Charters Anonymous : Volume 2

Spilt I am amazed at your kindness and ability to welcome me! You are a very strong woman.

Evening, I'm not sure about posting my stuff as it is so trivial in comparison to what spilt is going through but I would be interested in your opinions.

I bought a boots ovulation thermometer today and this eve tested my temp (as a test) which was 36.91 and then straight after I tested on the digital normal one I have been using to monitor and it was 36.3. So that is a big difference. I am wondering if my temps have been completely wrong??

What do you think?

Terrys I meant to say welcome to this group, they are a lovely bunch.

My story so far is a fairly brief one. I'm 25 and this is my first pregnancy. I was TTC and charting for 3 months and conceived this one in June. MMC picked up today the 20 week scan, probably lost the baby around 16-17 weeks.

Hope you Ov at a time you can SWI without MIL hindrance!

spilt I am so sorry that in my initial post I didn't realise it was your 20 week scan (I just assumed it was 12wk). I'm sure losing a baby at any stage is horrible but I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Please know that our thoughts are still with you and your family and wishing you lots of love and support for the coming days/weeks and months.

Thank you everyone for all your kind words, I know so many of you have lost babies as well and gone through the shock and bewilderment.

It probably sounds naive, but this just isn't something I ever thought would happen to me. To MC in the 2nd trimester feels like one of those awful things that happen to other people and is terrible to hear about, but you never expect to go through.

I think it's starting to sink in now and I've started to cry.

Trying to think practically about what to pack for hospital, food to take etc. And also we have to read the leaflets and decide about things like postmortems, cremation etc. I feel completely daunted and unprepared.

It's like a very weird limbo and I feel a bit detatched from reality.

Thank you again for all being so lovely. I'll let you know how it goes xxx

split I'm so sorry to hear your shocking news. Wishing you lots of love, strength and support xxx

ell all the best for the future xxx

Spilt I am so, so sorry to hear your news. I can't even really comprehend how you must be feeling. All I can offer is much love and the fact that we'll keep thinking of you. If you feel up to it, please do let us know how you are.

I'm so sorry. xxx

spilt I am so very sorry to hear your news. I know nothing I say can help but I will be thinking of you tomorrow and over the weekend. Take care of yourself. x

Hi split

I'm so sorry for your loss, thats just awful news.

I think shock is a normal reaction, its there to protect you and get you through the next few days. I have been on lots of miscarriage threads long enough to know that lots of people recommend SANDS and the Miscarriage Association as sources of help if you feel that is appropriate. Here are the links:
www.uk-sands.org/
www.miscarriagesupport.org.uk/
I do hope you are getting lots of support in RL.

If talking helps, please keep posting. Wish I could give you a hug, will be thinking of you xxxx

Oh spilt, I am so sorry to hear your terrible news. I don't know what to say, but love and hugs to you & your DH. Will be thinking of you. x

ell sorry to see you go, but understand why. Do keep in touch

oh god spilt there are no words... Am so so sorry, will be thinking of you these next few days.

Ell sorry I totally missed your post last night. Sorry to see you go but sounds like is for the right reasons. Please check back from time to time if you like and let us know how you are getting on, whatever you decide to do next.

Spilt I just read back and saw that this was your 20 weeks scan. I am so shocked and sad for you, I was thinking it was your 12 week. Not that that makes it any easier but you expect things to be ok by this point. I hope the hospital treat you gently and are as supportive as you need them to be.

Wow, what a busy day it's been on here today, but also very sad!
Spilt - I am so sorry to hear what has happened, I hope you have plenty of support over the coming days/weeks. Will be thinking of you! :(

Welcome Terry!

And, did I read it right - did Ell say her farewells to us last night? That seem to have got missed.

Hi splitthetea I've not heard your story on here as just joined you ladies today but I am so so sorry to hear about your MMC. I am sending you lots of virtual love and hugs. I hope that what you have to face this weekend is as smooth as can be expected and that you and your family are with you for support.

You will be in my thoughts and when you are ready we will look forward to seeing you again.

Oh spilt, I am so very, very sorry to hear your sad news. It must be a massive shock. This business is so cruel. I hope you've got lots of support at home. As you know this is very raw for me too and I know nothing I can say can offer you much comfort but for what it's worth I am thinking of you. Please post and let us know how you are, good or bad when you feel able.

Gentle hugs xxx

Well it turns out my dating questions were all a bit academic. We went to the scan and found that the baby had no heartbeat and looks to have stopped growing 2-3 weeks ago.

I've been given a pill to "ripen" the cervix and have to go back in on Friday afternoon/Saturday morning to be induced and deliver.

To be honest I'm completely shocked and struggling to react. Very scared as well about what the weekend will hold.

Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers.

Love and luck to all, and maybe in a while I will be joining you again xxxx

Oh no - I hope I don't OV this weekend - just remembered MIL is coming to stay and combo of squeaky bed and small house will not be a turn on for DH!!! [boo emoticon]

Thanks MummyAbroad - its helpful to know other people are familiar with this. Can you send me the link for your OPK's, I think I need to buy some more. Also, can I aks, do you pee on them like you would a pregnancy test, or do you still dip it in?

If it is pre-OV then my cycle will be much longer this time than last one. On CD18 today and last one was 27 days.

Cheers MA. When do you finish your course of progesterone? Not too long to wait now I hope? I agree with you re: scale, not v helpful as exaggerates every small movement.

Terrys you have to push fingers in and have a feel infertility.about.com/od/tryingtoconceive101/ht/cervixovulation.htm. Mine feels today like I could almost push my finger through it, but I've had one vaginal birth and had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago so suspect is a bit stretched, hence it always feeling a little open like a slit! If you've never had a baby vaginally it feels like a dimple when closed and like a little round hole when open. And the texture changes through the month too - hard when not fertile like your nose, soft when fertile, like your lips.

Thanks Digi - I hope so too . Found out yesterday my SIL is pg due about a month after my due date would have been. Feel a bit sad, but obv very happy for her as she's been trying for a long time for her second. Would be lovely to be pg together.

Hello again Terrys,

Couldnt resist putting my two pennies worth in re: the 30 min thing.

I have been using OPK's from Amazon, and they do not say anything about letting pee "rest" I have however heard that saving up your wee i.e. not going to the loo for a while, could make the hormone levels more concentrated and therefore easier to read. Could this be what the instructions are referring too?

£19.99 is the expensive end of the range. My kit costs around 5 pounds for 25 tests including postage

I totally agree with LadyG that your chart looks like preovulation. I think FF sometimes doesnt help you see this because pre ov it shows a very short chart, the highest temp on the left hand side is only 36.2. When you start getting higher temps FF will stretch out the chart and you will see a higher range of numbers on the left hand side. I dont know why it does this because I find it easier to read a chart where the number range is complete right from the beginning.

Also, bear in mind that stress can delay ovulation!! So getting a massage round about now could help !

LadyG willing those little swimmers on for you!

Thanks guys - digitalgirl I have seen the cross hairs, for one magical day on Monday, until the next day it disappeared again. Was quite !

Patience is NOT my forte. Can you tell??

BTW - LadyG and WIIMT how do you know your cervix is open???

oo and fingers crossed you caught the egg ladyggg, wide open cervix always a great sign. Even better when you actually find it's slammed shut the next day! Incredible what happens inside our bodies.

terrysno2 haven't looked at chart yet (at work). But I always had fluctuating temps before ovulation - by as much as 0.4degrees C. The first cycle is always the most frustrating as you have no idea when you'll ov or even how high your temps are supposed to go. The advice I was given was to not really pay much attention to your chart on a day to day basis as it's much better for giving you an overview. This cycle ff thought I'd ovulated before I actually had. It changed it's mind 3 times before eventually settling on the day I thought was most likely which was 4 days after it's original estimate. If I'd believed FF first time round I would have stopped SWI-ing and probably not got my BFP.

Try not to stress over each temp change until you've got a really obvious biphasic pattern showing up.

Faint lines on OPKs don't mean anything either. I used to get faint lines then nothing, then faint for about a week then the LH surge would kick in. It was my body's way of spluttering out hormones unevenly till eventually the balance would tip in favour of ovulation and an egg would hatch around CD23-25.

Best of luck to you. And we're all here to help decipher your chart once FF starts throwing those cross hairs into the mix!

You too Terrys . Let us know though. I've a bit of a longish cycle so tie myself in knots every cycle trying to work out if I've ovved or not and convincing myself am anovulatory and clearly barren when actually just need to be patient (not my forte) so do sympathise - esp. when you have to keep SWIing. Hope egg comes soon for you!

Right - will stop monopolising thread now (well, after this post ) and post when have more updates.

Thanks lovely ladies for your helpful advice, even if it isn't what I wanted to hear!!

Good luck with charting/conceiving to all!