Replacing a beloved toy - honesty or deception

InbetweenDreams · 2026-08-27T15:42:05+00:00

I know some people have bought replacements of their children’s favourite toys and they might tell them a little story of how they “came back” from wherever they were lost or that kind of thing. I am having a bit of a dilemma. My children’s favourite toys were damaged severely by being in a mouldy environment. My youngest has asthma and a laryngeal disorder that is reactive to mould, otherwise we might not have noticed. We had to get rid of everything that was “soft” - toys, clothes, furnishings etc. I knew my DDs would be devastated to lose their favourite soft toys, so I tried to save them. We have treated them with everything we could get, done loads of research - after everything we’ve done the toys are barely recognisable. The fur is totally ruined. And still, my youngest gets this reaction so they’re still not even safe. I have found, on Vinted, replacements of these toys - like some kind of miracle. My DDs don’t want the replacements. They want their original toy. But their original toys are making DD ill! Should I lie and say I’m sending them off to get a “make over”? Or another thing I thought was to buy some “special wash” (cheap conditioner) and chuck them in the wash, and then produce the “restored” ones after? My final idea was to swap their old toys for the replacements on Christmas Eve so they wake up with the new ones and say Santa did it? 😂 My DH says it would be dishonest. I just don’t know what to do. They flat out refuse to replace the toys, but I know continuing use is making my DD worse.

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · Today 00:16

Thanks for your story @EppingIsFun . I actually decided to be (sort of) straight with my DC. I told them I had been looking at the toy hospital because we thought they could clean the mould, but actually that wouldn’t be possible to clean mould away. I told them we had found replacements and they were surprisingly open to it!

I think it was because they had been imagining their toys all fluffy and like new, so the idea of keeping their old ruined ones was less desirable all of a sudden. My youngest decided it was fine because it was just a body, and that her toy’s “soul” is going to move into the new one, so she will have her old toy in a new body. I’ll take that as a massive win!

OP posts:

EppingIsFun · Yesterday 22:36

No, don't do it. My sister in law suggested to DH that she would help source a replacement for a much loved, favourite toy of DSD's. DSD appeared to fall for the trick but figured it out later on (a few years later), that the toy clearly hadn't just been off to be 'restored' given the state it had been in.

SIL and MIL live together - they kept the old toy 'for safekeeping', and have since fallen out with DH and are refusing to return the original to DSD. I wish I was joking. Pair of witches.

Anyway, please excuse my little in-law vent, but the moral of the story is... there's a decent chance they will figure out the deception and things will be much worse. Just put them in a zip lock bag and tell the truth - they are mouldy and mould makes us sick so unfortunately they need to stay in the bag.

keepmeright · 03/09/2026 11:34

Send them away for a special clean so they are safe for your house then swap them out for the replacement 😊

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · 03/09/2026 11:30

BigWig78 · 03/09/2026 10:42

This ^

find some way to preserve the originals safely (ziplock bags?) but offer the replacements to move affections towards. Help them handle this loss sensitively but honestly.
I, like a PP, tried to replace a beloved toy as my dd had experienced so much hurt that year when she lost a beloved toy. She believed the deception but found out as a teenager- and was hurt and upset all over again. I don’t do lying to my kids so I wish I hadn’t then. Even for the best of reasons tbh it’s still a lie.

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This is the thing I think. I just so didn’t want to see them upset over having to let go of the old toys - but I’m trying to save myself and them the upset instead of dealing with it but I sort of know it’s probably just kicking the can down the road really. I don’t generally lie at all to my kids and am more likely to say something like “we’ll talk about that when you’re older” rather than lying about something, but of course I do make an exception for Santa.

OP posts:

BigWig78 · 03/09/2026 10:42

Kizmet1 · 28/08/2026 19:23

I think with the age they are and how savvy they sound about the idea of a replacement being sent from the "special shop" etc. I'd go down the line of having an honest conversation.
Explain that unfortunately these things happen in life, and we will always love [names of the original toys] but they're not safe to play with anymore.
Then explain that you have found new ones that are the same, and show them the Vinted advert, and if they don't want those then maybe you could take them to a physical shop that sells cuddly toys and let them choose something new?

There might be tears when you lay it all out for them, but they are smart kids who clearly have a brilliant and loving mum and dad, and they will be okay. ❤️

This ^

find some way to preserve the originals safely (ziplock bags?) but offer the replacements to move affections towards. Help them handle this loss sensitively but honestly.
I, like a PP, tried to replace a beloved toy as my dd had experienced so much hurt that year when she lost a beloved toy. She believed the deception but found out as a teenager- and was hurt and upset all over again. I don’t do lying to my kids so I wish I hadn’t then. Even for the best of reasons tbh it’s still a lie.

Missey85 · 03/09/2026 08:55

Id be honest otherwise you set a precedent and a time may come when you can't just replace something

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · 03/09/2026 08:49

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 02/09/2026 23:03

This is similar to my DD, although she was sure he wasn’t real she was confused how we could afford everything Santa brought which made her doubt.

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I think the fact the whole world seems to agree he is real helps to keep them believing even when they know it can’t be real. If it was just me and DH I think mine would already have dismissed the whole idea. But all the other adults in your life or ones you just meet in a cafe or something will be saying “what are you going to ask Santa for?” And acting like he’s real 😂

OP posts:

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 02/09/2026 23:03

SeraphinaRainbird · 01/09/2026 22:54

My daughter told me that she pretended at school that she didn’t believe, but secretly at age 14 she thought that Father Christmas must be real because she knew we had no money, yet our four children all had a pile of presents.

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This is similar to my DD, although she was sure he wasn’t real she was confused how we could afford everything Santa brought which made her doubt.

SeraphinaRainbird · 01/09/2026 22:54

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 01/09/2026 19:13

Goid god please don’t listen this. If you belive people on MN their children are geniuses who worked it out before they could talk 🙄 My oldest was Year 6, 2nd similar but let us think she still believed, my youngest 9 still believes. I know plenty of kids that believe and had to be told going to high school, no ND.

As for the little lie, I’d be honest, children can sense when something isn’t right. When it comes to favourite toys it’s not just about how they look, the toy will have its own smell and feel to it. I’d would wait it out until they fall in love with something new. My 12yo DDs favourite soft toy she has to sleep with I won for her on her 10th birthday.

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My daughter told me that she pretended at school that she didn’t believe, but secretly at age 14 she thought that Father Christmas must be real because she knew we had no money, yet our four children all had a pile of presents.

Favouritefruits · 01/09/2026 19:41

Before school put old tatty teddy in the washing machine and tell your child you’ve found a new cleaner and you hope it works, chuck old teddy in the bin when your child is at school and put the new teddy (slightly damp, quick spray of fabreeze damp) in the washer. When child arrives home and asks about teddy I’d say ‘ oh he’s still in the washer, let’s go check in him’ brand new teddy!

BillieWiper · 01/09/2026 19:32

I think you'll just need to be honest. 9 and 7 are old enough to get over the notion that toys are inanimate objects that come from a factory and can get damaged beyond repair. But also replaced. It's the magic of the child's imagination that brings the toys 'to life'.

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · 01/09/2026 19:27

@ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS yes, I’ve spoken to a few mum friends recently with kids the same age and they all will be writing to Santa! I don’t take the MN standards to heart :)

Thanks for your advice. I think the hardest thing is that for both of them, the toys are things they have owned for as long as they can remember. My eldest’s was given to her by her great-grandma, who died when DD was 6 and who she loved and misses. It’s not “replaceable” to her. (It wouldn’t be the one great-grandma gave her).

It’s also the fact we’ve already lost so much. They were the only things we put the effort in to try and save because they meant so much. I really don’t see them changing their minds and loving something new. I wasn’t attached to one thing throughout my entire childhood how they both seem to have been, so it’s extra hard for me to figure out what’s best.

OP posts:

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 01/09/2026 19:13

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:53

I don’t think 9 is “far too old” to believe in Santa, but thanks for your suggestion

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Goid god please don’t listen this. If you belive people on MN their children are geniuses who worked it out before they could talk 🙄 My oldest was Year 6, 2nd similar but let us think she still believed, my youngest 9 still believes. I know plenty of kids that believe and had to be told going to high school, no ND.

As for the little lie, I’d be honest, children can sense when something isn’t right. When it comes to favourite toys it’s not just about how they look, the toy will have its own smell and feel to it. I’d would wait it out until they fall in love with something new. My 12yo DDs favourite soft toy she has to sleep with I won for her on her 10th birthday.

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · 01/09/2026 19:09

Some of these responses have made me laugh! Thank you all! I’m still waiting on the replacements - since people from Vinted seem to take their sweet time sending things - but it’s giving me time to talk them round :)

OP posts:

Justmadesourkraut · 01/09/2026 18:57

SeraphinaRainbird · 01/09/2026 11:05

I love this! I was adult when I suddenly realised that the cat my dad told me had gone to live with another soldier had been taken to the vet….

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I had the opposite experience. We had a cat Susie, disappear. She was a ratter and used to catch huge rats from underneath the barn next door, often quite bloodied from the fight.. My mum used to despair and say that one day she would not be able to get out from under there - and so one day when she didn't come home, and mum looked sad, I assumed that she had met her doom. Aged 3. And I didn't say anything to mum, cause what could you say?

Twenty years later, I had a cat bring home a mouse and mentioned how sad it was that Susie had died, to Mum. She looked very confused and announced that they had given her away, to a family on another farm, where she could happily rat away all day, and live in the barn, not bringing rodents into our house!! As I hadn't asked, they hadn't wanted to upset me aged 3. I was so happy!!

SeraphinaRainbird · 01/09/2026 11:05

Justmadesourkraut · 29/08/2026 16:31

I'd get the vinted toys and wash them/do the swap on the washing line. Mould spores can be really dangerous. And I'd never tell. Nothing to tell. You put your dds health first.

(My adult friend once told me proudly that her (real life) rabbit had changed colour whilst she was on holiday as a child! It really hasn't occurred to her that anything more sinister had happened, and I wouldn't dream of putting her right!

I love this! I was adult when I suddenly realised that the cat my dad told me had gone to live with another soldier had been taken to the vet….

SeraphinaRainbird · 01/09/2026 11:02

InbetweenDreams · 27/08/2026 23:53

I don’t think 9 is “far too old” to believe in Santa, but thanks for your suggestion

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I still believe in him and I am 77😘😘😜

HollyhocksandPeons · 30/08/2026 21:50

Honestly, they are stupid toys, of course you should lie and tell them you sent them to be professionally cleaned! FFS, I was told people did it with hamsters, replacing them not telling!

Justmadesourkraut · 29/08/2026 16:31

I'd get the vinted toys and wash them/do the swap on the washing line. Mould spores can be really dangerous. And I'd never tell. Nothing to tell. You put your dds health first.

(My adult friend once told me proudly that her (real life) rabbit had changed colour whilst she was on holiday as a child! It really hasn't occurred to her that anything more sinister had happened, and I wouldn't dream of putting her right!

Original poster

InbetweenDreams · 29/08/2026 16:24

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am feeling my way through it with my DDs. I do feel that whatever I do, I am doing it for the best for them, and hoping they’ll see that, sooner or later.

OP posts:

hcee19 · 29/08/2026 16:16

We lie to our children that there's a father xmas, so l don't see why you cannot give them the restored ones back at xmas. Santa's elves got them well again?

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 29/08/2026 07:56

I think you might be overthinking this a bit, understandably because of all the things you had to get rid of. I would've angst too much over the morals of it - we've all told plenty of lies about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, the park being closed... 🤣

You can just do the 'magic treatment' in your own washing machine (which I think is a good idea) if you're more worried about their feelings around having the toy. Or you can just be honest with them and it's a life lesson, if you're more worried about them finding out the lie.

MerryLilac · 29/08/2026 07:41

Have you tried replacing the stuffing?

WellThatsAllRightThen · 28/08/2026 23:19

I would swap it OP, with a story that they have been restored.

Also shocked 9 is "too old to believe in Santa" My DS will be 9 soon and I have no intention of bursting the bubble on this.

Tiptopflipflop · 28/08/2026 22:44

I would do it. "Find" a restoring place that does an overnight service perhaps. The key to getting kids to accept them is to get the replacements smelling right. If timing allows wash the new toys in whatever you normally use, then get your kid's used bedsheets and clothes (unwashed), wrap them round the toy and seal it all in a plastic for a week or so before you give it to them. Kids are far more sensitive to smell than adults and so you need it to smell of your house and them, not the house of the Vinted person.