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Unconditional love is the first requirement - the child must feel safe, loved and secure. Secondly it's important to praise effort rather than result otherwise a fear of failure (and hence no praise/positive input from the parent) could set in. This is particularly important with a child who sets themselves impossibly high standards!

Encourage your children to have a go at anything that piques their interest. Having the confidence to try something new is such a valuable skill for life.

Lead by example. Don't wallow in defeat, be proud of success.

Finding a positive side to all things. "You shouldn't have tried to pour yourself the water by yourself, but you've done a really good job of tidying, shall we finish together?"

Finding some activities that they get praise from, possibly from other people. Things like swimming lessons, where you can tell them how much they've progressed, but they're hearing it from someone else as well. It also gives them the opportunity to see their own development.

Encouraging them to praise themselves! There's still a big stigma against saying "I'm good at that", as was discussed on a thread in AIBU recently. But teaching a child to recognize their abilities is a healthy thing, and leads on to healthy confidence levels as an adult. It's not arrogant to praise yourself.

Plenty of hugs.

Setting the bar reasonably high. Not in a pushy parent way, but in a "I know you're capable of more" way, especially when deep down they know it themselves. Then when the reach that, it shows them they could. Equally if they don't, still praising them for what they achieved. Not necessarily with big things, but with longer complicated words as they're learning to read and things, reminding them they can work it out.

I think praise and encouragement is very important. As well as correcting them when required. Giving them time and attention is also important.

I agreein terms of praise, enthusiasm and listening. Celebrate the small and the big.

Mine have gained confidence from expecting more of them. Getting them to try new things and taking them out of their comfort zone whilst also being very reliable in our love and snuggles. Getting them to try new things and not really caring if they are any 'good' st things.

I think young children gain confidence from you listening to them and validating their voice and opinions. Talking about feelings and fears gives children more inderstanding of their own feelings and how to take on their fears.

Being a caring and consistant support for a young child in both everyday practical ways, emotionally and through fun play and attention will build their self worth and so their confidence in themselves will shine through.

My DD and DS are 10 & 8 now.

Forever and for always we have made sure that we end EVERY day on a positive note. Regardless of whatever has , or hasn't happened , we each say in turn before they go to sleep what has made us happy today.

It provides great opportunity to give positive reinforcement and let's them know that they are loved unconditionally.

Focusing on effort rather than results, or as we say - you DON'T have to BE the best, you DO have to TRY your best

Definitely praising their little victories and their efforts! Commenting on the kind things they do, letting them know you don't just love them but you like them and enjoy spending time with them.

Praise for effort as much or more than achievement. And for things like sharing, listening, behaving when they don't want to.

I also used to tell mine all the things that I thought were great about them from time to time, just to remind them why they were so special to me.

All of these things are great. I share stories from my own childhood problems with my son to help
Him understand that I have been through similar to his, and how I coped. It seems to help him when I share. He can ask questions and know he's not the first and won't be the last.

I also remind him to look out for his friends and other children at school or sports clubs. I think that this boosts his self esteem by concentrating on being kind to others who may be feeling upset or have a problem

No shouting, lots of encouragement and praising specific achievement rather than saying vague things like "good, mummy thinks you are special," instead say things like "you did really well with that cutting and sticking, you can be proud of yourself, good work!"

I have found praise, encouragement and truly listening to the child are things that help us. Also by demonstrating something is ok when my daughter is nervous about something.

I don't know how you instil self belief, but I do think there's something about learning that failure doesn't matter if you learn from it and providing that safe environment for children to learn.

I've been thinking about this thread. I think there is a lot of good advice on here, but I think it's also important to recognise that there may just be differences in individual temperament that impact on a child's confidence, no matter what the parents have or haven't done. Similarly, it's important to acknowledge that different children will respond to different strategies.

I am lucky to have been blessed with a very confident child. She has always been extremely confident, in a lovely non-arrogant way, both in social situations and with regard to learning, trying new things etc. I'd love to claim credit for this, by saying that it's all down to my wonderful parenting, but honestly speaking, I just think it's in her nature - part of her own unique temperament.

I had amazing parents who did lots of the things on this thread, and more, and yet I always lacked self-confidence. Still do. In many ways, I'm in awe of my naturally confident child and can't figure out where she gets it from.

I would hate to think of parents of children who may be lacking in self-confidence to blame themselves in any way, perhaps by feeling that they hadn't praised enough or done enough of whatever else is suggested on here as a means of developing confidence.

I do think that you can have strategies to help build on a child's confidence and self-esteem, whatever their starting point, but we should also acknowledge that some kids are just naturally more confident than others. And that's ok.

High fives and other physical appreciation of success is good to reinforce verbal positive feedback. And letting them see that failure doesn't matter. It's such a cliche (yawns) but it's the trying and taking part that counts. As long as it's fun, you are winning, and building their confidence whatever the outcome.

Pretending to lose at Snap occasionally can't hurt either.

I think it is important to give them the scope to make their own decisions and have their own opinions and then praise them for getting it right.

Well, that and our special song and dance first devised when DC1 was toilet training. 'Woop, Woop, mini meatballs / Woop, Woop throw your hands in the air / check them out; check them out.' Maybe that's more of a personal one though!!

They often see me fail at things and try again (cooking, trying to draw Thomas the tank engine etc!). I hope this makes them realise we all get things wrong and that's OK, as long as we try our best. I don't want them to feel like failures and lose confidence if they can't do something immediately.

I make sure that when DD1 says she can't do something, I correct her and say she can't do it YET.

I wish praise, positivity and love worked on my DS. He's 5 and lacks confidence. The only thing that seems to work on him is preparation and familiarity. we have to prepare him for whatever he's going to need to be confident for, psyche him up for it. The more familiar he is with the place and the people the more confident he is. I hope he grows out of it. I want him to be a confident little boy and man in the future. A friend of mine has an even more extreme case of lack of confidence with her son and she actually attends child confidence classes with her son.

Rehearsal / role play of challenging situations. Slowly my DD is feeling more empowered to do things herself- from coming out of her bedroom by herself (yes she really does lack confidence to do this), to standing up to another child being rude/unpleasant to her. Practising in a safe way through play seems to help the real life situation be less scary.

Oh, and the obvious one...real unconditional love.

I think listening to children is really important. Really properly listening, because you care about what they think, and placing value on what they say. They need to know that their views are important and that their perspectives are valid. That they are important as individuals, regardless of their age.

Praise for achievements is fine when something really special has been achieved, but constant gushing can be counter-productive in my view. You don't want your child to be constantly seeking praise or fearing criticism. The primary reward for their achievements should be their own satisfaction. Ask the child to articulate how he/she feels about his/her latest achievements.

Praising effort, a positive attitude and a "have a go" approach is more effective, I think. Kids need to learn that it's ok to try and fail, and that sometimes you just have to keep trying until you get there. Experiencing , celebrating and enjoying success is vital, but learning to deal with setbacks and failures is just as essential in my view - I deliberately sought out activities that didn't come easily to dd so that she could learn about the power of persistence.

Celebrate their positive achievements in some way. For example, when they've done a fabulous piece of artwork, display it in some way.

Accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives...(great lesson for life!).

Definitely lots of enthusiasm and praise for good things and sometimes letting them get on with things on their ow, playing quietly or reading quietly gives them time to think and feel confident in their own company too.