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Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

241 replies

EmilyMumsnet · 15/06/2015 12:30

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
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foofoo001 · 14/07/2015 21:29

I walked in to the garden a couple of days ago to check on my very nearly 2 year old dd. She was sat happily playing with her doll and a dead bird!!

Glowlamp · 14/07/2015 00:26

These don't seem too bad compared to some....
I gave my DS ages about 2.5 a boiled egg and he ate the shell too! I searched high and low for it.Shock
Also not long after potty training he finished his cereal and I caught him squatting over the bowl for a wee!!
I'm a terrible mother obv. Grin

beehummingbird · 13/07/2015 23:56

Pood on toys

GeorgeW78 · 13/07/2015 23:47

Making mud pizzas with worms & snails etc as toppings & then munching on them :(

mysticwen · 13/07/2015 21:16

got up in the night and smashed every egg on the floor

TiggersAngel7774 · 13/07/2015 21:01

no matter how many barf bowls i have, my son has a knack of throwing up everywhere but

jacqroberts68 · 13/07/2015 16:39

Leaving a nappy off and turning my back for 1 minute huge mistake, who knew you could wear poo. ewwwww

bendybrickpumpkinpatch · 13/07/2015 13:33

My dd was 2 and a half at the time and newly potty trained. She was always reluctant to poop in the loo and often did it in her pants.

One day she was playing upstairs with her toys and I could hear her pretending to " drive " her Polly Pocket car.
" come on Mrs Squidge lets go vroom vroom " etc etc.
She had pooped in her pants, plucked it out and was driving it around the bedroom in a Polly Pocket car !!!!!!!! Shock

ikkle87 · 13/07/2015 13:20

took his nappy off, played with his poop and then ate a piece of it vom

eloisemummy · 13/07/2015 13:20

My cat once brought a slug in and my youngest at that time just popped it in her mouth.....yes ewww, luckily she didn't swallow it as i just caught it in time :)

sweetnuttydogs · 13/07/2015 10:28

My daughter ate her own pooh !! even remembering the memory is enough to make me feel sick

matphil · 13/07/2015 09:59

I saw my son chewing on something when he was little, he wouldn't show me what it was so I had to put my finger in and get it out.
It was a 'granny grey' that he seemed to be enjoying, it turned my stomach as I hate the horrible things.

angiehoggett · 13/07/2015 09:57

pooping in the bath and pretending it was a submarine seemed a popular thing with my son!

tubbyj · 12/07/2015 23:45

Smeared poo all over the toilet wall as Art

casspuss · 12/07/2015 23:05

smeared poo all over the kitchen walls

Themilseys · 12/07/2015 22:29

When my daughter was aged about 6, we were out at a supermarket when she suddenly announced she was desperate for a no. 2. I waited outside the cubicle but she took ages.....eventually, she allowed me in where I discovered that she'd mistaken the long sleeve on her dress for toilet paper (how?!) and had accidentally wiped her bottom with her dress sleeve!

cathyov · 12/07/2015 21:40

Performed on the display toilet in the centre of B+Q - then cried because there was no toilet paper!

AnneEyhtMeyer · 12/07/2015 21:37

DD had a bug. She vomited all over my top and down my bra and all over herself.

I stripped us both, shoved the clothes in the washing machine and came back to find her projectile-pooing as she turned round and round trying to see what was happening, spraying diarrhoea everywhere and tramping it into the carpet and between her toes.

I just didn't know where to begin clearing it and us up.

ksouthcott · 12/07/2015 21:34

Did a massive poo on my bedroom carpet

mulgrove · 12/07/2015 21:10

When my little boy was young he started to wipe his dirty nappy all over his bedroom wall, it was a night mear as you can imagine he only did it for a few months, and dont no why.

88shirley88 · 12/07/2015 20:41

unbeknown to me , my son put his hands down the back of his nappy and touched the poo in it , he then came over to me and said smell mummy, he then put his fingers in my nose and needless to say i gagged all day grr :(

sarah3875 · 12/07/2015 20:20

My eldest pooped behind his door once and it took me god knows how long to hunt it down!

Think I'm the gross one though. When I was a child I ate a woodlouse and bought and ate horse feed on a school trip! Weirdo!

grannybiker · 12/07/2015 20:16

You know how little ones put everything in their mouths to explore?
You know how new-born's navels eventually drop off into their nappy?

Best not to mix the two unless your reactions to stop the former are much quicker than mine! :O

CactusAnnie · 12/07/2015 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamabluestar · 12/07/2015 19:45

When my DS was 2 months old my friend, who was heavily pregnant, came to visit us.

DS needed a smelly nappy changing, which I dealt with quickly. Too quickly, as once I had cleaned him and he had a nice clean nappy under his bottom, ready for fastening, he started to strain again. Only this time it was as a different colour and consistency. It was as though somebody had squeezed hard on a primula tube, it just kept on squirting and squirting and squirting out. I grabbed the nappy and used it as a shield, in a vain attempt to trying to contain it - it was everywhere.

My friend was in hysterics.

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