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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after a miscarriage - ***Lets have some more BFP's***

746 replies

Diddle · 25/08/2005 13:27

Here we go ladies, couldn't wait for a couple of days have started one already.

Lets make this thread a lucky one and make sure we al graduate from it.

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CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 01/09/2005 17:28

Rachey - I had a stillbirth in April and we were told we could try again after we got the all clear from Hosp in late May.Hope this helps xx

Baggybear.Poor you xx What on earth did the counsellor say to upset you so much?? They are supposed to offer comfort arent they???

And I so sorry about your episode at school today.I have a similar problem.I am off on Mat leave and when people say are you on holiday and I see no mat leave the next question is "oh how lovely what did you have?" Then I have to explain and I dont know who feels worse them or me.We should have t shirts printed

BY BABY DIED
LEAVE ME ALONE

Thinking of you
xxxxxx

strike1 · 01/09/2005 17:27

Just back myself. That's terrible baggy, give your self some time, then look for somebody else, you have to comfortable with the person for these things to work.

Well, I've just finished packing for my weekend away and have decided to do one test before I go tomorrow (which should be too early still) and forget about it over the weekend. If there's no af when I get back then I'll test again then. I just wish I knew if I could over indulge on Champagne (which I will make DH buy!)

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 17:18

Hi Xena, hows things?? Are you taking it a little easier? for a minute there i forgot you were "with child" silly me.

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Xena · 01/09/2005 17:12

Hi Diddle I'm here
BB that sounds awfull, I feel really angry for you.

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 17:11

where are you all today??????
is there anybody there?

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Rachey1969 · 01/09/2005 16:20

Thanks Diddle! It was all horrendous and really drawn out, full of false hope and uncertainty. To be honest, when it came to making a decision, they had little choice (which is maybe a good thing IYKWIM). It was amazing she lasted as long as she did, the cysts were growing rapidly and were inoperable positions. She is a very private person and would never come on here herself, she tends to bottle things up and perhaps I am not the best person to talk to about it all being not only pregnant but very emotional with it! We were due the same time (her first, my fourth) she was even due on her birthday. Thanks for your good wishes, believe me, I know how lucky I am and I wish I could be sharing it with her. I will have a look at this thread again tomorrow. Good luck to you.

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 16:13

Hi Rachey,

So sorry to hear what your friend has been through, it sounds horrendous, and what a horrible position to be in, where you have the choice of your babies future, i hope they're coping alright. (which is a stupid thing to say, of course they're not)

As for periods, they can come anytime after the loss, and different doctors offer different advise on how long to wait. The simple answer is, whenever they feel ready to try again, i shouldn't think there is a major time to wait. Having never given birth I would not know a definite answer medically, if she had any complications etc during the birth that might make a difference. But i personally would wait until at least one normal period has passed, that way you know your system is flushed out and everything is in working order.
As for support groups, the only support group I know of is SANDS they deal with stillbirth and neonatal death, they may have some useful advise or at least information on where your friend can find more information, heres the link:

SANDS

Hope that this helps.
There are a couple of others on here who have lost their babies around that time in pregnancy, who may be on later this evening and will be able to give you more advice.

Congrats on your pregnancy buy the way, hope its going well.

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Rachey1969 · 01/09/2005 15:59

Excuse me ladies, I am gatecrashing your thread to ask you a question (I am over on the due in Jan thread). My bf had a termination a month ago due to an awful fatal condition they discovered at her dating scan (we were due the same time). The poor baby had virtually no chance of surviving, massive cysts were growing in her lungs and muscles. Obviously my bf was devastated, having to go through an induced labour at 17 weeks. Now she thinks she is having her first period since then.

How long should she wait before trying again? She is waiting for the results from the autopsy (they take ages) to find out if it was genetic. It wasn't chromosonal.

Do they take special care (ie scanning) in these sorts of circumstances? (i keep telling her they will)

Are there any special support groups she could contact? She is obviously really worried about trying again.

Thanks for your help and good luck to you all!

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 15:31

How have you got in contact with them, is it the miscarriage association or through the doctors?

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Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 15:31

thats terrible baggybear - what happened, how on earth did she make you feel worse, how bad is that?

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baggybear · 01/09/2005 14:10

Well, I've been to see the councellor. Not much good though. I came out feeling worse than when I went in. Felt she was very harsh, and I ended up coming out feeling like I had done something wrong. Have made second appt but going to cancel it. I can't see how that is suppose to make me feel better?

strike1 · 01/09/2005 10:06

Good Luck Baggy! As Diddle says I'm sure the parents wouldn't have said anything to the kids.

It's hard having to un tell people or take the sympathy they give. My mum was so excited when I told she was going to be a Grandma that she told all her friends (against my wishes) I was so angry at her when I had my m/c, but she was so mortified that I couldn't have a go at her, but it still upsets me that so many people know.

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:36

GOOD LUCK - very good idea having a witty reply, stay strong x

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baggybear · 01/09/2005 09:33

again

I'm off then to see my MC lady. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I'll get over it, just not nice being school gossip. I'll come up with a witty reply if anyone asks me again - oo, I could say "why do you think i've put on weight?" That'll stop them in their tracks ha-ha!

Will pop back later to tell you how this morning went. xxxx

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:29

Oh Baggybear - thats the last thing you need. although kids might not see it as a big thing and probably will have things that are much more interesting to them to chat about. I would hope that the parents would have the sense not to mention to their kids, purely for this reason. I'm sure it will be fine.

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baggybear · 01/09/2005 09:27

Oh NO!! Just thought - my kids didn't know about baby. The mum who somehow found out, her boy is in DS2 class. God, I hope he doesn't say anything

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:26

humphreys - have a good day, hope you're okay with your friend and have a good time.

Baggybear - I never saw a councilor, let us know how it goes, sounds like it could be quite helpful, might be something worth doing if heaven forbid i have a 3rd.
If you're right about your vague idea, it doesn't sound like your friend is a very good one. I hope you get to the bottom of it and find great support from the councilor.

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baggybear · 01/09/2005 09:23

Oh, and I can't tell you where i am in cycle coz I'm still waiting for first AF since MC. Will let you know though.

baggybear · 01/09/2005 09:22

I've got a vague idea how she found out but it upsets me to think about it as it means a friend hasn't kept my secret

I had an awful feeling something like this might happen today. Ah well, I'm off to see a MC councellor this morning so I can talk it out with her.

HumphreysCorner · 01/09/2005 09:17

Oh baggybear-how horrible for you! ((xx)) How on earth did the other mum find out?

Take care

x

HumphreysCorner · 01/09/2005 09:15

Oh yes-can't miss that vital right time

I was just thinking now it is September I would have been coming up to being 6 months PG but although I'm not I must have put the same amount of weight on . Seriously though, both times I only got PG when I was at Weight Watchers-can't afford to go at the mo though so must make an effort to do it myself-starting tomorrow!

Right-got to iron some clothes as off out to see my friend (due 20th September). She was 7 weeks early last time so at least this baby won't be that early although I'm sure she won't hold out until the end.

Catch y'all later

((xx))

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:12

oh baggy - thats awful, i wonder how they know? did your kids know? Oh you must feel so low now. Telling them what happened is sure to shut them up pretty quick, but this is the last thing you need. I would be doing major investigating if it were me.
So sorry you're going through this honey
Go and put the kettle on and let it all out.

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baggybear · 01/09/2005 09:09

I'm SOOOO angry!!!!! I'm boiling!!!!!!!

Just taken kids to school and noticed a lot of mums looking at me in a funny way, but didn't think much of it. Met another mum walking home(who lives not very far from me) and she says "oo, I hear you're expecting". SHOCK !!!!! Didn't kow what to say and I was so upset I blurted out " I had a miscarriage actually". The other mum of course didn't know what to say. But I asked who told her, bearing in mind nobody but my parents, DH parents and 2 very close 3 very close friends knew in the first place. She said it was another mum at school!!! How the hell did she find out??????!!!!!!! I'm school gossip!!!!!! Now loads of people are going to be asking me when its due, or "i'm sorry to hear blah, blah"!!!!!

OOOO, I'm bubbling...

Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:04

sounds like your weekend will be packed with bd then.

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Original poster
Diddle · 01/09/2005 09:03

I never know when I ov either, Maybe cd187/200? is probably easiest although some of us never know how long our cycle will be and our average goes out the window sometimes, so maybe those people will just ahve to put cd123.

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