Author needs your help

aaaah. here it is...

"Tell you what - mumsnet - what a bunch of harridans. Went on there for some advice, and you'd have thought I'd tried flash them." 15 hours ago.

what a peculiar snapshot of the thread at that time. i take it that 'i camped it up a bit' is mcgowan for 'i am an ungrateful wee bawbag'?

Tell you what - mumsnet - what a bunch of harridans. Went on there for some advice, and you'd have thought I'd tried flash them.

what was the tweet, anthony?

i don't understand why you were so rude, tbh, it came out of nowhere a bit, afaic everyone was really pleasant and helpful on the thread. btw i am currently reading to four year old dd from a roald dahl box set bought from The Titchmarsh People, and her head doesn't seem to have turned to marshmallow. agree that their adults books are shite, but you're way off the mark with their kids stuff, imo.

There's a difference between banter and just being insulting.

Don't take it to heart Anthony, we haven't. We're just joshing with you. Good luck with your books.

Oh, and would you mind using more paragraphs when you post.

I find it difficult to read long posts otherwise.

Thank you.

We can take it, Anthony. And my life is busy and fulfilled, thanks for your concern.

I am laughing actually that you imagine my life being unremittingly grim because I took offence at your rude tone.

Discussion is good, hearty discussion great, bit of argy bargy fantastic.

But we do like it to stay polite. Very British, I guess.

And why are you so angry , Anthony?

lol, will you be showing this thread to your publisher? i can't think of any reason why the public might not be with you 100%.

ps can your run that tweet by us again?

fwiw i mostly buy books as presents and wouldn't get a book with bum in the title because it's a bit coarse. we say 'bottom' in this house. [prim]

'A huge part' meaning our huge arses in our straining elasticated polyester trousers.

Er, Anthony, you've just alienated a huge part of your target consumer there. Not good.

Pussycats?

Straining elasticated polyester trousers?

Considering you came on to MN to ask our advice on why your books are not selling, that is actually very rude.

You write that you concern is that the books got "really, really nice reviews from the sort of people who know about children's books, eg Amanda Craig at the Times"

Which implies that we do not know anything about children's books, despite the fact that two posters have stated that they work in that field (An ex-teacher and literary coordinator, a children's bookseller).

Have we offended you Anthony? My comment was not judging the content at all, neither I nor my sons have read your book. You asked for comments on the title and many have commented on the cover because that is what you see when you look on Amazon. I think you have had some very helpful and constructive criticism.

Having now shown the covers to my 8 yr old he thought they looked babyish and at the same kind of level as Captain Underpants/Horrid Henry and therefore too young for him. He is reading Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter and whatever he can sneak out of his older brothers rooms (Viz annuals and football biographies mostly - god help us if he writes a book review at school!). I don't think he a particualarly advanced reader, pretty average really.

There is some fantastic children's writing around, but i think there is a bit of a gap for boys of this age. So good on you for looking to fill it.

I suppose it was fairly predictable that someone getting such harsh criticism would want to criticise something back.

It's a bit nobbish to ask for honest views then start lashing out at us for using book clubs...which I don't, fwiw.

I don't have an issue with your titles at all but the covers are appalling. There is no humour in them

My 9 year old said he would be put off by the childishness of the cover ad think it was for younger kids

Apologies for the appalling grammar in the 1st sentence,3 kids home on hols,quick typing......

I thank that's v harsh re THe Book People. They and Red House have a vast range of fantastic books for kids. This month alone The Book People are selling Judy Blume,Adrian Mole,Jacqeline Wilson, Philip Pullman's Dark Materials Trilogy,Michael Morpurgo,Jeremy Strong,Charlie Small,Enid Blyton,The Little Prince,Flat Stanley I could go on as the list is endless. I'm not sure I'd call any of those the equivalent of Alan Titchmarsh .

I personally hate this reliance on toilet humour to sell books for boys(not suggesting that is what you do). It seems lately to be the in thing.I hate it,it's a real presumption that all boys won't touch any books unless there are bum references. It really sends a bad message on how we view boys as readers. I also think there is a danger that boys will get a constant diet of bad quality fiction just because it has bum references in it ie a bum joke does not a good work of fiction make.

Boys are just as capable as girls of reading a wide variety of books. Some boys need to be enticed into reading I except that but after that they need encouragement to branch out. We started out with HH to entice them in(friends went with Captain Underpants)and interspersed with others, now they love everything,they're not particularly drawn to bum,bogey books above all others. If they're around they might pick one but they'd be attracted by a vast array of other books too. They'll go for HH one week then the next they'll pick something else. DS has currently expressed an interest in Mr Gum if we'd fed him a constant diet of bum books I'm not sure he'd be doing that now.

I think a lot of parents are coming to this conclusion having sat through hours of Captain Underpants,Horrid Henry etc and avoid them all. I think you're a victim of that.

Although I appreciate that most sensible adults might not think in those terms when chosing literature for their kids.

I must say that I find it very hard to find suitable books for my seven year old boy (soon 8). He is not too keen on the beast quest series, he is bored by Roald Dahl, he is not keen on reading football related stories. He now reads TinTin.

"The Bare Bum Gang"
The Big Gang Bang is what springs to mind... Nothing sweet about that. Please ditch the bum ..... I would not buy a book with such a title.

Hi mortalcoils

I can understand your frustration and, indeed, I share it in the shop when I recommend a book for an adult to buy a child which I know the child will love but the adult will not buy because they are worried about offending other adults. That, unfortunately, can only be changed by encouraging adults to bring children into bookshops to choose books for themselves and by booksellers and other professionals reading as many different types of children's books as possible so that they can make whole hearted recommendations.

I was not in anyway suggesting that the toilet humour be 'tamed down' or the content of the book indeed be in any way changed. Your post did suggest that you were more concerned with the commercial aspects of your books particularly about whether the words 'bare bum' should be referred to in the title. This is why I suggested a possible re-branding. In a similar way, there are some younger vampire books pre-Twilight which did not seem to take off but which have been rejacketed to make the most of the vampire phenomena. It doesn't make the books any less good - it is just making them more marketable.

Let me know when your new book is out. I'd love to read it

So I showed it to my DS (10) and he said it looked 'amusingly weird' and he would like to read it. He hasn't even asked what the book is about. I guess though if most parents are put off by it you will probably need to reconsider. Personally I look for things that might attract my DS.

Another hole in the market is books for bright boys who avoid fiction. Appealing to boys love of random facts (did you know that goldfish are the only creatures that see ultraviolet and infrared. Also did you know that you can't split infinity.)

I am practically forcing DS to read The Graveyard at the moment and whilst he thinks it is ok there is noooo enthusiasm for it.
Wimpy Kid on the other hand is read and re read till the cows come home.

Hi there

I am a children's bookseller so (I would certainly hope) have a pretty good insight on what children of that age and their parents are buying.

I think the problem with the appearance of the books (and I know that a book shouldn't be judged by it's cover but it often is with younger readers) is that it doesn't stand out in any way on the shelf. I agree with dropping the 'Bare Bum Gang' bit - whilst most adults appreciate that many boys do love a bit of toilet humour, some are reluctant to buy anything too obviously 'bum' like for gifts for grandchildren/godchildren/friend's children etc incase it offends the parents (even though it is a gift for the child!).

Maybe play up the children having adventures part of the story on the cover - if you drop the Bare Bum title you could even consider having more photographic covers.

There is a lot of toilet humour on the shelves at the moment but not so much fantasy for younger children after you have 'done' 'Beast Quest' - maybe that's something to consider with your next books.

Do you go into schools to promote your books? That's often a good way of reaching your target audience.

Good luck with it.