Share tips on how to raise a kind child to win £50 of John Lewis vouchers and copies of Wonder by RJ Palacio

My oldest dd1 is incredibly kind, I think (she's naturally a much kinder person than I am!). I'm not sure it's something you can teach very well. But:

Talk through feelings with them, especially thinking about how it might feel to be the other person in a dispute. Talk about why some other people might not be very kind. and what they can do about it.
Be positive about their kind behaviour and reward it - we used to give a small prize every time someone spontaneously commented on their good behaviour.
Don't tolerate nastiness/hints of bullying etc for a moment.
Encourage them not to leave people out (for us this usually translates into having big birthday parties that expand as they remember more people who might feel left out).

Lead by example. Praise kindness.
Take time to listen to DDs feelings and talk through them with her. Remind her that others have feelings too.

By treating them as people in their own rights, rather than objects/things to be bullied and forced into thinking and doing what you think is right. By having conversations with them, rather than talking/shouting/lecturing at them. Sharing with them, admitting when you are in the wrong, saying please and thank you to them, praising them when they have done something right/good .....Lead by example as many posters have said before me.

Definitely bu example. My dd isnt great at empathy and needs actual examples of how to be kind - its kind to share, x would be happy if you play with him, it would be kind to fetch your little sisters toy because she is upset etc. Just asking her to 'be kind' is a bit theoretical.

Lead by example. Small things are important here too - thanking people who hold open a door, respecting others for their work and so on.
Also expose them to all sorts of people, ways, modes of being in the world, so they do not become arrogant about their own predilections.

I try to teach by example as I have learnt that children follow the behavior that they see growing up. Basically treating people how they want o be treated and being available to discuss anything with them.

I ask my DC to put themselves in others shoes quite often.

How would you feel if nobody played with you in school?

How can we make XX feel better about this?

What can we do for XX?

It seems to be working, as they are lovely little people.

Leading by example, so always saying please and thank you, sharing things with them.
Praising them when I see good manners such as sharing toys, letting people walk past etc.
Highlighting how it makes others feel when she is unkind.

I always make a big deal of overemphasising being polite, saying please and thank you, and making sure I always offer my boys some of my food. I think children learn by example so I make sure my examples to them are really obvious.

Like others have said, I try to show kindness by being kind to my children. If ever I hear anything unkind from my daughters, I realise that it is me she is imitating so try to learn from this and show her if I can correct my behaviour, then so can she.

ds has asd so it is an uphill battle. when he is unkind to his sister he is asked whether it is kind and how she may feel, how would he feel if he was not allowed to do whatever he is stopping her doing etc. he finds being talked to and questioned and expected to answer quite difficult and hates it worse than just a telling off.

he used to have to be held while she had her turn on the tv or he would put it off and stand inthe way.

he also has the deterrant that his computer time relies on beiong kind to his sister.

when other children are kind to dd in difficult circumstances, I often tell their parent. best to encourage kind things.

Role modelling is a great way of showing children how to be kind. If they see you do it, they are more likely to themselves.

Also use opportunities to explain to children what can lie beyond what we see. Help them to see things from the others persons point of view. I always remember the quote from 'to kill a mockingbird' about wearing another mans shoes and walking around in them.

For example, my son was having real issues with a horrible teacher at school in the past and rather than create a battle / defensive type situation I helped him see what his teacher was going through and why she was responding like that. It totally transformed their relationship and she went from being most hated teacher to one of his favourites because he was able to be kind to her and understanding of the situation.

I've also been really impressed with the care he's shown for a school friend who has been unwell - without any prompting from me so i think children have a naturally huge capacity to be kind and caring anyway and i suppose our role is to nuture that so they don't lose it as they grow up. I often think grown ups could learn a thing or two about kindness from children in fact!

As others have said I think that the main thing is to lead by example and to praise good behaviour

Always treat the child with kindness, they learn by example

I think kpdchudleigh should win. Her post made me bellow and I'm still chuckling now just picturing the scene!! Brilliant.

Praising good behaviour
Being a good role model
Encourage them to share, take turns, be nice etc.

I think a lot has to do with temperament / personality too - not sure I can take all the credit for DC's being kind & thoughtful, they seem to have that caring side in them.
I just try to lead by example, be positive and discourage 'bad' behaviour.

Children don't always believe what you tell them - but if they overhear you telling someone else - they believe it more.. so - I often share the kind things my kids do with granny on the phone.. where the kids can hear.

I'm sure they believe they are kind - and that what goes around comes around- and therefore try :)

Never eat a cake, packet of crisps, sweet without sharing.. if you share with them they will share with you

When encountering other children - hide the most important toy of the moment - share the rest - if someone has something you want ask but accept you may have to wait - unless they are small then fain interest in something you don't want.. and they may swap.

hug.. cuddle and talk things through

Encourage them to spend time with and appreciate children who are different from themselves. The SENCO at my dd's school when she was in reception told me that having dd (severely autistic) in the class had helped the other children in the class make such a lot of progress socially and emotionally because they had to learn about valuing people who were different. Two of the little girls in this class are now incredibly mature and kind. They help my dd out in so many ways.

I think by talking about being kind, giving examples and reading books (we have one calles 'When I'm feeling Kind) you can help kids learn. My daughter's school are very good at teaching them to be kind to each other and when she won a ceritificate for being a kind friend I was very proud of her.
I try and reward my kids when I see them being kind to each other.

Agree with leading by example, but also

• noticing and praising them when they do something kind or making them aware of when someone has been kind to them, and sharing examples of when people have been kind to me.

• I tell my own dc that being kind is the best thing that they can be. I also try to make them aware of how others might be feeling eg new child in class.

You teach kindness by modelling that behaviour, not only to your children and other family, but also to all the other people who cross your path throughout. But I think it's also worth being aware of their friends and their behaviour, as children often pick up much of their behaviour from their peers. And be open to the possibility that your children might not be the little angels you believe they are -- it's easy for them to get sucked into cruel behaviour if it's what their friends are doing.

When you see other kids being mean/sad either in real life or books etc talk about. E.g 'Why do you think Alfie was sad? What could we do to make him feel happy?'

I agree with everyone who has said to lead by example. My mother was the kindest person I've ever known and her Grandchildren are the same.