Share tips on how to raise a kind child to win £50 of John Lewis vouchers and copies of Wonder by RJ Palacio

As with most parenting issues it's most important to be a good role model and behave the way you'd like your children to behave. You are their biggest inspiration and the old saying is true - kids do as you do not as you say. Be kind and your children will be.

Always encourage your child to see the other side of a story or event and of course sharing is rewarded.

Praise them. Generally and specifically for being kind. Tell them when you notice them playing nicely.
Don't gossip. Not just because it's modelling unkind behaviour, but because you'll make them think the world is an unkind and judgemental place.

Lead by example. Talk about how she feels when others are kind or unkind and how she would like to make others feel by her behaviour.

I taught my son to help out by giving up a little time. We always used to help the volunteers at toddlers group to pack up and sweep the floor as a thank you for holding a great service for mums. Now we stop at fencing club and help them to pack away so that the coach doesn't end up doing it all. He knows that a few moments of his time cost nothing and sharing the workload makes people happy.

The way I teach kindness or rather show kindness is I have my daughter(who is 5 and a half) how to 'care' - people often forget the value of this. I teach her to care for her family, her pet cat, her friends but also the doors at home, her drawing paper and pens, her clothes and shoes, plants and animals, her personal space and other people's etc.. When you show children to 'care' for things and people other than themselves, this along with good manners and good behaviour helps them to be considerate.

I think it is important to lead by example such as always saying please and thank you, especially in places like public transport, shops and cafes. I also think that having small pets and involving children in their care can be important in developing their sense of kindness and care.

Best thing I've found is to set examples for them and help them understand it. E.g. helping out others when they need a hand and explaining why you've done that. I think children are mostly kind anyway, but often things don't occur to them so it's good to have things pointed out.

Try not to judge others out loud when children are present. Tell them how lucky they are compared to many. Be nice!

Children learn kindness (and other altruistic qualities) by the examples they are set by the adults who look after them. If those examples are positive and demonstrating behaviour that is noble and considerate towards others, how can they not learn to be the same?

Hey folks,

My top three tips for getting my little ones to follow my examples when out and about are below:

1. Always hold the door open for other customers and people leaving or entering a building, shop etc. We do not drop doors in people faces. Think how you would feel if they did it to you, I say!

1. Never run straight to the front of a bus stop you have just arrived at. Assume there is a queue and wait your turn to board bus. Again,put yourself in their situation.

1. I always tell my children ahead of them encountering anyone who I know they will assume is 'different'. My sister, their aunt, was previously an anorexic and still has health issues and also osteoporosis. She can't physically get down on the floor to play with the girls, cannot stand for long periods and still looks physically very frail. Discussing this with the girls before hand may not stop all their staring, but it does eliminate awkward, cruel questions which will hurt people and which i know my sister would be embarrased to tackle. They know that we as a family can openly discuss this and can always ask me in private at home later on if they have any more questions.

The first two are very old fashioned things I know, but I think if we have high standards in these basic areas it helps them spread to other areas of the girls lives.

Appreciated all the tips on this thread,

Thanks Rachel

Be kind to them and give plenty of praise when they, in turn, are kind to another

My 11 yr old dd is incredibly kind, she is always thinking of others, some of which is my example like us recently sorting some things out for Chernobyl children visiting locally. I work as an Admiral Nurse (we support the carers of people with Dementia ) and I discuss with her what little things can make others happy.
As the youngest in her secondary school, as she has an August birthday, she has experienced some unkindness since starting in September but now she recognises better when others are being unkind and is more likely to stick up for the person on the receiving end.

I encourage my kids to share with everyone but not to expect anything in return.

By example. A LOT.

And by pointing out how x comment will make one person feel bad, what they will hear and how they will probably feel.
By making them think about how they would feel about it themselves.

Tbh, at the moment, I'm finding that raising a kind child before they are teenagers is relatively easy. To keep that up when they hit the teenage years is harder.

I think using pets is a good way to install values of kindness. Whether it be just feeding them, taking them for a walk, giving them a drink or just patting them. It seems to provide immediate non verbal feedback that epitomises kindness.

Take the time to explain being patient with other people who may not be as quick as themselves.

I always tell my ds to treat people as he likes to be treated. And he has a kind nature at school he will go and sit and chat to another child that is upset or lonely

Say things with a smile - something as simple as a smile goes a long way and costs nothing.

Be kind yourself, point out and praise kind behaviour and encourage empathy by asking "how would you feel if". I do think that to some extend kindness comes from within. I also reckon that at some stages children aren't all that kind especially to siblings.

I try to catch my children when they're good instead of telling them off each time they're not so praise and reward kind behaviour. Most kids stories for toddler/ young child age group also have a kind hero and a 'baddie'who is not so kind, so is helpful to have a quick chat after a story debriefing on what behaviour was good and what not and what repercussions are if are unkind.

Teach kindness by showing kindness, tolerance and understanding. Children learn so much just by following their parents actions. Always praise good behaviour and more will follow!

Right from being a toddler I always taught my daughter to have 'kind' hands to prevent hitting others etc. & having consideration for others. Children tend to emulate what they see so I try to set a good example, & always comment whether things are right or wrong so they soon learn right gets lots of praise, & wrong gets the stern voice of explanation.

Teach by example.

Use reflecting language to spell out praise.

Reward effort and consideration - it doesn't need to be a tangible reward, reward kindness with kindness.

Don't boast about the kindnesses you do, but include and involve the dc, with age-appropriate explanation.

I try and demonstrate it as often as possible. I also try praise my dc for being kind and comment when someone else is doing something kind whether in real life or tv.