Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

My 3 year old daughter poo in swimming pool! The swimming teacher had to scoop up all her rabbit poo. Yes, tiny little ones as he had to put it in the toilet paper.
Oh.. Then a kid puke in the same pool soon after he cleaned it all up.

We were sat in the garden unexpectedly negotiating the purchase of some land with a rival buyer and DD then 4 came over asking for the loo, not wishing to disturb the delicate negotiations I indicated she should have a wee behind the trampoline, she looked rather surprised but trotted dutifully off.
As negotiagations continues I could see over the shoulder of the rival buyer that it was not a wee but a poo. I and indeed DD then watched in horror on my part and facination on hers as the dog then proceeded to eat it.

DD is now a lovely 16, the dog is still with us and rival buyer bought the land.

We discovered DDs bogey wall, a wall upon which she had been wiping copious amounts of bogeys over a lengthy period of time just last year. She's 12.

Blimey if your post wasn't blue EmilyMN I'd think you were the famous poo troll!!

I think the most disgusting thing DS has done is telling me he's going to vote Tory when he grows up

The most disgusting habit my dd has Is picking her nose, examining the findings on the end of her finger before quite happily eating it.
It's vile really turns my stomach & makes me question my ability to cook when she will very happily eat bogies but eating a nice freshly cooked dinner is a trauma to her!!!

DS1 was about 3 years old when he brought through a little seed and asked me if we could plant it. I took the little seed from him and remarked how exciting it would be to see what sort of plant it would be. I asked where he'd found it and he replied that he'd picked it out of his bottom. It was a seeded batch loaf seed that had passed through his system and was now perched on my hand. Yuk.

It's not that bad really but my daughter had some kind of stomach bug and threw up all over her bed in the dark and I didn't see how bad it was and lifted her up and she smeared it all over my hair and face...

It was really smelly vomit...

Ds 2 is 9. He loves spaghetti. He was eating it one day when he sneezed and out of his nostril came a long piece of spaghetti. He thought it was highly amusing

Hmmm its either:

The dirty protest on Fathers Day 2010. I woke up to find DS, the cot, the walls, the floor etc covered in poop. He had even got it in his ears. I had to stop and think for a bit about where to start

Or

When he was 2, playing in the garden and suddenly stopped and, with full unblinking eye contact, ate a snail. I was quick, but not quick enough, to stop him and he was most upset as I tried to get as much as I could out of his mouth

He also used to like taking his nappy off in the morning and peeing out of the bars of his cot. The first you knew about it was when you stepped in it......my child is somewhat gross

when my son was nearly 3. he told me he had made me a drink of water. I should have been suspicious as he didn't normally bring me drinks, but i thought maybe his dad had given it him to give me. I had a sip and it tasted a bit funny but I just drank more, thought maybe the tap hadn't ran for very long, as it wasn't that cold either. Later on in the day my son had gone to the toilet, I went to check on him as he was taking quite a while. I found him with a cup in the toilet, scooping the toilet water into the cup. I was like what are you doing, and he said I was making you another drink of water as you liked it so much. I wanted to vomit when I realised I had drunk toilet water! Hes 6 now, and if he brought me some water now, I would think twice before I drank it!

DD (I'm coming out as a really negligent mother here, but thought it warranted a separate post) once got up early and climbed on furniture to reach the tub of vapour rub.
I woke to the overpowering scent of menthol and eucalyptus, and found her looking pleased with herself, all greasy and slicked with vapour rub. She'd wedged it into her ears, up her nose, and (given the streaming tear tracks down her face) got a good bit into her eyes too.
It took weeks to get it all off, and given the state of her nappies in the following days she must have eaten a lot of the tub too.

DS used to hunt snails when he was very young. He'd crawl/toddle up to a bunch of snails and point at one. A while later, he'd find that exact one (to this day I have no idea how he kept track, but it was always the one he'd pointed at!) and eat it with a look of pure joy.
The first time, I fished out some bits of shell from his mouth, but after a while I took the pragmatic view that it was a way to get greens (that the snails ate) and calcium (shell) into his otherwise limited diet.
After a year or so he lost interest in snail hunting anyway.

Not my kids but my brother.

When he was 3 he came across the box of tamppons in the bathroom, cue the "mummy what's this?", my Mum told him that ladies used them when they had sore bellies which he seemed happy with and off he went to play.

A few weeks later he was complaining of a sore stomach because he had diarrhoea, he went off to the toilet for another go and we suddenly heard " ow, ow, ooya" then my brother runs through stark naked with shit covered hands and tells my Mum he used one of her plasters and his belly was still sore and so was his bum was sore too.

We were confused about the 'plaster' until he turned to walk out the room and we spotted the little white string dangling between his arse cheeks... My mum called him over, pulled the string and sure enough out came a shit covered tampon along with a rather interesting puddle that had been jammed in.

He had shoved the whole thing, applicator and all up his arse to fix his stomach!

He's 21 now and I still threaten to tell his mates if he noises me up :o

Oh , where to begin...
My eldest dd frequently ate dirt from the garden. She would have her back to me and I would shout"Are you eating dirt again?" "no" she would say and turn around to display the mud coating her mouth and face.
She was also an expert poo painter if you didn't get to her quick enough in the morning. Her cot would make any historical resident of Bedlam proud.
When dd2 was about 6mths old I had stripped her off on the changing mat, and left her to air her bum whilst I turned the shower on for dd1. When I returned she had poo'd, rolled in it, and was producing a fine attempt at breast stroke across the floor. I picked her up( at arms length!) and carried her through to the bathroom to put her in the shower with her 3yr old sister. Dd1 saw poo coated dd2 coming towards her and shot out of the shower sideways pulling the shower rail and curtain down.
So I am stood with poo coated dd2 at arms length, dd1 is sat shrieking on the loo whilst water rains down upon us all from the now uncontained shower..... And the doorbell rings.....

As a baby, my son managed to projectile vomit straight into my mouth as I was chatting to my husband - who nearly threw up himself as it was absolutely disgusting!!

We're doing baby led weaning with my 8month old daughter and she had enthusiastically gummed on some carrot and other vegetable sticks for lunch. As I was lifting her out of the high chair she vomited up an unpleasant mix of milk and lumps of veggies. I gingerly carried her through to the living room where I passed her over to my mum (who was fortunately visiting) to clean up. I walked back into the kitchen just in time to see my gluttonous two year old putting a lump of regurgitated carrot into his mouth and chewing. I shouted, "No!" in revulsion, he pulled a disgusted face and trotted to the living room for a swig of water.

Maybe he won't eat food off the floor anymore... Doubt it.

Too many utterly disgusting misadventures .....

1. As a 1-year-old, placing his hands down his nappy after he's done a 'do-do' and then proceeding to 'paint' a wall-mural with what he extracted ...
2. As a 2-year-old, sticking a long-lost but recently-discovered-under-the-sofa pacifier (dummy) in his mouth before we could grab it off him to first wash it (the pacifier had a candy-floss like coating ... and I think it was moving ... 'nuff sed!) ...
3. And now, nearing 3 years-old, he got hold of the toilet brush and proceeded to ...

... actually, I better stop there, before I become and have you all join me!!

(P.S. that green-faced icon is supposed to represent me 'sick' not 'envious')

Pick her nose and then put the finger in the mouth

My eldest brought a chrysalis he'd found in his sandpit into the kitchen. I was panicked by something insecty in the house, and worried that he'd destroyed what was within so I quickly took it from his hand to tuck away safely somewhere outside. It was a sand-coated cat turd.

About 16 months old we were in the garden playing,just lounging about,turns out child had eaten a slug,didn't realise til nappy change time where it looked like an undigested grape had came through but no it was half a slug that had to be pulled out.
Makes me sick everytime I see them.

I have fished out a half chewed snail from DS2's mouth. He complained, and demanded it back. He was about 18 months at the time.

My then 4 year old son tried our dog's biscuit! And he liked them!

After a restless night with my 2 year old I was having a crafty lie on the sofa with him watching TV. He was sitting next to me " stroking" my hair until I realised he was actually picking his nose and wiping it on my head!!

I came down the stairs, ready to take DD1 (14months) to the childminder, to find DD1 brushing her hair with the loo brush.

Dd was about 2. I'd left her in the paddling pool while popping into the kitchen for a drink. I came back just as she'd had a poo in there. The night before, she'd eaten sweetcorn. So, floating in the pool, was poo and sweetcorn. Which to my horror she started to re-eat before I could scream no!