all in the same boat. We all want a baby, and cannot communicate that in RL constantly without attracting clever comments from people who we hold dear. MN is a saviour forces in that we let off steam, share each others ups and downs and still retain some sort of sanity in the process! This ttc malarkey is a hard slog- and without this fantastic resource to channel our thoughts it can seem quite bleak. Please let us know how we can help you, or even have a moan and let us know what you are going through. It helps you offload, helps us to understand that to feel like that is normal, so when we feel down( which is more often than not! ) we can accept it as such and most importantly the advice on here from ladies of strength and wisdom - like KC is invaluable. Hang on in there hunni- I hope in time this will be a distant bad memory, when you languish in your baby's laughter. It is better that you focus on the positives that you have in your life Joe, your health, your family, etc than to linger with bitter feelings towards the prejudiced few who made all these life changing decisions for you. Your approach: to heal yourself first will stand you in good stead in the long term. I have faith and hope for you. Don't lose sight of your goals and purposes. Xxxx sorry for such a lengthy post :-)

Fedup - you and people have been so kind, so thoughtful, the only people who have "heard me" ... in real life few know about desire for a child, after all that makes things harder and those that do - well you would explode if I said what they told me!!

Keziah: wishing you all the best. Sorry we cannot be of further help. Totally understand where you are coming from. Feel free to vent,rant and express your feelings and experiences here anytime you want. That is what this thread exists for, after all. Xxx

Vikks I remember you - congrats on your son!!

Thanks Choccie, KC and Fedup for supportive posts here - you will all be fine getting treatment, it is just me. We are going to take some weeks to just get over the hurt right now (after all as a teacher I can't have holiday right now!!!) and then use all the info and advice and try to forget how much older my eggs are getting,... and keep ttc with CBFM, ie naturally ... I have read all your great ideas and posts, just bit too sore right now to act!!

Sorry for weird post and layout- am on iPhone!

Choccie: I agree wholeheartedly with everything you have just suggested to keziah, and if you read back a few days back you will find that I also suggested similarly to you, for keziah to seek a second opinion and to contact her MP. However, if you read back, it didn't go down too well, for whatevever reason. . .
Inspite of this I wish keziah the best of luck and hope that she finds a way of achieving her dreams.

keziah I am shocked. I imagine that you are struggling now to hear anything anyone says to you, because of the awfulness of your situation.

But the one thing I want to say to you is that no matter what medical situation you are in, you have a right to a second opinion. Believe me, I KNOW how exhausting and hard it is to fight the mega-system, but keziah, you must try. This decision is beyond horrific given the implications for your future. Give yourself time to gather your thoughts and strength, and then fight back hard.

DH and I were talking about this, and he thinks this is the sort of thing you really need to speak to your MP about. If there is any possibility that NHS trusts are using 'depression' as a way to deny treatment for budgeting purposes, then its utterly unacceptable.

I also think that if the treatment has been denied on the grounds that you are a 'significant risk' to children, then surely logic dictates you should be put on some kind of register and stopped working with them? I doubt the NHS want that... so I would also explore legal-aid and talking to someone there to find out if your rights have been compromised.

The other thing DH said, and I agree so strongly with him here, is that you should get in touch with a leading depression charity (www.depressionalliance.org/) and describe your experience in detail. You need a powerful lobby group to support your position, and advise on how this can be rectified, and if there is anything they can do to help.

Finally, I wonder if its not worth writing to MN HQ, and telling them what's happened to you. From what others have said on this thread, I wonder if you are one of many people in this situation - and if things will get steadily worse as spending cuts bite. If people like you are so understandably devastated by the news, I think it is entirely possible that maybe people aren't coming forward. It might be worth finding out more and getting some sort of campaign going by linking up with a big organisation.

All I can say keziah is that I am horrified and devastated for you. I have no idea what will happen to DH and I (we have our first meeting next week). My gut insticnt is we might be OK - we're paying, and I bet that makes a difference. But it's also what makes me so so angry for you.

If you want any help writing letters please let me know. I'm sure I and all the ladies here will support you as you go forward. But don't give up - its too important to you.

Hi Ladies,
Most of you probably don?t remember me but this used to be my sanity thread too! I can?t tell you how grateful I was for the support and encouragement I got from ladies like you going through exactly to same as I was. It really did keep me going when times looked very bleak. My TTC journey was such an emotional and frustrating time in my life and I really believe that this thread helped me through the days and there should be more help out there for ladies like you. Keep doing exactly what you?re doing and never give up.
After a gruelling three years TTC, I got my BFP on this thread on 3 Feb and although we had other treatments I always used my CBFM to reassure me that the medication was working. In a few months (if DH has his way) I?ll be dusting off my CBFM and joining you again!
Anyway I just wanted to say hang in there and miracles do happen. My beautiful precious son is 11 days old today!

Notnearlyasblonde Congratulations!

Notnearlyasblonde Congratulations on your BFP. Wishing you well for a successful pregnancy.

Keziah I am so sorry. I don't know what to say at all. Have they provided their decision in writing to you disclosing the exact reason for refusal to treat?

Could you consider treatment abroad?

notnearlyasblonde HUGE congratulations!!! That's fantastic news!!

keziah I don't know what to say - that is so unfair. Please don't give up, there really has to be a way around a decision like that . Thinking of you x

Hi ladies, I got a positive test today on CB digital 1-2 weeks. Am in complete shock. Hoping it is going to stick tight and I will continue to lurk to cheer you all on.

Lychees: thanks for your kind thoughts re mil. Unfortunately ultimately it's a slippery slope in that mil has degenerative kidney disease as a direct result of diabetes. Thankfully, she is stable now, and as comfortable as she can be. Feel so sorry for her and helpless at the same time. She's such a fabulous mil and to watch her suffer in this way is pure torture.
Keziah: so so sorry, hunni. Wish there was something I could say, but words escape me. Main reason for this is the fury I feel towards the approach to fertility treatments this country takes and also the utter disregard for the way in which they treat their patients. Grrr...
Please try and stay strong Hun, it's hard- but even though it sounds impossible, miracles DO happen. Do not despair. If nothing else, stay strong as a couple who knows you may fall pregnant naturally. I have heard of this in RL- it's not unheard of. Not trying to raise your hopes- just some food for thought.
I really am very sorry and feel furious...

Congrats MissLolita - great news.

Sorry for making things sound positive... found out today that despite gp doing what was asked they not going to treat me. No treatment for me, no support - and unless I find a miracle no child as issues are with dh - his sperm clump together adn destroy each other. And my eggs are gettign older which never helps.

all the best to those ttc.

And congrats to misslolita - that is fab news!!

Just popping in to update the stats...AF got me today after another rubbish 8-day luteal phase

sorry I'm not posting much atm, but I am lurking and reading your posts...big un-MN ((hugs)) for those who need them, thinking of you all x

In School
wantbaby TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 4, age 38, UCL 30, CD39
Notnearlyasblondasiwas TTC#2, Cycle #1, CBFM Cycle 1, age 33, UCL 28-39, CD35
Stormbird TTC#1, Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 4, age 28, UCL 28-32 CD28
EmmaC29 TTC#1, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 1, age 29, UCL 26-29, CD28
Missyraines TTC#1, Cycle #12, CBFM cycle 7, age 33, UCL 32, CD26
Ses TTC#2, Cycle #4, CBFM cycle 6, age 37, UCL 30, CD23
chocciechip TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 9, age 39, UCL29, CD20
Starlet22 TTC#1, Cycle #15, CBFM cycle 9, age 34, ucl 25, CD20
alien06 TTC#,1 Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 1, age 28, UCL 30-33, CD18
Boba82 TTC#1 Cycle #18, CBFM cycle 5, age 28, UCL 30 (FX), CD15
Lychees TTC#2, Cycle #13, CBFM cycle 9, Aged 36, UCL 30-35, CD14
Keziah TTC#1, Cycle #27, CBFM Cycle 15, age 35, ucl 28-31, CD11
AnytimeNOW TTC#3 Cycle #6 CBFM 5 age 38 UCL 28 CD11
KnackeredCow TTC#1, Cycle #14, CBFM Cycle 3, age 31, UCL 28, CD8
PinkCustard TTC#2, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 6, age 33, UCL 30-32, CD7
Birdietimesthree TTC #1, Cycle #3, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 24-25, CD1
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC #3 Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 4, age 34, UCL 26-30 CD1

The Dog Ate My Homework
Headbanger TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM Cycle 2, age 30, UCL ?, CD?

Playing Truant
FlyingCat TTC#1, Cycle #26, CBFM cycle 2, age 30, UCL 28-29, CD132
Rach879 TTC#1 Cycle #7, CBFM cycle 1, age 30, UCL 30-34, CD99
Jenni4 TTC#2, Cycle #5, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 26, CD79

Graduates
HairyTriangle BFP ?
Emmylou30 BFP 22/10/10
MissLolita BFP ?/10/20

Congratulations MissL...FX it's a sticky one for you. Not had time to read from beginning of the thread. What is your history? Hopefully everything will be fine. If you DO have previous worries or concerns then discuss them with your gp. HTH x

Hi everyone, sorry for the long absence, I've had a bit of a frenetic week and haven't had time to get online much. Well, on Saturday 30th I did a test and got a BFP! I haven't really had any symptoms and tbh it hasn't really sunk in.

I'm a bit worried still as I've been spotting every day so I don't know whether it will stay or not. I registered with a doctor this morning but the nurse just said to book a midwife appointment and that isn't until 1 December. I don't know if I should be worried or not?

Thanks KC tomoz night I will know for sure, will keep you posted x Thanks for the good luck wishes for tomoz, will report when I get back from the Docs! xx

Hello Everyone,

Sorry AF got you Birdie. Hope next month is your month hun.

Keziah it sounds to me like everythng is looking slightly more positive, I hope that everything works out ok. So sorry to hear what you've been through...

Nothing to report here! I'm going aweay this weekend to visit my family up north so may not post for a few days. I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

XXX

fedup, hope your MIL makes a speedy recovery.

Sorry AF got you Birdie.

Keziah, I have my fingers crossed for you.

Todays stats:

In School
wantbaby TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 4, age 38, UCL 30, CD39
Notnearlyasblondasiwas TTC#2, Cycle #1, CBFM Cycle 1, age 33, UCL 28-39, CD35
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC #3 Cycle #3, CBFM Cycle 3, age 34, UCL 26-28, CD31
Stormbird TTC#1, Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 4, age 28, UCL 28-32 CD28
EmmaC29 TTC#1, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 1, age 29, UCL 26-29, CD28
Missyraines TTC#1, Cycle #12, CBFM cycle 7, age 33, UCL 32, CD26
Ses TTC#2, Cycle #4, CBFM cycle 6, age 37, UCL 30, CD23
chocciechip TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM cycle 9, age 39, UCL29, CD20
Starlet22 TTC#1, Cycle #15, CBFM cycle 9, age 34, ucl 25, CD20
alien06 TTC#,1 Cycle #4, CBFM Cycle 1, age 28, UCL 30-33, CD18
Boba82 TTC#1 Cycle #18, CBFM cycle 5, age 28, UCL 30 (FX), CD15
Lychees TTC#2, Cycle #13, CBFM cycle 9, Aged 36, UCL 30-35, CD14
Keziah TTC#1, Cycle #27, CBFM Cycle 15, age 35, ucl 28-31, CD11
AnytimeNOW TTC#3 Cycle #6 CBFM 5 age 38 UCL 28 CD11
KnackeredCow TTC#1, Cycle #14, CBFM Cycle 3, age 31, UCL 28, CD8
PinkCustard TTC#2, Cycle #11, CBFM Cycle 6, age 33, UCL 30-32, CD7
Birdietimesthree TTC #1, Cycle #3, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 24-25, CD1

The Dog Ate My Homework
Headbanger TTC#1, Cycle #9, CBFM Cycle 2, age 30, UCL ?, CD?

Playing Truant
FlyingCat TTC#1, Cycle #26, CBFM cycle 2, age 30, UCL 28-29, CD132
Rach879 TTC#1 Cycle #7, CBFM cycle 1, age 30, UCL 30-34, CD99
Jenni4 TTC#2, Cycle #5, CBFM Cycle 2, age 36, UCL 26, CD79

Graduates
HairyTriangle BFP ?
Emmylou30 BFP 22/10/10
MissLolita BFP ?/10/20

My stats got all out of sync. Hope everyone elses's is still correct. I'm on CD14 and still lows ... a little bit unusual but still bd'ing every other night and hoping for highs/peaks soon.

Morning ladies, changed name to birdietimesthree from birdietimestwo - long story.

Anyway - AF got me this morning. First proper CBFM cycle and we BD'd on both peak days. Phht. And I came out in hives last week for the first time in my life and stupidly hoped it might be preg related !

Boos75 I'm no expert but I would take that as day 1 - if you normally have a very light period on day 1.

Boos: sorry for hijacking the thread a bit! Feel free to bring us back into line again!
KC: you are very clued up, which is cool!
Keziah:excellent plan to go with the flow, swimming against the tide harder and takes longer to reach your destination.
We are taking things easy for a while now- looking after mil:who is home now after a few days in hospital. Charting, etc taking a back seat now. We'll see, what will be will be. We are sort of resigned to heading to the ARGC in the New Year (when we are both on holiday), we've given it our best shot so far, and that's proved futile. Ultimately, it doesn't faze us how we get there-as long as we DO get there! Don't know if that's the right approach, but feels right for us.