Share your supermarket stories with Squishy McFluff

So, with ds aged about six. Back from a weekend away and I stop at the supermarket to get milk and bread, decide to choose a cake each from the bakery for him and his siblings.
Ds is so rude and silly I do the good mother thing and decide he can no longer have a cake.
Well. Suffice to say it ended when security and the manager and i managed to track him down after several minutes running and hiding to the chilled aisle. It felt like the entire shop was on alert for this terrible child racing around and evading me in a massive temper tantrum.
I had the manager push the trolley to the car, me carrying him and in the end some lovely elderly lady had to keep the car door shut while I got in and put the child lock on.

I was pushing my 9 month old breastfed baby round in a trolley when suddenly she lunges at me and tries to latch on through my T shirt

When ds was about 3, we went out for lunch. When we were paying our bill, the waiter gave him a big bright-coloured lolly.

After the meal, we popped into a DIY superstore and, high on sugar and food-colouring, ds was uncontrollable. He escaped and climbed onto the first shelf in one of the aisles, crawling behind the things stacked on it. A couple of minutes later, he knocked a 10 litre pot of floor paint off the shelf and when it hit the floor, the lid came off and it spilled everywhere. My heart sank, as it had a £50 price label and I could see no alternative but to offer to pay for it. A member of staff arrived and said "that doesn't look right" and picked up the lid to see what it said, and it had a "Use before" date a decade ago.

We picked up our very dusty child and left promptly...

we were in local Tesco , when an old lady stood near us , she had a lot of facial hair almost a beard, my dc shouted does that man not have a shaver , I wanted the ground to open up , I dragged past quickly , blushing

I went shopping with my boy aged 9 and I had said in the car that I only wanted to spend £70 today try not to go over. at the checkout I spent £78 and I paid but my boy really embarrassed me by saying "mum you have gone over, we cannot afford it please put some shopping back" and he was really concerned and distressed, everyone was looking I had to drag him to the car park while I explained to him him to that I would manage.

My DS asked on Saturday whilst in Morrison's fruit and veg department, "Do bananas do stinky poohs too Mummy?"

Best was my Nephew who said "I don't know why Mum buys they Always towels. Noone else needs their own miniature towel to dry their bottom after going to the loo!"

My 2 nearly 3 year old son likes to shout "I want my mummy!" at the top of his voice at regular intervals when we're out in public. I'm surprised that I haven't been arrested for child abduction yet!

My 2 nearly 3 year old son likes to shout "I want my mummy!" at the top of his voice at regular intervals when we're out in public. I'm surprised that I haven't been arrested for child abduction yet!

Haha! It was actually Waitrose it happened in, if I win I may have to do my shopping online! Lol! :D

I was at the Deli Counter of a well known supermarket holding my youngest daughter and about to buy some chicken breasts when she pulled down my top exposing me in front of the young man serving me and shouted 'BOOBIES' at the top of her voice! I was mortified, and it took what seemed like ages to cover my modesty, the guy did not know where to look, my little girl was giggling wildly and chanting 'Boobie juice, Boobie juice!' I literally left my basket where it was and quickly left!!

A week before christmas i was pushing my 18month old in trolley,hubby pushing 9 month old in pram,went down wine aisle buying expensive whiskey etc for inlaws,when BANG i was too near the champange shelf,my son literally pulled it down I WAS MORTIFIED!!! :( a worker came and sweeped up and noone said a word!!! :-o worst ever!

Several years ago I took my 3 young sons aged 3, 4 and 7 (whilst pregnant with my 4th, a girl) to the supermarket to find they had introduced 'child size trollies'.

Great idea.

Each son took charge of a trolley and then proceeded to race one another to see who could collect each item of shopping first. I stood by helplessly while other shoppers tried to dodge and get out of their way while they careered up and down the aisles. I tried valiantly to stick to my shopping list but ended up stressed, exhausted and with 3 of everything.

Needless to say I didn't return to that supermarket for a very long time.

Can't comment on the DCs but can still feel the embarrassment of dropping a jar of picked onions as a child in Tesco. My Mum meanly made me go in after a tap dancing lesson (pointless, was crap anyway). I was so embarrassed, must have been bad to feel more concerned about the jar than the blood on my hand!

The best supermarket tale I ever heard was when a young boy was repeatedly pushing a trolley into an old lady in the queue, the lady was too polite to say anything but the lady behind them said to the child's mother"Excuse me but can you stop your child doing that?" The mother replied " I don,t agree with telling children off! " the other lady then took a yoghurt out of her shopping, removed the lid and poured over the mothers head and said " yes , I was brought up like that too and look how I turned out!

My daughter is in the midst of potty training, so everywhere we go before we leave the house we will first ask if she needs to go to the toilet for a poo or wee. She then replied 'no'. When we got to the supermarket I then asked her again, as we were passing the toilets, if she needed the toilet for a poo and wee, in which she replied 'No'. We then proceeded to shop. She began whispering and pulling at my arm, mumbling. I got down and asked her to speak up as I couldn't hear her in which she shouted 'Mammy, I'm pooing. I'm pooing, I'm pooing. It is coming out NOW!'
I then picked her up like a rugby ball and ran to the toilets, people disbanding out of the way after clearly hearing why I was in such a hurry.

Trying to load the shopping onto the conveyer belt in a bit of a fluster. Toddler safely sitting in the seat of the trolley.
It wasn't until I clocked a shocked look from an older lady that I realised my toddler had got hold of the eggs and was smashing them one by one on the shop floor!
Soooo embarrassed but huge thank you to the Waitrose staff who insisted on cleaning it up (not me) and replacing my eggs without even batting an eyelid.

When DS was about 7 or 8 we did a big shop and went to checkout with full trolley, as we waited I remembered something else I needed so asked him to stay there while I went to get the item.

On the way back I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen for ages and got distracted chatting! When I realised I needed to get back to the checkout DS had out all shopping through and was waiting for me to pay! Home Alone was his favourite film around then....

When he was maybe 3 ds was having the standard 'where does food come from?' conversation.
"So milk comes from cows?"
"Yes love"
"And apple juice comes from apples?"
"Yep"
"Mummy, does that mean humming birds make hummus?"

Love the way the mind of a 3yo works!

I was at the checkout and pulled my purse out of my bag only to drop a sanitary towel on the floor, within seconds this man came over, picked it up and tried to hand it to me, saying is this yours, no, I reply absolutely so embarrassed, but he wouldn't let it go and kept on, so in the end I snatched it off him and ran!!!

When DS was 2 we'd been out on his bike and I just needed to nip in the supermarket to grab some milk. I didn't have a bike lock and didn't want to leave the bike outside so I told DS that we would have to walk the bike round the supermarket. A minute or so later I spotted a friend and got chatting before realising DS was no longer by my side (and neither was the bike). I then noticed a rather large, sweaty security guard 'sprint' past the end if the aisle so I nipped along to check what was happening.
It turned out that the security guard was in hot pursuit of a toddler, who obviously thought thus game of chase as he rode his bike at top speed round the supermarket was great fun.
Red faced, I managed to remind my son that we don't ride bikes in supermarkets and apologise to the out of breath security guard. He was less than impressed.

We have so many tales of such sort to be told,
Some are recent and some are very old.
I remember the time when my sister asked out loud:
'Whose done a fart?' and the blushing shop-assistant looked down.

Nowadays we have fun with the self-scan machine,
Who gets rather cross at us and sounds rather mean.
When it asks if we've used our own bags, my daughter shouts 'no!'
Whilst my son scans in toys of his own that he's brought from home!

The toilet roll stack got knocked down in a jiffy,
When my kids ran around it and made me giddy.

The desserts got demolished and squidged by little fingers galore,
My baby ate food off the shelves and then asked for 'more'.

The queue is a dreadful place to wait,
Because of the comments the kids make about weight.
'That man is fat, that lady's grumpy,
Why are you buying cakes mum when you're big and lumpy?'

And all that before I've even told you about our bad luck,
When somehow, yes somehow, my son's head got stuck!
He'd pulled round a basket trolley, you know those mini things on wheels,
When 'help' 'help' he shouts and then starts to squeal.
I turn round and see his head through the handle of the basket.
However has he done that! I don't even dare ask it!

Now you may think I'm exaggerating, that these tales are not real.
But I kid you not, with my family, this is the real deal!

(These are true things that have happened to us at the supermarket!)

in the supermarket shes in the child seat.
around her mouth is a packet of kit kats.
"how did you manage to get them!!" we hadnt been near the kitkats.
"i remembered how you said to work together to pass items today,so i asked the boy in the trolley next to us if i could have his kit-kats and then he could have our krispies."
i looked and our cereal had gone.
oh...

with a two year old in the trolley, little fingers reached out and grabbed a sticker off a pair of jimjams and stuck it on my heavily pregnant tum. Unaware, I walked around for the next hour wondering why I was getting stares and smiles. When I got home, I found the sticker: 'Touch Me, I'm Soft,' it said.

Not my DC, but I did see a boy at tescos with his head stuck behind a hand rail that ran around a steel girder/pillar. I was ever so relieved he wasn't mine.

My boy loves to narrate the contents of my trolley as it is being placed on the checkout. He is also very loud and likes to make sure everybody can hear what he has to say!! I am 9 months preggers now and have suffered a very very week bladder throughout so he has witnessed me having a few accidents over the summer in my final trimester and also watched me apply a sanitary towel as he also follows me into the loo. We were in tescos and I was stocking up on Always Ultra which is a brand he recognises and loudly announced to everyone...."mummy,s nappies, mummy's got a leaky foof so she wears nappies". "Mummy wee wee'd on the toilet floor and it was sticky". The poor check out guy did not know where to look and his face was possibly redder than mine. Lots of people clearly heard judging by the giggling in neighbouring aisles too, and the most embarrassing thing was I still had another 50 or so items to come through the checkout!!!