Charters Anonymous : Volume 2

excellent stuff terrys, can I just say though that ff changed its mind on me at least three times, so if you want to keep going 'just in case' it wouldn't necessarily be in vain. Although it will feel more like sff than swi, which is always nice.

Glad to hear yesterday went well mouse

I had a nightmare evening very and about it, too much to go into detail here and not at all relevent to ttc. But right now I'm waiting for the third shite thing to happen as bad things always happen in threes...

and again - third time lucky here

damn, so excited, I messed up link!

again

OMG, I am so excited!! [[http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/terrysno2Look!!]

However, DH and I only SWI-ed on CD11 and 15 so maybe not enough this month, but just excited to see that line!!

Glad work was ok, Mouse. I think the hardest day is the first.

Glad the reflexology was good battery. I've got second needles session tomorrow.

I feel so sad for Lily Allen. She lost her first at about 18 weeks too

Terrys you might find you just have a longer cycle this time. Hope it comes soon.

I'm cd19 and still waiting for ov - hopefully soon, cervix high but not open, some ewcm although still streaky but no pos OPK yet. Dull, dull, dull [[http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2fee7f
here]]

Hey ladies, had my first day back at work today and survived - hurrah!

Really sorry some of you are feeling so down.spilt it was not your fault. I'm really sorry they told you over the phone like that.

Oh, I got my results from the 'reswab' today and am MRSA free - woohoo! Still have to be swabbed again this week and next but so far November = good news! Would just like to be pg again now please! (will be a miracle if I even ov before xmas)

Battery I'd love to have reflexology and infact my mum is trained in it but doesn't practise do you think it would be weird to ask her?

Sending love and hugs to all - hippy nice to see you back

Right, medicinal glass of vino here I come.

xxx

(Terrys I also meant to say thank you for your post, the reassurance helps)

p.s poor lilly allen xx Its awful at any point but it must be awful in the public eye too x

good luck at your scan tomorrow digi - I hope you get the right result xxx

evening:)

Just popping in to say I had reflexology tonight and really enjoyed it.I had a thumping headache before hand and it totally cleared. She only wants me to go once a month which is a lot cheaper than the acupuncture lady who wants me to go once a week at £37 a go

Back to work tomorrow - [nervous face]

GP is Thursday morning at 9am (I haven't been up before 10am for about 3 weeks now so that will be a slight shock!)

MrsA I didn't like to say it earlier but now you have I'll agree. CM is easiest to investigate after a poo

Lily Allen's will be a stillbirth, at 6 months she must have been about 30 weeks poor girl. Absolute tradgedy.

digi I'm glad you found work ok. Is the scan to check everything is out now?

Terrys a short LP can cause problems but it doesn't mean you are doomed. Mine is 9-10 days which is certainly on the short side (normal is 10-16) and I searched MN for threads on short LPs which gave a load of anecdotal evidence of people conceiving with 6+ day LPs. I conceived within 3 cycles last time. Wait and see what happens this time round, your cycle may be longer if you ovulate late. The plus side of a short LP is you know that AF is late so much quicker! Hippy was also a 10 day LP girl and she conceived quickly twice. Got to keep hoping.

Halfday not halfway

Your ewcm sounds perfectly normal mrsa!

terrys keep on trucking, perhaps your temps do a strange fallback thing. Or perhaps your temps are sensitive to whether you've got the heating on or sleep with your mouth open. We'll help you figure it out eventually. But do not get stressed about them. Or we'll have to confiscate your thermometer.

spilt when is your gp appointment?

Work was fine. My boss tried to be nice to me at one point and I told him not to be. Everyone else was suitably non-questioning (apart from a few 'how was your weekend?' to which I replied hmm)

Got a halfway tomorrow. Scan in the afternoon.

I know what you guys mean that I haven't OV-ed yet but last month I had a 26 day cycle and I'm now on CD17 so it would be a very short LP if its the same which I understand isn't a good thing for getting PG??

Oh spilt, how awful for you - ignore the words of an unthinking receptionist and see what the GP has to say and take it from there - one day at a time.

Terry like you, I was impatient to get going but it took me at least 3 cycles to really understand my charts (how on earth did I ever conceive DD without?!!) and then my body throws a spanner in with a 35 day cycle last month!
Just try to be patient and I too have heard some people never get a+ve OPK but still conceive.
I agree that your chart does not show ov yet. I'm on CD15 and not got any EWCM, but i normally ov CD18 or 19.
DP getting a night off tonight after 2 nithst 'on' then back to it tomorrow

Btw, when I do get EWCM (normally for 2 or 3 days), it rarely goes clear. i normally get opague, fairly thick globby stuff (lots) that is very stretchy. Should it be clear? TBH I rarely get creamy or sticky - just a couple of days of watery, then lots of opaque stretchy stuff. Does that sound 'normal'?
TMI - I find it easiest to examine after I've had a poo

Oh and finally, poor poor lily Allen has had a miscarriage (still birth?) at 6months

spilt no matter what these tests result say you did not fail Bobbie in anyway. Unfortunately things can happen in life beyond our control and what's most important now is that you don't let it define how you deal with your future. Losing Bobbie was an event which will be a big part of you but don't waste any of your grieving blaming yourself or your body, I don't think that will help you to focus on the important issues and come to terms with your loss and move forward. All the emotions you are going through are completely normal but they aren't necessarily right!

I hope that makes sense.

It was the receptionist yes.

You are both right, it may well have nothing to do with the loss, it may not be particularly serious. And I know it's not really my fault, but it still feels like it is if it's my body that didn't work properly IYSWIM? This is hellish. It feels like an out of control nightmare that keeps taking worse twists. Maybe there's a me in a parallel universe who's still pregnant and ambling along blissfully ignorant of how it could have gone?

Hoping you get your egg on time battery

split I am upset for you. Your gp surgery should never tell you results like that over the phone as now you are worrying yourself to death. Was it the receptionist that told you that? It makes me angry - I work in a gp practice and the receptionists NEVER tell people results over the phone. Also you don't know HOW under active your thyroid is - it might be absolutley miniscule and not a factor - it might just be something they just want to keep an eye on. YOU absolutley did not fail your baby - it was out of your control honey, it was shit, and horrible, and unfair, but not your fault.xxxx

terry - don't worry about FF - my temps are all over the place, but I know its because I haven't been srict on the same timings every day.

bessie glad you are betting nice and fat:)
digi how did work go?

My boss called me today and said I can go back tomorrow - late start and early finish - am off friday anyway as dp is here - 'come on egg!!!!'

Did a pregnancy test today - am 10 days post erpc and it was negative, so I suposse its a good thing...in a sad weird way :(

Fcking doctors spilt* I'm so mad at them for telling you that information in the way they did.

It's NOT your fault. You couldn't have known. And it still might not be the reason. Please don't do any more googling until you have had your appointment. For your own emotional wellbeing. I say this feeling exactly the same way as you...wondering if I've let three babies die because of something my body is failing to do . But we can't go on blaming ourselves, we just have to learn what we can now and hopefully prevent it from happening again. Lots of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))).

Shitting myself now. I have just phoned for a doctor's appointment only to be told "Oh we've just written to you and wanted you to come in. Your blood test results show you have an underactive thyroid."

Of course it's sent me into a tailspin of panic and guilt and worry about whether that's why I've just lost my baby . Googling seems to suggest that the untreated (because undiagnosed) underactive thyroid would have put me at a 4 times greater risk of second trimester loss. So angry with myself, that it could have been my body that failed my Bobbie . Really very upset.

PS bessie - how rude of me - congrats on your pregnancy and I hop everything continues to go well!

bessie thanks for advice, will think about it all. FYI - last cycle wasn't correct as was using dodgy thermometer for first half so "lovely clear shift" was not real!

digi and hippy - had the same dilemma as you both... must have sat there for 10mins debating whether to try fishing it out or not (I couldn't see anything as the pan was just blood) Decided against it in the end as I a) didn't know what I would do with it & b) didn't think it would do me any good to see whatever there was to see. I think I made the right decision for me.

anyway.... I'm supposed to be bringing good news. I'm now 16wks & starting to get fat! We still haven't really told many people - part of me doesn't want to just in case I have to un-tell them IYKWIM. I'm also keeping myself very busy, I think so I don't have too much spare time to think about things too much. I had an early scan at 9wks to put my mind at rest & my midwife says I can go in to see her & hear the heartbeat as often as I need (do you think she'll mind when I turn up every morning? ). I also get some extra scans later on as DD arrived 6weeks early & there is a possibility that this one will do the same.

Terrys The cycle I got pg with DD, I did an OPK every morning & never got a positive... I ended up forking out for a CBFM this time round & found that much better for me (although bloddy expensive - did you know you can buy amazon vouchers with your nectar points??)
Your wobbly temps... I assume you're taking at the same time when you first wake up etc etc, have you considered vaginal temping? I only did it for one cycle, but found the temps to be much less wobbly - I think I must sometimes sleep with my mouth (but not my legs) open wide all night!
and ditto what spilt said about the semen/EWCM - you can drop it in some water to tell which is which, but I can never remember which way round it is. You look pre-o to me too - you got a lovely clear temp shift last cycle, so you should know when it happens - keep up the SWI until then!

Love to everyone else. Remember there's nothing wrong with a bit of grief, tears & soul-searching, but don't let it consume or define you. My acupuncture lady always told me babies need happy bodies to live in, so make sure yours is one of them ready for it to happen.
xx

Actually today I am feeling really hormonal, like AF is due.

Thanks guys! digi I don't have the willpower to not use FF for a week! But thanks for the info on the testing, I guess I have to be a bit more patient and wait out this cycle and if its not clear then I will see the GP.

Spilt I think its all TMI on here, thats why we tell each other online and not to face to face random strangers!! I always have to check from my cervix as not makes it further down but I will be a bit more careful with my EWCM investigation! Its almost always stretchy but varies between clear/cloudy and creamy. I don't check for about 24 hours after SWI as I don't want to dislodge it (not sure if that's taking this a bit too far!).

Aaw terrys you sound very low

Please don't feel bad about feeling down having not just had a MC. Misery is misery and it's no help to compare situations and tell ourselves how upset we are "allowed" to be.

It's up to you really whether you want to continue with the charting, don't feel you have to if it's stressing you out. If the OPKs are not working for you (not everyone gets on with them) then I would ditch them if I were you because it'll just be stressful and worrying not getting the positives.

Just wondering on the EWCM from - is there any possibility that you are confusing different fluids? I remember reading on FF (now this is going to be TMI...) that you produce cervical mucus, vaginal fluid and can contain semen. Apparently the vaginal fluid (aka arousal fluid) is watery and clear and produced when aroused to assist lubrication. And semen will probably still be there the following morning. So they reckon the best chance you have of assessing just CM is to do so before sex and before being at all turned on. Say if you SWI in the evenings, then checking CM in the afternoons is probably your best bet. Also you can "collect" CM direct from your cervix if you are brave enough to rummage.

Hmm, not sure I want to hit post now. That info is grotesque! What the heck...