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Original poster

Modern fairytale for toddlers

86 replies

surreygirl1987 · 25/11/2021 21:51

I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. My 3 year old has recently really got into fairytale and asks for them all the time. However, despite being somewhat modernised, they're still the same stories with traditional gender stereotypes that I was fed as a child. Women's sole role is to marry a handsome prince etc. I really hate the princess and the frog, and the princess and the pea and I hate that I'm giving my two little boys these messages. Does anyone know of a fairytale collection (like the usborne fairytale books) that are the right level for a 3 year old to enjoy, but which aren't problematic in terms of gender portrayal? Many thanks, Charlotte

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 27/11/2021 14:40

Also you might like Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig

www.amazon.co.uk/Three-Little-Wolves-Big-Bad/dp/1405209453?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

EdithWeston · 27/11/2021 14:38

Ella's Big Chance

www.amazon.co.uk/Ellas-Big-Chance-Shirley-Hughes/dp/0099433095?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

A reworking of Cinderella in which (spoiler) she jilts the prince and runs off to set up a business with Buttons

TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 14:38

You knock Hans Christian Andersen but those stories are still being told to the point you want to change them to fit your beliefs. Clearly they’ve got something over the modern ideological feminist kids stories or you’d just read you son them.

TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 14:35

@surreygirl1987

Actually I’m well aware of the origins and changes to fairytales over the years, it’s an interest of mine. But it’s quite typical of someone ideologically driven to assume superior knowledge to whoever they disagree with, so I’m not surprised you so “kindly” offered to re educate me.

However despite being cleaned up some and made more kid friendly in some instances, the basic point of most of the stories remains the same. If however you really need the basic stories of princess fairytales changed to the point they can be considered feminist and “less problematic” - especially in the case of things like the Princess and the frog which is in a way a gender swap on sleeping Beauty and isn’t really “problematic” in it’s telling at all - to the point they are unrecognisable you might as well just choose newly written stories which are more likely to conform to you point of view.

I say that the Princess and the Frog isn’t “problematic” but if of course you consider a princess and prince getting together problematic and would rather she ditched him to teach a course in feminist studies or something, I can see how you would find it so. That may be more of the kind of thing your looking for?

Im just saying, if you want stories like that originals will serve you better than bastardised ideological versions of the old stories.

Swirlywoo · 27/11/2021 14:12

In Cinderella, the ugly sisters chop off their toes to get a man.

Pinocchio kills Jiminey Cricket, has his feet burned off and gets hanged.

Yeah, they've been rewritten a bit.

grey12 · 27/11/2021 13:33

In the original little mermaid, the prince chooses the other girl and the little mermaid is so sad and becomes sea foam

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 27/11/2021 13:21

'Totally right to rewrite Hans Christian Andersen'. The Little Mermaid is one of his. Do you seriously see nothing problematic about a girl deciding to literally give up her voice to win over a man?! 🤦‍♀️

Do you even know much about fairytale origins by the way? The Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault for instance? Fairy tales HAVE been rewritten many times already. The fairytales that you probably know are likely not to be 'original' or early versions anyway. In early versions of Sleeping Beauty for instance, if I recall correctly she was raped while asleep, gave birth to twins while asleep, and one of them bit her nippe and woke her up. That was rewritten to suit the audience of the time (understandably)! There is no one 'fixed' version of fairytales. If you are interested to learn more, I can direct you to loads of interesting literature and research on the topic. But I was literally just posting to get people's ideas of alternative and less problematic versions.. 🙈

OP posts:
Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 27/11/2021 13:12

It seems to me that op (and correct me if I'm wrong @surreygirl1987 ) has a ds (and could easily be a dd) who is enjoying traditional fairytales and in particular princess ones. @surreygirl1987 asked for any alternatives that offered a less passive role for the princess.
Noone said they thought they were better than traditional fairytales. It's always good to broaden children's reading material and to look at stories differently.
In primary school children are often asked to rewrite a story - is this this teacher saying an 8yr old can improve on the original? Or just expanding childrens views and helping them use their imagination?

TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 12:24

@surreygirl1987

There is literally nothing bizarre or far fetched about showing kids old fairytales that have been read and loved for a very long time. What is bizarre and far fetched is that you somehow think whatever ideologically driven take you want of them would be more worthwhile or popular.

I mean who would have known that some feminists in 2021 knew better than every one before them and were totally right to re-write Hans Christian Andersen.Hmm

grey12 · 27/11/2021 11:58

Not really proper fairy tales but I like reading Julia Donaldson: she has witches, dragons, princesses, .......

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 27/11/2021 11:47

@drywhitefruitycidergin I understand your thinking on the messaging of fairytales but a few old stories aren't going to turn your boys into misogynists No I agree with you on that... but in combination with 100s of other things like this in day to day life, I do strongly feel that this is how we are reinforcing gender roles. Part of how children's views of the world are constructed are by books they read.
This is probably a discussion for another thread, but things like the disparity between girls' and boys' clothing (as labelled by shops) and the way toys are marketed (dolls for girls, cars for boys) etc all play a part. When my eldest was around 10 months old we went to a baby music class and the babies all had to choose a toy from the bag. My son pulled out a pink doll. The music teacher actually said to him 'oh do you want to put that back and choose a different toy?' (Not that he understood what she was saying). I was so disappointed with this attitude. Small things we say and do work together to have a long lasting influence upon how children view gender. There's loads of research on this. And then people try to argue that it's natural that boys prefer trucks and dragons and girls prefer pink sparkly unicorns, rather than it being part of a social construct. There's a lot they will get exposed to in day to day life that I can't control- but what they read at home is something I CAN control - which is why I want to fill their bookcases with books that I think teaches good rather than damaging lessons!

Anyway, all I wanted was some suggestions on less problematic fairy tales 😁 thanks everyone.

OP posts:
TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 11:41

@RedDeadRoach

It’s stupid and reductive. The children read for the princess the friendly dragon and the knight. Adults kid themselves that her giving up being a princess and becoming a doctor and teaching him somehow sends a positive message - but the reality is if those things were interesting to kids the story would have been about two doctors in the first place instead of a princess. That’s why it’s successful- they literally could have left out the doctor part and kids would still feel the same way, it’s just there for adults to feel superior about.

And of course it sends the bad message that boys need to be shown right from wrong by girls. Imagine the same in reverse. Yet you celebrate it here.

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 27/11/2021 11:39

@TarasCrazyTiara looks like I don't need to respond to the points you have raised in your latest posts... others have already done so. I agree with them that your posts are 'bizarre' and increasingly 'far-fetched'.

The Zog books sound great and I will be looking into them this weekend. Thanks so much everyone for such helpful contributions- hugely appreciated!

OP posts:
Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 27/11/2021 11:34

@TarasCrazyTiara

I mean seriously read the post in this thread about the princess who stops being a princess to become a doctor then stops a knight from killing a dragon and teaches him to be a doctor too (and of course it’s him that needs to be taught by her). What kind of little boy would be interested in that? Hilarious.
Grin Many little boys and girls love zog. Not because of any forced ideology but because it has good characters, fun rhymes and lovely illustrations like most of julia donaldson books. Your arguments are getting increasingly far fetched
thebookeatinggirl · 27/11/2021 10:46

I love Bethan Woolvin stories - twists on traditional tales - Little Red, Rapunzel & Hansel and Gretal. The Three little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig is great and there's lots based on Jack and the Beanstalk - Jim and the Beanstalk, Jack and the Baked Beanstalk, Jill and the Beanstalk and Jack and the Jelly Bean Stalk.

TrexDrip · 27/11/2021 10:44

Fearless fairytales by Konnie Huq is amazing ! Modern take on the fairytales and the kids laugh and laugh at some of them.

Starcaller · 27/11/2021 10:29

Eh? Zog is hugely popular with both boys and girls Confused What a weird post.

Swirlywoo · 27/11/2021 10:24

My DS loves Zog. So, many boys, I expect! Confused

CallMeRisley · 27/11/2021 10:21

@TarasCrazyTiara

I mean seriously read the post in this thread about the princess who stops being a princess to become a doctor then stops a knight from killing a dragon and teaches him to be a doctor too (and of course it’s him that needs to be taught by her). What kind of little boy would be interested in that? Hilarious.
Zog is a really popular book with little boys (I’m a primary school teacher), there’s also a stage show of it which I’ve taken my daughter to and seen loads of boys in the audience and there’s a TV adaption which I’m sure is equally popular.
RedDeadRoach · 27/11/2021 10:21

I mean seriously read the post in this thread about the princess who stops being a princess to become a doctor then stops a knight from killing a dragon and teaches him to be a doctor too (and of course it’s him that needs to be taught by her).
What kind of little boy would be interested in that? Hilarious.

It's one of my little boys' favourite books. So ... normal little boys who have a wide range of interests and just enjoy a good story. Seems like they've got a more mature outlook on books than you have.

TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 08:48

I mean seriously read the post in this thread about the princess who stops being a princess to become a doctor then stops a knight from killing a dragon and teaches him to be a doctor too (and of course it’s him that needs to be taught by her).
What kind of little boy would be interested in that? Hilarious.

TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 08:46

Like I said, but a book written from 2015 onward which conforms to your ideology. I mean seriously why even bother with the old fairytales if you need them changed so much to fit within your feminist framework.

Your obviously very ideologically driven in this and I don’t care less about feminist theory but again, it may well be the stereotypical pretty princess stories you son likes shocking as that may be. In stories with more obvious hero’s children tend to gravitate toward characters of their own sex.

If you want to read him a book about a kick arse feminist princess saving the day and rescuing her prince while getting her doctorate that’s fine - but don’t be surprised if he requests the Princess and the frog and retains fonder memories of that.
There’s a reason the old stories have lasted.

Time2Move · 27/11/2021 08:42

My kids and I loved Arthur's Tractor when they were small.
www.amazon.co.uk/Arthurs-Tractor-Pippa-Goodhart/dp/0747564787?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

ElizabethinherGermanGarden · 27/11/2021 08:31

I was just going to say Bethan Woollvin, too. She's great.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 27/11/2021 08:24

Bethan woolville has different versions of fairytales. There are little red, Hansel and gretel and rapunzel
My ds loves the illustrations. They still feel like a traditional story but as the ds know the story they love when there is a change
They also like Roald Dahl revolting rhymes (although there are a couple ot words that need editing) red riding hood shooting the wolf with a gun in her knickers is certainly not passive Grin