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Replacing a beloved toy - honesty or deception

52 replies

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 16:42

I know some people have bought replacements of their children’s favourite toys and they might tell them a little story of how they “came back” from wherever they were lost or that kind of thing.

I am having a bit of a dilemma. My children’s favourite toys were damaged severely by being in a mouldy environment. My youngest has asthma and a laryngeal disorder that is reactive to mould, otherwise we might not have noticed. We had to get rid of everything that was “soft” - toys, clothes, furnishings etc.

I knew my DDs would be devastated to lose their favourite soft toys, so I tried to save them. We have treated them with everything we could get, done loads of research - after everything we’ve done the toys are barely recognisable. The fur is totally ruined. And still, my youngest gets this reaction so they’re still not even safe.

I have found, on Vinted, replacements of these toys - like some kind of miracle. My DDs don’t want the replacements. They want their original toy. But their original toys are making DD ill! Should I lie and say I’m sending them off to get a “make over”? Or another thing I thought was to buy some “special wash” (cheap conditioner) and chuck them in the wash, and then produce the “restored” ones after? My final idea was to swap their old toys for the replacements on Christmas Eve so they wake up with the new ones and say Santa did it? 😂

My DH says it would be dishonest. I just don’t know what to do. They flat out refuse to replace the toys, but I know continuing use is making my DD worse.

OP posts:
Witchergeralt · 28/08/2026 22:43

InbetweenDreams · 28/08/2026 22:36

I did find a website of a place that does restorations, to show them how much they can do to bring a toy back - I had a pretty air tight plan for faking it. They didn’t want to send them off for a week. For me, it’s just the moral side of it I’m struggling with really, especially because they’ve been so clear they don’t want replacements etc. I would be fully lying to them, and not just bringing them something they’ve asked for and pretending it wasn’t me…

That's a shame. Perhaps then honesty is just the best policy. They can keep the toys but no longer play with them and obviously cite the reasons and offer to buy them a new different toy each instead. My brother's teddy was in a box in the top of my dad's wardrobe for years for a similar reason.

InbetweenDreams · 28/08/2026 22:36

Witchergeralt · 28/08/2026 22:13

Say you're sending them to the Toy Hospital. I'm quite sure there is one somewhere near you that you can show the kids on line. You can pack up the toys in a box and say you're going to send them and in two weeks you can have a delivery of the "renovated and repaired" toys (vinted ones).

Kids will think they're the same toys, they'll be safer and white lies out of kindness don't count.

I did find a website of a place that does restorations, to show them how much they can do to bring a toy back - I had a pretty air tight plan for faking it. They didn’t want to send them off for a week. For me, it’s just the moral side of it I’m struggling with really, especially because they’ve been so clear they don’t want replacements etc. I would be fully lying to them, and not just bringing them something they’ve asked for and pretending it wasn’t me…

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Kizmet1 · 28/08/2026 22:22

It sounds horrendous @InbetweenDreams and I'm so sorry for all of you because it's bad enough to physically lose the toy, but to have it spoiled by something out of your control and have to part with it is so much worse.

I suppose the half-way house alternative is that you try the white lie, but be prepared to come clean it they ask you outright.

I really hope everyone is okay and manages to have a good weekend whatever the outcome ❤️

Witchergeralt · 28/08/2026 22:13

Say you're sending them to the Toy Hospital. I'm quite sure there is one somewhere near you that you can show the kids on line. You can pack up the toys in a box and say you're going to send them and in two weeks you can have a delivery of the "renovated and repaired" toys (vinted ones).

Kids will think they're the same toys, they'll be safer and white lies out of kindness don't count.

Streetcornerchoir · 28/08/2026 22:12

Maybe you could try the swap but keep the old toys sealed in plastic to protect your DD and put them away somewhere then at least you still have them in case of any future fallout? Of course once they’re grown they’ll probably realise they don’t want the dangerous toys anymore it just gives them the option rather than removing it completely.

InbetweenDreams · 28/08/2026 22:02

Thank you @Kizmet1 I’m probably trying to protect them from being hurt and protect myself from seeing them hurt, maybe a bit too much? I don’t think it would be so hard if there hadn’t already been so much of it from everything else we’ve already lost.

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Kizmet1 · 28/08/2026 19:23

I think with the age they are and how savvy they sound about the idea of a replacement being sent from the "special shop" etc. I'd go down the line of having an honest conversation.
Explain that unfortunately these things happen in life, and we will always love [names of the original toys] but they're not safe to play with anymore.
Then explain that you have found new ones that are the same, and show them the Vinted advert, and if they don't want those then maybe you could take them to a physical shop that sells cuddly toys and let them choose something new?

There might be tears when you lay it all out for them, but they are smart kids who clearly have a brilliant and loving mum and dad, and they will be okay. ❤️

InbetweenDreams · 28/08/2026 09:00

@FenywHysbys I can’t really just make them clothes, as the problem is that the toys themselves are not safe for my youngest.

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InbetweenDreams · 28/08/2026 08:58

RoundAboutAndBackAgain · 28/08/2026 02:42

My two-year-old’s favourite toy “was found by a kind lady who gave him a bath and fixed his wonky eye” before being “returned” a few days later. Worked beautifully.

Until, at 21, I laughingly told this nostalgic story and she was absolutely furious and accused me of lying to her for her whole life, before taking said toy off the end of her bed where it still resided and dramatically throwing it in the bin in front of me. So do it at your peril.

Obviously I was forgiven in due course, altho it was brought up again several times over the years. Funnily enough, she recently replaced her own toddler’s lost toy with a new one and a full back story of why he looked a bit different. I’d like to point out the hypocrisy but I’m a Gran now and I know when to keep my mouth shut 🫣

I think this is what my DH must be afraid of tbh! Obviously I don’t think you did anything wrong, but there’s always the chance they won’t see it that way - especially as I have already suggested replacing them and they are dead set against it.

eta I’m glad she forgave you in the end!

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RoundAboutAndBackAgain · 28/08/2026 02:42

My two-year-old’s favourite toy “was found by a kind lady who gave him a bath and fixed his wonky eye” before being “returned” a few days later. Worked beautifully.

Until, at 21, I laughingly told this nostalgic story and she was absolutely furious and accused me of lying to her for her whole life, before taking said toy off the end of her bed where it still resided and dramatically throwing it in the bin in front of me. So do it at your peril.

Obviously I was forgiven in due course, altho it was brought up again several times over the years. Funnily enough, she recently replaced her own toddler’s lost toy with a new one and a full back story of why he looked a bit different. I’d like to point out the hypocrisy but I’m a Gran now and I know when to keep my mouth shut 🫣

FenywHysbys · 28/08/2026 00:45

Could you make ‘clothes’ for the toys - my parents did this for my childhood bear who had an accident in the washing machine. I still have him now…

FusionChefGeoff · 28/08/2026 00:17

Santa bought a lost toy back one year and the kids (12 and 14 now) still talk about that fondly so I’d do that for sure.

parietal · 28/08/2026 00:00

My dds favourite toy went missing when she was 6. We found an identical replacement but it didn’t smell the same and was named “teddy’s sister” instead of teddy. Soon after her affections transitioned to a new different toy.

id do a swap soon and get new cuddlies at Christmas.

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:55

PleaseDontAsk · 27/08/2026 23:54

It really is. If a 9-year-old still believes a magical being comes down the chimney, delivering presents to every child on earth...

As I already said, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t actually believe it but she wants to go along with it. I wasn’t asking for anyone’s opinion on whether or not my children should believe in Santa, so I’d rather not derail the thread.

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PleaseDontAsk · 27/08/2026 23:54

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:53

I don’t think 9 is “far too old” to believe in Santa, but thanks for your suggestion

It really is. If a 9-year-old still believes a magical being comes down the chimney, delivering presents to every child on earth...

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:53

PleaseDontAsk · 27/08/2026 23:52

Nine is far too old to believe in santa.

If they don't want to part with the toys, then you have to seal them in plastic bags.And that's how they play with them.

I don’t think 9 is “far too old” to believe in Santa, but thanks for your suggestion

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PleaseDontAsk · 27/08/2026 23:52

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:51

Also, I mean, the eldest has suspicions about Santa, but they do go along with it as long as they don’t see any proof? I just don’t know what else to do, they do not want to part with these toys at all.

Nine is far too old to believe in santa.

If they don't want to part with the toys, then you have to seal them in plastic bags.And that's how they play with them.

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:51

Also, I mean, the eldest has suspicions about Santa, but they do go along with it as long as they don’t see any proof? I just don’t know what else to do, they do not want to part with these toys at all.

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InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:49

They are 7 and 9. I don’t think they are going to be fooled, but I was hoping maybe they would want to believe it! I told them tonight about the place I’ve found where you can send them off to be restored and my youngest clutched hers to herself and said “what if they just send a replacement?!” 🫣

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Bbq1 · 27/08/2026 23:44

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 17:23

Oh also, they are not exactly toddlers. Youngest is 7 😬 but they just won’t agree to swapping their favourite things, like they think it would be betraying them haha.

How old are the others given the youngest is 7? I thought we were talking about a toddler! Surely they are wise enough not to be fooled by magic conditioner etc??

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 18:28

RandomMess · 27/08/2026 18:00

I’d send them off to be “restored”!

They are old enough for the toys to go away for a week or so and believe that the restored ones have returned.

I asked them a while ago if they would send them off to get a make over, (when they first looked ruined) but they both refused. I was maybe leaning towards giving them a “special” treatment at home and just pegging the new ones up on the line 😂 The other thing is, I would not be very likely to ever be able to source another replacement, so if their toys got ruined again I’d have to be like “oh, no, they don’t make that special cream anymore!” The tangled web we weave!

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RandomMess · 27/08/2026 18:00

I’d send them off to be “restored”!

They are old enough for the toys to go away for a week or so and believe that the restored ones have returned.

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 17:30

Gardenisablooming · 27/08/2026 17:23

Even Santa is a lie !!add in a toy lie to cheer up and it's surely OK?

That’s why I asked in Christmas 😂 I thought it’s not really any different than the other deception I practice every year! I wondered if they might be more likely to “accept the miracle” if it was Christmas, but I really need to get them gone!

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Gardenisablooming · 27/08/2026 17:23

Even Santa is a lie !!add in a toy lie to cheer up and it's surely OK?

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 17:23

Oh also, they are not exactly toddlers. Youngest is 7 😬 but they just won’t agree to swapping their favourite things, like they think it would be betraying them haha.

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